Forbidden Lovers

My Destiny

The first thing Evelyn felt as soon as she opened her eyes was a sharp pain that pierced through her abdomen. Everything was blurry at first, at least until she was able to focus and look at a messy Arthmael across the room, sat down on a chair, his fingers curled on her disheveled hair and his forehead rested on his hands.

He looked like he had gone through hell.

Still hot though, but it wasn't the time to appreciate his good looks right now.

"Hey Julian," she said softly as she looked at the younger man, sat down on the edge of her bed, lost in his thoughts.

Julian jumped off the bed instantly, his eyes and mouth wide opened in shock. "Eve!? Eve you're awake!"

She looked at the way Arthmael reacted, snapping out of his sleepy phase and blinking several times as if he couldn't believe she was really awake right there in front if him. And she too noticed the way he forced himself not go to her and take her in his arms too.

"Hey Arthmael," she greeted too on a small, almost timid voice, her lips curling into the smallest, softest of smiles but that was enough to make his heart hover in his rib cage.

"Oh God, finally." It seemed he couldn't resist it, he walked to her and took her hand on his, bringing it to his lips and kissing every single chuckle while looking at her the whole time. Honestly, Evelyn wondered how it was possible for Julian not to realize the truth right in that exact moment. There was so much love and longing and relief in his eyes, it could be seen from miles away.

"You're alright," she whispered, the image of him bleeding everywhere after he had protected her never leaving her eyes.

Arthmael sighed, running his other hand through his hair. She had just gain consciousness and the first thing she thought about was him. "I'm not the one you should worry about... Your Grace. You've been unconscious for days... I," He shook his head, searching to correct himself before it was too late. "We- we were really worried."

Evelyn's eyes widened. "Days?!"

"Yeah, days," Julian answered, but before he was able to say anything else, Estelle opened the door with a loud bang, running to Evelyn and hugging her so tight, Evelyn couldn't seem to breathe anymore. "Stelle, she's still injured," he pointed out, and only that made Estelle finally let go off Evelyn. Tears filling up her eyes, and Evelyn smiled emotionally at her. How much worried these people had really been for her?

It was a strange feeling, being used to people caring about her. Usually people didn't give a damn if Evelyn just vanished from existence.

King Robert, accompanied by the elf healer entered the room and it was like Evelyn's day got ruined only by looking at him.

"You're finally awake," he stated, almost as if he had been annoyed by her absence all these days. Which was stupid to even consider, yet Evelyn somehow did.

"I'm finally awake," she repeated on the same tone of voice as him, brushing the collar with her fingertips, letting him know she knew he hadn't removed the collar although she risked dying there for days.

The elf healer started focusing his magic on her abdomen for a few silent seconds, all waiting to hear what he had to say. And the way his face twisted and then he looked at her almost in pity formed a lump on her throat.

Evelyn had a bad feeling; she didn't know why, she just did.

"And?" Julian asked the old man, impatiently. "She'll get better, right? She'll heal?"

The old elf nodded once. "Her Grace will, in a week or two she'll be perfectly fine..."

Arthmael let out a sigh of relief as he tried telling her with his eyes only that everything would be alright now.

"...However," the healer continued, gaining everyone's attention once again. The traces of pity and sympathy written all over his face as he looked at Evelyn and Evelyn only. "I'm so sorry to say this, Your Grace..." he hesitated.

"What is it?" Evelyn felt her hands shake slightly. Suddenly she was feeling nauseous, that's how nervous she was. "Please, tell me what is it," she insisted when the healer looked at Robert as if he was scared to talk.

"I'm really sorry to tell you that you can't... have children anymore, Your Grace."

Silence. A grave silence fell in the room but still the words couldn't sink in no matter how much Evelyn tried making sense of them. She couldn't have children?

How? Why?

But she already knew why. Yet it didn't mean this didn't feel like only a bad dream she wanted to wake up from.

"You can't heal her, you can't do anything?" It was Robert who spoke, and he sounded mad but still the voice felt like it was coming from miles away, from the end of a dark tunnel she didn't believe she'd ever find the light anymore.

"There's nothing I can do, Your Majesty."

The pity in Estelle and Julian's faces was too much to handle, but somehow it was better to look at them that to look at Arthmael. She couldn't look at Arthmael, not anymore.

And still, the reality didn't seem to make sense in her head just yet. The fact that she would never have her own babies. She would never have twins.

