The Alpha and His Song

Not Mates Pt. 1

Keaton Daniels stared at the walls of his temporary room. I was missing my home, family, and friends. I’d been spending time at an allied pack for training. I still couldn’t believe Lisa wasn’t my mate. I’d been so sure. My drifted back to my birthday. Keith was sitting with me when the clock struck midnight. He said, “Happy Birthday, little brother.” I snorted, “Thirty seconds. You are thirty second older than me.” Keith asked, “Why isn’t Lisa with you?” I shrugged, “She thought it would be more romantic this way.” Keith rolled his eyes. I said, “I know you don’t like her, but she’s my mate.” Keith said, “You don’t know that, and I seriously doubt it, Keaton.” I frowned, “She said I smell strongly to her.” Keith said, “Yet she’s not here beside you. I seriously doubt your mate will be some fake girl who separates you from everyone you love.” I said, “Hey! She’s not fake.” Keith said, “Her voice is so fake it hurts, but she got you to defend her over it. When she’s around Keaton, none of your friends want to be. Mom doesn’t even like her.”

I said, “Mom is nice to her.” Keith said, “Mom is the former Luna. She’s nice to the pack members. It doesn’t mean she likes Lisa for you.” I huffed, “Well, she’s my mate. She’ll be my Luna.” Keith asked, “I again circle back to my original point. Why isn’t she here? The answer is clear. It’s because she knows you aren’t her mate. She’s playing you.” I yelled, “She’s not! You’ll see.” Keith sighed as I ran out the door. I shifted into my wolf, Channing. I asked, “Do you smell her?” I didn’t, but maybe my wolf did. Channing said, “I don’t smell anything that would be our mate.” He was quiet. I knew he’d bonded with Lisa wolf, Lady. He liked Lady. He wasn’t as convinced she was our mate, but he did like her. He felt protective of her. Channing said, “It looks like that’s my Alpha blood being protective of a pack member.” I caught my parents' smell. Along with my older brother Emmett and his mate. They were watching me. I ran behind a tree and shifted back. I had to go to Lisa’s house.

I ran there and knocked on the door. Her dad opened it smiling. He said, “She’s upstairs.” Keith’s words were ringing in my ears. If she thought she was mine why wasn’t she down here? I said, “Can you ask her to come down here?” Her dad studied me frowning. He nodded and closed the door. I stood there waiting for her. She opened the door. She had tears streaming down her face. I whispered, “You lied to me.” She cried, “No Keaton. I didn’t!” I said, “You don’t smell nice to me. You don’t smell bad, but my wolf doesn’t think your smell is anything special. You….You had me believing we were mates.” Lisa threw her arms around my neck. She said, “You do smell great to me and my wolf, Keaton. Lady is devastated.” Channing huffed unhappily in my mind. Lisa cried, “Please don’t end this. Not yet, Keaton. We just know we have an end date now. I love you, Keaton.” I said, “We need some space. We can talk about this later.” Lisa clung to me. She said, “Please…” I told her, “I’m not saying this is over, but it hurts Lisa. I thought we were forever.” She whispered, “We still could be.” I told her, “No, I want my mate and you do too. You’ve told me so a million times. I need to go.” Lisa whispered, “Happy Birthday Keaton.” I snorted. Yeah. Happy freaking birthday to me.

I ran away from her house. I shifted and howled. My heart didn’t break like it should’ve. I almost felt relief. I felt a wolf behind me. I knew who it was. I also knew if Emmett wanted to overtake me or catch up to me he could. Emmett and his wolf, lightning, were the fastest wolf around. Clara Miller, who would be my beta linked me, “I’m sorry Keaton. I know you liked her.” I replied, “No one else did.” Clara linked, “True. I’m not unhappy she won’t be my Luna. She’d be a bad one, but I am sorry one of my best friends is in pain. Happy Birthday Keaton.” She closed our link knowing I needed space.

