That Autumn

First Kiss

"Give me your phone!" Shin Ah holds her hand waiting for me to put my phone on it. "Let me ask your wife about it."

"Shin Ah-ya!" I must immediately clear up the misunderstanding that Shin Woo caused. It wasn't as easy as she thought. How do I ask if that person doesn't exist at all? "I don't have a wife. Neither does a husband. I'm not married."

Shin Ah looked at me confused. Her hand is still outstretched towards me.

"It's just a joke." Shin Woo laughed and helped me clarify. "You can't call my dad when it's just a joke."

"Jokes?" Shin Ah is now looking at me and Shin Woo alternately. Still with a confused face. "What does it mean?"

"Dad, it's a pet name for Wang's wallet," Shin Woo continued. "All of my friends have a mom and dad. But I only have a mom. One of my friends told me that their mom gave them love while dad gave us money. So, I called my mom's wallet as dad because it give money for us."

Actually, Shin Woo doesn't need to explain that far. He only makes us look even more pathetic in Shin Ah's eyes.

"Asking dad means that mom needs to check her money in her wallet before buying something." Shin Woo continued his explanation.

"Ah.. I see." Shin Ah nodded. Then her eyes fell on the ring on my ring finger. "Then you're engaged?"

I put my palm to close the ring. It's embarrassing for me to be caught twice by her wearing this thing. And just as he was engaged, so he forgot about it?

"Ah.. The ring!" She finally remembered. You stupid Shin Ah!

Shin Ah took something from inside her collar. A necklace with the same ring pendant as the one I'm currently wearing. Because that was it’s couple. She still has it. What does it mean...

"I still have it." Shin Ah spoke again. "Hope one day you'll come back."

"Why do you have my mom's ring? Are you my dad?" Shin Woo asked bluntly.

"Ish! This kid!" I pushed Shin Woo's head. After that, I went back to talking to Shin Ah. "I heard you were engaged."

"That's not a big deal." She put the necklace back on his shirt. "I'll cancel it if you and Shin Woo want to live with me."

Just like that? Does she think this is just a game? Ck, she hasn't grown up at all. She got engaged, then called it off like it was an easy thing.

"For ten years I have never been close to anyone or in a serious relationship. Appa was worried and set me up with one of the sons of someone that he knew." Obviously. "Since you're back now, not married, or engaged, I feel there's no need to continue the engagement."

Yeah, her words just gave me a headache. "But I never said I would come back to you."

"I'm not forcing you to come back to me either." She looked at me expectantly. "At least.. For this time.. Let me take responsibility for you and Shin Woo."

"So, are you my dad?" Shin Woo asked again. Now, by looking at Shin Ah sharply, "Why do you have to be responsible for us?"

"Shin Woo-ah!" For the umpteenth time, I warned the boy. "Can you keep silent for a moment? We are talking here."

"Stay in my house. Let me make amends to you guys. I beg of you." Shin Ah begged even more. "For Shin Woo's sake."

For Shin Woo's sake. If I think about Shin Woo, maybe it would be better for him. All this time, Shin Woo only had me. He doesn't know the rest of his family. And more importantly, Shin Woo has the right to know Shin Ah or otherwise.

"For me?" Shin Woo stood up. He looked at me and Shin Ah alternately. He seemed angry. "Mom, I need to know. Is she my dad or not?"

"That's right." Shin Ah answered. "I'm your dad, Shin Woo-ah!"

***

Seoul, fall 2008

I can not sleep. What if Shin Ah turned away from me because she met dad yesterday? Not blaming dad. I don't blame dad one bit because it wasn't his fault. I'm just afraid that Shin Ah will feel tired and won't want to see me again. Judging from how pale her face was when she came home last night, it seemed that she had given up. Even if she didn't stay away from me, I don't think she would ever want to come home again for fear of dad.

Maybe it's also good for Shin Ah to back off when our relationship is still in a matter of days. I can't imagine what it would be like if she left me when I already liked her so much. Now it's okay, right?

But still. I felt like crying. What if it's true? What if Shin Ah really left me after that? She didn't even call or text me. Did her phone battery run out?

