Tragically Fated

Chapter 6

My thoughts were blown in the breezing air conditioned room. I cannot help but to remember the incident lately. The thought of it crumpled my face in excruciating pain.  Tears began to soak my eye but I abruptly wipe off of it. I cannot absorb the information have been tackled by our professor. It's just my consciousness are in the different dimension.

Men are really... giving you headaches.

 "For the upcoming examination, I will be sending you your pointers to your class Beadle.." our prof announced.

His furious, brooding eyes. His disheveled hair brushed by his finger at frustrations. The way my heart react in front of him. 

"Follow me, Jee. We need to talk"

"Follow me, Jee. We need to talk."

"Follow me, Jee. We need to talk."

The way he commanded me dominantly makes me want to submit without further ado. 

Why does the sudden feeling? Is this some kind of infatuation?

Reality came crashing down when I heard a baritone voice quibbling behind. I diverted my attention trying not to show my disapproval look. "What?"

It's Chad. A well-known football player. Nothing much of his affiliations. Not that I didn't see him in the field, having strenuous drill every dismissal.

I arched my brow in response. As long as possible, I don't want to socialize people around here. Less involvement, less mistakes.

"Do you mind having a lunch with me?" he mumbled in the midst of the discussion.

I'm trying to pay attention to what Mr. Abuelo been tackling in front and here's a guy trying to distract. "Transferee, right?" he continued.

"Uh.."

"I can be your first boy friend."

Did I just misinterpret between a boyfriend and a boy friend? Or was he intently conveying some other meaning about what he has said? 

I looked at his face. His cheeks began to redden as he put his hand in nape shyly. He stared at me waiting for my approval of his offer as if his life depended on it. I felt his slight nervousness that he might get rejected.

Not until our prof interrupted our little chit chats. "Yes, you two dear? What is the noise about?"

We, both plastered a panicked face. We become the center of attraction of the whole class and I hate it. I hate bad impressions. Not in this school. Not in this world. Not that I don't want to hear their judgments. As we gazed on Mr. Abuelo, our Science teacher, who is running out of patience on our response, I just bowed my head in surrender. Filled with shame. He didn't continue to ask as well and the interrupted discussion resumed.

That's how my first week in school was.

I packed my things and slid it in my bag. Like a usual high school student, I began to compose myself to walking distance of our home when I saw two silhouettes of people did not surpass my vision.

A broad shoulder of a boy in front of a woman locking her through his forearm behind the wall. They were so intimate as if didn't notice the surroundings behind them. As close as a faithful lover to his woman. I felt an acid streaming in my throat as I hinted the guy who is been with that girl. It's like tearing my heart into thousand pieces and burnt into ashes. Like a long lost woman that has been cheated by his man. My knees crumbled in just a snap, will tumble like a feather in the wind.

I may have the wrong decision in my life. I may have doubts in my choices, but this time, I know I was certain. I knew that this guy is the reason of the loud thump of my heart. That guy in the silhouette with his girl is the reason why my heart beats aggressively. He is the guy and the reason from the beginning I woke up in this world, my heart captivated him already.

Why was so unfair?

Why do I have to endure this feeling? Why do I feel this certain emotion in this body? It's hard to find out. 

Was this body felt that emotion only? Or was I really in love with him from the very first place?

I hope that it's the former one. I shouldn't have the attachment to anyone around here. 

I tried to remain my sanity. I composed myself and proceeded to my way without letting them know that I'm here. Without letting them know that this girl that has witnessed their disposition broken a fluttered heart because of them.

I have beaten my chest due to the insatiable pain I am carrying. I became numb in the punches I had. I didn't feel anything but a hurtful sting tremendously inflicted me as I sobbed in silence in the middle of the dim lights, underneath the stars and sky, beneath the shining moon manipulating the tides, beyond this fantasy world far away from my home...

.. there's a little yowl of sadness.

I decided not to go home with a puffy red eyes evident in my face. I go to near park around our village and chose to spend a lapse of time for a moment. I just want to unwind for the meantime, not minding that I have a burden responsibility to accomplish. Not minding the broken situation I am having right now.

Time passes by, still swinging lackadaisically in the rusty, dangling cradle in this park. It's just a simple view around here enough making my mind go in peace. The soundly creaking rust of cradle stopped when I noticed someone's presence in front of me. My heart hammered in nervousness. I felt a sudden relief when I realized that it is Liam.

"I thought I might just find you here," he introduced.

He began to sit on the vacant cradle. He looked at me intently as if he wanted to formulate a question of the reason of my sentiments here but he chose to be quiet. He raised his hand to wipe off my dried tears upon my cheeks, I let him did that then slightly closed my eyes making the most of every second of my time that I felt someone comforted me. That I felt loved. I felt warm home. I felt peace of mind for a moment.

Then I felt uncomfortable around him. "Uh.. Sorry,"

He let out a small smile. "You don't have to feel sorry, if you have a big problem, let out a good cry for a day then rise up again for the tomorrow comes," He sighed. "That's how I deal with it. That's how I live for most of my life." He said with a lot of emotion in his voice.

I froze for a moment, waiting for him to share his problems with me. I don't know how making his burden less but the only least the I could do is to listen to him. He needs an ear to voice out his anguish. He needs someone to outspoken his agony.

"I grew up with a messed-up family," he began to speak as I see the glittering liquid in his eyes he is trying to restrain.

"M-My mother died of Coronary Heart Disease 4 months ago, I was so broke that time. I was at the moment where I needed someone I could lean on to yet my father had an affair contrary to the knowledge of my mother. She died in peace. She never knew how cruel my father is... how stone-hearted he is without feeling any slight of remorse in his guilt,"

His vulnerability becoming evident. I saw Liam as a jolly person. He is the type of guy who you would love to get along with. I never knew he was carrying such heavy burden. It taught me that in this sordid life, you cannot tell whoever carry such struggles and challenges. Every one plastered a mask to hide the weighty challenges they are suffering with. Even the most happiest people carry a crucible heartache which he hides beyond the smile.

He snorted a scripted laugh. "Sorry for being dramatic,"

"Didn't you said that don't be sorry if you have this kind of problem? You've gotta be kidding me." I laughed too to lighten the mood of the atmosphere.

He just responded with a laugh and whisked his tears fallen on his angelic face.

In Liam's state, I understand him. There's something that is common with us. I also have a problem within my family. It's like fate playfully crossed our path for a certain purpose. It's like the destiny made us met with each other to strive this untangled knot we are trying to find a solution.

And that was our first encounter with each other.

I am thankful for this day that he is the first gift I've ever received from this day. He is my gift that I will ever treasured if someday I will be vanished in this world. 

He is the first gift that tragic fate given to me...