I shifted back and said, “You can come over here, Emmett.” He shifted and grabbed some shorts. He threw them at me. I asked, “Shouldn’t you be in bed with your mate?” Alexandria was the perfect Luna and mate. I thought Lisa and I would have what they did. What my parents did. Channing linked me, “Not really. Our relationship was never like theirs.” He wasn’t wrong. I tried. I tried to be the best I could for Lisa, but she always found fault in everything I did. I didn’t stand up for her fast enough, I didn’t spend enough on our dates, the one that hurt the most was our first time together. I’d taken her away and decorated up an old cabin we’d found together many years before. She hated it. She wanted a presidential suite at a hotel. I’d messed up. I thought it was romantic. I was never enough for her in bed either. She’d made that quite clear.

Emmett said, “I’m right where I need to be. I’m right where Alexandria wants me to be. Are you ok, Keaton?” I whispered, “She was supposed to be my forever. I feel stupid. I feel like she lied to me.” Emmett said, “Maybe she did. Or maybe she didn’t want to admit it to herself since she’s had her eyes on you since you were kids.” Keith’s words came out of my mouth, “Then why wasn’t she with me when midnight hit? Why wasn’t she waiting in her living room like her dad. She knew and she hoped I would just go away when I figured it out. Then she could talk to me today during my party. Or come to me before the party. I don’t know. It seems like a dumb plan. Maybe it wasn’t a plan like I think. Maybe she was just tired.” Emmett said, “Alexandria always smelled good to me. I don’t think Lisa was the only one who knew deep down you weren’t mates. I had a party going the night of her eighteenth birthday so when midnight hit everyone knew Alexandria was officially mine.” I pointed out, “You knew though. Emmaline told you.” Emmett said, “I’ve also seen Emmaline’s face when you’ve mentioned Lisa is your mate near her. Her face scrunched up. The only fairy I know with a poker face is Haley. It was clear Lisa wasn’t yours. You’re not unobservant, so you’ve definitely noticed Emmaline Lyons' face when you’ve said Lisa is your mate.”

I asked, “Why didn’t you say anything? Keith does all the time, but you never do.” Emmett said, “You didn’t listen to Keith and he’s your twin. Like I said Keaton, I think you did know on some level. I’ll tell you I’m sad your heart is broken, but I’m not sad she’s not your mate. I’ve never liked how she treated you. You are a fun loving guy until she’s around. Then you're defensive and you seem to second guess everything you are going to do or say. I don’t agree with how everyone goes about talking to you about her. They’ve created this you two versus everyone which pushed you two together. It’s a bonding experience to feel like it’s you against the world. I don’t have a high opinion of Lisa, but she is a pack member. I’ll always protect her from outside forces. I just wish I could’ve protected my little brother from her.” I said, “I’m not a little kid anymore, Emmett.” Emmett said, “No, but you’ll always be my little brother. You deserve better Keaton. You tried to give Lisa the world all the time, and she constantly spat at your attempts. You have a heart of gold, and you are fiercely protective.”

I sighed, “She’s upset. She doesn’t want to break up.” Emmett sighed, “Of course she doesn't. She wants you to be her chosen mate. I heard her.” I shook my head, “No, we’ve both said we want our mates. She’s just reacting. She didn’t mean that.” Emmett offered, “I think she very much meant it.” I sighed, “I’m not going to decide now what we should do about our relationship. My mind won’t change about wanting my mate though. I need time to breathe. Is there anything you need done in a different pack where I can get some space?” Emmett nodded, “Of course. Alpha Mike McDermont in Gray Stone asked me for someone to lead some training exercises. I think you and Keith would be perfect. I was going to ask you anyway. I’ll have mom get your assignments for the rest of the year. You and Keith can finish the year outside the pack and school. I think the distance would be good.” I agreed, “Yeah, I think it will be good. Do you think the school would agree?” Emmett snorted, “Of course they will. Dad donates money for everything. They have a new football stadium because of our family. The administration, mom and dad will make this happen.” I hugged him. I said, “Thank you, big brother.” Emmett said, “I’d do anything for you Keaton.” I knew he would.