"Anna!" I was wearing my uniform when dad called me. His voice came from the kitchen. "Breakfast!"

"Wait a minute!" I hastily put on my tie, and finally my blazer and then just came out of the room.

When I arrived in the dining room, my dad was waiting impatiently for me. He hasn't eaten his breakfast yet. He's waiting for me.

"Hurry! You need to eat in a hurry, so I can drive you to school," said dad. He was ready to go to work. "I'm late."

"You don't need to if you are in a hurry. I can go on my own." Since moving to Seoul, dad has always tried to take the time to take me to school. Things he never did back in Los Angeles.

"Are you sure?" Dad looked at his watch.

"Hmm.." I nodded. "I'm not a baby, dad."

"Okay!" He grabbed two pieces of bread on his plate and took them away. "Don't forget to lock the door, and don't go anywhere tonight. I'll be home early."

"Drive carefully!" I screamed because dad was probably outside the door.

Well, I guess I'm not going anywhere tonight either. Usually I go to Shin Ah's house to study after school. But after what happened last night, I'm not sure.

I continued to eat leisurely. It's not seven in the morning. My school is not too far away. Only fifteen minutes by bus. So I still have plenty of time.

Bell rings. Who came so early? Did dad come back because he forgot something?

I quickly stood up to open the door. I no longer think that it's dad. If it was dad, he'd come straight in instead of ringing the bell.

"Shin Ah-ya.." I was a little surprised when I saw her face when I opened the door. What is she doing so early at my house?

"Morning.. Anna-ya!" She was still nervous and pale. Even paler than last night. Is she sick? Or.. She became this pale because she thought it was dad who opened the door.

"What are you doing here?"

"That.. um..." She looked back with a frightened expression. "May I come in first?"

"Sure!" I opened the door wider for her. After she came in, I closed the door. "Why is your face like that? Is someone chasing you?"

"I was scared to death." The pale color on her face slowly disappeared as soon as she entered my house. "Your dog! It was really really big!"

"Harry?" She was scared because of Harry? Indeed, the dog is very big now. If I didn't know him, I'd be scared too. "His name is Harry. Even though he looks terrible, he's not evil."

"Where's Abeonim?" Shin Ah glanced around at my house. "Yesterday I didn't get to greet him properly because I was surprised to see Heli."

"Harry." I corrected her, then laughed. So she was scared because of Harry, not her dad. I feel stupid for worrying about something unnecessarily. And even though she was so scared because of Harry, she still wanted to go again. Shin Ah is indeed something. "Dad just went to work."

"Aah.." She looked disappointed.

"Maybe next time. I'll take you to see my dad." My comfort. "By the way, what brings you here so early?"

"Pick you up."

"Pick me up?"

She nodded. "We go to school together."

"You should have told me before you came here."

"I wanted to surprise you." She scratched her head with an embarrassed expression. "But I was the first one to be surprised when I saw Harry standing guard at the door. He didn't do anything. Just look at me. And it made me want to pee."

"Okay!" I can't help but laugh at how she is now. "So... you still want to go to school? Because Harry is still outside."

"That is true!" Shin Ah just realized it.

"It's okay! I will protect you!" I patted her shoulder. "Wait here a moment! I'll take my bag first."

I ran into my room to get my bag. Once I got it, I went back to Shin Ah.

"Leta go!" I grabbed her hand and led her out. "I won't let Harry hurt you one bit."

Shin Ah snorted. "I want to protect you too!"

"Oh!" I just laughed. We passed Harry safely. Like I said, Harry isn't evil. He's just ugly. "By the way, isn't it too soon for school?"

"Is it too early?" Shin Ah let go of my hand then moved to the outside of the road before holding my other hand again. She smiled broadly, making a curved line with her lips. "I didn't notice."

"Actually you don't need to pick me up. Our houses are not in the same direction. That would be troublesome for you." Despite the fact that I'm so glad she came.

"It can't be helped. I can't wait to see you."

"What the!" I hit her arm lightly. "Aren't you looking forward to meeting Harry?"

"Ck, really! That thing is really terrible!" Shin Ah shuddered while imagining Harry. "Why do you keep one like that when there are so many cute dogs?"

