Phoenix

Chapter 10

    Sunday morning I woke up to my phone ringing.  The annoying screaming tone, rudely jerking me from my slumber.  I jumped up looking for it.  Stupid phone, I dug through the blankets following the sound.  Norra was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear my shower running. Finally under the bed I found it.  Liam’s name shone across the screen.  A wave of relief was over me I smiled and quickly opened it, 

 ‘Liam, thank goodness I tried to get ahold of you last night.’ I said, cheerily rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I was taken aback by the woman’s voice on the other line. 

‘Hi, Is this Olivia?’ Said a kind voice on the other line. Who the heck was this?

 ‘Ummm. yes. I’m sorry, whose speaking?’ I asked nervously.  I heard a sigh on the other side of the line.  

‘Hi Olivia, my name is Gail, I’m Liam’s mother.’ Oh, wow. Ok so she really did want to talk to me, he wasn't lying.  My brain was still half asleep and I was trying to process what was going on. 

‘Olivia?’ She asked, obviously I had been thinking too long.  

‘Sorry, yes I’m here, Hi’ I answered, trying not to let her hear me yawn. She sighed again, 

‘I’m afraid my call is not really a pleasant one.’ She said sombrely.  Oh no, was he breaking up with me? Making his mother make the call? what the hell. 

‘Hunny, Liam went hiking yesterday and he didn’t come home.’ She said jerking me back into the reality.  What? I didn’t say anything.  I was horror struck.  Norra came out of the bathroom and the look on my face must have been crazy because she instantly looked like she had seen a ghost. The voice on the other line spoke again, 

‘Olivia? Hunny? Are you ok?’ Norra took my phone from me, 

‘Hi. This is Norra, Olivia’s friend.  I think she is in shock.’ I sat down on the bed, a wave of nausea washing over me.  I could hear her talking in the background.  My mind however, was shattered.  I pulled my knees up to my chest and began rocking back and forth.  Norra turned to me.  

‘Olivia?’ Norra asked quietly. I stared straight ahead rocking myself.  Like a baby trying to keep myself from crying.  

‘Olivia?’ She touched my shoulder as if to try and soothe me.  I looked up at her. 

‘Gail would like to talk to you.’ I pleaded with her for strength. she nodded and handed me the phone.  

‘H.H.H.ii,’ I managed to stutter out.  

‘Olivia, don’t worry ok, as soon as he comes home I will tell him to call you ok? He’s with his brother and they are both very avid hikers.  Knowing them they went too far and had to camp out for the night. I wouldn't have bothered calling but he left his phone on the counter and I saw you had called a few times. Don’t worry too much ok dear?”  She said sweetly 

‘oook.’ I stuttered again.  But how was I supposed to do that? 

‘Olivia?’ She said quietly.  

‘Yea,’ I whispered.  

‘Thank you for giving my little boy someone to love.’ She whispered it quietly. The tears spilled over my eyes, like burning hot embers, burning my cheeks. I sobbed into the phone and on the other end I heard the crying start there too. I felt bad for upsetting her, but it felt good to cry.  

‘I’m sorry,’ I said.  

‘Don’t be she answered.  For a long time we sat on the phone. Sobbing and sniffling.  I wished desperately that I could reach through the phone and hold her.  

‘Gail?’ I asked, 

She mumbled into the phone. ‘Mhmm’ 

“Thank you for making such a sweet man to love me.’ I meant it insistently.  I needed him.  I could feel myself changing with him. It had been such a short time and I probably seemed crazy. But something told me we were meant to be. 

‘Ok Olivia, go have some breakfast and coffee.  His dad and other brothers are out looking for them.  I will make sure he calls you ok?’ I nodded as if she could see me.

 ‘Ok.’ The other line went dead.  I didn’t eat though.  Instead I curled myself up in my bed and let the tears flow.  Please lord let him be ok. The streaks of tears had spread onto my pillow.  Norra had brought me some breakfast. I didn't want it. 

