Satisfy Me

Chapter 4


 Suzzie

I was sitting on the back steps trying to get a knot out of my shoelace when I saw him on the other side of the fence.

Rowan stood near the trees with a stick in one hand, dragging it slowly through the dirt. He didn’t look over at first. I watched him for a few seconds, then stood and walked closer to the fence, still working at the lace.

“Hi,” I called.

He looked up, startled for a second, then gave a small nod. “Hi.”

I got the knot free and hooked my fingers through the fence links. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing much.” He glanced at the stick like he had forgotten he was holding it. “Just walking.”

“Can I come over?”

He hesitated, then shrugged. “If you want. The gate’s further down.”

I followed the fence until I found the wooden gate, lifted the latch, and stepped through. The ground on his side felt the same but looked better kept. Rowan waited where he was, stick still in his hand.

“My parents aren’t home,” he said. “They went into town.”

“Mine are unpacking the last boxes. Mama said I could be outside if I stayed close.”

He nodded and started walking slowly along the tree line. I fell into step beside him. For a while neither of us spoke. The quiet felt different from the first visit. A little less careful, more like we didn’t know what to do next.

“Do you always walk around out here?” I asked.

“Sometimes. When it’s too quiet inside.”

“Our house is still loud with boxes. Papa keeps moving furniture and then moving it back.”

Rowan almost smiled. “My father does that with papers. Moves them from one side of the desk to the other.”

“Does it help?”

“I don’t think so.”

We reached a low fallen log and sat on it. I picked up a small stone and turned it over in my fingers. Rowan set the stick down and rested his elbows on his knees.

“Have you heard from your cousin?” he asked.

“Not yet. She only left a few days ago. She’ll write.”

“You miss her.”

It wasn’t a question. I looked at the stone. “Yeah. She always leaves, but it still feels strange when the house gets quiet.”

He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t have anyone like that.”

“No cousins?”

“None that visit.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just nodded. We sat listening to the leaves move. After a while I asked if he wanted to see the stream that cut through the far corner of our property. He said all right, and we walked back through the gate and across the uneven ground behind my house.

The stream was narrow and shallow, more a trickle than anything serious. I crouched and put my fingers in the water. It was cold. Rowan stood beside me, watching the current move around a few smooth rocks.

“It’s smaller than I thought,” I said.

“Still moves, though.”

“Yeah.”

We stayed there until the light started to change. I told him I should go back before Mama noticed how far I’d wandered. He walked with me as far as the fence, then stopped.

“Are you going to be around tomorrow?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Probably.”

“Maybe I’ll see you.”

“Maybe.”

I went through the gate and latched it behind me. When I looked back he was still standing there, hands in his pockets again, watching me cross the yard. I lifted one hand in a small wave. He nodded once, then turned and walked toward his own house.

Inside, Mama was in the kitchen and called out to ask where I’d been. I told her I’d stayed near the fence and talked to the boy next door. She gave me a long look, then told me to wash my hands for dinner. Papa asked if we’d stayed where we could be seen. I said yes. He seemed satisfied.

At the table I kept thinking about the quiet way Rowan spoke and how he had walked all the way to the fence with me even though he didn’t have to. The house felt a little less new than it had that morning.