Beyond the mountains

The beginning

As I set here in this class room trying to listen to my teacher blabbing on about some kind of assembly that was taking place in the gym for the senior class of 2015,

I couldn’t help but worry about what I was going to do about making sure my three young siblings was going to eat tonight.

I had saved back a couple of hundred dollars for my cap and gown, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to spend some of it so they can eat for the next few days.

I myself wasn’t worried about my next meal, my best friend Melissa, who I met the first day of kindergarten would make sure I ate with her or she would sneak food to us in the late evening after her family had ate dinner.

I really hate being in this situation all the time, why can’t I just have a normal life and just enjoy being a 17 year old teenager that’s about to graduate high school,..trying to figure out what college I was going to attend, instead of raising my three young siblings.

Finally,I was able to make it to the elementary school a little early today before the kids made it to their school bus.

I was going to walk them a few blocks into town and buy a few groceries and make it back to the house where we lived,that was about 14 miles out of town, usually we caught a ride with Mr porter, our neighbor as he was getting off work.

He was an older gentleman that worked at the local feed store.

He was always good to me growing up, I think he felt sorry for me but whatever the situation was,he never turned us down when we needed a ride.

I told the oldest of my younger siblings to help me with the two twins as I shopped for so groceries.

I could hide the groceries in the building out back in our yard,so my father (Freddy) and his drunken friends wouldn’t eat up what we had.

I had to buy a lot of canned foods and dry cereal, stuff to make sandwiches with that we could eat before it went bad. Anything to fill their belly’s.

A year ago I had thought about taking them to the child welfare in hopes, they would have a better life, but I didn’t want them placed in a home to get abused or separated.

I felt like I needed to protect them. A lot of people in this town are afraid of my father, he’s known for fighting and would retaliate on anyone who crosses him.

It’s just easy for people to turn their heads and mind their own business than to deal with my father and his wife, who is my mothers first cousin (Rachel) who came to my dad’s aide when my mother, (Tammy) had disappeared.

I was 6 years old and my brother Travis was a year old when she disappeared.

Rachel hated us from the start, she got pregnant with the twins, Taylor (girl) and Tyler (boy) they are now 7 and I’ve raised them from the day they brought them home from the hospital.

They are my half brother and sister but I love them so much that doesn’t make a difference to me.

I also have an older Brother(Mark) who got away, out on his own when mom first disappeared, he has done well for himself and he never looked back.

I also have an older sister(Jenny),who is living in the next town over. Her husband (Brian) won’t let her get involved because he fears dad, although he isn’t much better himself.

I’ve heard rumors through out the years of my mothers disappearance, some say she ran away from our father,and was to scared to take us with her because of his constant threats on her life.

I’ve even heard him say he would kill her parents if they crossed him.

All that..just so he could draw a check for us, to fuel his bad habits.

I’ve also heard he killed her and buried her somewhere in these mountains, with the help of Rachel.

I suppose we will never know the truth, although I’ve thought about digging deeper into the truth when I can finally get away from here.

As Mr porter pulled in the driveway,I could tell he was nervous about facing my father about why he had brought us home.

Thank God it didn’t appear that anyone was home.

I thanked him as Travis and I hurried up and grabbed our bags out of his car and we made our way to the shed that set in the back of the yard.

I quickly grabbed all the groceries out of the bags and hid them in some old boxes that where up on a shelf, so know one found the food stash we had.

I made the kids a sandwich and made them hurry and eat it as I was giving them a handful of potato chips to go with it, I had opened a juice for them to share as they where eating.

I stood watch, to make sure Rachel or my father wasn’t around.. I heard Taylor choke on a chip, I grabbed her arm and held it above her head and patted her back while Travis gave her a drink of the juice.

When she finally stopped coughing I ask her if she was alright and with big tears in her eyes she shook her head yes as I hugged her little neck.. love your heart baby I said to her as she threw her little arms around me and told me she loved me, it was all I could do to not cry.

It’s those tiny little things that makes it all worth it.