‘Thank you,’ I said, although I didn’t really mean it.  I just wanted to be left alone.  My heart felt entirely crushed.  I really didn’t know Liam that well.  But I was not done getting to know him. Not by far. I wanted to call his cell phone but I figured it was just a waste of time.  His mom would answer not him.  Norra stuck around all day. Once in awhile she would come to check on me but I didn’t answer much.  She looked heart broken trying to cheer me up.  But I didn’t know what to do to help her.  I wasn’t really up for being chatty.  The seconds on the clock ticked by slowly.  Around three she came up and tapped on my door, 

‘Liv? Hey, any news?’ I shook my head in reply.  Fresh tears flowing from my eyes. 

‘I’m sorry hun, he’s tough he’ll be ok.’  I stayed silent.  No words were coming to me.  

‘Hey Liv?’ I gave her a quick grunt in reply. 

‘Want to go for a walk maybe?’ I shook my head again.  

‘Ok, I’m sorry for bugging you.  If you need me I will be downstairs.’  I nodded again.  She closed the door and I heard her footsteps go down the stairs.  Around six she came up again. Tapping gently once more.  

‘Hey Liv, you should eat something, here’s a light dinner.’ I grunted once more.  A different voice more bossy echoed across my room.  

‘Olivia Dawson!’ Peyton? I didn’t turn to look. 

‘You get your sulky ass out of that bed, come eat dinner with us!’ Norra quietly whispered to Peyton. But she was having none of the excuses. 

‘Norra, I don’t care why she is upset. She knows nothing.  For all we know he got on a trail he liked, decided to stay longer and is almost home by now.  Now get your ass out of that bed before I drag you out.’ I didn’t move.  I wasn’t a person to swear but I was prepared to throw an f bomb at Peyton.  

‘Olivia I am not asking you again.  Get out of that bed.  I will tell Liam how you went into sulky mode when he disappeared for a few hours.  How do you expect to survive his next tour?’ she had a point there.  He would be going overseas again one day.  Wait! No!, She wasn't my boss. This is what I needed to do to get me through today. 

‘Peyton leave me alone.’ I replied, holding the f bomb in too the best of my ability.  She knew me too well by now though.  She could see I was breaking. 

‘Liv, when he goes back to afganistan you won’t hear from him for weeks and months.  You will never know what is going on.  You need to toughen the hell up.’ I didn’t reply.  I knew she was right.  But it was so hard. 

‘Liv, quit you need to get up.  You’ve been in bed all damn day. Everyone is worried about you.’  Had it been that long?  That made me worry more about him.  

‘Liv, I’m not kidding I will tell him.  If you’re going to be like this over him going hiking you will not be able to handle him going overseas.’ Another good point, dammit.  Sometimes she made me so mad.  

‘Liv, you need a shower, your hair is greasy and you stink. I’m going to run you a bath.  You are getting in it even if I have to throw you.’ She sounded like she meant business. God sometimes she was so bossy.  I heard the water start and decided against my own will to get up.  She would probably make good on her promise.  I was sitting on the edge of my bed when she came back in.  She smiled, 

‘I win, I put some bubbles in.  Go get in and then come downstairs when you are done.  We’re making spaghetti.’ I nodded but I didn’t smile.  I locked myself in the bathroom and stripped down.  Then I lowered myself into the hot sudsy water.  It felt good.  My body was aching from not being used all day.  I washed my hair, my face, my body.  I let the soap soak into my skin. The aroma waking me from my coma.  When I was finished I stepped out and brushed my teeth.  It felt good to get rid of the fuzz on them.  Then I went to my closet.  Grabbed some jeans and a tshirt and got dressed.  I noticed from the corner of my eye a blue light flashing on the corner of my phone.  I ran to it and picked it up.  A missed call? I pressed all the buttons, Liam? Oh no what had Gail heard? I called her back immediately and was surprised by the voice on the other end. 

‘Hey beautiful.’ Liam said with a sultry drawl. what? I started to sob, the words coming from my mouth almost incoherrant. 

‘Liam? Oh my god, how could you do that to me? I am so mad at you.’  I almost shouted it into the phone. 