"If you're scared, why did you come again?" My tease.

"I told you I couldn't wait to meet you." Shin Ah stopped in her tracks. We arrived at the bus stop. There was no one waiting but us. It's still too early. "My fear of Harry is nothing compared to my longing for you."

"We just met last night. And we see each other at school every day." My stomach felt ticklish to hear her words.

"Don't you miss me?"

I shook my head. Thinking about her doesn't count as longing, right? "Not a bit."

"Aish! How cruel!" Shin Ah scowled.

The bus finally came. I pulled her hand to get on the bus. "Lets go!"

Because it was still very early, the bus that we took was not so crowded. There were several students from other schools sitting in the front. There was also a mother and child on the other side of the bus. I asked Shin Ah to sit in the back row in the corner. Shin Ah sat by the window while I was next to her.

"Don't you think we left too early?" Shin Ah asked when the bus was running again. I think she only realized it after seeing the streets and buses that were still deserted.

"You just realized, huh?" I giggled. "I already said that."

"By the way, Anna-ya! Do you have a Korean name?" She asked another question.

Of course, I have a Korean name, "Wang Ji Woo. That's my Korean name."

"Eoh! Ji Woo-ah!" She said my name with a smile.

"YA!" I pinched her waist. "Don't call me that! Sounds weird!"

"But I prefer to call you Ji Woo-ah!" Shin Ah stuck out her tongue to mock me.

"What about you? Do you have an English name?"

She shook her head with a mischievous smile. "I only have Lee Shin Ah as my name. After all, why would I have something like that?"

"Then may I give you an English name?" We will see! I will reply.

"Sure." She agreed innocently. But not with the sequel. "If you give me a name like My Love, Beauty, I Love You, or something like that, I'd be very happy for you to call me by my English name, Ji Woo-ah!"

She hasn't stopped calling me by that name. Why was I so stupid to tell her? "But I prefer to call you Dummy!"

"Hey!" She wasn't angry, she was laughing. "Why Dummy?"

"Because you called me Ji Woo," I said curtly.

"That's your name," she reasoned. Then his mischievous face reappeared. "Unless you think Ji Woo sounds like Dummy. That's why you gave me that name to repay me."

"Just don't call me by that name!" I turned my face away to show that I was annoyed.

"Ji Woo-ah!" She poked my arm. I pretended not to hear. I felt her come closer and whisper something in my ear. "I'll kiss you if you don't answer."

She wouldn't dare. Many people here.

"Or.. Maybe I'll call you 'Ji Woo-ah' loudly at school later." She continued.

"YA!" I turned and..

I don't know if she's still there. Just as I turned to look at her, I was a little surprised to be directly facing her face. And it's very close. So close, I accidentally touched his lips. With my lips.

Unlucky! It was my first kiss. Why did it happen like that?

I nervously pushed her away. Then I..

PLAKK

I slap her face.

I don't know why I should do that. I was just shocked and also nervous.

"Wow?" She was holding the place I slapped earlier with a hurt expression. "You kissed me, why did I get slapped instead?"

That's right. Because of that, I feel guilty. "Sorry."

"Aah.. It hurts." She lowered her hand. Now I can see a red trace in the shape of my hand sticking to her left cheek. Looks like I hit her too hard.

"Oh my god!" I touched the bruise on her face. I really feel guilty for hurting her like that. "What should I do?"

"Is it … is it ..." She held her face again. "Is it left a mark?"

I nodded. "I’m sorry Shin Ah-ya!"

"Aish! This is embarrassing!"

"I’m sorry." I looked down. "It was an accident."

"So which one did you do on purpose?" Shin Ah approached. When I lifted my head, I found Shin Ah's mischievous smile again. "The kiss?"

"That.. No.. It’s not like that!" I could feel my face heat up. Maybe now it's redder than the imprint of my hand on Shin Ah's face.

"Since you kissed me first, I will forgive you this time." Shin Ah smiled. She stroked the bruises on her face as if they were something precious.

I looked around. No one noticed us. They didn't seem to hear us either. Maybe because the distance is too far.