Someone cleared their throat. I shook the memory of that night off. I stood and saw Keith. He said, “We need to get to Alexander and Melanie’s mating ceremony, Keaton.” I nodded. I asked, “Who is popping us in?” Keith said, “Annie is coming for us in five minutes.” I smoothed out my shirt. I asked, “Will she be there?” Keith snorted, “Will Lisa be at a mating ceremony she wasn’t invited to after avoiding all the Conners like the plague? No, little brother. She’s not coming.” I asked, “Is she ok?” Keith sighed, “Only because I love you do I know she’s fine. More than fine.” I asked, “What does that mean?” Keith winced, “She’s been seeing a warrior.” I yelled, “We aren’t even broken up!” Keith said, “Well, maybe she thinks you are.” Channing was annoyed. Before we left she gave this big speech about how much she loved me. How much Lady loved Channing. She didn’t want us to end. Then she’s been spending time with someone else.

I asked, “Who?” Keith gave me a look, “You know who.” I did. Any time Lisa would break up with me she’d flaunt her best friend in my face. Justin Herford. She never cared about my feelings about them hanging out. She told me I was being possessive. I’m pretty sure it’s not possessive and the we are just friends excuse doesn’t fly when they’ve hooked up several times. I felt foolish. Annie popped in and grabbed us both then popped away.

My mom saw me first. She hugged me tightly. She said, “Oh, I’ve missed you boys. Allison is losing her mind. Arden is sad too.” Allison and Arden were our youngest siblings. Allison already had her mate, TJ Conners. We’d known since mom was pregnant. I asked, “Where are they?” Lexi said, “They both already had play dates set up with other children in our pack. I didn’t think they should have to cancel. This night isn’t going to end until well past their bedtime. TJ is pouting.” I snorted. Him and I both. Except somehow he had more of a reason than I did even though he was significantly younger than me.

We took our seats. I couldn’t help but be happy for Alexander. He did seem to be in a much better mood. I still couldn’t believe what happened to Melanie. I would be keeping a very close watch on Allison. She wasn’t going to fall out of my life and relegate our relationship to phone calls and emails. Nope. I didn’t even like cookies. So I couldn’t be spelled by a cookie to be convinced to leave Allison alone. Thank god TJ wouldn’t let that happen because they’d already met. I glanced at Jason and Tristan McAlister. I couldn’t imagine how guilty they felt. I really didn’t want to.

When we got to the reception I just looked around. Would I ever have this? Channing answered, “Of course we will. We will find our mate, and we will have this. We just turned eighteen.” I sighed. I saw Emmaline Lyons alone at the drink table. I walked over to her. She smiled, “Hello Keaton.” I answered, “Hi Emmaline….I was just wondering….Do you know my mate?” She frowned, “I’m sorry Keaton. I don’t.” I nodded, “Ok thanks.” Emmaline grabbed my hand and said, “I know she’s out there. I just haven’t heard her name or seen her picture. I could ask Aria. She’s better than I am already.” I shook my head, “No, I just turned eighteen. I’ll wait.” Emmaline told me, “She’ll be amazing, your mate.” She looked like she wanted to say something else. I encouraged her, “Say what you want.” Emmaline said, “You have a good soul Keaton. I also know you feel like you should be more heartbroken than you are. You’re relieved. Sometimes we know we deserve better, but we settle. You’re more upset because you thought everything was settled for you. You’re relieved that the girl you thought it was settled with isn’t you mate. Don’t feel bad about that.” I was stunned. I shouldn’t be surprised that Emmaline could read me so well. She’d articulated what I was struggling to say out loud. I nodded to her and went to sit down.

