poetry 2 · about choices
389 Words
To We Or Not To Be
TRAUMA - HEALING - RECOVERY
I suppose that this, is who I am, now.
Recovering from;
an abusive human,
the toxic environment,
my false reality,
a morbidly codependent relationship.
Much self-reflection has occurred,
my journey that has taught me a lot.
For instance, PTSD
comes in many, MANY,
shapes and forms.
P • assion [for literally anything, other than]
T • error [still, if what is to come, the 'what if's?!']
S • trength [much more than I ever realized I had]
D • esire [simply burning, alive, at the stake]
I believe that I am touched out, still.
Stay away, stay quiet, stay alive.
Be invisible, turn around, hide your face.
I can feel his hands reach me.
My skin begins crawling.
My mind goes crazy.
I cringe at the very thought,
the notion that you believed my one,
and only, purpose, was to serve you.
A woman serves her man.
She belongs to him.
Just the phrases,
themselves, on their own,
cause me physical illness.
Your certainty that you would never lose me,
that there was no way I would ever have
the courage, the strength, the spine, to leave.
The sickness that made you believe that
you could treat me any way you pleased.
Touch me how and when you wanted.
Told me where to go, what to do.
'I ain't ever gonna change for no one,
'specially not some broad, I'm a freebird, baby'
Yeah babe, you sure are, now.
Free as a bird, baby.
Problem for you is,
I'm also a bird.
That internal flame of mine,
that burned so often that
it actually bothered you,
the one you were entirely certain,
would engulf my mind,
my body, my soul - did ...
Unfortunately for you,
I am a Phoenix,
and
I WILL RISE,
from the ashes,
every
time
I
Die.
What Was Us
———————————————
The wolf
In sheep's clothing
High regard
To total disgust
Remorseful hatred
In zero to sixty
One minute
All of my burning passionate love
For you
Gone
Blown away
In the wind
The ashes
Of a so called
“us'
Never again
Will I fall prey
To anyone
Ever, again
Like I did
For you.
This is
The end
- Writer