The twins was little skinny kids with blond hair and big brown eyes and was always happy it seemed, even though life didn’t treat them fairly; I felt.

Travis looked a lot like me..dark hair, tall and thin with big blue eyes,dark complexion to his skin.

We favored our mothers looks.

My father was a big man with brown hair and brown eyes, and wore a scraggly beard and longer shoulder length hair, he was a nice looking man back in the day but the hard party life was taking its toll on him now.

Rachel had long red hair, was medium built, had fair skin and green eyes.

she was always walking around like she was better than everyone around her, but she was as mean as a snake and didn’t care who she hurt.

My Sister Jenny stood up to her one time and Rachel broke her arm by picking up a chair and hitting her with it and she slapped me across the face because I started crying.

Our father then made us get up and stay in the back room all night and most of the next day, until they finally passed out from drinking.

Jenny and I snuck out and we had the neighbors to take her to the hospital, we had to lie and say she had fell from a tree; they wasn’t gonna treat her arm until a parent was there.

Finally the neighbor said he would pay for it out of pocket.

Jenny worked it off for him that summer cleaning his house and also other favors along the way not in a bad way though. Our neighbors was good to us kids.

As I stood there remembering that horrid day, Rachel pulled up in the driveway with some other woman, and a young boy that looked to be the same age as the twins. My father came riding up behind them on a motorcycle and I could tell instantly he was drunk.

I told the kids to go out the back of the shed and run into my bedroom as I hurried up and put the food back up on the shelf and hid any evidence of it.

I made my way into my bedroom and told the twins to change out of their school clothes into some old ragged clothes to play in.

I always kept there clothes in my room so I could keep up with what little clothes they had and always kept them clean.

Travis has already ran outside to see what my dad and the others where doing as I took the smaller kids out to play.

I ask the lady that had pulled up with Rachel if her son wanted to play with the twins and she said sure with a smile.

Rachel stood there starring at me like she could kill me and finally said how was your day Bethy...I could tell it was a front because of her company.

She told me to go and get her big cup so she could mix her a drink in it, as I turned to go get it I heard her say you dumb b***h under her breathe.

At that very moment I wanted to just kick her in the face, but the truth was, I was scared of her.

I knew what she was capable of. I just keep telling myself not much longer and I’ll run away from here with the kids and never look back.

As I lay in my room I can hear them getting louder out in the yard, my dad was so drunk he was literally making a pass at Rachel’s friend right in front of her.

She knew not to make a fuss with my dad, he would make her regret it if she dared to stand up to him.

He would have s*x with that other woman in front of her and make her watch through black eyes if he chose to.

I soon heard them come into the house and they were all setting around the table, a few more guys had joined them by now and I thought this is the perfect opportunity to go check on the kids and run down the holler to see Melissa for a few minutes.

As I opened my bedroom door my father looked at me and said come in here... I hesitated for a second and he gave me a look..I knew to go see what he wanted, as I made my way nervously toward the kitchen my dad held out his arm and wrapped it around my waist and said to the others in the room this Bethy my daughter, any of you sons of bitches looks at her I’ll kill ya with a laugh following his sarcastic remark.. even though he didn’t care about me, if he thought any of his friends would disrespect him by checking me out he would start a fight to prove who he was.

So in a good way I guess that’s a good thing for me I don’t have to worry about dad’s friends coming on to me, they fear him to much.

I respectability pushed myself away from him and stood there hoping he would just let me go.

I could feel Rachel looking at me, with a drunkin grin on her face, she said where are you headed to.. your good friend Melissa’s house to hide?

I never understood why she hated me so much, I mean it’s not like I don’t take care of her children.

I just smiled and said “nope” I’m gonna go see what the kids are doing.

She just rolled her big ugly green eyes and looked at the woman who was sitting across the table from her and said “dumb kids”.

That lady just looked at me with pitty in her eyes and said I’ll go with you and check on my son Scotty.

I thought to myself damn, I’m never going to get out of here now.

I want to talk to Melissa before it gets to late.

