That Autumn

My Destiny

After the Reunion was over, everyone returned to their homes. Meanwhile, Shin Woo and I were at the bookstore which was right next to the cafe. We just came to have a look and maybe if there's something Shin Woo likes, I'll buy one for him.

"Mom!" I was looking through a fashion magazine when Shin Woo came up to me. He looks bored. "I prefer New York rather than this place. How long are we going to have to hang around like this?"

"Oh, wait a minute." I reached into my handbag to get my cell phone. Roam around. Shin Woo is not wrong. In the last few days, I made him have to hang around with me without a clear purpose. It's not that I came here aimlessly. I have it, I just don't know where to go when all the plans I made long ago fell apart just because one person didn't pick up their cell phone. "I'll try to call your Hyung again."

Good grief! My cell phone is not there! Where did I leave it? I remember holding it in the cafe when I saved my friends' cell phone numbers. Did I leave it there?

"Is there something wrong?" Shin Woo tiptoes to go see the contents of my bag.

"My phone." I gave up looking for him because I was sure I had left it. "I thought I left it in that cafe."

"Good. You forgot your phone." Shin Woo staggered towards the exit of the bookstore. "Let's go! We need to get it back!"

I followed him. Even the kid knew what to do, while I just panicked on my spot.

"I am really sorry, Shin Woo-ah!" I looked down because I felt guilty.

"I don't know what Mom would be without me." He took my hand, then looked up and laughed cheerfully. "So, I'll never leave you."

"I'll never leave you either." Then we walked to the cafe swinging our intertwined hands.

"I want ice cream again." We had just entered the cafe again when Shin Woo pointed to the large poster of ice cream he had eaten earlier.

"No, you're eating ice cream too much today." In fact, I could not bear to refuse his request. It is just..

"Why don't you ask dad first?"

"No.. It's not like that." I think Shin Woo misunderstood why I don't want to turn him back on ice cream anymore.

"Ask dad! Ask dad!" Shin Woo shakes my hand pleadingly.

"I'll buy you ice cream." I was surprised to hear a voice that appeared suddenly from behind me.

I turned around and saw her standing right behind me and Shin Woo. "Shin Ah-ya..."

"Noona!" Shin Woo cheered happily as he ran to hug Shin Ah.

Ck, Noona? If only Shin Woo knew who he called Noona.

"I’m sorry.." Shin Ah looked at me sadly as if something was making him so sad. Is he not happy to meet me? "I came late."

Aah.. She came for the reunion. What I think? She couldn't have come to see me. She's engaged. "The others are gone long ago. Did you see the time wrong?"

"No.. I know the time. I'm the one who arranged this event." Shin Ah looked around at the empty place. "That must have been so much fun."

"Of course. Only you didn't come." I pulled Shin Woo back to me. "Then why are you late?"

"Profession." The answer is short. She then looked down at Shin Woo. It was clear that she was more enthusiastic about meeting Shin Woo than me. "Let’s go Shin Woo-ah! We eat ice cream."

"You don't have to..." I haven't finished talking, but Shin Ah has already brought Shin Woo to sit at one of the tables for four people. I was forced to follow them and sit there too. "He had already eaten ice cream earlier. You don't need to buy it for him again."

Shin Ah didn't heed my words. She called the waiter to order the ice cream that she mentioned earlier.

When the maid came, I remembered my cell phone that was left behind and asked her. Lucky they kept my phone. After Shin Ah finished ordering, she came back to give me my phone.

"It's not too late for a chat, right?" Shin Ah asked a moment later. As if she just realized I was there because she had only been talking to Shin Woo since we sat there.

Is there anything else she wants to talk to me about?

Actually.. I also want to spend more time with her. But things have changed. We can't be like we used to be.

"There are many things I want to know about you," she continued. "Like.. Where have you been all this time, are you living well, and.. There's one thing that's most important. Maybe I'll ask at another time."

"I live in Sangju," I answered. "Life in Seoul is too expensive. So I moved to a place where the cost of living is not too high."

I'm not going to tell the whole thing in detail because I don't think it really matters. In the past, Shin Woo and I lived in Sangju for a few years and then we moved to New York.

Shin Ah looks like she's about to ask something. She glanced at Shin Woo and looked doubtful. "Tomorrow.. Do you have time? Maybe we can go out for a while. When Shin Woo is at school, how about?"

