Her Guardian Angel- Gabriel's Story

Chapter 7- Fred

Talia POV

By the end of May and I had finished my school year out online. It was so easy for me that I decided to keep going. The counselor at school is pretty confident that if I push through the summer, I can finish 10th grade and go straight to 11th or even beyond. Finishing high school early seems like a good way to go. This way I’ll be in the same grade as Damien and Adam too.

Tana still won’t talk to me. I broke down and texted her a few weeks ago. She heard that Damien and I are officially together and won’t let me explain anything. I guess she isn’t as good of a friend as I thought. I could really use one of those right now.

Things with Damien are going well. We aren’t in school together, but he usually comes over a few nights a week, and I’ve been going to his baseball games when I can. Luckily, Adam took Damien and I’s relationship much better than Tana. He just jokes that he should have made his move sooner. This weekend I am going to his place to ride horses and for him to show me around.

“Morning Dad!” I came into the kitchen for breakfast. This was usually the only time I saw him anymore. Most of time he is buried in his work at the auto shop. I think it is how he is coping with mom being gone. I am not sure I’m doing much better, just pushing myself into school and maybe Damien to forget everything else.

“Morning Tali, what are you up to today?” My Dad was drinking his coffee, flipping through his phone, like normal these days.

“I’m going to ride horses! Damien is coming to pick me up. I’ll be home later tonight.” I really was excited, and I hoped he would notice.

“That’s great honey, maybe take some pictures. I’d love to see you riding again. Maybe we can even set up some lessons if you’re interested?” I was so happy to see him interested in what I was doing.

“We’ll see how it goes, but riding lessons might be fun.” I wasn’t really sure about lessons, but I wanted to give him a little hope. I love my dad. I really would do anything to see him happy again.

I heard honking and ran outside. “See you later!” I was really excited to spend the day with Damien, and I really couldn’t wait to be around horses again. I loved animals, and hoped that reconnecting with that side of me might help, in some way.

“Come on Beautiful! Let’s hurry up.” I think he was just as excited as me, but maybe not for the same reasons. I climbed in the car and reached over to give him a little kiss hello. I really couldn’t get enough of his kisses. “You look really nice today, like an actual cowgirl.” He laughed while complimenting me.

“You know I used to ride a lot, right?” I reminded him. “I’m no noob.”

“I know, I’ve just never seen you like this. I like it.” I swear I saw him blushing a little. He leaned over to hold my hand while driving. He could be so sweet sometimes.

He only lived about 15 min out of town, but it felt like a completely different world. Open fields surrounding a big farm house and several barns around. I saw cows in one pasture near the house. It reminded me of my grandparent’s place, but much bigger. “Why don’t you spend more time here? If this was my house, I may not ever leave.” I was teasing him, but also kind of serious.

“I’d rather play baseball, and well, you live in town. So, I’d rather be near you.” He was really laying on the charm today. Plus, seeing Damien dressed up to ride was a site to see. If I thought he was cute before, he was even hotter today. “Let me show you around.” He said while dragging me out of the car.

This place was even better than I first thought, and they had a lot of horses. “Do I get to pick who I ride?”

“Only if I’m an option…” Damien said quietly from behind me. I couldn’t believe he was so bold just now. He sent goose bumps down my back, and made me think of things that I maybe shouldn’t just before we go horseback riding.

“Don’t be silly, I couldn’t put a saddle on you.” I thought I had the right come back, but then it hit me that I was totally wrong. OMG, what did I just say!

Damien came closer to me and kissed my neck and slightly bit my ear. I lost my breath and a different shiver went through me, but it was more of the warning kind. We haven’t done anything more than kiss, but I know he is older and would like to run more bases, if were using baseball terminology. I just slipped away and ran to the barn to look at actual horses to ride.

“So, which ‘horses’ can we ride?” I may have emphasized horses a bit much, but he got my point.

“This is Buttercup, she’s one of my favorites.” He said pointing out the Palomino in the first stall. “Then there is Dairy, and Cream,” a pair of buckskins further down. “I don’t think either of us should ride Buck, as he got his name for a reason. And the last option is Fred, the black one on the end.”

I walked the isle admiring the horses, it smelled so good in the barn. I forgot how much I loved the smell of horses. I even wanted to be a horse Vet when I was little. I stopped at Buck, he was a handsome guy, but maybe not for today. Then there was Fred, he looked gentle, but maybe fast too, “Fred looks like my kind of horse, but maybe Buck next time.” I winked at Damien hoping to get a rise out of him.

