Diary of a Danceaholic

Entry #4: A New Friend

We finally reached the auditorium doors and my mom left me mercifully alone again. I was so ready to just get this over with and get back to the peace and quiet of our hotel room. I didn’t normally care how I scored, but this time, I actually wanted to win just to show my mom that I made the right call in fixing the choreography.

I headed into the hallway that led to the dressing rooms and stage doors. There were still girls reviewing their routines in the hallway, but I didn’t know if they were warming up to perform after awards, or before. A peek at the monitor backstage confirmed that I’d made it back here with just enough time to breathe before my awards ceremony started. There were only six more solos left and they were in the open category. In dancer speak, “open” basically just means they have too many acro moves in their contemporary dance and their teacher didn’t want to risk a deduction by putting it in its proper category.

I wanted to change out of my costume, but my mom would straight up murder me if I went on stage in just my warmup jacket and shorts, even though most of the other dancers would be doing just that. Her argument was always that she paid good money for that costume. If I was feeling particularly defiant, I’d remind her that most of these costumes were given to us for free and all she had to pay for were a few more rhinestones. Today wasn’t one of those days, though, mostly because I knew I was already in enough trouble for changing my routine, so I stayed in my costume to placate her on at least this much today.

I clapped as the last girl to perform before awards headed on stage. The wings were now crowded with kids waiting for the ceremony to start. I would hate to be one of the last few to perform before awards for this very reason. There was no room to review and there were way more people watching you, most of whom just wanted you to be done already so they could get on stage for awards. Like what I was doing right now. Talk about too much unnecessary pressure.

Her routine was actually really good. It was a modern piece with a lot of tricks, and she did them all really well. She stood a good chance of getting into the top ten with that routine. When she finished, we all clapped for her and told her she did a good job, but she was soon swarmed by all of her friends and teammates from her studio.

While the backstage managers set up the stage for awards, I looked around at all the dancers that were here with me. I was one of the few that came alone. I locked eyes with another girl standing awkwardly off to the side and sensed a kindred spirit. I shoved my way through the groups of giggling girls taking selfies, to introduce myself.

“Hey,” I said with a little nod of my head. “Cool costume.”

She looked down at herself and played with some of the beaded work on her bottoms. It was a midnight blue two-piece with a ton and I mean a ton of beadwork all over it. It was stunning. There was a draped piece of chiffon hanging from her left hip that she ran through her fingers in what looked like a nervous habit.

“Thanks,” she said sheepishly. “I’m Asher. Are you here alone, too?”

“Oh yeah, I live in California. This is way too far away for my home studio to come. What about you? Where are you from?”

“Kansas,” she said with a wry laugh. “Mother decided I needed to push myself this season and,” she held her two fingers up making quotations in the air, “to broaden my horizons.”

I laughed out loud with her. Definitely a kindred spirit.

“Sit with me on stage?” I asked as the MC invited us onto the dance floor for awards.

“Yeah, totally,” she said cheerfully.

As always, there were some obligatory dancing to “Cupid Shuffle” and whatever else was hot on the pop radio stations right now. It was always so awkward being alone during these things. My eyes tracked the groups of dancers having fun and dancing together. I deliberately chose a spot in the very back of the crowded stage so that I could make a complete fool of myself. I could only ever imagine how much more fun it would be to be included in those big crowds of friends. To my surprise and delight, Asher joined in on my dorky dancing with enthusiasm.

All too soon the MC asked us all to sit down.

“Are y’all ready to get some awards?!” he yelled into the microphone.

We all screamed back an enthusiastic, “YES!”

“We’ll begin with our adjudicated awards. Based on your score, dancers will receive Double Platinum, Platinum, High Gold, and Gold awards. When you hear your routine called, go see Robin over at the trophy table. Remember dancers, here at Star Makers, we are not competing against each other, but against a point system determined by our judges. Now let’s get started with our adjudicated awards!”

I leaned toward Asher to whispered, “What number are you?” I had a while before I had to tune back in to wait for my own award.

“Fifty-four,” she said. That meant she was probably at the beginning of the lyrical category. Her costume seemed to match my theory, so I didn’t bother to ask. She went back to running the piece of chiffon through her fingers, looking just as bored as I was.

While the MC was shouting out awards, I drew invisible patterns on the floor and laughed along with Asher as we watched one of the larger studios practice their squats in front of hundreds of people. They stood for every double platinum. Stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down. Since we were all in the Elite category, they were getting quite the workout tonight.

“I feel bad for the kids that get platinum and high gold,” Asher whispered to me.

“Preach, girl,” I said and gave her a fist bump. I couldn’t agree more. They should stand for every award, not just the best. That, to me, was way more sportsmanlike.

Asher’s number was finally called and she went up to get her double-platinum trophy. I gave her a high five when she came to sit back down. Asher seemed genuinely surprised and happy with the highest adjudicated award. It’s official, Asher’s cool.