"Eh?" I was a little surprised to hear that from her. She wants to ask me to meet her again? Just the two of us?

"I'm not going to school." Shin Woo said, who had been listening to our conversation while eating his ice cream.

"You don't go to school?" Shin Ah frowned. "Really?"

"I haven't had time to register it yet." I answered as is.

"For his age, it's too late to enroll him in school." Shin Ah clenched her fists as she spoke. "Where do you guys live? I'll pick you and Shin Woo up tomorrow. I'll accompany him to register for school."

"We live in the sauna," Shin Woo answered. And that answer was the last thing I wanted Shin Ah to hear.

"You guys live in the sauna?" Shin Ah raised her voice. She looked at me like she was blaming me. After that, she turned to Shin Woo. "Your dad let you stay there?"

Shin Woo nodded then laughed. "Fortunately."

"s**t! I really want to swear." Shin Ah clenched her fist harder. "Actually, what kind of man did you marry?"

"It's not what you think." I tried to explain, but what's the point? Shin Ah and I have had our own lives.

"My dad is not a man," Shin Woo helps explain.

"Shin Woo-ah!" I warned Shin Woo not to meddle in adult talk.

"Then, from today onwards you must stay with me!" Shin Ah glared at me.

"You don't have to do that." I rolled my eyes at Shin Ah's overreaction. She did it because of Shin Woo, not because of me. I know how to place myself well enough.

"I already told you that I will make amends for my past mistakes." It was clear that Shin Ah would not accept rejection. She's quite stubborn. "I won't let you and Shin Woo be abandoned like this. At least until your husband.. I mean your wife is able to provide a proper place for you. Or.. As long as Shin Woo gets the best, I don't mind if that person also stays at my place. You don't have to be shy. I have plenty of room. And I'm rarely home."

"Of course we'll bring my dad." I was just about to explain to Shin Ah that she misunderstood when Shin Woo spoke again and made things worse. "For my mom, dad was everything."

"Shin Woo-ah! That was impolite!" I warned him a second time. "Don't disturb when adults are talking."

"But I don't want to sleep in the sauna again." Shin Woo is becoming more talkative today. He changes like this after talking to Min Ji. That eater must have taught my son something I didn't know. "Can we stay in Noona's home tonight? Please?"

"You heard right?" Shin Ah feels she has the upper hand when Shin Woo is more on her side. "Shin Woo agrees. Now, your turn."

"Shin Woo-ah, we'll stay in the hotel for a while." I glared at Shin Woo. Hope the kid doesn't say anything else after this.

"But dad didn't let us." And my wish didn't come true because Shin Woo said even worse things for Shin Ah to know.

"It was yesterday!" I raised my voice as I continued to glare at him. "Today, dad will let us stay in the hotel."

"Anna-ya!" Shin Ah interrupts. "Don't be mad at him."

"I'm not mad at him!" I'm just annoyed that Shin Woo can't keep his mouth shut.

"If you're not sure, you can try asking your wife. Maybe I can help you talk to her." Shin Ah suggested.

Since she didn't understand the real situation, it was easy for her to talk like that. But not. It's not that easy for me.

***

Seoul, fall 2008

Even though it was Da Mi who made the loudest voice when she decided not to sleep, she was the one who gave up first. She collapsed within seconds of hitting the bed. The second was Na Ra. She said she couldn't take it anymore and decided to sleep. And lastly, I don't know who fell asleep first, me or Shin Ah. Maybe it's me because I feel I can't help but feel sleepy.

Seven in the morning. I woke up to hear the sound of a car below. At that time, I found Shin Ah was looking at me.

"Are you awake?" I whispered softly because I didn't want to wake Da Mi and Na Ra.

"How about you?" She asked back. "Why haven't you slept yet? Isn't this place uncomfortable?"

I nodded, then sat down. "I heard a car. I thought you had a visitor."

"This early?" Shin Ah got up and took off the blanket. She listened intently to the voice. After thinking for a moment, she laughed. "Could be an invite for Da Mi."

She then stood up and went to the balcony to look downstairs. I followed her. From up here, you can see Da Mi's Rolls Royce parked on the side of the road. Shin Ah is right. It was Da Mi's invitation.