“Maybe next time,” he winked back. “Grab a halter and get him out, I’ll take Buttercup.” I couldn’t believe how much I remembered about saddling up horses. It was second nature for me, and I think Damien was impressed. Before I knew it, we were walking around the riding arena. It was a beautiful day and I didn’t have a care in the world, except for feeling Fred underneath me. The gentle sway of a 1000 lb animal walking made everything else melt away.

“You’re a natural.” Damien came riding up next to me. Buttercup nuzzled Fred, they seemed to like each other. “Buttercup is the one in charge when they are in the field and Fred is her main man.” He seemed quite proud that I had picked his horses boyfriend.

“It feels so good to ride again. I can just close my eyes and get lost here.” I closed my eyes, let go of the reins and spread my arms up high, enjoying the freedom I was feeling. “Can we run?” I hopefully asked.

“Yes, but let’s try some trotting in the arena. We need to warm the horses up first. Then I’ll take you to my place, where I like to run.” Seeing this side of Damien was intriguing for me. He was always so sporty and mysterious. This Damien was laid back and more cowboy than I had seen him be. We lived in an old cowboy town, but it wasn’t exactly cool to be a cowboy anymore.

It took me a little bit to get used to going faster, trotting was a bit rougher than I remembered, but then we started galloping and my heart soared. “I’m ready to run!” I exclaimed. Damien was able to open the gate to go outside, without getting off Buttercup. I was clearly impressed.

“You haven’t seen anything yet Beautiful…” He said before trotting off to the back pasture. I followed eagerly, not missing a step. When we reached the back of the pasture, he hopped off to open another gate, it was too low to reach on the horse. “Now, we can run up here, but don’t go too fast, yell if you need any help to stop, and we never run back to the barn.”

“Why can’t we run back to the barn? Afraid I’ll beat you in a race?” I really wanted to race him on Fred. I couldn’t beat him in an actual foot race, but I might have a chance on horseback.

“If we run them back to the barn it will train them to run back for grain. It can be dangerous, so we never run them back to the barn.” It seemed like a good reason, but also not fun at all. “Don’t get your panties in a twist Princess…”

There it was, the nick name I didn’t want to hear. I felt my chest fill with determination and a little anger. Angry. I said it, I was angry with Gabe. He was who I really wanted to go riding with. He used to be my silent partner in everything, but he was gone. “I thought I told you not to call me that,” I growled out as I kicked Fred and yelled “Yaw, Yaw!” We took off, I almost lost my balance, but settled in to his groove quickly. Damien wasn’t far behind as I think I heard him trying to apologize, but I didn’t care. I felt the breeze whipping my face and my hair flying behind me. This was freedom. Freedom from all the pain I had bottled up. Freedom from grief, anger, expectations, friends, everything really. I wanted more.

“Slow down there Beautiful!” Damien shouted as he got closer. “I wanted to show you something up here.” I reluctantly pulled back the reins, and turned towards Damien. “I am sorry about calling you Prin…” He caught himself when he saw my glare. “I will try not to do it again. Hop off and follow me.”

Dismounting was much more natural for him than me. My foot got caught and Damien was there just in time to catch me before I fell. We tumbled down into the grass with me on top of him. We were both laughing until I realized I was straddling him. I froze for a moment before he reached up and kissed me. I think it was supposed to be just a peck, but I followed him back down, deepening the kiss.

My adrenaline was already pumping and I’d like to think the part of my brain that filtered situation of ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’ was turned off, because I didn’t stop. I slid my hands under his shirt and held him down while I kissed every part of his face and neck. I swear I could have eaten him alive and he would just let me.

Suddenly I felt a cool tingle on my back, the good kind, the kind I used to feel from… him. I couldn’t bear to think his name while I was making out with my boyfriend, but then I saw it. His face. Gabe’s face. Surrounding me. Looking really sad, but here just the same. I pulled back from Damien and shut my eyes for a minute. This can’t be real, ‘he’s gone, he’s gone’ I was chanting to myself. Gabe disappeared when I re opened them. Phew!

“I like this side of you Talia.” Damien had the most handsome, devilish grin on his face right now. I wanted to keep doing what we were just doing. I reached for his shirt again, but he stopped me. “Let’s tie the horses up and I’ll take you to my spot first. Okay?”

