Diary of a Danceaholic

Entry #11: Got to Get Away

“I don’t know how you managed to talk my mom into this.”

Will and I were sitting on the beach on top of two surfboards.

Will showed up at our hotel ungodly early in the morning and my mom already had a swimsuit and towel waiting for me in a beach bag.

“Don’t forget lots of sunscreen,” she said and shoved me out the door.

“Don’t you worry about that,” Will said. “Focus,” he chastised me.

I laughed freely. “Okay, okay. Show me again.” I couldn’t stop laughing as he flipped onto his stomach, paddling at the sand, then jumped up onto the board.

“Your turn,” he said with his hands on his hips.

I laid down obediently and laughed as I paddled at the sand, then did my best impression of his smug face as I popped up like he did and stuck my thumb and pinkie out. “Cowabunga dude!”

“Perfect! You’re ready for the water!” he exclaimed.

Without even waiting for me, he grabbed his board and sprinted into the surf with a loud whoop!

I don’t think I laughed this much in a very long time. I grabbed my own board and sprinted out to meet him. I paddled out to where he was already sitting astride his board and joined him.

He was staring out at the horizon. “It’s a really calm day. It’ll be slim pickin’s for waves.”

“Now what?” I asked, taking the opportunity to study his profile. He really was super cute. His sandy blonde hair looked lighter in the sun and practically shone. I could tell he cared about his appearance, I mean, he had to; he’s a dancer, but not overly so that he looked fake. I liked that. He knew how to highlight his natural features.

“Now we wait.” He was resting his palms on the water and looked over, catching me staring, and smiled.

“How are you doing after last night?” he asked. “That was some crazy shit.”

I sighed. It was nothing I hadn’t dealt with before.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Damn girl. Your life is an episode of some dramatic tv show.”

I snorted. “I know. And that’s not even the worst of it. That’ll come this week when the rest of the country finally hears about it. Calls, emails, hate posts, press, the works.”

“How do you do it?” He asked in astonishment. “You should be enjoying life.” He gestures to the open ocean.

“I am right now,” I said timidly.

He smiled at me and splashed me laughing heartily as I squealed at the chilly water hitting my sun-soaked body.

We goofed around for a long time and never actually caught a wave. He didn’t seem to care. I was beginning to understand why Will brought me out here. It was so easy to forget the world and all the drama while on a surfboard in the middle of the ocean.

“Come on,” he said, splashing me again. “Lunchtime!”

“Sweet! I’m starving!”

“Good. Get your butt out of the water slowpoke.” He was already well ahead of me and I was racing to keep up.

I stood outside of a dinky little cafe with a short half door separating the beach from the sandy patio covered in plastic tables and chairs. “Is this where we’re eating?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” Will said with a huge grin on his face. “Best fish and chips I’ve ever had right here. Miss Betsy is the best.”

“You know her by name?” I said with a smile. “How often do you come here?”

Ignoring my question, he grabbed my hand lacing his fingers with mine with such ease it felt like we had known each other for much longer than just a day. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

He took me back into the kitchen, waving to and high-fiving the waitresses, busboys, and cooks. He pushed open another door at the back of the kitchen that led out to a big open space with grills and a barbecue pit. A huge black woman was flipping shrimp over on a grill and sprinkling seasoning on them.

“Miss Betsy!” Will called loudly with obvious affection in his voice.

“Oh, my Will!” She called back, then froze when she saw me. Her eyes flit down to our hands still laced together and back up to my face. Her hands went to her hips and a smile spread across her face.

“Have mercy, ain’t you a pretty little thing,” she said. “I’m Miss Betsy.”

“Sky,” I said sheepishly.

She just nodded knowingly and smiled. I eyed Will suspiciously.

“Y’all go and sit down. I’ll bring y’all some lunch. You like fish, honey?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said with a warm smile. I liked her instantly.

Will pulled me out onto the patio and over to a table in a quiet corner that boasted a spectacular view of the ocean.

He sat next to me so we were both looking out at the view and crossed his arms over his chest, content to enjoy the ocean view.

