Twilight Siege

29

The one and only thing that was important was finding Morgan and killing her. Work, dating, my hopes and fears—nothing else even registered. I would not answer him because what happened with Ronan changed absolutely nothing. Whether he agreed or not, it was irrelevant. It was in the past and it would stay that way. After several minutes, he understood that I was not going to cave and with a frustrated growl he put his fist through the wall. I didn’t even flinch. Instead, I stood and met his eyes. “I need some clothes and I need to check on my dog before we go to the hospital.” “That explains the growling in your apartment. Since when did you get a dog?” “Since he showed up.” Lochlan shook his head slowly before saying, “Come on, let’s get you home.” Walking into Ashley’s room and seeing her hooked up to a ventilator, machines beeping and her skin ashen, finally shattered the icy shell restraining my emotions. My shaky legs carried me to the chair beside her bed and I lowered myself with a shuttering sob. Heart-wrenching, guttural wails tore from my chest as I held her chilly, lifeless hand. I cried until my eyes were swollen and my throat felt like it was bleeding, inside and out. I begged and I pleaded, apologized, and swore—and none of it made any difference. When I finally sat back in the chair, feeling hollow and numb, Lochlan stepped inside and stood against the far wall. “Her parents have been contacted and are on their way.” I sat motionless, eyes frozen on my best friend. Her straight blond hair, usually golden and shining, was straw-like and ratted. Her chest rose and fell in even intervals as the machine pumped oxygen into her lungs, the swelling in her brain preventing her from performing even the most basic life functions. She would never again tell me about a new book she had read or ask me what was for dinner because she was a terrible cook and couldn’t make anything herself. No more rummaging through thrift shops or latenight texts, no more pedicures and movie nights. “Bec, there’s thirty more minutes in visiting hours.” Despite his normally commanding presence, I had forgotten Lochlan was there. “I’m staying here.” “I’ll come get you in thirty then.” Head tipped down, in a single long stride he left the room. I would spend every second I could with Ashley, only leaving if they forced me out. She was here because of me, and the least I could do was not leave her alone. On the other side of the bed from where I sat the air shimmered with magic as a man materialized. Merlin stood opposite me, his features wrought with concern. Each time I saw him he looked exactly the same, whether it was as a vendor in a Belfast market twenty years ago, or a patron in the museum on my first day of work a month ago. White-blond hair neatly styled and sharp ice blue eyes softened by a few wrinkles in the corners. He looked sophisticated and worldly, but at that moment he also wore compassion and grief. Our eyes held each other for a long pregnant moment, long enough to further thaw my ravaged emotions. I had thought I would have nothing to say to this man who had set the events in motion that led me to the absolute lowest point in my life. However, seeing him stand before me, I had questions that needed to be asked. “Why have you done this? Why me?” My voice was no more than a whisper. “I spent years in that market, watching and interacting, knowing I had to find just the right child. Someone who was receptive to the magic, someone who lived far away where Morgan would not find them. When you approached my booth and were drawn instantly to the necklace, I knew you were the one.” “Did you know it would make me Fae?” “I wasn’t entirely sure, but I had my suspicions.” “Did you think about the other impacts on my life, the effect it would have on my loved ones?” “Nothing I could say or do will ever ease the burden of what I have forced upon you. There are some of us who bear a disproportionate degree of hardship in life, whether owed to circumstances of our birth or a course of events during our lifetime. There is never a reason adequate enough to justify our struggles sufficiently to ease the burden. The only balm that will help you is that which comes from the acceptance of your circumstances. Once you let go of how you got to your current situation and look toward how you can improve your future station, then you will be enlightened in a way that is truly empowering. “When I discovered what Morgan had planned and realized that I alone would be unable to stop her, I knew that whoever was appointed to the task would bear a great weight upon their shoulders. That consideration was an important factor in my selection process. You possess the strength and constitution required to endure the necessary loss and strife that accompanies any great task.” “You may say that, but I feel like I’m being crushed under the weight of it all.” “That pressure and adversity is precisely what will mold you into the spectacular diamond you will one day become.” “You say I’ll become a diamond, what exactly does that mean? Lochlan said what you’ve done, combining dark and light powers, is impossible and my powers are not like any he’s seen.” “What I accomplished was not easy, few are alive that could have even attempted it.” “That’s what I hear, that you are exceptionally powerful. And yet for some reason you need my help. You have this task you want me to perform, and I have accepted the burden more or less without question, but now I have one request. Try to heal my friend. I’ll continue to fight against Morgan, learn my mystery powers and continue to walk this new path that you have dictated for me, but I need to know that everything possible was done to save her. If you’re so powerful and you recognize all that I’m sacrificing for you, you will do this one thing for me.” My words grew in strength as my convictions solidified. I kept my eyes glued to him as I stood. “Something so great cannot be done without a cost.” His voice dropped lower in warning. “What would be worse than death? I’m pretty sure that’s the worst-case scenario here so whatever it is you’re considering, do it. I’ll do whatever you want me to do, just please help her,” I urged insistently.