MY LAST WORDS

Chapter 3: An Impossible Dream

I had become a wound in his life, and it was time for me to leave and let him heal from the pain that had been eating away at him for so long.

I knew this decision would not come without consequences. My whole life, I had lived for this man.

I knew that from now on, our routines would no longer exist.

I left, and with me, I carried away that incredible feeling that had once bound us together.

But deep down, I hoped... I hoped he would come looking for me, that he would find me and tell me we could try again, that he would still stand by my side.

I hoped. My heart hoped.

But... I wasn't truly convinced anymore.

I went back to the apartment where I had lived alone before I met him. The moment I arrived, a wave of emotions swept through my entire body.

It was in front of this door that Bryan had proposed to me.

In this living room, I could still see us spending hours talking, laughing, and sharing dinners together.

Every corner of this place reminded me of that lost love.

That love I had let go because it was no longer good for either of us.

Only a few hours had passed since I left, and I already felt empty, as if a part of me had been taken away.

I missed Bryan terribly, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Bryan

"Carine is the woman of my life.

I love her with all my heart.

Our marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me.

But... as time passed, the hope I carried for us, for our marriage, slowly faded away.

Carine would have been the perfect mother for my children.

Unfortunately, those children I dreamed of only exist in my heart.

I had finally accepted that we would never have them.

I believed in our love.

I believed in our marriage.

I stood by her for the sake of our family.

Through every attempt, I was there.

Through every test, I was there.

I held her hand.

I went with her.

We faced it together.

But this time... this 'NO,' this latest failed attempt, broke something inside me.

Now I feel empty.

That no, that negative result, echoed deep inside me.

It felt like a knife through my chest.

I was probably never going to be a father.

And I had to accept that reality.

Every time the doctor repeated those words I had heard countless times before, like a song stuck in your head that you can't make stop, they pierced my heart.

And little by little, my hope shattered.

That burning hope that had helped me stay by her side through everything, endure everything...

I lost it in that exact moment.

I was losing it, and I knew I would never get it back.

It's selfish, I know.

But tell me, how would you feel if the woman you loved with all your heart, the woman you wanted to build a family with, couldn't give you that future?

How would you feel if the chance to have your own children was taken away forever?

Love can survive anything?

I used to believe that.

But when I looked at her, I saw how broken she was too.

She was suffering. I knew it.

The look in her eyes wasn't the same anymore.

She wanted me to be there for her.

But I couldn't.

I just couldn't do it anymore.

I was never going to be a father.

And just thinking about it hurt more than anything.

And without meaning to, I was giving that pain back to her.

I couldn't pretend I was okay.

For so long, I had been her support.

We had fought this battle together.

After every failed attempt, I walked away determined not to give up.

We wanted that child.

But I had to face the truth:

Carine and I would never become parents.

I would never hear a child's laughter in our home.

I would never experience the joy of fatherhood with her.

I'm not being cruel.

It's simply the truth.

I love Carine with all my heart.

But I know that with her, I will never be a father.

And that's something I can't forget.

I came home very early this morning.

I expected to find her in our bed, turned away from me or looking at me with those sad eyes.

But this time, Carine wasn't there.

I knew she couldn't take it anymore.

Just like me.

And the letter she left on the nightstand confirmed everything.

We still love each other.

Maybe we'll never stop loving each other.

But we knew we were hurting each other.

I didn't know how to love her anymore.

And she felt diminished.

I never wanted her to feel that way.

I can't stand seeing her sad.

But how could I stop thinking about it?

How could I face this reality?

How could I tell her that one day we would have our child when every attempt ended with the same negative result?

She chose to leave.

My heart was screaming at me to go after her.

To go to her apartment and bring her home.

But my mind told me to let her go.

I couldn't be her support anymore.

I hated myself for it.

I wasn't the same Bryan anymore.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to say.

The house felt empty without her.

Every corner reminded me of our memories.

But it also reminded me of the battle we would never win.

Those love stories that end in failure even though both people love each other deeply?

I never believed in them.

And now I was living one.

The letter trembled in my hands.

I could barely feel it.

All I felt were the tears running down my face.

A part of me was gone.

Carine, my other half, was leaving.

But at the same time, I couldn't stop her.

I wasn't capable of it.

I needed to get out.

I needed to forget, if only for a day.

A deep sadness weighed on me, yet I couldn't move.

I missed her smile.

But it wasn't there anymore.

I missed our dinners together.

But I wasn't spending my evenings with her anymore.

Carine is the woman of my life.

But not the mother of my children."

Carine

Our marriage, our relationship, meant everything to me.

But it wasn't enough.

Leaving was the only thing left for me to do.

I couldn't bear watching us drift further apart.

I couldn't bear seeing him come home late and leave again without being able to ask him not to leave me alone with my grief.

We were both suffering.

I understood that.

We would never have children.

And we both knew it.

I had to free him from this torment.

It was my fault.

I couldn't give him the thing we had dreamed about.

Building a family.

Having children who would call us "Mom" and "Dad."

With me, he would never know what it felt like to bring a child into the world.

I was limited.

And I had limited him with me.

I was alone.

This time, it wasn't just a feeling.

It was my reality.

Bryan needed to move on with his life.

And that life had to be without me.

But would I be able to survive that?

Suddenly, while I sat there surrounded by that dreadful silence, my phone rang.

"Bryan?"