"But.." Shin Ah watched her reflection through the mirror in the bus window. "What should I do with this? Looks like it won't go away any time soon. What if the other kids see it?"

"I'm really sorry, Shin Ah-ya!" At a time like this, isn't there anything else I can do but apologize? I need to do something with those bruises so Shin Ah won't be embarrassed. But what? "What.. Should we just play truant?"

"That is Ji Woo's irresponsible suggestion!" Shin Ah laughed in response. "It's just a small matter. There's no need to play truant just because of this."

Shin Ah's words made me feel even more embarrassed. I hope she doesn't judge me wrong because I asked her to play truant. I've never been absent in my life either.

"Eoh! We're here." Shin Ah exclaimed when the bus we were riding stopped at the bus stop near the school.

We got off before the bus started again. I lead the way while guiding Shin Ah. Making Shin Ah chuckle. Later I realized that what I had just slapped was her face, not breaking her leg. Why am I even guiding her like an old grandmother?

"Maybe you can cover it up like this." I lowered some of my hair to cover one side of my face. We were walking towards the school gate, which was only a few meters away.

"Is that so?" Shin Ah imitated what I did. "Doesn't it look weird?"

"Hmm.." I watched her carefully. It does look weird. But wouldn't it be better than having her bruises visible to people? "You look perfect!"

"Do not lie!" Shin Ah straightened her hair like before. "That's ridiculous."

"No! No! You look beautiful." I styled her hair so that it covered her face again. I'm not lying to say that she looks beautiful. She is indeed beautiful as long as her face is visible, not covered.

"Really? Wouldn't this one be better then?" She lowered the other side of her hair. Making only a little of her forehead and nose visible.

"May also." Once again. Better than one school seeing handprints on her face.

"This way, I can infiltrate your class during class time and no one notices." She continued.

DIIIN...

A car pulled up on the side of the road right in front of us. It's Da Mi's car. Shin Ah and I stopped our steps to take a look. Not any longer, the passenger door opened and Na Ra came out, followed by Da Mi behind her.

"Eonnie!" Na Ra greeted me while walking closer to me. "You came early today."

"Hi!" I waved to both of them.

"Woah! You're with someone. Who is this? Sadako?" Da Mi joined us. She watched Shin Ah carefully. "But.. She feels familiar."

"Familiar your ass!" Shin Ah hit Da Mi's head.

"Shin Ah?" Da Mi gets closer to Shin Ah and opens the girl's hair curtain using her two index fingers. "Oh my! What happened to your face?"

Interested, Na Ra also saw Shin Ah's face. "Looks like a slap."

"Ooh, honey!" Da Mi cupped Shin Ah's face carefully. "Tell me who did that to your pretty face! I'll teach him a lesson!"

Maybe I will teach her a lesson first by touching my Shin Ah. I think Shin Ah is right. We couldn't cover up our relationship any longer. Especially towards Da Mi. She should know to stop touching my Shin Ah carelessly.

"It's not a big deal." Shin Ah removed Da Mi's hand from her, then looked at me with a look that seemed to say "Don't get me wrong! She touched me, I didn't want to."

"Not a big deal what?" Now it's Na Ra's turn to touch my Shin Ah. She stroked the bruise. "This is called violence!"

"No!" Shin Ah moved away from Na Ra. "It was just an accident."

"What an accident!" Da Mi pulled Shin Ah's neck to hold it, then noticed Shin Ah's blushing cheeks. "Looks like you got hit hard."

"She did get hit hard. But it was just an accident." I can't hold the behavior of these two people any longer. So I went and separated them from Shin Ah. "And can you guys stop doing that?"

I can hear Shin Ah laughing behind my back. She must have felt proud because she had been surrounded by Da Mi and Na Ra.

"Do what?" Da Mi looked at me confused.

"Did Eonni see what happened?" Meanwhile, Na Ra is still curious.

"You started it. Of course you have to answer." Shin Ah whispered from behind. It was so quiet that neither Da Mi nor Na Ra could hear it.

I will definitely answer it. I've made a decision too. I will tell them about my relationship with Shin Ah right now so that they stop touching Shin Ah carelessly. What am I afraid of anyway? Isn't dad okay with it? And these two seem to be able to keep a secret.