As we made it down the front steps she said my name is Nancy. I don’t drink or party if that’s what you was thinking.

I just shot her a quick glance and said..oh I didn’t think anything bad..deep down I thought she was no good.

I yelled for the kids and all three of them come running up to us. Where’s Travis? I ask Tyler as him and Nancy’s son was playing tag around my legs.

Nancy grabbed her son’s arm and said stop it, she’s trying to talk to her brother..I assured her he was fine and ask Tyler again. He said I don’t know I think he went in the woods.

I told Nancy I needed to go check on him and she said we have to get going anyways.

I told the twins to come on with me and to tell their new friend Scotty bye.

They then started in about Scotty coming back so they could play again and Nancy chimes in with, I’m sure you’ll see us soon.

So I waited for her and Scotty to disappear in the house.the kids and I sprinted off towards the wooded area behind the shed.

There was a walking path that led me into Melissa’s back yard, so as we was almost to her house I seen Travis walking toward us holding something, as we got up to him I could see he was holding a puppy and not just any puppy a Red healer.

The twins went wild when they seen it and started jumping around wanting to hold it.

Travis where did you get this puppy from?

He said at Jackie’s, their two healers had a litter, can I keep him?

Travis I said loudly, you know I can barely keep you kids fed what are we going to do about feeding a puppy, plus you know how Dad is over animals.

He said in such a sad way..I knew you wouldn’t let us have him, we can’t have anything.

As I watched tears forming up in his big blue eyes; it broke my heart, and he was a very pretty puppy.

I just told him alright, we can keep him, but you have to help with getting him dog food and try to keep him hid from those assholes at the house.

I knew it probably wouldn’t end very well for us to try and keep him but we’ve always wanted one.

What’s his name going to be I ask the kids.. all these crazy names started flying from there mouths. Red moon dog, flash, mountain dog, even Zombie.

I had to laugh as I took this puppy and looked at him for a minute to figure out a suitable name for him. WRANGLER! perfect name for you little guy.. we all liked the name so Wrangler it is.

We continued walking down the path to Melissa’s house, as we made it to her back yard, I could see her sitting on her back porch smoking a cigarette.

I think she about swallowed that Marlboro when she seen us because if her mother would have caught her smoking she would have skinned her alive.

She motioned for me to hurry over to her as I told the kids to go play with their puppy in the grass so I could smoke one too and get some much needed girl talk in.

Where is your mother I ask with a worried look on my face. She said she’s gone into town with her sister and won’t be back til late tonight they went to the local bar in town for some drinking and dancing.

“Well scoot over girl” and give me one I exclaimed to her.

She said where did you guys find a puppy from?..as she walked over to look at it.

I told her the story about how it came about that we ended up with a pup as we smoked like Freight trains sitting on the ground playing with Wrangler. We laughed and talked for a while it was starting to get dark so I told her I had to get home, I have to get the twins in bed, I could tell she didn’t want me to go but I had to before it was to late to feed them something and get them washed up for bed.

As we was walking back up the path Melissa came running after us and ask me to sneak out tonight if I could, she added she had something to talk to me about in private.

I agreed to try and meet her on the back porch at her house at 11pm if I could get away without my dad and Rachel seeing me.

We made it back to the shed and I opened a can of ravioli to feed the kids and a couple slices of bread...I gave them each a juice. As we started walking back to the house, I could hear Rachel screaming in a drunken stupor at my father, I thought to myself this isn’t gonna be good.

We reached my bedroom window and climbed in, I managed to get the twins washed off and in some night clothes.

I told Travis to go take a shower and get into bed, he ask if he could sleep in my room tonight with Wrangler.

I told him tonight only, he would have to make sure he cleaned any messes up after him, he agreed, So I snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a can of dog food that had been there from my dad’s dog that had died about three months ago, as I grabbed it and a bowl for water I heard Rachel and my dad walking out of their bed room and I ran down the hallway and handed the food and water to Travis and shut the bedroom door.