My dad sat down to me next. He handed me a beer. I smiled at him and took a sip. He said, “I love you Keaton.” I smiled, “I know. I love you too, old man.” He smiled at me. He told me, “The house isn’t the same without you and Keith there.” I honestly answered, “I miss home. It’s been a nice break though. It’s one I needed. I feel like I’ve gotten some clarity. Did you ever fall in love before you met mom?” My dad was quiet for several moments before he said, “No, I didn’t. There were times I had girlfriends I thought I was in love with. I knew they weren’t my mate, and I was happy when they found theirs. You know I was young and dumb and made some mistakes that hurt your mother. I was trying to be a good guy, but I didn’t consider how that would affect your mom. I know your situation is nowhere near the same, but now you know Lisa isn’t your mate. Just think about how your mate would feel if you were still with Lisa. You obviously do not have to do anything…Just think about how you would feel in that situation. If your mate stayed with a guy after finding out they weren’t mates when they’ve been together since they were fourteen. You might have some questions on whether they wanted to be chosen mates.” I growled. My dad said, “I know you don’t want that, and I definitely didn’t see my actions from my mates side. I was an i***t. Some days I look at my family and know I’m a lucky son of a b***h that your mother is the woman she is. Plenty of women would’ve walked away from me.”

I said, “That’s not true, dad. You did what you felt was right. You didn’t love Sophia.” My dad shrugged, “You’re right. I was still a dumb kid who didn’t think about the consequence that decision would have on your mom.” He squeezed my arm and stood to go dance with my mom. My thoughts turned to Lisa again. I needed to end things for good this time. She usually broke up with me, and I’d swear we were done. Then she’d cry when I started to show anyone else attention and I felt bad.

Preston Conners sat down next to me. I said, “Hey P.” Preston said, “Hey Keaton. You look sad.” I sighed, “More resolved I think.” Preston laughed. I asked, “What?” Preston said, “Keaton, I’ve heard you swear you’re done with Lisa several times. It never ends up being true because she turns on the crocodile tears.” I shrugged, “She’s dating someone else.” Preston said, “That’s been true several times. It’s when you date someone else that she loses it over. You flirted with a girl and she had a meltdown so you’d take her back. She’s a shrewd manipulator.” I sighed, “You just don’t see her.” Preston countered, “I see her better than most, Keaton. It’s why she hates me. She’s very different around you than everyone else. She’s always known how to manipulate you whether you want to see it or not.”

I sighed, “I’m getting very tired of this mirror everyone wants to hold in front of me.” Preston laughed, “Sorry man, but I’m your friend. I’ve always told you how I feel about Lisa. She’s never been good to you. She always made you feel bad. That’s not real love, and I know you know that. We both have great examples to look at. Do we want to discuss what I know or not?” I winced. Preston could know someone’s deepest fear about things. I tilted my head outside and we walked out. I asked, “What is it?” Preston told me, “You fear you’ll never have a love that measures up to the love your parents have. So you’re settling with what you have with Lisa thinking that’s all you deserve. That’s not the way of mates though, Keaton.” I said, “Not everyone has a relationship full of roses. Look at your grandpa Nathan and Grandma Cassandra.”

Preston pointed out, “They loved each other though. That was never a question. With what I know now that I missed as a child that’s an indisputable fact. If they didn’t love each other, Grandpa Nathan would’ve divorced her. Life isn’t all roses, Keaton. Not everything in our parents' lives has been great. A lot has been really awful. They’ve always had each other's backs though. When push comes to shove our mothers would do anything for our dad’s and vice versa. Lisa has been saying you might take her as a chosen mate. It’s going around your pack and this one. My question to you about that is, when push comes to shove Keaton; Will Lisa have you back?” I hesitated.

Preston said, “That pause tells you everything. My dad nor yours would hesitate to answer that question. It’s ok to admit you deserve more than she’s giving you. It’s ok to admit you two aren’t meant for each other. You honestly don’t even work because while you may have a bond that keeps you together; I don’t think you like each other. She likes your title. So does her family. If roles were reversed and some girl convinced Keith she was his mate only for that not to be true you would be enraged.” He was right. I’d be furious if someone played with Keith that way. I nodded. I said, “Go back into the party, P. I need to think.” He gave me a hug. He said, “Anytime you need anything you can call me.” I smiled, “I know. You’re a good friend.” Preston replied, “So are you.”

He walked inside and I began to walk around the territory. I ended up on a path that led to a small pond and sat down. I asked Channing, “Are you upset with Lady?” Channing said, “No. Lady told me she wasn’t as positive we were mates as Lisa was. She said we did smell bad, but the only wolves that had smelled bad to her were rogues. Lisa and Lady are very different.” We sat in silence until Channing asked, “Are you mad at Lisa?” Was I? I was pretty sure I was. I felt like an i***t. I believed her when something in my gut told me not to. I thought I was just nervous about finding my mate. I brushed off my own feelings.

