Tragically Fated

Chapter 8

To be madly in love with someone for a very long time without knowing by this certain person is tormentingly painful. The feeling that there's someone stopping you to reveal your feelings.  You cannot outspoken the strong feeling that is growing as every day you admire that person, growing and blooming until the expressive emotion you hide falling into two places:

It might form you or destroy you.  

In my perspective, being in love with a guy who I know is out of my league and because of that, I did everything to make him notice me. And I finally gave up and let my heart cry out because I changed everything just for him to love me.

It may lead you to something you have never been expected. After all, we have our own definition and perception of 'Love'. For me, Love is the most powerful thing in this world. If you felt love to someone, you could forgive, you could sacrifice, you could endure unfathomable pain... you could risk your life for love. If only the world filled with love, if only the world dominated with this thing, then the only tears that would shed to one's eyes is the overwhelming joy in their hearts. 

And that crazy little thing called love...

I have read the novel and already finished it in just a day. I wiped off the tears streaming down my cheeks.  I checked the wall clock and it is past 1:20 am. I silently slid the drawer to put the book inside trying not to  make a sound as Mark soundly sleeping down my bed. 

I could hear his weak snore. I bowed my head to rummage his quintessential Adonis-like face. Even with his eyes closed soundly sleeping, his thick eyebrow formed creased screaming with dominant hierarchy.  As I searched for his body, I can't help but to gulp hardly seeing his V-line abs down to his crouched under his boxers. 

I gulped twice once again.

Not yet satisfied with my view, I looked at his hard chest pumping slowly carpeted with a dash of tan skin blending with whitish-mocha color. Up to his sexy Adam's apple to his chin to his clenched jaw up to his pointed nose up to his dusky pair of orb eye. 

I gulped trice again.

Wondering why was I seeing his eyes during his sleeping not until I realized that he is awake. I heard him chuckle as he caught me worshipping his forbidden body. 

"Enjoying the view at night, hmm?" he teased.

I sardonically stare him, what a narcissism. Since I have humiliated so bad, I immediately covered myself with a blanket as if it will erase the shamefacedness  I have done will be vanish in a snap. I felt him snorted a laugh then began to continue his interrupted sleep. I wonder if he really sleeps.

And if he doesn't sleep, what was he doing all night long? Observing me? 

It chills my spine of the thoughts lingering in my mind. With a drained energy and depleted strength, I started to feel sleepy and gradually felt nothing but a deafening silence and darkness filled me in.

Sunday morning welcomed me with a warm sunlight touching my sensitive skin from the subtly opened silky blue curtain dancing in a breeze brought by the wind.  With a lukewarm blanket hugging my entire body, I gently removed it as I composed myself to find a pair of slippers to start a day.

My eyebrows met when I noticed a small square of color orange paper attached to the cup of coffee. There's a short note to it.

Strive the day with a warm coffee made with nothing but a LOVE. Sorry, Gab, for the behavior I've done. I can't make the day complete without talking with you. With a piece of this, hope you consider.

I'll be gone for a day. Take care.

-Sincerely, Mark

I can't help but to smile at his caring gesture. My face reddened as I read the note he made. My heart flutters at his simple things he is making. It's like it lit the fire igniting the emotions hidden at the bottom of my heart. It's like the feeling that I'm trying to hide unleashed ceaselessly.

It's like nothing can the destroy mood Mark made to me.

In the afternoon, piled of books were served on my table to review for the upcoming exam on Wednesday. I am determined to hook the "Gifted Program" Mr. Abuelo announced to us. I felt like there's something that encourages me to pass there.

I'll be reviewing for Earth and Life Sciences, Personal Development, and 21st Century Literature. The three consecutive subjects which contain a lot terminologies to be reviewed. I've made my reviewer to help me memorized all the information.

Three o' clock in the afternoon when I felt like giving up reviewing the two remaining subjects but I restrained myself and motivate that 'I can pass to the Gifted Program'.  

It was 9:00 in the evening when I have finished reviewing multitudinous words and terms. I stood up my bed feeling dizzy from trying to remember all the definitions. With my swirling vision and ready to fall, I cannot make up to to dinner and decided to sleep early without trying to go out of the room even a slightest second of this day.

I woke up in the morning with a heavy feeling inside my head. I immediately rushed to the bathroom to prepare in school. Already settled and done. I decided to leave the house early because I will try to take some information from grandma of the progress of my existence here. 

In other words, I will be going to police station to visit her. 

When I arrived at the exact location of the place, I was totally confused when I didn't see any fragments of a thing stating that there's a police station here. I was so sure. I am more certain that this is the place where I have visited her last time. I am assured of it than to retain all the information I've reviewed yesterday.

Then a stranger approaches me.

"You are seemed to be engrossed in that place, dear?" a female in her late 40s appeared behind me.

I looked at her. I inhaled deeply to formulate a question.

"I was wondering where is the police station that has been implanted here?" I asked.

Confusion has been evident on her face. "W-What do you mean police station? Yes, it's a police station you are looking for but it is already abandoned 45 years ago. Why are you interested?"

It's like the word collapsed with what have I heard. I tried to convince myself one more time rather than persuading her. "B-but I am certain that I visited this last month, and I know that it is not looking like an abandoned place like what am I seeing, like not what you are saying."

I tried not to sound like a desperate cave woman but in the end, disgust seen in her face as if she thought that I am weird. She slightly bowed her head as a sign of farewell. I followed her direction as I parted my hair with my five fingers, my heart hammered in panic, until she disappeared.

I still have classes to attend to and I needed to pass to the 'Gifted Program' so I have to go despite of the big confusion crept in my mind. 

When I entered the room and seated on my sit, Lily sits on the next chair next to me wearing an innocent jolly face. At least, her smile lessens the burden I am carrying. She's like an angel sent from above from me. 

I plastered a smile and gave him a faint nod.

I picked the book that I didn't finish reviewing last night to consume the free time making me productive. Lily noticed that I am so engrossed in what am I reading that she bugs me out.

"Why the sudden studying? The exam is a bit far yet." she asked as she raise her left eyebrow.

I don't know if its right to tell her that I am doing everything whether to do or die just to make it in that program. I guess I won't be having a risk if I'll inform her, besides she's my friend after all.

"Uh.." How should I say this? "I am persevering to qualify for the Gifted Program that Mr. Abuelo had told us, just making a try. Why?" I said without leaving my eye to the book.

She clapped her hand in gusto. "That's good to hear, I'm rooting for you! Aja!" and she raised her one forearm as she closed her fist then pump one bounce. I guess it's her sign language of cheering me. 

She diverted her attention to her cell phone, leaving me in peace. I am reading smoothly not until I heard something that really diverted my attention to that topic.

"Dude, Selena texted at group chat that she knew where does the test paper for the examinations hidden."

One of my classmates whispered to his friend but that's not enough for me not to hear that. It's like my entire senses shaken and not remained. It's like there's something coming up in my mind but I chose to disregard it.

No, Jee. You will not use dirty hands to bring home the bacon. You'll never cheat.

My consciousness says to be truth but my body says otherwise. I just found myself sneakily following them to the place where the test papers are hidden.

Like them, I also use the easy way by using trickery. 

Like them, I'm also a cheater.