"Da Mi can't dodge anymore now. Like it or not, she still has to go to her grandfather's place." Shin Ah couldn't stop laughing. Isn't it still too early? Does she always look this fresh every time she wakes up?

"We'd better wake her up." My suggestion.

"Sure. Must!" Shin Ah ran into her room with a happy face. Arriving in the room, she jumped straight onto the bed, making Da Mi startled and immediately sat up. Meanwhile, Na Ra, who was previously still asleep, woke up hearing the commotion around her.

"What is this!" Da Mi screams in protest while kicking Shin Ah. "I was just about to sleep!"

"There!" Shin Ah pointed outside with a stifled laugh. "You've been picked up."

"What?" Not lost in shock yet, Da Mi took her cellphone to check the time but instead found a short message. She read it with a consciousness that had not fully returned, then ruffled her hair in frustration. "Why don't they just let me go this time?"

"What happened?" Na Ra's turn to ask.

Shin Ah took Da Mi's cellphone from the girl's hand then laughed after reading the message that was still open. "She'll be put in a boarding school if she doesn't want to go to her grandfather's place."

"Oh.. I thought what it was." Na Ra responded casually, then went back to sleep.

"There's nothing wrong with going to your grandfather's place once in a while." I came to try and comfort her. "Unless you prefer boarding school."

"I prefer boarding school to Harabeoji!" Da Mi responded quickly. "But I don't want to go to boarding school."

"That's it. Now, you go to your grandfather's house." I continued. If the problem is just playing Baduk, even though I don't know what Baduk is, it's just a game. "Not a big problem."

"You don't understand Anna-ya! You don't know those old man!" Da Mi stood up to look at the car that was waiting for her outside. "I will die at a young age if I play Baduk with him."

"You're right, it's no big deal." Shin Ah chimed in. Judging from how she and Na Ra responded to Da Mi, I think Da Mi was overreacting.

"Na Ra-ya!" Da Mi rushed over and knelt beside Na Ra. She opened Na Ra's blanket forcibly then shook the girl's shoulder. "Please save me!"

"Eonnie!!" Na Ra pulled the blanket back.

"Damn it! Na Ra-ya!" Da Mi doesn't give up on waking up Na Ra. "Please save me Na Ra-ya! You should also come to Harabeoji's place with me."

"I don't want to accompany your grandfather to play Baduk." Na Ra flatly refused.

"I'll buy you a better laptop than Shin Ah's." Da Mi tries to negotiate and it seems Na Ra is becoming interested.

"Okay." Na Ra agrees quickly because Da Mi's offer is so tempting to her. "But once we get back from Hoejang-nim's place, I want my laptop already in my room!"

"Deal!" Da Mi confirmed with certainty.

"Are you two staying for breakfast?" Shin Ah joined the conversation after the deal was made.

"If I may..." Da Mi stared out the window in a huff. Just then, her cell phone vibrated and she was even more furious to see who was calling her. With a sad face, she continued his sentence. "I'd even love to have lunch and dinner here, Shin Ah-ya!"

Indeed, after that Da Mi and Na Ra didn't stay for breakfast. They've been picked up, and according to Da Mi, she'll be dragged away if she doesn't get out soon. She didn't even have time to wash her face before she left. It's not that she doesn't have time because the driver who picks her up is pressing her, but that time she spends whining because she still doesn't want to go to her grandfather's place. Even Na Ra had time to shower and dress neatly.

After the two of them left, Shin Ah took me down to the kitchen for breakfast. She promised to prepare something special for me.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Shin Ah asked me in English and it sounded funny because of her Korean accent. Makes me unable to hold back my laughter.

"Hmm... American breakfast." I proposed something easy for her.

"Americans?" Shin Ah thought with a stupid looking face. It seemed she didn't know what it was. "Why not Brazilian or Indian instead?"

I pushed it aside and took its place behind the cabinet to cook. "Let me cook."

"But I'm the host!" Shin Ah protested but didn't try to take her place back. "And I promised to prepare something special for you."

"Just sit there!" I pointed at the dining room with the tip of my chin as my hands were busy grabbing groceries. I took the bread and eggs from the storage cupboard, then opened the fridge to see if Shin Ah had sausage. Luckily there were some left.

Shin Ah obeys me and sits in the dining room. Not too far from the kitchen. She can still see me and we can still chat from where she is.