I never got a chance to do this. Just relax and enjoy something. My mom and I were always running around doing this-that-and-everything. It was the height of competition season right now and I was not used to being able to catch my breath. This felt so refreshing but almost wrong. I felt like I should be doing something right now; like there was something I was missing, or that I was going to be late to some meeting or rehearsal.

Miss Betsy came out with a tray loaded with fried fish, fries, grilled shrimp, and lemonades. It looked absolutely amazing and my stomach growled in anticipation.

To my delight and surprise, Miss Betsy pulled up a chair to sit with us.

“So, how do you guys know each other?” I blurted out. I was incredibly curious, and couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Oh, let me see, Will first came to me, ‘bout six years ago, perhaps? He was such a skinny little thing. Angry as all get out. His last foster family wasn’t very good to him, see.”

I dropped my shrimp in surprise. “So, you’re his foster mom?”

“Just about,” she said with a smile.

“She’s the closest I’ve ever come to a momma,” Will said. “I’m emancipated. Miss Betsy just lets me stay here.”

“As long as he keeps dancin’ and going to school, he’s got a home here. Ain’t that right, baby,”

“Yes, ma’am,” Will said with a smile.

I couldn’t believe this, but at the same time, I could see the familial affection that they had for each other and I knew for certain that if Will stopped dancing tomorrow, Miss Betsy wouldn’t abide by that. This was their home and they were a family. It was so heartwarming that I almost wanted to cry from the joy they brought to each other.

“You’re so…fit…” I said to Will laughing, “It’s hard to believe you were ever scrawny.”

“I used to be a twig. Miss Betsy fixed that real quick, didn’t you?”

She laughed loudly at that. “He went through a plump phase for a minute before he started dancin’. You had such cute cheeks back then.”

Will reddened in embarrassment and chuckled.

“So, you’ve only been dancing for a few years?”

“Mm-hmm,” he said nodding. “I threw myself into it and never looked back.” He looked over at me, munching on a fry. “I bet you’ve been dancing your whole life. Am I right?”

“Since I could walk,” I acknowledged.

“She won the whole thing last night, Miss Betsy,” Will said proudly. “Beat the pants off me in fact.”

I laughed. “No way, you were right behind me. I bet our scores were practically identical.”

“Eh,” he waved me off. “I don’t care about all that. Scores are stupid anyway. You give that exact same performance to a different set of judges and they could be totally different.”

“Tell that to Reece,” I said.

“She is a peach, isn’t she,” Will said shaking his head.

“Oh! Spill, baby doll, I wanna hear this.” Miss Betsy said.

I chuckled at Miss Betsy’s eagerness to hear a bit of juicy bit of gossip.

Will launched into the story of what happened after the awards ceremony.

Will had agreed to stay with me. Outwardly, it made sense, second place deserved just as much attention as third and first. But it was selfishly because I didn’t want to be left to deal with Reece and the press alone.

My mom had mercifully raced onto the stage to act as an additional buffer, but no sooner had she hugged me in congratulations, did Antonio come up to me to do the same.

I was surprised when he asked me who helped me make those changes. Saying he doesn’t usually like to see his choreography altered, but that he thought I made the right decision. I gave him Miss Jodi’s contact info and he called her right there on the spot to thank her for working with me.

I was floored. Apparently, Antonio was capable of being nice. How about that?

Antonio shook Will’s hand and congratulated him on his second place, offered his services, to which Will politely replied that he would think about it, but as soon as Antonio’s back was turned, Will whispered, “Not a chance in hell, buddy,”

I couldn’t stop laughing.

Then came Reece; storming over like a wrecking ball. Keeping her voice low so as not to be overheard by anyone else, “You cheated, again,” she accused. “It was Antonio piece against Antonio piece. You changed his dance.”

“You’re right. It was mine,” I said, defiantly. She was forced to step back as the press swarmed us.

We posed for an endless number of pictures and my cheeks hurt by the end, but Will was always by my side, and I felt incredibly grateful.

My mom did her best to field most of the questions, but I was still forced to answer a ton of frustrating questions. Most of them were pretty insulting.

