The art of dessert

Going out

After what i can only explain as the best orgasm of my life. Emily stood up wiped her mouth and told me to get dresses because we were still going out. How can she be so nonchalant about this. 

But i did as she said and put on my best outfit. I did a simple french braid pulling it out slightly to loosen it up. Then i put on my lose fitting jumpsuit, it was dark blue with vertical white stripes and my combat boots. looking in the mirror i wasn't disappointed, i just couldn't understand how people do this. I'm so scared of people seeing me, the real me. I know to each there own but guys kind of scare me. I enjoyed what happened with Emily but I don't know about what i would do with a guy. I've only known men to hurt me. When my father died I cried because i was finally free from him. I was so happy. Martin was abusive yes, butt hes was a special kind of psycho. He made it a point to break my spirt every day. I would have told someone had i not been so alone. So f*****g alone. 

I'm crying, hiding under the stairs. When i think of it now i wish i could tell myself not to cry, it doesn't make anything better. I was scared. So scared. I was scared of being hit yes, but i was more afraid of the "talks". The only way my father thought i would under stand was to tie me to a chair. He would then go on to scream in my face until his throat hurt and his voice cracked all while, shaking the chair while yelling in my face. Kicking it over was bad but its when he kicked me square in the chest, sending me flying. That was worst. I always felt the pain, it was my everyday life but it was the emotional toll that was to much. Thoughts of dying were now fantasy's. I would always imagine i would die then come back as someone happy, brave, strong, maybe even loved. At 11 i ran away. 

Struggling and suffering was most of my 11 years of life, but as i lived in that barn i was nothing but happy. I worked hard every day and finally a year later I got a job! Wait what? Job at 12? Yes, yes. You were looking at the town of Newtons new paper delivery girl! Paper girl Kiki, express delivery! My life was turning around.

I saved every piece if money i had. The day i got on that bus was the best day of my life. I like to think i wasn't living until that day. When i stepped on that bus i was nervous, looking over my shoulder for him but as the bus drove down the road, I took my first breath of my new life. As i watched the colors change out the window I thought to myself 'I am strong. I can do this. Save yourself, be your own hero Don't wait to be saved, save yourself'. 

Looking over i see Emily coming from the small kitchen to me with dangerously large shot glasses. 

"Where the hell did you get those?! Did you bring those from home?!" I looked at them with disgust. 

"What are you wearing?" Emily looked at me quizzically 

"My best outfit you like?" giving a little twirl with my excitement. 

"Yes..? Maybe just change the shoes" 

"oh no, no, no! These are my 'I'm here to break stuff shoes' i hove them" I said Excitedly "and look my jumpsuit has pockets!" I shoved my hands in my pockets, while giving a little twirl. 

she handed me the huge shot letting out a  halfheartedly "YAY" raising her glass motioning for me to cheers her. As I slammed the shot back I couldn't help but think 'oh ya i'm puking tonight'