I rolled my eyes as I climbed off of him, and followed him while leading Fred. Fred could have cared less about where we were going, all he wanted to do was eat all the grass nearby. I couldn’t help but laugh at how easily he was distracted by food. “He reminds me of you.” Damien wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked over to a thicket of trees. “Easily distracted by a tasty treat...”

Oh, this boy! He may be the death of me. I hit him with my leather reins. “Easy tiger, we aren’t to that level yet.” He sped up, knowing how much that comment would get to me. The s****l tension between the two of us was thick, like cut with a knife thick.

“You wish!” I tried to be serious now, but had to take a few deep gulps trying to swallow these crazy feelings I had inside.

“I do wish, but only when you’re ready.” He said more seriously.

Lord have mercy on me. I’m in deep trouble. I was too young for this, but Damien birthday was in a little over a month, and I knew I would have to figure out where I was willing to go, and quick. I was a good girl. Or so I thought. Having s*x before I was married was never something I even thought to consider. I always imagined I would meet someone in college, fall in love, get married, then have babies with them. That is just how it worked, but what happens when you fall for your first boyfriend.

How could I wait 3 or 4 years? That seemed impossible at this moment. I’m not even sure what I want in life anymore. Maybe just surviving is good enough for now. And what was with me seeing Gabe just now? I haven’t felt him since the night my mom died. Was he really just here? Or was I just imagining him.

“We’re here.” Damien had taken us through some trees to a little creek that seemed to come straight up from the ground. We tied the horses up to a tree at the edge of the little clearing and went over the to the water. “This is my spot. I come here when I need to get away, or to think.”

“Just like my field.” I thought out loud.

“Just like your field…. I’ve wanted to bring you here ever since that night we were there.” He came closer to me and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I was looking down at the water when he tilted my chin up to meet his eyes. Those dark eyes were so beautiful, and his dark skin seemed to lure me in. The complete opposite of my light green eyes and peach skin. “You are so sexy, so beautiful, and so smart. How did I get so lucky?” He asked me.

I reached up and kissed him, holding on to his shirt for dear life. His hands trailed over my waist, lifting my shirt just slightly. I didn’t stop him this time, instead I thrust my tongue into his mouth and he moaned in appreciation. I liked the power I had over him in this moment. I had the power to do whatever I wanted right now, here with Damien.

His hands slowly went up my back, caressing my skin and it felt glorious. Being so tall, I didn’t feel small very often, but his large rough hands made me feel like his own personal delicate treasure. I wanted more. More skin, more touch, more of him. I leaned back just a little and pulled his shirt up and over his head. I couldn’t believe how daring I was being. Maybe it was the horses, or the isolation, or just the freedom I felt in this moment, but I wanted to be closer to Damien.

We continued our very passionate kissing, until I realized he was fiddling with my bra clasp. I gasped a little and stopped kissing. “Uh…I’m not sure we should go that far.” I managed to stutter out.

“Don’t worry baby, I just want a little more today…” His encouragement didn’t make me feel like I was in control anymore. The opposite in fact. I froze, but didn’t say no. He fumbled a little bit, but got the clasp undone. The devilish smile on his face wasn’t as handsome right then. It was cockier, and I wasn’t as impressed.

I started to shiver uncontrollably. My gut felt raw, like something was wrong. He laid us down in the tall grass and started kissing my ears and neck while his hand roamed under my bra. I was what you would call an early bloomer. My mom said she was the same way, a woman’s body by age 14, but she said she never grew more after 8th grade.

“You feel so good baby,” he was trying to make me more comfortable, but I don’t think anything could make me relax in this moment. “Your breasts are so soft and perfect!” He almost moaned the last words, I guess making him happy isn’t the worst thing I could be doing as his girlfriend.

I relaxed a little, and for another moment I thought I saw Gabe in my head. He looked really mad, but he was there. The stubborn side of me came out and I pealed my shirt off, to Damien’s surprise and delight. I narrowed my eyes at the image of Gabe in my head, and shook the image away. How dare he be mad at me. I’ll show him what my life will be like now. Just how I want it! Although I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going down this new path, but it was going to be mine all the same.

“Oh baby, you are so perfect!” Damien gasped and both hands immediately covered my breasts. Our kissing continued and our upper bodies were melting together. Our jeans were a little too thick to feel much through, but I definitely knew he was aroused down below. I couldn’t wrap my head around that idea just yet, so I focused on the complete euphoria of hitting second base.