Did you not think you could earn a high enough score with your original routine? Why did you feel you needed to make so many changes to Antonio’s routine? Did you have to get his permission before making changes? Was there a contract in place?

Reece’s questions were embarrassing and I almost felt bad for her. Almost.

“After that very public challenge, how does it feel to have received third? Another defeat against Skyler Thomas. An even lower placement than last time too.”

“Two weeks isn’t a lot of time to prepare, do you think your lack of rehearsal time contributed to your lowered score?

I had the same amount of time to prepare all the changes to mine, but that didn’t seem to matter. Reece’s answers were fake and insincere and she successfully drove the piranhas away by telling them she had an early morning flight to catch.

My mom and Reece’s mom were standing off to the side, having a pretty heated discussion and when Reece stormed over to her, her mom sneered at mine and I could clearly see her telling my mom that this wasn’t over.

These dance moms are really something. Their obsession with their daughters is psychotic at times. My mom is no exception a lot of the time, too, unfortunately.

Will had graciously answered a few questions as well, but the real story was Reece and me, so he got off easy. Will and I parted ways when I finally reached my dressing room with a promise that I wouldn’t be a stranger.

“Reece found me after I left your dressing room,” Will told me. “She actually had the balls to try to tell me you’re a cheater and will do anything to win. She said you have the judges in your back pocket and they let you win because your dad gave them fancy cars or something.”

“Oh my gosh,” I scoffed. “My dad has literally nothing to do with my dancing, except maybe occasionally booking our flights for us,” I said. “Besides, he’s in Germany right now. He doesn’t even know all this is even happening.”

“Germany, huh?” Miss Betsy said. “How excitin’.”

“I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve never been. He only goes on business and I can never come. Between competitions and trainings, I don’t have time to travel just for fun.”

“It’s okay to take a breath every once in a while, child,” she said warmly. “All this’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Tell that to my mom,” I said. “Your best years are right now,” I said in mock imitation of her voice. “We can’t go wasting them away. Your body won’t last forever. You gotta dance while you still can, blah, blah, blah,” I chuckled, but Miss Betsy just looked horrified.

“That ain’t no way to live, baby girl,” Miss Betsy pulled me into a big hug.

Tears spilled over and I couldn’t wipe them away fast enough to escape Will’s notice. He frowned at me but didn’t say anything. I didn’t know how to explain how incredibly burnt out I was feeling right now, and how relieved I was to be understood by Miss Betsy. How much I ached for a normal simple quiet life like I’d been enjoying today.

“How ‘bout some dessert, baby?” Miss Betsy asked, breaking the tension.

“I’d love some,” I said sincerely. If her desserts were as good as her lunch, I could die happy.

Miss Betsy got up and pat Will and me affectionately on the shoulders on her way to the kitchen.

“She’s good people,” I told Will with genuine sincerity.

He just nodded, looking at me with an odd expression on his face.

“Dance with me,” he said as a statement, not a question.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Right here? Right now?”

“Mm-hmm,” he said nodding.

“There’s no music,” I said, smiling.

“Stay right there,” he said and touched me on the nose lightly with this finger before disappearing into the kitchen.

About ten seconds later a slow melody began to play, followed by a gorgeous female vocalist. She was singing in a language that I didn’t know. I think it was French.

Will re-emerged from the kitchen. He kicked off his flip-flops and started moving tables out of the way. I laughed and got up to help. Before long, we had enough space to dance and Will started to move. For a moment I was mesmerized by his movements. He’s graceful and masculine and beautiful all at the same time. Then I was caught up in the music and I began to dance, too.

Before long, we started attracting an audience. The wait staff and Miss Betsy stood behind us and people stopped walking along the boardwalk to watch as well. A few people had their phones out and were taking pictures and videos.

A small voice at the back of my mind told me I should probably care that they’re filming this moment between Will and me, but I was too caught up in it to care.

Will grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up, then held my leg and we were spinning around up above his head. I threw my head back and basked in the joy of the moment and the freedom of expression that we were both feeling.

