I dry humped his fridge.
That’s it,—the decision has been taken out of my hands. I have to leave. I want Emerson to come over and get me tonight. I can’t pack up all my stuff and do this alone, so I dial her number.
“Oh, hell, I’m dying over here,” she answers roughly.
“Yeah, well, you and me both. Great idea drinking cocktails, Einstein. I need you to come over here tonight and help me move my stuff. I’m resigning.”
She sighs. “What now? I’m too ill for dramatics today.”
“Apparently, I dry humped Mr. Masters f*****g refrigerator last night when I got home, and I was dancing around like a hooker and coming onto him. The worst part is that I can’t even remember it.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I had a slut brain snap and…” I throw my hands in the air in exasperation. “I don’t know what th
