My reckless lover

chapter 4

I'm now here at my lonely room. Thoughts that I'll have my own family soon against my own will scares me.

I don't often show my fear to people, but I only have a few that can be counted by my fingers alone. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I'm sure I'll change my course. I've always believed that's it's our own actions that molds the path that we'll be walking.

Our future is in our own hands, we make our own path... only US.

Cliche, as it may sound, but people will tell you should do this, do that... Blah blah and so it continues.. And there are circumstances that you'll believe them, and doubt yourself, and if you ever reach this certain point of your life;keep in mind that at the end of the day: IT IS YOUR LIFE, OWN IT!

They will not share your regrets as they will just watch you be at your worst. Be you... Be unapologetically you!

I can't wait to meet my future husband, I will make him a good deal. I'm sure he's a good business man, and I'm a good... I don't know what good I am, but I know I'm good at something... I just can't point my finger on it.

I'm still in the middle of my thoughts when the door of my room opened. "My dearest daughter! How I missed you!" My mom in her very irritating voice flew inside my room without even knocking. "Mom, what did I tell you about knocking first?" I annoyingly said.

I stared at her face. I'm sure she did some changes in her appearance, her lips got bigger and her... Cheeks! Omg she looks like a skull!

"I just got home, and you're already as grumpy as you can ever be!" Here goes the drama! f**k, why can't I just breathe peacefully?? I pushed myself to sit and I laid my back on the headrest.

I took a very deep breathe. "Not that way, Mom... It's just I have my... boundaries" I tried so hard to find a not so harsh of a words that might hurt her sensitive ass.

" It's okay, darling! I have a lot of present for you! " She changed her mood real quick! I just scratched my head.

" I'll go see it later, thank you. " I gave her a lazy smile and covered myself with my blanket. "No, get up. We'll get your pretty blonde hair fix for your upcoming engagement." She pulled my blanket and that gave me no choice!

"I'll wait for you outside!" I watched as she walked outside my door with her super-short dress. I miss my mom, she's not the woman I learned to love when I was a kid. Money changed her so much.

It's sad, I know everyone wants money, but money is only good when it benefits you, not the other way around. My parents had become slaves... Of money.

I went to my bathroom and had a quick bath. I decided I'll wear my white-short today and pair it with a black loose shirt. Then, I reached for my white converse shoes at the top of my cabinets. I'm not a very organized type of girl, because I believe why do I need to organize things if I'll just scramble them again later if I won't find the thing that I'm looking for? I know, I make so much sense.

I dried my blonde hair which I hate so much. When I was a child, I do love it because I took it after my mom, but as the years passed by... I slowly learn to hate it as I do to my mom.

I stared at the mirror, my ocean-blue eyes... It's so beautiful, it's the only thing I admire to myself even though it resembles my dad's. I can say that I'm a pretty lady, my jawline emphasizes my face. My nose, it's not so big, not so small; just enough. I have a height of 5'8, and I'm more than thankful for it because if I've been taller I wouldn't fit in my car.

I just tied my hair in a tight ponytail leaving a few strands in front for my big forehead. I applied some powder and a very light lipstick. I just can't believe some girls gives so much of their time doing make-up! Well, in my case I don't have a talent for it that's why I hate it.

"Good morning, señorita" my yayay is as expected in the kitchen. She calls me señorita whenever I wake up late.

"Good morning, yay," I gave her a peck on her cheeks. "I wasn't even planning to go out of my room today only if my so good of a mother didn't forced herself in." I complained like a child. "She brought so much of paper bags for you!" She shake my shoulder like she's that excited. "They look so expensive too!" She whispered.

"I'll give them to you, if you'd like "

I saw the way her mood changes. She doesn't want me to give her things, not to mention expensive things. She kept quiet as she knows, I will really give her some of my mother's shopping bags for me.

"No, here eat some breakfast before you leave..." My mouth watered at the sight of the pancake glazed with caramel syrup just the way I love it. "Thank you, Mother! You're the best!" I call her mother when my mom isn't around, I remembered the last time she heard me call my yayay 'mother'... she threatened to fire her, only if I did not cry buckets that day, I'm sure I'll be just as lonely as cactus in a desert.

"You look so lovely today, Clarissa..." My yayay complimented me as she sips from her coffee.

I was about to eat a spoonful of my pancakes when I saw my mom red nose walking to the kitchen real fast. "Do not eat that piece of s**t, Clarissa!" She yelled and I only gave her a smirk as I take the spoon in my mouth and I closed my eyes as the flavors punched in.

"Oopps, too late, Mom." I shrugged my shoulder and sliced another.

"No one will marry a fat-ass kind of girl like you! Now give me that plate!" I stood up and brought the plate with me as she continue to go around the table trying to take my pancakes away.

"I don't care, I don't even wanna marry." I, again, ate another bite.

My yayay just watched me with a supportive eyes as I make my mother blood boils early in the morning.