He tossed me and I let myself fly through the air before I caught myself in a crouch and rolled to the ground. He ran over and helped me up and I used the momentum to launch myself into a leap. I turned away from him and lifted my arms above my head and turned to see Will doing perfect al seconds before lifting his leg into an attitude and letting his head fall back and opening his arms. I was stunned. He was amazing. Legitimately amazing.

The song slowed and the artist sang the final notes and we were done.

Our audience of random tourists, shoppers, and waiters all cheered loudly at our performance. Will came over to me, grabbed my hand, and lifted it up. We bowed to our audience and he gave me a tight hug.

“That was amazing,” I whispered breathlessly to him.

“Now that is dancing,”

I squeezed him tighter. “Thank you, Will,”

We bowed once more as the well-wishers dispersed. An older couple came up to us to shake our hands and told us it was a beautiful dance. We thanked them wholeheartedly.

I finally found joy again, and I had Will to thank for it.

Miss Betsy cheered us on and joked that next time she should charge admission.

“I used to do that. Did you know?” Will said once we were sitting back down at our table, “dance in the streets for money.”

“No way,” I said.

“Yes way,” he said. He pointed down the street toward the busier part of the boardwalk. “Right over there. I was there most days of the summer. It started out as a way to get away from my foster family, but then I got hooked. That’s actually how I met Miss Betsy,”

“I need to hear this,” I said eagerly.

“I was dancing and Miss Betsy came up to me while I was taking a break and offered me a job bussing tables here. I was only eleven, nowhere near old enough for a job, but she figured that if I had the guts to dance in the middle of a street for a bunch of strangers, I could bus a few tables here and there.”

“Eleven,” I said shaking my head in disbelief. My heart went out to the little eleven-year-old Will.

“Eventually, I was spending more time here than anywhere else and Miss Betsy told me that if I wanted to stay on, I had to straighten up. No more fighting, no more attitude, and I had to start eating more,” he laughed and shook his head.

“It took a little while for me to finally calm down, though. I was so angry at the world for so long that it was really hard to change my attitude.”

He was quiet for a moment and I didn’t want to break his contemplative moment, so I reached over and lightly started to trace his fingers with my own. He looked down at what I was doing and a sad smile spread across his face before he gently laced his fingers through mine.

“I’ve never had a real family before Miss Betsy. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“You’re never gonna have to find out, child. Lord willin’,” Miss Betsy said, setting down a tray of peach cobbler and ice cream.

“That looks delicious, Miss Betsy,” I exclaimed.

She scooped some ice cream on top of the steaming cobbler. “You’re about to know what heaven tastes like,” she teased.

I took a large bite and groaned in content. Definitely heaven.

******

The sun was setting as we made our way back over to my hotel. Will was absently rubbing my hand with his thumb, lacing and unlacing our fingers together. I didn’t want this perfect day to end, but my mom called a couple of hours ago to tell me we had an 8 am flight back to California. I wished so badly that I never had to leave, but reality always had a way of sneaking back in to ruin the fun.

“Thank you for today, Will,” I said, trying and failing to hide the sadness in my voice.

“Eh, you’re pretty cool. It was worth it,” he said jokingly, but he tightened his grip on my hand, giving himself away. He didn’t want the day to end either.

“Don’t be a stranger, Sky. You promised.”

“I did, didn’t I?” I smiled at him.

He smiled back and pulled me to a stop. We were almost to my hotel. I could see it across the street.

“Can I ask you something?” he said, “I want to see the expression on your face when I ask you.”

“Okay?” I said, frowning at him.

“Why do you dance?”

“Oof, do you really want to know?”

He nodded and gestured for us to sit on a nearby bench.

“Before today, I honestly couldn’t say. I was so burnt out by all the competitions, and rivalries, and interviews, and photo shoots, that I had completely forgotten why I ever started doing it in the first place.”

“How ‘bout now?” he asked.

“After you and I danced together, I felt free. It was such a cathartic release of all the emotions I’ve been feeling lately and I’m addicted. I feel like I have zero control over my life except for those two short minutes on stage. That’s where I have the power to control my own destiny. I can finally let myself feel all the pain and anger and frustration I had kept bottled up for weeks, months at a time. Today, I finally felt good. I was happy. There was no anger or frustration. I didn’t feel trapped. I was just doing what I love without any consequences. I had forgotten what that felt like.