Babies would never come around the house, giggling and calling her 'mommy'.

She'd never be a mother.

"Evelyn..."

Evelyn raised her hand to stop Estelle from approaching, comforting her but Estelle had no idea she'd only make it worse; Evelyn had hated people pitying at her her entire life. "Please leave me alone. All of you." Her voice was cold as ice, and for a second she thought her heart had became that too.

"Are you sure you want to be alone? We can stay and―"

"Julian," she cut him off. "Please," she added, but it wasn't a pleading, it was an order.

They did as they were told, not before trying to reassure Evelyn that everything would be alright and she'd be able to go through this, however Arthmael got out from the room, using the door and got inside from the balcony in only five minutes. If she thought he'd leave her alone right now, she was highly mistaken.

His heart ached. He had expected her to be sobbing, crying her heart out but she hadn't shared one single tear so far, he could notice by the icy mirror her eyes had become. She was only staring blankly, her face voice of every emotion or feeling or even sadness.

And it terrified him.

For a few minutes that felt like lifetimes, he only stared at her. Hoping she'd look at him back, hoping there would be a trace of hope in her eyes but still nothing. She looked lost.

"Evelyn," he finally got the courage to speak to her, approaching the bed in hesitant steps.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" 

A shiver ran down his spine because of the tone of her voice only. And still she didn't look at him.

"You did but I'm not about to do that." Arthmael sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking her hair softly, but surprisingly she didn't move away. She didn't lean her face on his hand either. It was like she was a statue, like the Evelyn he knew was lost somewhere in the pit of emptiness and he didn't know a way to bring her back.

"Why? Because you feel bad for me, because you pity me?"

"Evelyn." He cupped her cheeks with his big hands, forcing her to look at him but even when she did it was a cold stare. "Look at me, I don't pity you. I admire you for being this strong and for being able to go through all this, but you can let it out when you're with me." He wrapped his arms around her, and finally she rested her face in his chest. It was something simple, but it gave him hope. "You can cry, you can even scream if you want, go and yell at Robert but don't suppress it. Believe me it will only make it worse."

Slowly, hesitantly, she wrapped her arms around him too, seeking comfort and this time he smiled sadly. "I'm not suppressing anything." Suddenly, she sounded a bit mad, and it was better than no emotion at all. "It doesn't matter, I'm married to a man I hate so it doesn't even matter, it's not like I'd have babies anyway."

Arthmael realized she was trying to convince herself more than him. And only then he let her words sink in for real. He had been so worried about her, he hadn't thought this all through before.

He would never be a father too. He would never be the father of her babies but he'd never be a father anyway because there was no way he'd ever think of being with someone else; even if he couldn't have her, even if he couldn't have babies.

Tears filled up his eyes, and he didn't know if they were tears of anger, of sadness or misery. But he only held her tighter, kissing her hair. Evelyn thought he was comforting her but the truth was she was comforting him more right now.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "So sorry for everything, so sorry for not protecting you, this is all my fault."

"It isn't, none of this is your fault." Her voice had turned from cold to sad. "I think this is my destiny, to be miserable and to bring misery wherever I go, so you should go before it's too late."

His chuckle was sad. Like he couldn't believe she was still saying this. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You should, you really should." Finally, she raised her head and gazed up at him. "You should go and choose another mate..." Even saying it, it was torture. "I don't know, someone else, maybe Estelle... Someone who can accept your mark and be with you and give you children and―"

"Shhh stop, stop." Arthmael left a small kiss in her lips so she could stop talking... so he could still feel that despite her words, she wanted him like he wanted her. "I love you." Only when the words had left his mouth he realized he had basically confessed his love to her for the first time. But Evelyn's eyes shone with tears and right then, he realized there was no bigger truth in his life but this. "I love you very much and I don't care that I can't mark you or that we can't have children or anything else as long as you're with me, so please stop saying it and tell me you love me too instead."

Tears ran down Evelyn's face freely, not really knowing if she was sad or happy. "I told you... that day." She rested her face in his chest willingly this time.

"It doesn't mean I don't wanna hear it again." He couldn't see her face but somehow he felt her smiling in his chest. And the fact that he had made her smile swelled his chest with pride.

Minutes passed in silence, making Arthmael think she was now sleeping in his chest. Closing his eyes, he felt he wanted to sleep now too.

But his eyes opened wide when he heard her speak, her voice a small muffled whisper, "I think I love you more."