After what seemed like hours of kissing and fondling, we put our clothes back on and gathered the horses. The ride back was quiet, and seemed to go by too quickly. We unsaddled the horses and brushed them down. We were covered in dirt and hair by the end of it, but the horses were clean and happy in their stalls with grain. Fred seemed very pleased with himself and gave my hair a little nibble. “Thank you, Fred, I promise I’ll come see you again and bring carrots next time.” He seemed to approve of whatever I said and let out a little neigh.

“Fred doesn’t like everyone, but he definitely likes you.” I suddenly smelled a sweaty, dirty boy behind me, but it was the smell of horses so I didn’t mind. “I think he has good taste.” Damien finished his thought with a sensual kiss at the crook of my neck.

“Stop, it’s time for me to head home.” I giggled because I really didn’t want him to stop, but knew we didn’t want to get caught kissing in the barn.

The ride home was a bit awkward. Our relationship seemed to jump to the next level really fast and I wasn’t sure how to handle everything. I was hoping for a few days to process today’s events at home. I really wish I had Tana to talk to now. Maybe I should reach out to one of my other girlfriends. The only other person I really talk to is Adam these days, and I really can’t talk to him about Damien. That would be so weird!

“Good night beautiful,” Damien kissed my forehead good bye at my door. “I had a really nice time with you today. Can’t wait to see you again.” He ended our goodbye with that devilish look, and I got what he really meant. Ugh, this boy! What am I to do?

I went straight to the shower, letting my dad know I was home on the way. “How was it, Tali?” He actually seemed excited to hear about it.

“It was great dad, but I smell like horse and want to take a quick shower. We can chat when I get out.”

“Alright, take your time. I have an idea for you when you’re done.”

I don’t know what he could be up to, but I took my time washing every part of my body. Remembering all the wonderful things Damien made me feel earlier, and imagining all the things that he could do to me later…. This is so unlike me! But maybe this is just the new me? I heard a loud ‘NO’ in the back of my mind, and for a second, I thought it was Gabe. But Gabe is gone, I reminded myself. I must have imagined it. I let out a heavy sigh, and dried off from the shower. Thick fleece jammies seemed like a good option, even though the nights weren’t cold these days.

“What’s up dad?” I sat on the couch while still drying my hair.

“I was looking at riding lessons at the Double K Ranch for this summer.” He paused to see my reaction and I’d guess that me still smiling meant he could keep going. “Well, they are a bit expensive, but they do have a work for lessons option available. They need stall workers, and Ms. Kite is an old friend and the owner, she’d be willing to give you a working interview. What do you think?”

Other than school I hadn’t done much of anything the past few weeks, and didn’t have any solid plans for the summer, so I thought ‘why not’. “Thanks Dad, that’s a great idea! When can I start?”

“I’ll call her tomorrow, maybe we can check it out in the afternoon? Oh, and Tali…” My stomach churned, as I wasn’t sure where he was going with this line. He seemed nervous and I’d never really seen my dad nervous. “How serious are you with Damien?”

“Oh dad, I don’t really want to talk about this with you….” I trailed off, probably beet red in the face. I absolutely can’t talk to my dad about my boyfriend! And this better not be a ‘birds and the bees’ type talk. Mom already did that, years ago.

“I’m not trying to pry too much, but you’re my little girl and I need you to be... uh… safe. Do you understand what I mean?” He was holding his breath for the longest pause. “Please don’t make me spell it out….” I thought he might pass out with how little he was breathing at this point. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Oh dad, don’t worry about me. Damien is my boyfriend, but were not that serious. Mom already talked to me about all that stuff, I’ll be just fine, and …. safe.” I couldn’t believe I just told my dad that! But also, I hadn’t even processed Damien and I for a while. Maybe I should go to planned parenthood one of these days. Just in case.

I climbed into bed that night and briefly started to think about Damien, our ride, the ‘events’, my dad, and the possibility of a summer job. My brain was going a million miles an hour, but was interrupted by a familiar chirp from my phone.

D- ‘Good Night Beautiful, sweet dreams, hopefully of me!’ Damien was clearly in bed thinking of me.

T- ‘Night’ was all I could respond as my brain was fried at this point.

I don’t know how I actually fell asleep with so much going on, but I eventually did. It was the first night I had any dreams since my birthday, not really dreams though, but nightmares.