I stood there listening to them talking about going out of town for a week or two for some bike week event, that was going on in Columbus Ohio, as I stood there I became excited about them leaving town for a week or hopefully two weeks would be even better.

Travis ask what was going on and I held up my hand to hush him up so I could hear them talking.

My dad screamed my name so loud that my heart pounded so hard, I almost got sick to my stomach.

Travis grabbed the puppy and jumped in the closet and the twins laid in silence as I turned to them and told them to go to sleep.

I walked out into the hallway and slowly into the junked up living room where my dad was standing as he swayed back and forth from being so drunk.

Did you need me Dad? I was feeling a bit nervous as to what he wanted.

He said we are going to Columbus for a couple of weeks, don’t be getting you ass into trouble. If any welfare people comes knocking on the door you tell them I’m at work and Rachel is too. “ even though either of them worked”

I calmly said alright dad. Do you need me to help you do anything before you go?

I could barely hold back the excitement in my voice as I spoke to him, when are you guys leaving? “I ask”..He said just as soon as Richard and Darlene gets here with his trailer for our Harley’s and our stuff...all I could get out was “oh ok” then Rachel came out with a tote bag full of slutty clothes I’m sure.

Where’s my kids she says to me as if she really cared at all.

Their asleep, I said to her as nice as I could.

I didn’t want to start any arguments with her before they left. As she charged back to my room...my heart melted over her finding Wrangler in there.

All I could do was clench up and prepare myself for her to start yelling at Travis over the puppy, but nothing.

Travis heard her coming and went out my bedroom window with Wrangler.

I could see him making his way to the shed from the living room window, thank God dad didn’t see him.

As I stood there for a moment with dad sitting on the couch facing me he started to reach in his pocket and pull out his wallet.

He flipped his thumb threw the money in it a couple of times and pulled out a 100 dollar bill as he did two more hundreds fell out on the cushion beside him, as I stood there in disbelief as he handed me that 200 dollar bills and said here, I took it and said thanks dad as he hushed me up before Rachel heard us talking .

Maybe I should have said something to him when I seen the other two bills fall out of his wallet but I just stood there, not a word spilled out.

I kind of felt bad for a second but all I could think was, I can buy food for these kids for the next two weeks and maybe even get them a new out fit for each of them, if enough had fell out of his wallet...

I was sure I saw two 100 dollar bills but I wasn’t positive until he left and I could grab that money.

I stepped into the hallway and looked toward my room because Rachel never talked to her kids this long.

My dad jumped up and walked toward the front door, he heard Richard and Darlene pulling in the driveway...as he did I run over to the couch and sat down on that money so he couldn’t see it.

He told me to help him carry out his stuff and to get Rachel’s bag.

When I stood up that money fell in the floor and he seen it hit the floor, I looked down thinking to myself he’ll think I stole it from him, but to my surprise he walked over and picked it up and said here take this too and he even opened his wallet again took out another couple hundred and handed it to me also.

I said with a shocked reaction dad are you sure? He said in a sarcastic way, you like to eat don’t you dumb ass.

I said said yes sir, I sure do. I quickly picked up his stuff and started out the door with it.

I could hear him yelling for Rachel to come on, if she was going.

She slowly walked out of my room with sleepy eyes, the nerve of her to go in there to talk to the kids and pass her drunk ass out in front of them on my bed.

She walked past me and made her way out the door as I stood there and watched them climb into the back of the big extended cab truck.

Richard walked over to the back of his truck and said Bethy I’ll have Darlene to call you kids and check in with you when we get there, do you need anything before we take off?

I told him no and thanked him as I made sure to watch them leave.

I couldn’t hardly wait to tell Travis about the money dad had handed me. It’s honestly the the first time I can ever remember him handing me money.

I’m still in shock...I can settle down now and see exactly how much he had given me.

I was shocked as I counted the first two hundred and then the crumpled up money that had fell out of his wallet there was actually three hundred dollars that had fell out of his wallet, and the other two hundred he handed me.

700 dollars I couldn’t believe it. It may not seem like a lot to some people but to me it was like Christmas morning.

