Blossom

07

 Z A R A H P O V 

“Zarah? Get up. It’s almost time for them to come,” Mariam shook my sleeping form.

“I am up,” I groaned, rolling around my bed. 

Once Mariam left my room, I started to rub my eyes; I got up to grab my clothes. I entered the bathroom and undressed. I looked down to see ‘it was a time of the month.’ I moaned out loud. I started to bang my head on the wall. 

Just great! This is what I needed right now! 

Girls are usually happy and excited about their marriage, but I wasn’t at all. I didn’t know how to tell mom about this marriage. I always thought that marriage isn’t a ring worn or a paper signed. It is not something endured but savored. It is the union of two hearts beating as one that would sacrifice for the other’s happiness and well-being.

Marriage is something so beautiful that in that natural world, it would be an opening rose, always with radiant petals left to unfurl to a warm sun. Perhaps that is why we give roses to those we love and often have them at our sacred unions. It was the opposite of what I dreamed of.

“Sweetie? Are you ready?” asked mom, who walked into the room with a big smile.

“Yes, mom,” I gave a fake smile.

I wasn’t going to let mom see how sorrow I was with this marriage. Mom walked up to me and hugged me tightly.

That was the first time I have ever seen mom smile. It transformed her from someone depressed to someone you wished you knew. But it took several minutes before I returned that smile.

“My baby is all grown up. I feel like it was just yesterday when I first held you in my ar,” she cried out. 

“Please don’t cry,” I wiped the tears from mom’s cheek.

“Come on. They are waiting. My, you look beautiful,” mom commented.

“Thank you,” I smiled that reached my eyes this time.

We walked halfway down the hallway, but I stopped walking. I was fighting within myself on whether to say yes or no. The decision that I will give is crucial to me. What would I do? Could I say yes for the sake of my mother?

“Zarah? Honey? You okay?” asked mom.

Giving mom a smiled, I responded, “I am okay, mother. Just a little nervous and scared.”

“At this time, girls are always nervous—Nothing to be afraid of. Everything will be fine, InshAllah,” she assured me. 

Nodding my head, we headed downstairs. I went up to the sofa were Mariam was sitting on and took a seat next to her, in front of Ayan. I quietly greeted the elders.

I looked up at Ayan. He was doing something on his phone like this meant Nothing to him. Like he didn’t care. Paint hit my chest. I looked down in disappointment. Was he not interested at all?

“Mashallah, child, you look gorgeous. Right Ayan?” she nudged her elbow at his rib.

“What? Yeah yeah,” he waved it off.

“So what do you do?” mom questioned, Ayan. 

“Nothing right now. Just studying business,” he answered, not taking his eyes off his phone.

“Ohh. What do you want to be when you grow up?” She questioned, sipping on her tea.

“What else do people do with a business degree? Starting a business,” he said in duh.

I looked at Mariam. She looked at Ayan, ready to knock his face off. He was so rude to mom. I was about to say something, but mom stopped me by grabbing my hand. I quietly sat down.

“I am sorry, son. I don’t understand that kind of stuff,” mom gave him an apologetic smile. He did not deserve an apology. He was very rude and disrespectful toward her. 

“Then what do you understand? Only cleaning and cooking the house?” he joked, which was very lame. No one was laughing as much as he was. Ohh! I can’t wait to get my hands on him. 

“Ayan,” his mother warned.

“It’s okay. He is still a child. Not fully grown up yet,” mom said.

“Excuse me. I am 20 years old. I am a fully grown man,” Ayan crossed his hand over his chest.

“Sure, don’t act like one,” muttered Mariam.

“I apologize,” mom said once again. 

“Whatever,” he muttered.

“Oh, dear! My fault, you must be hungry. Please come,” mom offered.

“Who cooked?” asked Ayan.

“I did. Zarah wasn’t feeling well,” she answered.

“Already started to act lazy. You better get used to cooking everyday darling because you will be cooking for me,” he winked.

He was so dead. How can he talk like that in front of all these adults? He must have lost his mind. Did he forget about his manners? Mariam was ready to lunge at him; I was giving him the dirtiest look ever. I know Mariam was about to lose her temper.

They took a seat and started to eat, but not before Ayan made me serve everybody. He thinks that was a just-right thing to do. The grown-ups were talking about their stuff. Ayan was still not paying attention.

I sat next to Mariam. I was holding onto her fist. I know one of his stupid comment, Mariam will kill him right there.

“So, what is your decision about this proposal soon?” Asked mom.

“It’s a yes from me,” he answered.

“Alhamdulillah. What about you, Zarah?” she turned toward me.

This was it. This what I have been waiting for. Mariam squeezed my hand, and I looked at her. Mariam was pleading her eyes, not to say yes.

“My-My answer. I- I believe that-”

“Stops stuttering and just say yes,” Ayan commanded, rolling his eyes at me. 

“Ayah,” Mariam threatened with her voice.

“I- I am sorry, but my answer is no,” I finally said.