“I really didn’t know if I’d score that well. I put my heel down to finish my quad and it was super obvious. I was right up in their faces. I don’t know why I didn’t just do a clean triple.” She shook her head, still upset about it. I was pretty sure she and I both knew that she forced the quad because mommy-dearest would have been disappointed in her for playing it safe.

“I didn’t see it, but the rest of your routine must have been on fire. Double platinum in elite is no joke.”

She smiled at me. “Yeah, I guess so,” she said, but I could tell I made her feel better because she was no longer messing with the chiffon.

“Number seventy-one, Brittney Channer, Love Song. Double Platinum!” The obnoxious studio stood up and sat back down.

“Number seventy-two, Skyler Thomas, Escape. Double Platinum!” I smiled and picked my way through the dancers, trying not to step on any fingers and toes to get my trophy.

Take that Mommy Dearest.

It was going to be another long wait before they announced the top ten. There were a ton of solos, duets, and trios to get through still.

Right now, my mom was sitting in the audience, writing down every single person’s award as it was announced. She would then count how many Double Platinums there were in my age group and try to determine what my placement would be based on the other Double Platinums.

I barely listened long enough to hear that the next two dancers both got platinum. I watched as their eyes involuntarily landed on the obnoxious studio while they sat there doing nothing to congratulate them. Platinum in elite was still an amazing accomplishment and I was half tempted to stand up for them, but I knew it would only be taken the wrong way and my mother would never let me live it down.

After what felt like an eternity, my butt was numb, and the adjudications were finally over. It was time for the top ten announcements.

They started with the twelve to fourteen-year-old soloists. This tiny little brown-haired girl was called up as the first place overall winner. She was cute and obviously shy. When the MC stuck the microphone in her face she giggled and in a soft voice, said her name is Molly.

My jaw dropped when I heard her name. So that’s Molly. She was fourteen and would be in my age group next year. My mom has had her on her radar all year. She will talk about Molly’s first-place award for a whole week. Can’t wait.

Molly says she is from the New York Theatre Academy and thanks her teachers and mom before taking the obligatory picture for the cover of next year’s competition program.

Finally, it was the moment of truth for Asher and me. The senior soloists were being announced. Tenth through sixth were from different studios all over the stage. Some of which, I’d never heard of, but good for them. This would go a long way toward gathering new students.

“And now, for your top five, elite-level senior soloists. Fifth place goes to…” a section of a jazz song came on and a girl from the obnoxious studio jumped up and ran to get her award. “Number eighty-three, Madison Wright. All That Jazz.” We all clapped for her and her studio screamed as she bounced excitedly in winner’s row.

Fourth went to another girl from the same studio and I rolled my eyes at Asher who laughed openly.

“And now, your top three senior soloists. Third overall goes to…” Asher’s head popped up and she beamed at me before standing up to get her award. “Asher Dugan, Read Me.” The MC waited until she received her trophy and the applause died down.

“Hi, Asher! Congratulations! Who choreographed this beautiful number?”

“Miss Josephine,” she said timidly.

“And what studio do you represent?”

“On Pointe Dance Academy!” She giggled. Her excitement, contagious.

I cheered loudly for her and she looked back at me beaming. I gave her a thumbs up and she turned back to face the front.

Second overall went to Reese Day. I watched all the dancers turn to whisper to each other. She was the favorite to win the whole thing; they all wanted to know who beat her. She stood up with a fake smile plastered on her face, the anger radiating off of her, but she acted excited when the MC came over to her.

“Congratulations Reece! Who choreographed this amazing number?”

“My mentor, Natasha Sudinski.”

“Great job, Natasha! And what studio do you represent?”

“The Pennsylvania Dance Conservatory,” Reece answered and the entire auditorium erupted in loud cheers for her. She was a celebrity in the dance world and everyone knew her name.

She smiled and waved to everyone, trying to keep her cool. She couldn’t afford to seem ungrateful. The whole world was watching her reaction to the one who managed to beat her.

“And now, your first overall, elite-level senior soloist is… Drum roll please!”

My song played loudly over the speakers. I wished I could share in Asher’s surprise and excitement. She was cheering for me from her place in winner’s row and I gave her a quick high five on my way to the MC, trying hard to ignore the stares and whispers from my fellow dancers.

Don’t get me wrong, winning first overall felt really good and I was glad I beat the snot-nosed Reese Day, but I didn’t really care if I got first or fiftieth. It would never be good enough for my mom. She will pick apart my entire routine, finding every flaw. It wasn’t a perfect score, so there was always going to be something I failed at.

“Congratulations Skyler!” the MC said brightly. “Is there anyone you’d like to thank today?”

“I’d like to thank my mom and all my friends and family back home for supporting me.” I’ve said this line more times than I care to count and it was hard to keep it from sounding scripted.

“Well said, Skyler! And who choreographed this award-winning routine?”

“Antonio Fuego,” I said clearly into the mic. I heard a few gasps and murmured reproaches from the dancers behind me. They know who he is and they think he is the only reason I won today. Like I cheated somehow by having him choreograph my routine. Little do they know, I hated every second of our rehearsals together.

