Her Guardian Angel- Gabriel's Story

Chapter 22- The List

Sleep didn’t come easy that night, too much was swirling inside of all of me. Did I really just agree to go on birth control? What kind should I get? Did I really want Bryan to be my first? I wasn’t 100% on that last part now that I am processing everything. He was basically a man-w***e, and that is not what I envisioned for my first time. I wanted to be in love. Is that what this is? Or is it just lust? What is the difference anyways? I felt so confused again. I was up most of the night contemplating everything I possibly could imagine, good and bad.

I broke down around 3am and decided I needed a list. Not a nit-picky list, but a list of boyfriend requirements. Maybe writing it down will help me be more logical about all of this.

1. Must have good sense of humor

2. Must be mature… enough

3. Believe in soulmates…

4. Leaves good tips at restaurants.

5. Likes animals

Sh*t, after reading that last one, I really started to question Bryan. It was a no brainer to add that to my list, but I don’t think that’s him. I decided to ask him later… but for now, I felt better about sleep. This time, when my head hit the pillow sleep took me, luckily to a dream free zone. I needed that more than I knew.

Gabe’s POV

What did I just watch? I thought I was going to gouge my eyes out at one point. And the beginning, she scolded me! How does that even happen? She knows I’m warning her and she does it anyways! AHHHHH!!!! How am I supposed to help her when she is actively ignoring me? This is just unbelievable… Maybe I’m actually being punished. I don’t know what I did wrong, but this is clearly what Hell is like. Watching your favorite person in the whole universe make all the wrong decisions. Birth control? Seriously! I might need to have Isaac take over for a few months because I don’t actually think I can be present for any of that…. I can’t even think about her with anyone. This is just so terrible.

Speak of the devil, “Isaac…”

“Are you still watching this?” Isaac scoffed as he sat next to me. “I am cringing for you. I’ve never seen a human scold their angel.” He was belly laughing at me now.

“Don’t remind me! Can you take her for a few months? I can’t do this anymore.” My head was hanging low, unable to look at anyone.

“It’s not all bad…did you see her list? I think she will realize he isn’t for her soon… Maybe I can help speed things along?” Isaac was really trying to make me feel better.

“I wasn’t paying attention to her list, but maybe there is still hope. How do you think you can speed things up?” The glimmer of hope I felt was small, but I wasn’t actually ready to give up on my Talia. It was so painful to watch her growing up and possibly making decisions that will just lead to more heart break. I don’t want anyone breaking her heart, ever again.

“Let me see what I can do, but I have a feeling Bryan will give me plenty to work with here soon…”

“Fine, keep me posted if you need my help.” I needed to stay focused, hopefully Bryan will stay away for a while.

Talia’s POV

It’s kitten day! I’m so excited, I’ve been trying to visit them once a week, but today we get to bring Frankie home. Who knew I would be so excited about a little ball of fur? My dad and I got donuts on the way, and I’m not going to lie, it was nice to just be with my dad this weekend. I had missed Bryan like crazy, but after Friday night… I feel like he may be a little overrated. Why couldn’t I find someone like my dad? Not in a creepy daddy-issue way, but a good man who just wants to love me.

I was out of the car almost before it was in park, and basically dragged my dad to the barn. Ms. Kite joined us today. She has been keeping my dad company on our visits. My dad doesn’t have a lot of friends outside of work, so I know it is nice for him to socialize a bit. When we got to the hay, I started calling for my Frankie, but I couldn’t find him with the other kittens.

“Oh no! Where is he?” There was more panic in my voice that I expected.

“I’m sure he fine, don’t worry… probably taking a cat nap in a corner… let’s see.” Ms. Kite always had an answer and approached every situation so calmly. I hoped I could be like her someday. “Ah! Here he is, sleeping with his best brother. You know these two are inseparable…”

“Is that my boy?” My dad was happy to grab his little favorite. They snuggled up like best friends should.

“John, I think you need both kittens… can’t separate these brothers after all.” Ms. Kite was trying to work her magic and get rid of two kittens at once. “Kittens do well as pairs, they can keep each other company while you are at work.”

“Please dad! That would be so awesome, we could each have out own kitten.” I loved this idea, and I was really hoping my sweetest smile would do the trick.

“Alright, we might as well… They can share a bed and litter box, right? I don’t want to have to go back to the store.” He actually looked really happy, even if he just got tricked into two kittens.