“I guess that’s why I dance. I dance because those moments are still mine alone. I get to decide what happens out there. Does that make any sense at all?”

Will gripped my hand. “That, Skyler Thomas, makes more sense to me than probably anyone else could possibly understand. You and I, we get what dance is truly for. It’s an expression. Pure and raw. A pouring out of the soul.”

“Yes. So much, yes.”

We were looking into each other’s eyes and I could feel our connection. We came from polar opposite backgrounds on opposite sides of the country, but we understood each other better than most people ever possibly could.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Will whispered and closed the gap between us. Our lips touched only briefly, but it was soft and sweet. The perfect first kiss.

“I promise,” I whispered. He gave me another sweet peck and pulled me to my feet.

“Let’s get you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”

“Ha, ha,” I said as we approached the doors to the hotel lobby.

To my surprise, my mom was sitting in one of the plush armchairs, reading a book with a cup of tea in her other hand.

“Hey, Mom,” I said tentatively, confused by her presence.

She looked up and beamed at us, “Hey, pumpkin. How was your day?”

“Good,” I said frowning.

She leaned around me making eye contact with Will. “Did you take good care of my baby girl?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with an easy smile.

“Thank you, hon.” She patted him affectionately on the arm and got up from her chair.

“I’ll give you guys a minute. Not too long, Sugar. We’ve got an early flight.” I nodded to her. “Pleasure to see you again, Will,” she said and headed down the hall toward the elevators.

“She’s nice,” Will said vaguely. He sat down in the chair my mom vacated and patted the little bit of space left next to him.

I chuckled and chose instead to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into the crook of his arm.

“I’m content,” I sighed.

“Mm,” he murmured, and I could feel the rumble of his voice in his chest.

“Sky,” he said quietly, “Will you dance with me again?”

I lifted my head to looked at him. I knew what he was asking for. He was asking for so much more than just another shared song. He was asking for a promise that we would see each other again.

“Anytime, anywhere,” I promised with as much sincerity as I could pack into those two words.

“Oh, good,” he sighed with relief and chuckled.

“I’m going to miss Miss Betsy,” I said and he chuckled quietly again.

“She’s always taking in strays. I’m sure she’ll have a place for you, too,” he teased.

“Done! Let’s go,” I pretended to get up and he tightened his grip on me, not letting me move.

“I’ll miss you, too, I guess.” I teased. “Just a little,” I pinched my thumb and finger together to show him how little I meant.

He laughed and pulled my fingers apart. “I’ll miss you this much.”

“Phew! A whole six inches! That’s a lot of missin’.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty special. I’d give you seven, but I don’t want you to go gettin’ a big head or anything.”

I smiled at him and he gave me a peck on the nose.

“It’s cold,” he whispered and rubbed my nose lightly with his knuckles.

I sniffed and tried to hide my smile. “Time to go,” Will said reluctantly. Extricating himself from the chair.

I groaned loudly as he pulled me up. We stood there hugging for a long time, letting ourselves get lost in the moment.

A loud click and a bright flash of light yanked us out of our moment.

“Crap,” I said, releasing Will. “You better go.”

I watched as an annoying fan ran down the hallway and through one of the first-floor rooms.

“I’m so sorry, Will.”

He waved it off like it was nothing, “Just remember what I said,” he said quietly and walked out the doors and away from me.

“You suck,” I said loud enough for the whole lobby to hear and stormed off to the elevators.

I spent the late-night hours trolling i********: for anything on the competition and was not disappointed. Reece’s profile had been newly set to private and since I didn’t already follow her, I couldn’t see what she posted, but lucky for me, a bunch of fans had reposted for her, so I got to see quite a few very unflattering pictures of Reece in various stages of anger, shock, disbelief and outright rage. There were even a few of me and Will. I saved those.

Morning came way too soon. I wasn’t eager to leave Florida and especially not Will, but I was ready to be far, far away from all this drama. Social media is an ugly beast, though, it tends to follow you wherever you go.