Vulnerable

Chapter 16

I just laid on the bed, trying to grasp what happened today.

It's barely 10am and my day is already filled with so much drama.

I need a break from all this toxicity.

If Derrick already have a girlfriend, why did he kiss me?

Do I even mean anything to him?

Is there an ulterior motive of his kindness towards me?

I don't like the fact that my first kiss is all over the internet for the world to see.

It was supposed to be a special memory for my mind and Derrick's only.

I feel so exposed.

I wasn't naked or anything but I'm just 17 and people might judge me for being that intimate with a guy in public.

Am I giving this too much thought?

Does it really matter what people think?

But then, all I'm really worried about is, who that girl really is to Derrick.

I don't understand this slight pang in my heart at the idea of Derrick being intimate with her.

Why am I trying to convince myself that the girl was just bluffing, it has every likelihood to be true.

With the way Derrick held her in his arms the last time she hugged him and the way she was bold enough to claim he was her's.

I wonder what Derrick thinks of me.

Perhaps, I'm just a pity case. A girl he saved from the spiteful hands of her father.

His affections towards me, were probably derived from pity.

I don't mean much to him

Stupid to have thought I was more than just one of his charity cases.

Tomiwa was wrong, he doesn't have a thing for me.

"Tomiwa, you were wrong." I said almost in a whisper as I sucked in my breath.

"Wrong about what?" She asked

"Derrick doesn't have f - fee - lings for me"I said with a bit crack in my voice.

"Why would you say that"She asked as I heard her walk towards me and sat on the bed with me.

"That girl, he is in a relationship with that girl" I said

"Which girl?" She questioned

"The girl from school earlier" I replied

"Julian?" She asked

"I don't know her name"I said truthfully.

"I believe the girl who you totally gave the biggest burn by ignoring her dumb threats in class today, Julian?" Tomiwa said or more like asked.

"I didn't give anyone a burn. The girl who pushed me to the floor while I walked out of the class."I clarified.

"Yeah, Julian." Tomiwa stated.

"So, that's her name?" I asked

"Yes, don't give her too much thoughts though. She was Derrick's girlfriend way back before he got rich. I really don't know the full story but I heard she dumped him because he couldn't spend on her back when he was broke. When he finally came back from Malaysia, stinkingly rich. She has been throwing herself all over Derrick and claiming to be his girlfriend having stood by him during the down moments of his life" Tomiwa explained.

"They have a past then. He probably still has feelings for her..." I paused not wanting to spill too much of what's going through my mind about this whole situation.

I don't want her knowing, I have come to develop feelings for Derrick.

This whole feeling seems so new and foreign to me. I don't even understand it myself.

All I know is that I keep thinking about Derrick and craving more of his lips.

I would be super bummed if Julian and Derrick are actually a thing.

Tomiwa says I shouldn't give it too much of a thought but I can't help it.

I would need some clarity from Derrick. I have no idea how I would table the topic to him

I have never felt like this before

I feel like my heart is getting spiked at every thought of Julian and Derrick being together

And I'm feeling hurt that maybe all those electrifying and chilling feelings I got from every touch I got from Derrick was probably one-sided.

What was I even thinking

I should have never let him kiss me

Why did he kiss me if he already had someone else in his life.

Why does he spend so much in ensuring I'm safe and protected.

Why does he give me those looks that makes me feel he sees more than what I let show in the surface

Why does he treat me like I'm so important?

Is he actually a ritualist like my brother said the other day ?

Is he doing all this to make me healthy for whatever sacrifice he needs to do to renew his wealth?

Or is he just philanthropic

And takes care of me because he is just naturally caring and kind.

I'm overthinking again.

I should be thinking about my studies.

The exams are drawing close and I haven't studied for weeks now.

Oh my. I haven't even completed my payment for the WAEC registration.

I need to call my Mum.

She hasn't even tried to reach out to me since the whole incidence with my father and my beloved Andy.

Don't they care about me?

Why won't they reach out to me?

They don't even know Derrick and they are very much aware I have been with him

Andy doesn't even trust him, yet he hasn't even tried coming for me

That's very unlike him

Something is so wrong.

I should leave here

Suddenly I don't feel safe anymore

I barely know Derrick he could be a serial killer who sells body parts or something evil

Why am I even thinking this way?

Derrick has been nothing but kind and sweet to me

But I really need answers

Why aren't my Family reaching out to me?

Why is Derrick being nice to me?

Why did Derrick kiss me even when he was in a relationship with Julian?

Why does Derrick have such a mysterious public image and more importantly,

How did he really accumulate his wealth within a space of one year

What is his past?

And how in God's name do I discover the truth of all this question rummaging and taking over my every thoughts ?