“Yes, they will share everything.” Ms. Kite turned her attention back to me. “Talia, are you thinking of taking any weekend lessons during school? You can clean stalls for me Sunday morning, and ride that afternoon.”

This was an interesting offer. I hadn’t even thought about riding again yet. I don’t think I am ready, but maybe… “I’ll think about it, maybe after volleyball is over that could be a good option.”

“Just let me know, I’d love to see you both around here more.” Ms. Kite may have just been flirting with my dad. Luckily, he didn’t notice, I don’t think either of us are ready for him to date.

“We better get these kittens home…” My dad was trying to change the subject, so maybe he did notice the flirting.

“You need to name yours first.” Ms. Kite said, I was curious as to what he would pick.

“How about Joe? Frankie and Joe, sounds pretty good.” I smiled at my dad. I was glad he got his own kitten. He could use some extra snuggles these days.

The babies slept on my lap the whole drive home. I felt really happy in that moment. Just my dad, me and kittens. We spent the afternoon playing with them and setting up their little beds. I knew Bryan would be home tonight, but I wasn’t sure when. I decided that sending him a quick selfie with the kittens saying hi was a good ice breaker to breach the animal conversation.

T- ‘look at these cuties!’

I wasn’t expecting a response anytime soon, so I was surprised when he texted right back.

B- ‘What are those?’

T- ‘Kittens of course! My dad and I picked them up today! I’m so excited.’

B- ‘Like to keep?’

T- ‘Yes to keep! Do you like any pets or animals?’ I added a smiley face with the tongue sticking out with that comment.

B- ‘Not really.’

Well, there was my answer. Should I even respond to him now? No, I’m not going to. I’m turning my phone off and going to bed, with my kittens. Both of them ended up sleeping in bed with me that night. Turns out, that kittens are the perfect cure for nightmares. Their little purrs were so comforting. I didn’t even mind when they were up a few times at night to play. Hopefully I wouldn’t be too tired for volleyball in the morning.

The next week was really busy with practice twice a day and tryouts. I wasn’t planning on seeing Bryan at all, and may have been avoiding his texts and calls. By Wednesday, he showed up to watch my afternoon practice. I was pretty flustered by his arrival and missed a few key plays. At break I went over to talk with him.

“Nice shorts!” Bryan was clearly enjoying the spandex short shorts. “Have you been avoiding me?”

“It’s the uniform, and no, why would you think that?” I wasn’t going to give him my actual answer, I still wasn’t sure what I was feeling.

“Are you sure? Cause it sure feels like it…” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in close for a quick kiss.

“Let’s say I was avoiding you… what reason would I have?”

“Oh, I don’t know… either you are hoping to avoid scheduling an appointment, or because I wasn’t thrilled you got some furballs.” I’m not sure how he managed to read me that well, but he was right. I am both of those things.

“Wrong!” I spun out of his arms, and ran back to practice. “Bye Bryan, see you…. later?” I purposely left that open ended since we didn’t have any plans set until next weekend.

He called me again that evening and I did answer. I didn’t want to go back on my claim from earlier that I wasn't avoiding him. “Hello Bryan.”

“Hello to you too, finally decide to take my calls?” His voice was very soothing, and I felt like he was drawing me into a trap.

“I still don’t know what you are talking about, but yes… I answered your call. What’s up?”

“Do I need a reason to call my girlfriend? I just wanted to talk to you, see how your week has been. Check in on plans…” There it was, he wants to know if I have my appointment yet. Is that all I am good for? How can I play him just right?

“I have volleyball everyday this week, so not much time for anything else. Plus, I am spending all my free time with the kittens and getting a head start on my online classes. If you have extra time on your hands, I bet you could go get that appointment we talked about.” Let’s see how well this goes over.

“Uh, I don’t know about that. I was wanting to see you though.” The brush off… Ugh!

“You are welcome to come hang out with me and my dad, and play with the kittens after practice. That would be fun.” I know that’s not what he was hoping for, let’s see what he says.

“Sure, how about Friday?” He sounded like he did want to see me, so I couldn’t say no.

“It’s a date.”

“Can we watch a movie after?” He was clearly not interested in the kittens.

“I don’t know? Can we handle another movie night?” I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.

“Aren’t you going to… you know? Get an appointment?” He said it so quietly that I almost laughed. I was getting to know the real Bryan really well, and I could almost read his mind.

