Heads And Tails

Interested

Zack

I was told growing up to be good at sports and to like them, be good with my hands, to work hard so I could settle down in a nice neighborhood with a good paying job to take care of my two kids and a beautiful girl that would make me a changed man. A man who would want all those things, to be a provider, to be a husband, then I could retire, have my kids come and visit me and all would be swell as I lie on my deathbed having no regrets because I’ll finally be in a better place.

Don’t get me wrong I liked the idea of all that, well not really but, replace the women with a man and you got me, a gay kid who isn’t really struggling with figuring out his sexuality but trying to over come it. Jump through the hurdles of being gay in a society that’s open to it but not to the point where I still don’t have to make a big thing about telling someone. And that doesn’t necessarily change the story but it does put a little dent in my plans well my parents plans but, I’m not focused on any of that right now, coming out of the closet isn’t even close to the frontal lobe of my brain because I have a mission that involves a nerdy boy to notice me.

His name is Connor Ginger, he is the complete opposite of me but for some reason I find myself annoyingly attracted to him. He was the stereotypical nerd; he lacked social skills in all aspects and kept to himself, was good at all subjects and mostly took Classes above his year but for some reason I wanted him. Maybe it's the way he looks when I slam my hand on the locker behind him and he just cowers underneath me. God what a sexy sight to see. But unlike every girl in this school he doesn’t even give my advances the time of day and always ends up running from me like I’m some monster. I looked up just to peek at him eating all alone reading some really big book, this brought me back to the time when I sat next to him and he wasn’t eating. I had finally built up the courage to talk to him asking him if he had any lunch money and he ran away from me so I couldn’t buy him lunch. Maybe I’m just not his type. Or he thinks I’m ugly.

“You look thirsty Zack.” I felt a tiny water droplet splash on me snapping me out of my thoughts. I quickly looked away from Connor to my bestfriend Tavan.

“Shut up.” He smiled and just sat next to me.

“It’s silly how you were blessed with the power of bending backs of any female you want but you chose him.” I rolled my eyes and went back to my food. Tavan has always been like this since this summer when I told him I swing the other way. I also told him I have a crush on Connor that day as well and since then I knew that I found my best friend. His reaction was if anything underwhelming his eyes got big for a second but he just sat down and said and I quote, ‘So that’s why you never slapped any of our asses after a winning game? Makes sense now.’ He didn’t ask the stupid normal question like about me trying to get at him but did mention how I was a waste of potential. It’s annoying yes but, it’s better than him have a egocentric heterosexual melt down.

“You can’t tell me he’s not cute.” I looked back at Connor and he was now eating an apple, his mouth opening wide lips closing in on it. The juice comes out a bit so he licks his lips, swallowing slowly as his Adam apples bobs. f**k!

“Okay I see a dude with potential to be great but nothing right now.” That was good enough for me. I liked him the way he was though. I’m no fixer and I didn’t even think he needed to be fixed. He was a sexy nerd and I’m glad no one was trying to make a move on him because then he would be all mine. I finally looked away from Connor just because I didn’t want him to look back at me while I was staring a hole into his head. If he looked my way right now I’d be mortified. “Your ten.” Tav spoke quickly and I felt immediately dread as I looked over at who was walking this way.

“Zackie bear, could you give me a ride after school today?” It took all of me not to roll my eyes at my ex Sarah. Not to be mean but I’m pretty sure she’s the reason I’m gay. Well that’s a lie but there’s no way I could even dream of dating another girl after her. That’s how annoying she was. But I guess that had to happen to figure out my sexuality so I’m grateful to her but damn she sucks.

“Daddies Ford not working today Sarah?” She rolled her eyes and sat down next to me.

“No need to be rude, just wanted to rekindle this flame.” Tavan laughed but noticed no one else was so he tried to cover it with a cough. I smiled and looked back at her. She was wearing some shorts and a crop top that clung nicely to her body. Looking at her made me realize she could also have anyone she wanted but, for some reason she wanted me and since I knew her I can make a pretty good guess as to why. She was a surface level girl who wanted surface level ideas and in this world of highschool we are stuck in for four years I was the quarterback and she was the head cheerleader, most likely she wanted to live out that great dreamy scenario with me that only leads us down one path to being highschool sweethearts but miserable in ten years.

“All I have to say is no. Besides I have a tutoring session, not pulling a B in math right now and the coach wants me on the field .”

“Who is your math teacher? Why doesn’t he just give you an A for effort?” Sarah whined.

“Because that is illegal and even though I’m good at football does not mean I’m worth losing his job over.” She just frowned and stuck her tongue out I guess trying to be cute but I found it aggravating.

“Go ask Hillary for a ride or I don’t know how about going home the same way you came to school.” Tavan spoke up. I laughed and realized she had finally hit a nerve within him. He always hated her high pitched voice that sounded like a dying canary. His words, not mine but when I was dating her he was never around because and I quote, ‘your girlfriend has the voice of spongebob on meth.’ But I’m glad he had no tolerance for her, I was a little standoffish but I wasn’t a mean person so he made up for that with his cold as ice personality.

“Still as lonely and bitter as ever, Tavan.” She said through her teeth.

“Still ugly and let’s not forget you are also lonely and bitter Sarah if you weren’t you wouldn’t be trying so hard to f**k my good ol friend here.” She squinted her eyes at him and just flipped him off walking away. He laughed and called out to her. “Love you too sarahy-weary” his puppy dog voice made it better and I held in my laugh till I saw her walk out of the cafeteria.

“You’re stupid.” I exclaimed through my chuckles.

“No you’re stupid, I can’t believe out of all the girls to figure yourself out with it was her. Don’t get me wrong her body is immaculate but god her personality is just bricks.” I couldn’t argue but she was a little bit more than that.

The lunch bell rang and I started walking to my English class going separate ways from Tavan when I saw Connor struggling to carry his books. Should I help or should I just walk past him? I don’t want to scare him but I also want to talk to him.

I know just the perfect way.