"Why are you silent? What do you want us to stop doing?" Da Mi repeated her question impatiently.

"I want you to stop touching my girlfriend," I said quickly. It was so fast that Shin Ah choked on the back there.

Na Ra furrowed her brows while Da Mi poked her ear to check if there was any debris blocking her hearing.

"Your girlfriend?" After making sure that she heard correctly, Da Mi looked around as if she was looking for someone. Missing Shin Ah hidden behind my back. "Where?"

"Over here!" Shin Ah raised her hand.

"Where?" Da Mi searched even more carefully. Now she put her hand on her forehead to avoid the morning light, which was too bright, so she could see more clearly. She even looked up at the sky. The place where she thought Shin Ah was pointing at.

"Aish! This i***t!" Shin Ah snorted in annoyance.

"You two are dating?" Na Ra showed a shocked face. At least she understood earlier than the i***t Da Mi.

"You two?" Either Da Mi is trying to make fun of us or she really doesn't understand. "Who you two?"

"Me and Shin Ah. We're dating." I answered.

"You and Shin Ah are dating? Aah.." Da Mi nodded.

Just like that? It feels like something is missing.

"You and Shin Ah are dating?" Da Mi repeated in a louder voice. She looked even more shocked than Na Ra earlier. She looked at me and Shin Ah alternately. Realizing that her voice was too loud, she looked around and heaved a sigh of relief that there was no one else but us. Then she spoke in almost a whisper. "You guys are dating? I heard right?"

"Oh!" Shin Ah took a step forward, then grabbed my hand and lifted it to shoulder height. "Anna and I are dating."

"I see! So fellow women can also date." Da Mi nodded thoughtfully. Then she turned her gaze to Na Ra. "I want to try too! Na Ra-ya, let's date!"

"I do not want to!" Na Ra refused out loud. She opened her bag and took something out of it. A face mask. She gave it to Shin Ah. "Now tell me why Eonni's face is like that."

Shin Ah took the mask and put it on. "Ask Anna."

"Eonnie?" Na Ra's questioning gaze was fixed on me.

"Err.." I scratched my head, which didn't itch. "Actually I did it. But I didn't mean to. I was shocked and suddenly my hand flew to her face."

"You hit Shin Ah?" Da Mi squeezed her fists, looking at me savagely. What's this? She's really going to teach me a lesson about hitting Shin Ah? But I didn't mean to. "Why did you do it?"

"I told you I didn't mean to." I defended myself.

"She kissed me, and in shock she slapped me." Shin Ah helped defend me as well as told me the part I didn't want to share with those two. That's embarrassing.

"You guys..." Da Mi covered her mouth with both hands. "Kissed?"

"Eonni who was kissed, and Eonni who was slapped. What a pity." Na Ra laughed.

"Right!" Shin Ah stroked her reddened cheek while pouting. "What a pity."

"Don't be so gloomy!" Da Mi took Shin Ah and dragged her towards the school gate. "Tell me what a kiss feels like."

"YA! I told you not to do that to my Shin Ah! You can't touch her!" I feel frustrated that Da Mi can't stop touching Shin Ah even though I warned her. And look at those two. They don't care about me. They kept walking while laughing at something. I couldn't hear them anymore as they were getting further and further away.

"It turns out that Eonni is very jealous." Na Ra hooked her hand on my arm. "Come on! Let's go to class!"

I looked at Na Ra's hand, which was tied around my arm. Not only Da Mi, but also Na Ra. Their attitude did not change. Good to Shin Ah, also to me. Even though they know that I'm not normal. Shin Ah is not normal. Do they still want to be friends with me?

Ck, I feel stupid. So what have I been worried about? This is not a big problem. I just like Shin Ah. Dad's okay with that. My friends have no problem with that. It was such a relief. Even though Da Mi is still holding Shin Ah, even though they still look very close, there is something different. I still don't like seeing it, but I'm no longer afraid of losing Shin Ah. Shin Ah is mine. They know it.

"Let’s go!" I smiled at Na Ra. Together we walked towards the school gate. Following Shin Ah and Da Mi, who had already left.