I put four slices of bread in the toaster, then I grilled the sausages and finally cooked the eggs. While waiting for my food to be cooked, I took two plates from the shelf.

"Do you cook often?" she asked.

"Of course." I nodded. I usually prepare my own food at home. Since childhood, I used to take care of myself because my dad had to go to work. Apart from cooking, I also do other housework. "But just something easy."

Not long after, my food was done. I arrange them on a plate. Just then, Jae Hoon's room opened and the man came out looking neat. He carried a large backpack on his back.

"What's this?" He immediately sat down to join Shin Ah in the dining room. "It smells great."

"Annyeonghaseo." When he saw me, I leaned over from behind the kitchen to greet him. "I'm Anna, Shin Ah's friend. I came to play."

"Eoh! You were the girl from yesterday!" He shouted as he remembered me. He then looked back at Shin Ah. "Shin Ah-ya! Why are you asking our guests to cook?"

"Does not matter." I spoke in defense of Shin Ah. I brought the two plates that I had prepared on the table. "I'll prepare another one for you, Oppa."

Jae Hoon looks at the plates that I put on the table with a frown. "No need. I've had breakfast."

Shin Ah looks at the breakfast I put in front of her with the exact same expression as Jae Hoon. "Do Americans usually eat burnt food?"

"It's not burnt!" I poked a piece of sausage with a fork and lifted it in front of Shin Ah's face. "It turned out to be like this because I baked it."

"Okay!" Shin Ah tried a mouthful, then laughed. "But it's burnt."

"It's not burnt!" I insisted. "It's called American breakfast. I usually eat something like this. It's not that great, but it doesn't taste bad. Because people usually make something quick for breakfast, not something delicious."

"You used to eat burnt food!" Shin Ah still teased me even though she was still eating. See! If it was burnt, she would not be able to continue eating it. She just made fun of me.

"By the way, where are Da Mi and Na Ra?" Jae Hoon stood up. He opened the fridge, took an apple and ate it standing up. "I heard their voices last night. Are they not awake yet?"

"They came home very early." Shin Ah answered while eating voraciously. "Oppa, where are you going so early? I thought you'd sleep until noon because yesterday you came home drunk."

"MT." His answer was short because his mouth was full. Looks like he's starving. Didn't he just say that he had breakfast?

"Oppa won't come home tonight?" Shin Ah asked again, which was answered with a nod by his oppa.

"You can invite Anna to stay with you." Jae Hoon's suggestion. He swallowed the whole apple before speaking to me. "You don't mind, do you, Anna-ya?"

"No?" If I stay for one more night, it's just me and Shin Ah at home. Da Mi and Na Ra obviously wouldn't be coming as they went to Da Mi's grandfather's house.

Actually, I would have loved to have stayed for another night. Just being alone with her at home scares me a little. I'm not afraid of Shin Ah. What I'm afraid of is what if some bad guy walks in while we're just two teenage girls. When Shin Ah’s brother came home last night, I even thought he was a thief because there was no sign of him coming in. There was no sound of keys, nor was there any footsteps. I don't know if the crime rate in Seoul is so low that they take home security for granted or just Shin Ah being careless.

Unlike my house. Since dad realized that he would often leave his daughter alone at home, he installed a special security system. There was also Harry, a Pittbull that dad had taken care of since the dog was a few weeks old. Dad deliberately made his cage in front of the house to scare the bad guys. Usually, if dad gets a nightly assignment, I'll take him in. Maybe it would be better if I took Shin Ah to my house instead. But.. Will dad allow it? I've never invited my friends over to my house. And Shin Ah might feel awkward with my dad.

"You have to accompany her, Anna-ya!" Jae Hoon continued and laughed. "Indeed, she is not a timid girl, but Shin Ah will start talking to herself if she is lonely."

"Oppa! I'm not like that!" Shin Ah slammed her chopsticks while glaring at Jae Hoon. "Besides, Anna doesn't need to stay overnight. Eomma, Appa will come this afternoon. I won't be alone in the house."

"Eomma, Appa will come?" Jae Hoon took the juice then gulped straight from the bottle. "Why don't I know it?"

"They already told you a few days ago. You senile Oppa!" Shin Ah grumbled while continuing to eat. It seems odd to see people eating bread with chopsticks.