“Congratulations, Antonio!” The MC said like Antonio was actually listening right now.

“And what studio do you represent?”

“Mountain Vista Dance Academy,” I said, even though I hadn’t attended a class there in months. They let me use their name because it was great for business and I did still take classes there in the off-season when there were no competitions.

The auditorium cheered for me as I received my first-place trophy. Reese gave me a limp, dead fish hug. Probably for her i********: followers. She didn’t say congratulations and I didn’t expect her to.

The MC shoved us together and placed me in the center for a photo before we were allowed to sit back down.

Some of the younger teens hi-fived me on my way back to the back of the stage, but they mostly just whispered and stared at me.

“I can’t believe you just beat THE Reece Day!” Asher whispered to me when I sat back down.

“You were right behind her,” I said encouragingly. “Maybe next time you’ll beat her too.”

She laughed ironically. “Yeah, sure. I don’t even know how I got third to be honest.”

I noticed her shifting her trophies, trying to catch the best light. She seemed so genuinely happy with third place. I envied her. Everyone could be happy for her. There were no whispers about how she cheated; how the judging was stacked in her favor; how she trained longer than anyone else; had the best trainers, so of course she would win.

The duets and trios still needed to receive their awards and I tried to soak up my last few minutes of freedom before I would be surrounded by everyone demanding to know how I did it; how I managed to beat Reece Day.

“What are you doing after this?” I asked Asher. I didn’t want to let my new - and let’s face it, only - friend get away.

“Probably head back to our hotel. Mom likes to make me work out and watch my video a million times.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“To try to figure out how you could have done better?” I asked, but it was not really a question. It was what my mom would make me do, too.

She laughed openly and fell over. She looked at me from the floor. “You, too?”

“Oh, yeah. Every time.”

“But you won!”

“Doesn’t matter. I can always do better. I didn’t get a perfect score, so there’s always going to be something.”

“Man…” she said. She didn’t need to say more. We understand each other. The only difference was that I could see that Asher still loves what she does. I stopped loving it a long time ago.

“Come with me after this? I want to introduce you to some people.”

“Really?” She was visibly excited.

I smiled at her. She would love this and maybe it would take the spotlight off of me for a little while. Plus, this girl from nowhere Kansas just got third place at a big New York competition. That was something to write about.

“Absolutely!” I told her. “Just stay on stage with me. I’ll be forced to take pics with all the judges and staff…and Reece.” I couldn’t help the bitter tone that escapes. “And you got third. It’s only right that the top three should be together for this.”

“Oh-my-gosh!” she said, punctuating each word. She was officially starstruck. Just wait until she gets a taste of the real Reece Day. She is an absolute treat.

We sat quietly through the rest of the awards ceremony. Asher was visibly anxious and excited for what was to come, but all too soon everyone was standing up to leave the stage.

I kept Asher by my side as a bunch of girls all asked to take a selfie with me for their i********: pages. A few asked Asher to join too and she happily accepts.

We met the judges and took pictures with the staff. I introduced Asher to the costume and dance representatives that made it onto the stage. They gave her their cards, and after an impossibly long amount of time, we were mercifully allowed to return to our dressing rooms to change.

“Finally,” I sighed in relief as I pulled on my favorite pair of sweatpants.

My mom scoffed at me. “You really should be wearing one of the outfits from the Dancewear Daily photoshoot. It’ll look better if you’re seen walking out in that instead of those ratty old sweatpants.”

“Mom,” I said looking her right in the eyes. “I was in that tight, revealing, itchy-as-F costume all freaking day. I just won this whole competition. I am wearing my sweatpants.”

“You can wear them when you get back to the hotel,” she said threateningly with a tone of finality. She held out a bag.

I sighed deeply and peered in the bag. It was worse than I could have imagined. The leggings were spandex and the sports b*a was an obnoxious shade of teal. I rolled my eyes, praying to the gods of dancewear for some cotton to magically appear in that bag. No such luck.

I pulled on the new outfit as begrudgingly as I could possibly get away with.

“I look like a fish,” I said sulkily.

“You look gorgeous,” Mom said without even looking at me. “Now, come on, let’s go. The press is waiting.”

I moaned and had to really try hard to resist the urge to stomp my feet and followed my mom out the door.

“Asher!” I yelled at her retreating form. I had lost track of her when her mom pulled her aside and I was glad she hadn’t left yet. She was also in an uncomfortable-looking outfit and I felt a stab of guilt for subjecting her to the vultures.

We caught up to her and her mom and she widened her eyes at me with a smirk. “What do you think?!” She turned in a full circle so I could see her outfit.

I snorted. “Look at us! Like two fish in the sea.”

“Skyler!” my mom admonished under her breath and I laughed loudly.

“Dinner?” I asked. I had purposefully waited until everyone was together to ask. If I had asked my mom when it was just the two of us, she would have said no, but in front of Asher and her mom, she wouldn’t be able to refuse so easily.

“I’d love to! Mom?” Asher turned a hopeful eye on her mom and we knew we won.