“I’ll get mine after you get yours… deal?”

“Fine, maybe just one movie Friday then?”

“K. I’m going to bed now, I’ll see you Friday.” I wanted this awkward conversation to end now, so I hung up before he said anything else.

He was driving me nuts, and I don’t think it is in a good way. Do I even want to date him anymore? When I thought about it, I still think yes. He is gorgeous and sweet most of the time, he’s just a bit too much of a…. player. There I admitted it. What was I going to do? Was dating every guy this complicated? Cause maybe I should give up, at least for a while. I’m not sure they are worth it.

When I was finally laying in bed, with the kittens snuggled up to me, I decided to think more about my boyfriend list.

6. Respects boundaries.

7. Willing to ride horses.

8. Doesn’t pressure me.

I felt like these were things that Bryan was missing. Now I just needed to figure out if it was a complete deal breaker or not. I wasn’t sure I was ready for another break up. I better just go to sleep.

--

Friday came quickly and the teams were being announced after morning practice. I was a nervous wreck. I hadn’t realized how important making varsity was to me. I loved volleyball, it was my only real sport and I wanted to make the team. Claire and Tana didn’t care which team they got on, but Ashley was just as nervous as I was. She was hoping to be with me on varsity. We were the best 15 year olds, in our opinion… but who knew what the coaches would think.

“You two need to lighten up, it’s only a team.” Claire clearly wasn’t reading the room as Ash and I were on pins and needles waiting for the teams to be posted.

“Just ignore them, we can deal with the fallout after the teams are announced.” Tana was aware of how much I wanted this. She knew I wasn’t planning on being back next year. This was my shot.

“Ash, whatever happens… I think you deserve varsity.” I wanted her to know I wouldn’t be mad if she made it and I didn’t. It was so stressful; I felt my hands get all sweaty and I held my breath for far too long. When the list was actually posted, I couldn’t even read it I was shaking so much. Thank God Tana could read it for us!

I’m not sure if Tana was just reading quietly, or if I was too nervous to actually hear her, but then I heard Ash.

“SQUUUEEEE!!!! Talia, we made it!” Ash was bouncing off the walls yelling at me and I was frozen. This huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I had hope for a great year. I didn’t know where Bryan and I were going, but I at least had volleyball to keep me going.

Now that I made varsity, I had every day after school booked through November. Being busy was exactly what I wanted. No time to get side tracked, or in trouble… Maybe I could start horseback lessons again after that. I needed a plan; I couldn’t just sit around this year. I wanted to get school done and head to college. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do after that, but at least I had a 5-year plan.

I text Bryan right away that I made varsity. I was hoping he would be just as excited for me. I really did want us to stay together.

B- ‘That’s awesome! We can celebrate tonight ?’

T- ‘I’ll be home after 4pm, when are you coming?’

B- ‘How about 5pm, I’ll bring dinner.’

T- ‘Bring enough for my dad too.’

This should be interesting; I was curious what he would bring. Tonight was going to be a big test for our relationship, and I wasn’t sure how to approach it. I was really hoping the kittens would help me to weed out his true intentions.

“Dad, Bryan is bringing dinner over and coming to see the kittens.” I wanted him to get to know Bryan, but I wasn’t quite sure how to straight up ask him.

“Sure sweetie, did you want me to give you guys some space?” Why was my dad so nice? Why couldn’t he be ‘cleaning his gun or sharpening knives’ when guys came over. I needed him to put a little more ‘fear of God’ in these boys, Lord knows I can’t do it myself.

“No, I’d like for you to get to know him a little… if you’d like too? He’s bringing dinner for all three of us…” Please catch on dad, I don’t know how to spell it out for you anymore.

My dad changed his tune, and had a really cheesy grin on his face this time. “So, are you more serious now?”

“Can you just get to know him? It doesn’t have to be serious for me to want you involved in my relationship, does it?” I was begging a little now. I didn’t need him to be hands off for this date.

“Should I start cleaning my gun?” My dad was laughing pretty hard at that, he only owns one gun, and I have never known him to use it, let alone clean it. But I was really glad he was catching on to my request. Who asks their dad to hang around for their date?

“There’s the spirit!” I winked at my dad and I think we were on the same page now. While he didn’t go get the gun out the safe, he did settle in on the couch with the kittens. They were already family members and had provided hours of entertainment for us. Frankie was more playful, and Joe was always ready to snuggle.