Peculiar world

CHAPTER 10 (Gripped√)

"Let go of me." My throat hurts, and I can't place why. Logan still isn't moving.

"S-stop already, please."

His grip on my arm loosens little by little. I take the opportunity to escape. But no matter what I do,I still see Logan's eyes, and what is in them. And I can't escape that. The dozens of eyes I could stare into, Logan's is the one I am most scared of. For some reason I can't explain my entire past, all I am trying to forget is in his eyes.

The past I can't ever bring back. And for me, there isn't any reason to bring back that

past anyway.

I could tell this day isn't normal. I want to lie down, sleep, and forget. I open the door to my apartment and step inside. Wait. I flick the light switch on.

"What are you doing here?" I say while she keeps her back to me.

"Why?" She slowly turns. She smiles. It always annoys me. "...Is it bad to visit

my sister?"

"What do you want, Merry."

"Yeah, maybe we're not biologically siblings, but I have good news."

"What is it?" I drop my bag next to the cabinet then start to take my socks off.

Meanwhile, she sits on the couch. She is still smiling that sweet smile in the spirit of someone trying her hardest to annoy

me. And me, trying to appear unaffected by her. Wait, I'm always annoyed: by the way she speaks, the way she acts and everything about her. Well, that's how it is with people you dislike.

Even if they aren't doing anything you're annoyed, and you're affected.

"Tito Ricardo will adopt me. I'm going to be a Lorie too." she says and I go still. I try to keep a straight face. So, will dad adopt her?

That's not cool.

"Is that the reason why you're here?"

"No."

I turn my back to the direction of my room. This day was awful and I want to rest. "The door is open, you can leave." and I am not close, I don't even consider her as a friend, maybe then, but now? Since I found out that her mom was going to be dad's new wife, I stopped talking to her.

Coincidentally, we ended up in the same class, and our classmates have no idea she is my stepsister.

"Stay away from him." Merry firmly says. Again, it's as if I can't move. But at the same time, involuntarily a grin spreads across my face. So she must have seen what happened in the library earlier, and that is why she came.

"I see." I smirk. "Why? Are you scared?" Although I haven't turned to face her: Merry's signature smile, that always irritated me, has just disappeared.

"Shut up!" I laugh. I knew those words would irritate her. We are five meters away from each other, but even from here I can feel her radiating irritation. I know in at this moment, the odds are in my favor.

"You are scared, aren't you? Well, I know when you're at the top, you never want to get down. You may have everything I used to have Merry, but the time will come when all that will return to its rightful owner."

All of that is mine.

"Don't make me laugh, Jane." is her only reply and I hear footsteps getting fainter. But before gets any father, Merry stops and leaves me with the words, "There's no place for you to come back."

One of the reasons why I dislike Merry is because everything I had left behind had gone to her. So you couldn't exactly say she stole those things from me because I let it happen, I didn't make an effort to

get them back. Simply put, I didn't fight.

My breath hitches. I feel so tired, even if I didn't do anything. There's that heavy feeling again, and I don't know how to save myself from it. I go into my room, turn the lampshade on and sit at the edge of my bed. I haven't changed out of my school clothes yet. For several minutes I stay like that, staring into nothingness, and feeling nothing, too.

Something is keeping me from collapsing onto the bed, so on an impulse, I stand up and walk to my cabinet. I open it and search inside for a box. When I find it I go to the study table to open it...

The box is dusty, it's been a long time since it's been moved. When I open it, it reveals discolored photographs, ones that have no meaning anymore. I turn the box over and its contents scatter across the study table.

I pick up the first photograph that catches my attention. The setting of the photo is bright and serene, like the people in it. They have their arms on each other's shoulders, laughing. My shadow friends. Where could they be? Literally, I'm with them every day. In the classroom. But they're too wrapped in the darkness that is sometimes their own for me to properly see them. You can pass by them, feel their coming and go, but not see them.

Like the wind.

I flipped the photo to see what's behind it," Friends are like treasure, it's hard to find them, but they are very special.

If you are a friend, it means you were

chosen. You were chosen to stay in someone's life" Go 2-A. That smile in this photo won't ever be. I put the photo down, and picked up another one.

"Tito Ricardo will adopt me..."It's as if Merry's words are echoing in my ears. Why? Why did you choose her, dad? Why her over me? It hurts to think about how I'm here alone, and you're there with them,

happy, and eating meals together.

Do you wonder if I'm okay? If I've eaten? Does lever even cross your mind? I thought you'd stop me from leaving, but you only said, "Go ahead. It's your life."

It isn't wrong to expect something, is it? It feels like he cut our ties.

The third photograph is me...with him. I smile bitterly. When you're in love and you get hurt it's like a cut...it will heal, but there will always be a scar. It's like once you've been hurt you get scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you like is going to break your heart.

"Stay away from him."

I gather all the photographs and put them back into the box. I carry it to the kitchen, find the trash can, and throw the box away there.

Every person around you is going to hurt you at some point in time...But it's up to you to decide what is important.

….

"I want you to write your future paths on these papers." Miss Mathilda tells us as she distributes sheets of paper. The paper is colored black and there's a white tag in the upper right corner showing our names.

It was Miss Italy who said life is a big competition. An unfair one. If you don't fight, you lose. Lazy and stupid people will suffer.

While those clever enough and those who give an effort will get special privileges and a rich life.

This is how she influences the class, the belief that through good grades, you get a good future.

You could get into prestigious universities, and have a good job. For the young adults like us full to bursting with pressure and uncertainty of how life works, there's

nothing else to do but follow what older, more experienced people say.

"M-miss?" Daphne raises her hand.

"Yes?"

"Isn't this the same as our career survey paper?"she shyly says.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Why is it black?'

"This is weird!"

"Just do what I said. Aqueva will collect the papers." Urgh. If it wasn't going to be Aqueva collecting the papers, I wouldn't submit anything. But heck, the rule in this class is to obey or else.

I don't understand. Is she making us write our future paths on this paper? And like, duh, how would we see what we're writing? She's weird.

Karen Italia is weird. I pick up my ballpen and start to write. So, what about my future huh?

"While you all are doing that, I'll call you one by one for career counseling. So, first," Miss Karen looks at her record book., " LORIE. Please come with me."