DAY'S DESTINY: ZOYA'S CHAPTER

CHAPTER 15 – CRAZY

                Days became weeks and everyone said the same thing, Day is sleeping. Yet she is not waking up despite all the efforts we tried to wake her up and that is to the point of making her bleed with a needle. When I wake up, the first thing I feel is my heart being gripped and squeezed tightly when Day comes into mind. I really thought that everything is going to be okay now but why is this happening again? I keep thinking that I must have done something very wrong in my past life or I have sinned against someone unknowingly for having this tragedies come to me one after the other. Am I suffering a retribution?

“You didn’t come down for breakfast again.” I suddenly heard Mom’s voice fill my bedroom. I looked at her at the same time that she sat down on my bed.

“I’m sorry. I’m not hungry.” I replied and I returned my gaze to my daughter. I had her crib moved to my room after that day she never woke up.

“You know, staring at her won’t make a difference and I promise you that we’re trying our best to find out what’s causing this.”

“I know mom and I’m really grateful to all of you. I couldn’t ask for a better family. It’s just that…I just feel…I feel like if I keep looking at her, I’d see her move. See her come alive or something like that.” I sighed.

“I know honey, I know but you cannot keep this up. Have you taken a look at yourself? You’re barely eating and you’re getting thinner each day. You have to stop this at once, what if Day wakes up and sees you like this?! We’re really worried about you Zoya, both of you and your daughter.”

                I heard the desperation in my mother’s voice and I can’t help but feel a twitch in my heart because I know that she’s right and deep down, I have already realized all of those things that my mother have said. “I have to keep myself together” is what I’ve always been saying to myself but my body and heart did not try to make an effort. I always end up forgetting everything else and just kept on staring at my daughter’s sleeping face like a lunatic. There are times when I think that I have already gone mad and this is me accepting it.

“You are not crying.” Zyla’s voice came next and mom was already gone hours ago.

“What?” I responded.

“Isn’t it normal for people to cry if they are sad?”

“Yeah, you’re right but sometimes people are just too sad to cry.” I found myself answering but it also made me realize that I really haven’t shed a single tear when all of this happened including that time when Josh left.

“Oh then I am too sad to cry also.” Zyla said and I gave her a small smile.

“What are you doing?” I asked, a bit panicked, when Zyla suddenly picked up Day from her crib. It took all my sane mind to stop me from grabbing Day from her. I must be really turning crazy.

“I’m going to give her a bath. She’s sleeping but her human functions are still working well.” Zyla walked to the door before turning to face me. “You also need a bath.”

                I did not go after them despite my whole body screaming for me to be near my daughter. My mind started flashing scenarios after scenarios, terrible ones. Some scenarios that will happen if I’m not near my daughter. What if she wakes up and she couldn’t see me? She might think I abandoned her. What if Zyla accidentally drowns her and won’t notice because she would think that Day is just sleeping? I clutched my head in my hands to stop the impossible thoughts. I’m going crazy, I know it but would a crazy person know that she’s crazy?

“Where’s mom and dad?” I asked Zyla when I went out of my room to find them.

“Mom’s in the hospital and she said she won’t be coming back home for the night. Dad has gone somewhere to fix something that happened at the pack house.” Zyla answered as she wrapped Day in a towel. “Do you want to put on her clothes or should I do it instead?”

“No. Actually, can you watch Day today? I need to clear my mind…need to get out of here for a while.”

                The cool air met my face as I ran through the woods in my human form, some branches started cutting my face but the pain never registered as they healed quickly. I am literally running away from everything that is happening in the house and my life but for once, I feel really relieved to be out here, away from my daughter. The guilt for thinking and doing this is still there but I need this or else I will really turn into a lunatic. I can’t turn into a lunatic because the situation doesn’t call for it and my family doesn’t need another burden. When I went deep enough in the forest, I shifted and continued running deeper into the woods. I passed by the waterfall that Zane likes to frequent a lot but I climbed higher than that until I arrived at the ruins overrun by plants climbing all over.

                My grandparents had once taken us here to show us history, our werewolf history and this is once a place where our people had lived before they moved down and settle in our current town. I had gone with my grandparents and Zane out of curiosity before but now I looked at the rotting woods and stones with interest. I felt nothing when I first saw this place but now that I’m older, I’m seeing it with new eyes. This is a place where there is a beginning and an end and yet the ruins look so much like my life. There is no end to it yet but it already looks like a ruin, horrible and tragic.