The Wife He Left Behind

003

I spent several minutes by the wall shedding tears. I loved my husband so much. No matter how strong I tried to stay, I kept on breaking down.

Why was he sitting so intimately with Ivy? Had I lost my husband for good?

Before I knew it, a lot of time had passed.

I staggered into my car, sitting and breathing for several minutes to calm my nerves before I started driving.

A few minutes later, I brought the engine alive, ready to leave.

With the way my chest was choked and my head heavy, I decided not to go home tonight. Otherwise, I stress so much I might end up losing my baby.

I called my best friend Dana and she opened her apartment door, came out, and was waiting for me before I could even arrive.

She took one look at my face and pulled me inside without a word.

She was very sensitive about me and knew exactly when I wasn’t okay.

I kept shedding tears as she caressed my hair which I placed on her shoulder.

“Caleb.. cal..” I tried to speak but she went “Shhh” and kept on patting my back.

I was grateful that she wasn’t curious, it would’ve been more painful explaining this.

She poured two glasses of wine before she remembered.

"Right," she said, sliding one glass toward herself and pushing a bottle of water to me.

"You shouldn’t take this. The baby." She muttered, her forehead serious and I gave a brief smile.

“Yeah.. and no one knows about it till now except you.”

"Still haven't told him?"

"I tried today." I sat comfortably and pulled my knees up.

"But he was too busy with someone else to listen to me."

Dana set her wine down. Her eyes on me. "Ly, could you tell me what happened now?"

Then, without hesitation, I told her everything. From the anniversary, and how he left me all alone at the restaurant to the photo, then the text from Ivy. I explained it all to her without holding back.

Dana stayed quiet for some moments, not without an overwhelming look on her face, even though she tried to hide it.

Then she finally spoke “Who sent you the photo?"

"It’s an unknown number. But I think it’s Ivy or maybe not."

"If it’s not her, that could only mean one thing.”

“Someone is watching them."

Dana heaved a deep sigh

"So what do you plan to do now?"

That was the only question that had been bugging my mind since I got to know about Ivy’s return to the city, and the fact that my husband now prioritizes her.

What was I going to do now? I was pregnant. I was married to a man who was slipping away from my hand without a second thought.

I heaved a sigh as well. I didn’t know my marriage could ever cause me this kind of uncertainty, pain, and confusion.

"Seriously Dana, I don't know yet," I said, my voice a bit low.

"Are you going to ask him about the hotel bar? The picture?”

"If I ask, he'll call it nothing. He'll tell me I'm overreacting again and I'll have to stand there while he makes me feel crazy for having eyes or probably lie to me."

"Or he'll confess," Dana said and I scoffed, she really didn’t know the new Caleb.

I shook my head. "This new Caleb doesn’t confess, instead, he makes me feel guilty for asking, for reacting."

Dana was quiet again. Probably lost in thoughts.

Outside her window, New York hummed the way it always does — never actually stopping.

"You have to tell him, Ly." she spoke.

"I know that too. But Dan, I don’t see him the way I used to anymore. I don’t feel like he deserves to be someone’s father anymore."

Without adding anything, she brought me to her and began patting my back.

A few minutes later, I had calmed down a bit, and I felt I was ready to leave now.

Dana insisted I pass a night at her place but I had to go home, else new Caleb say something I might not like.

She walked me gently to my car, I sat and in a swift, I drove off. Not without waving her goodbye.

I got home just after ten. Caleb was in the living room, laptop open, papers spread across the coffee table. He looked up when I walked in. His expression was careful.

"I called you," he said.

But I stayed quiet.

I set my bag down and sat across from him. Then I looked deeply into his eyes.

He closed his laptop slowly. His eyes suddenly filled with a lot of guilt.

He wasn’t looking like the man I used to know anymore.

This man here, now has a lot of secrets hidden from me, his wife.

"Were you at a hotel bar with Ivy last Tuesday?" I asked.

The pause was barely a second long. But I was an attorney. I noticed pauses.

"We ran into each other after my client dinner," he said. "We got a drink. It wasn't a thing."

"You didn't mention it."

"Because I knew you'd react like this."

"Like what? Like a wife who found out her husband spent the evening at a hotel bar with his ex? Instead of being at their anniversary?"

"It was a lobby bar, Lyra. Not a hotel room."

"That's the defense you're leading with?" I added and his jaw tightened.

"I'm not defending anything. I didn't do anything wrong."

My eyes stared into his for quite a long moment, contemplating in my head whether to tell him about the baby now, but just then, my mouth opened and it all came out. "I'm pregnant, Caleb," I said and I could see his eyes widening every second

The room dead silent.

He stared at me. I watched him process it — the shift behind his eyes, the way his expression cycled through something complicated before it settled.

"You're—" He stopped. "For how long?"

"Three months," I muttered.

"Three months." He repeated it. "And you're telling me now?"

"I've been trying to tell you for days. There was never a right moment. You were always somewhere else, giving your attention to whom you feel deserves it."

He stood up and ran a hand through his hair.

He walked to the window. Then walked back again. What was he doing? Was he really pacing up and down right now? No hint of happiness on his face? My heart fell, and I felt hot in my body. My leg shook vigorously. I had made a mistake. Why did I choose Caleb? I never knew he could ever become like this.

We’ve been married for good five years with no news of a baby and now that we have it, he couldn’t even show any sign of happiness. Caleb was the worst man alive.

"This is—" He exhaled. "This is a lot." He finally voiced.

I stayed quiet, fighting the tears in my eyes, why? Where had my husband gone?

I bit my lower lip.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked again, as if he wished it were negative.

"I've done four tests, did a scan too."

He turned back to me. His face was unreadable in the way that used to fascinate me and now just frightened me.

"Okay," he said, his tone flat and face hard. It made my stomach drop.

"Okay?" I said, my face was unbelievable with pain clearly plastered on my forehead.

"I mean — we'll talk about it properly. Tomorrow. Tonight I just, I need a minute."

He walked into our bedroom and closed the door behind him.

I sat alone in our living room for the second night in a row, my mind a mess of thoughts, my hand on my stomach.

Just then, my phone buzzed. The unknown number displays something.

This time there was no photo. Just four words.

"He chose her. Again.”

My eyes squinted, who was this person? And why did he say this?

For some reason, my heart began pounding hard in my chest.