First thing, groceries for a couple of weeks that I can cook hot meals for the kids and a couple of new outfits for us, plenty of dog food for wrangler and still money to put up and save for hard times when the kids need something.

By now it was 10:30pm, Travis had finally came back in and the twins was fast asleep.

I ask Travis if he minded staying in there with them for a while..So I could go to Melissa’s to see what she was wanting to tell me.

He agreed, and I went down the main holler road this time since it was dark out and I didn’t want to step on a snake or anything on the walking path, plus I could make sure her Mother hadn’t came home yet, I would be able to see her car in the driveway.

I knocked on her door, I could hear her running to open the door with excitement in her eyes.

She said “hey” my mom just called and said she was a little to tipsy to drive so they rented a motel room for the night and ask me if I would be alright alone tonight, of course I told her I was fine and was gonna turn in early.

I couldn’t believe this, this day couldn’t have gotten any better.

I told her everything about them leaving...we was practically dancing in her living room with the most excited feeling ever.

I know it’s only for two weeks but I was happy anyway.

So I ask, what was the news you wanted to tell me?

She just stood there looking at me with this grin on her face.

I was looking at how beautiful she was with her dark skin and long wavy hair, eyes black as coal.

She said Bethy I was at a party the other night and ran into this guy his name is Ben Ramey, he was asking John and I to come to his house this Saturday and to bring a friend with me for him to couple up with.

I said, no I can’t I don’t have any clothes to wear, and the kids! What will I do with them?

She grabbed me and shook my shoulders and said Bethy you will have new clothes tomorrow after I take you shopping and I already found a sitter for the twins. Who I ask?

Amy Beth she said. I’m not taking no for an answer I’ve already got it set up...you’re going, end of story.

But how did you know that dad and Rachel was gonna be gone, for you to get a baby sitter already?

“Crazy,”your brother Travis already came here and let me know they was leaving for two weeks.

That night I laid in my bed tossing and turning over being set up with someone.

I had never even thought about going on a date or anything to that nature, anyone I had ever crushed on was to scared of my crazy family, and with the kids I didn’t have time for it anyway.

It was kind of exciting though.

It was daylight out as my eyes opened to the sound of the phone ringing in the kitchen and I jumped up and jogged into the kitchen to answer the phone.

With a sleepy voice I answered it “hello” it was Darlene calling to let me know they had made it. Your dad and Rachel are passed out in the hotel room already, she informed me . “that’s not surprising”I said with a sarcastic remark, she laughed and told me to enjoy the next couple of weeks and she would call when they was headed back home. I really like Darlene and Richard they were also friends with my mother years ago. I feel like Darlene has always tried to look out for us in her own drunken way, they loved to party but they was good people.

As I was hanging up the phone I heard a peck on the kitchen window,it was Melissa.

I ran over to let her in and she said you ain’t ready yet in a joking way. She told me her mom had came home and told her we could have the car today while she laid in the bed, to get over her hangover.

I told her to give me thirty minutes or so to get the kids fed and dressed. I hurried up and scrambled them some eggs and some toast,I woke them up and told them to eat while I took a quick shower and got ready. Melissa got the kids dressed for me and Travis took his puppy out to the shed and fed him and gave him a little bed to sleep in while we was gone, of course the kids took some stuffed animals out there for him to play with.

It was a long day shopping and buying groceries and we went out to eat and I really enjoyed myself for once, and I bought myself a couple pairs of Jeans,new shoes, and about five new tops.

I bought the kids two new out fits for each one of them and new socks and underwear and new shoes. I had her to stop in town at the barber shop to have Travis and Tyler’s hair cut.

It only left me with about 70 bucks but I didn’t care it was worth it to spoil them for a day.

We got back home and I cleaned the kids up and we took them to Amy Beth’s house. I heard Melissa tell her to keep them for the night, we would be back in the morning

Amy Beth was great with the kids and they love her, she even kept Wrangler.

I felt so nervous,..she was fixing my hair before we left to go meet her boyfriend John, then off to Bens house.