Keith flashed to me and sat down. He said, “I thought I might find you here.” I smiled at him. I bumped his shoulder with mine, “Thanks, big brother.” Keith asked, “For what?” I shrugged, “For not getting someone to punch Lisa for you. I can’t say if roles were reversed if I wouldn’t have talked Allison into it. No one would get too mad at her.” Keith laughed. I continued, “No seriously. Preston pointed out some things. If you were in this situation and not me I wouldn’t have been as nice.” Keith asked, “So are you finally done with her?” I snorted, “Preston also pointed out I’ve said I’m done with her before. I just feel really bad when she cries, Keith. She doesn’t have many friends, and that’s my fault.”

Keith gaped at me. He asked, “Do you actually believe that?” I shrugged, “Some people are jealous.” Keith said, “No, that’s a load of bullshit. Not in our pack. She doesn't have friends because she’s not a good person. She’s very rude to people and cuts them down. Did she tell you it was your fault she didn’t have friends?” I said, “Well, no. She never said it that way. She has cried that she can’t have real friends because of our relationship. Or people wanting to be close to her because of who we are. That happens to us all the time.” Keith snorted, “She gets worse the more I learn about her. Keaton, you are not why she doesn’t have friends.” I said, “People make fun of her voice too. That’s part of why she doesn't have friends.” Keith said, “That’s not her voice. I don’t know why she sounds like that, but she sounded perfectly fine until we turned thirteen.”

I frowned, “She was ambushed by rogues.” Keith retorted, “And you saved her. Her vocal cords weren’t damaged, Keaton. After that she clung to you. Until then you were nice to her, but you weren’t friends. Then you became protective of her, and you’ve basically been her protector since. I’m not saying that’s bad, but she doesn’t need you to protect her anymore.” I pointed out, “She’s not a fighter, Keith.” Keith shrugged, “She makes excuses for that. It’s not her passion, whatever. She should be better at fighting than she is. She gets you to make excuses for her.” I hissed, “No I don’t.” Keith said, “You do. With her level of fighting skills she should be an Omega. There are Omega’s that are better fighters than her. She’s a warrior’s daughter, but she didn’t earn the warrior status she has.” I frowned. It was important to Lisa to have the same status as her dad. Status didn’t really mean much in our packs. I said, “I didn’t excuse her from warrior training.” Keith said, “No but you put her in easier level classes. Emmett lets it go because it’s important to you. She’s on patrol schedules, but no one is counting on her as a warrior.” I sighed. I’d royally messed up then.

I admitted, “I haven’t seen her fight much. We’ve spared, but she said I was too rough.” Keith rolled his eyes, “You’ve never been too rough with Lisa. I know she’s saying that you’re taking space. That you know you have an end date, or that you’ll be each other’s chosen mates. Which I find odd since she’s f*****g a warrior while you’re gone. Which again is odd because she throws a fit about how close you and Clara are. Yet she makes you feel bad when you get jealous of her and Justin. The stark difference being you and Clara are like siblings and have never liked each other. She has had s*x with Justin a lot. Sometimes while you two were together. According to you, you’re still together which means she’s flaunting it to the whole pack she’s cheating on you.”

I sighed, “I don’t really even care anymore. I used to, but this time is different.” Keith said, “I hope so. If I were actually worried you’d take her as your chosen mate I’d tell you that you’d never know if your pups were yours or not. She’s cheated on you so many times.” That wasn’t really known. This time was apparently not hiding that she was with Justin. Only my family knew she’d cheated before. Her family did too. They told me she just needed to sow some wild oats. That she was young and would settle down. I was young, but I didn’t cheat on anyone. I did take someone back who had several times. I honestly didn’t know why. Preston wasn’t wrong. I had great examples around me of what love was. Being away from Lisa over break made me realize what we had didn’t even come close.