He was trying to  calm me from twenty five hundred miles away but it wasn’t working.  The sobs wracking my body.  I let the tears flow, I let the wails escape my lips.  All the while Liam was comforting me,

             ‘I’m sorry Love, I’m so sorry.  Please don’t cry, I’m coming home tomorrow.  Olivia, please calm down, I’m sorry.’ Half an hour later, I was still sobbing, he was still apologizing and someone knocked on my door.  I sobbed out, 

             ‘come, come, come in.’ I sobbed through my snotty nose. Peyton, entered.  I smiled at her through my tears and runny nose and gave her a thumbs up. She nodded understanding and headed back down stairs.  Another half hour later I was trying to calm myself.  Taking deep breaths, hoping to soothe the hiccups that had started from the hysterical crying.  Liam was still apologizing.  

             ‘Olivia, please, please stop crying, you are breaking my heart.’ Liam pleaded with me. I steadied myself with another deep breath, 

              ‘I’m ok, im just emotional.  Where were you?’ I asked. He sighed,                     

            ‘Well, we were hiking and my brother, Todd fell of the trail.’ I gasepd, I had under stood from gail that they were up in the mountains. He continued his story, 

             ‘He fell a hundred feet,bouncing off trees and rocks.  It took me until night to get down to where he was.’  I stayed silent letting him talk.  

              ‘I built us a camp for the night and doctored him up, in the morning I built a stretcher and drug him as far as I could.  Which was not quite halfway.  Then we had to camp again, he had the satelite phone when he fell and it was in pieces so there was no calling for help.  In the morning I was dragging him down the path when search and rescue showed up in a helicopter to get us.  I would have called you earlier but I left my phone with mom.’  He said, explaining the lack of communication. I sat quiet for a minute.  An angry hiccup threatening to surface.  When it passed I whispered, 

‘is Todd ok?’ He laughed, 

‘Yes, a sprained ankle, the big baby made me carry him over a sprained ankle.’ I laughed too, that was pretty funny.  

“Olivia, you can’t worry so much about me.  I’m leaving in the spring again and you won’t hear from me for weeks.'  He said sincerely. I knew he was right. But I didn't want that to happen. I wasn't sure that I was prepared for it. How would I deal if I couldn't hear from him for three months. Especially knowing that he was in danger everyday.   

“I know.” I whispered quietly.  I knew he was right and I would have to learn to function without him. It wasn't going to be easy. 

“Liam.” I said into the receiver.  

“Yes love?” He asked.  

“I’ll work on it.” I promised him. 

"Good. Because, if you can't handle it Olivia, you need to let me know so that I can let you go." He said sincerely. 

"No!" I yelled it. I hadn't meant to. But it came out loudly. 

"Olivia," He tried to interrupt me but into a tirade I went. 

"Liam you cannot talk that way. I don't know what I would do if you broke up with me. We haven't even spent much time together." I continued. 

"Olivia," Liam tried again. 

"Liam you're the first boyfriend I have ever had." I continued on past his words. 

"Really?" I heard from the other end. Ummm s**t. What did I just say. 

"Really what?" I asked him honestly not remembering what I had said to him. 

"You've never had a boyfriend before?" He asked me. 

"ummm....." I was quiet for a moment, pondering how to approach this question without sounding like a total dweeb to him. 

"Olivia?" he asked me again. Pushing for an answer that I didn't want to give. 

"No. I've never had a boyfriend before." I blurted embarrassed at my answer. 

"Don't judge me please." I pleaded with him. Hoping that he wouldn't want rid of me just because of my inexperience. 

"Why would I judge you?" He asked me innocently. 

"Because, I'm such a square." I said quietly. 

"I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been on a date before the other night. I had never kissed anyone before you." I said. He was quiet for a moment. I assumed trying to figure out how to tell me he changed his mind. 

"You really are innocent Olivia. I love that about you." he said, somber but kindly. I smiled into the phone. Oh I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to make love to him. Even though I had no idea how to. I knew I could figure it out . 

   "Liam," I said, knowing he probably wanted to go to bed. But not wanting to let him go. 

"Hmmm," He said sleepily into the phone. 

"Goodnight." I whispered, knowing he needed to go to sleep. 

"Nigh," He said, barely audible. I shut the phone off and went down to eat supper with the rest of them.