Friendship Can be Love

The Tough Decision

This part is high on emotions.

Sameer had arrived early for their temple date coz he could couldn't fall in deep slumber. The hitch in Naina's tone last night had left him wondering what was going on. At least he hoped that she would come and talk to him and share if there was any problem and he would definitely help her out of it.

While waiting he kept mumbling "Pakka Taiji ne fir kuch kaha hoga Naina se...isiliye udass hogi. Tsk. Main bhi na...mujhe kal raat ko hi uske paas chale jana chahiye tha. Naina toh mana karegi hi na, use hamesha meri fikr rehti hai, par mujhe hi uske paas chale jana chahiye tha. Wo thodi na kehti ki Sameer abhi aao, mera mann udaas hai, tumhari zaroorat hai. Wo hamesha mere mann ki baat samajh leti hai, mujhe bhi toh samajh na chahiye tha. Par samajh ke bhi kya kar liya tu ne Sameer? Naina ne kaha subah mandir mein milenge, toh aaram se chaddar taankar so gaya. Yeh nahi ki aawaz mein dabi khamoshi ko padh le. Par main toh Naina ki har baat manta hoon taaki uske chehre ki muskaan kabhi gumm na ho. Abe idiot, har baat manne ki kya zaroorat hai? Agar kal Naina kahegi ki mujhe chod do toh kya chod dega? Sameer jeena chod sakta hai, Naina ko nahi".

When he declared this to himself, he sensed her and looked up. There, the light of his eyes, the smile of his face, the beat of his heart was walking up to him in his favorite pink suit that she wore in mt. Abu and totally mesmerized him.

She came to him and smiled but her smile didn't reach her eyes and Sameer's smile faded too. Something was seriously wrong but since the aarti was about to begin, she gestured him to go inside with her.

They participated in the aarti as usual and performed their customary rituals. She prayed fervently in her heart. "Bhagwanji, jo main karne ja rahi hoon, please mujhe himmat dena, aur aap hamesha Sameer ke saath rehna aur use khush rakhna".

After that they went to the backside of the temple, their usual secluded spot, where they sat and chatted for a few minutes almost every Monday unless she was accompanied by Chachiji or Taiji and they had to make do with just gazing at each other from afar.

Sameer couldn't hold it anymore "Kya hua hai Naina....teen din ho gaye hai, aur aaj main tumhe dekh raha hoon toh aisa lag raha hai jaise barson se nahi dekha....kuch toh badal gaya hai. Hamari theek se baat bhi nahi hui hai. Aur tum itna pareshan lag rahi ho".

He tried to place a hand on hers, which was fidgeting with the dupatta so that he could calm her down, but she took it back when his fingers brushed the back of her palm.

"Sameer...Shukravaar ko jab hum college se ghar gaye...." and she narrated every single detail of the whole incident that occurred at her place until Arjun was sent away. She tried to hold her emotions in check but tears spilled out.

She started sobbing and Sameer went closer to pull her in his arms, so she could let it all out. Finally, he knew the reason for her self-desecration. She must be thoroughly tormented with the happenings and while he didn't witness any of it, her pain was enough to pierce his heart. Wished he was really a magician, who could will away all her worries and sorrows.

"Nainu...." But she pulled back and he didn't force her. She was in a very vulnerable state of mind and he just wanted to let her know that he understood and was there as a pillar of strength by her side she could lean on and let out her grief.

"Sameer....issliye maine ek faisla kiya hai! Ab se hume ek dusre se durr rehna hoga...hum iss tarah milte hue ya baat karte hue pakde gaye toh bahut bada bawaal ho jaayega. Hum ek saath nahi reh sakte Sameer...Agrawal aur Maheshwari ki shaadi nahi ho sakti. Hamara rishta, hamare pyar ko na koi samjhega na koi apnayega. Aur kal agar hamari baat sabke samne aayegi toh kahi mere Papa ya Chachaji ne aatmahatya karne ki koshish ki toh....Main uss din se theek se so bhi nahi payi hoon itne bure sapne aate hai. Apne hi kamre ke pankhe se darr lagta hai. Nahi Sameer, main seh nahi paungi ki mere pyar ki wajah se mere parivaar mein kisi ki jaan chali gayi", she dictated her decision.

Sameer listened to her with a dumbfounded expression. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and thought he was mistaken.

"Tum...tum kehna kya chah rahi ho Naina?" He wanted to confirm that whatever he heard was just a bad dream and Naina was just pulling his leg, testing his love, like she found novel ways in mt. Abu, and this was some hideous prank devised by her like the chudail plan.

"Sameer...mere parivaar mein se kisiki zindagi khatm ho jaaye usse pehle hume yeh rishta yahi khatm karna hoga".

There, she had said it and while she had thought that this would lift a huge burden from her heart, it rather sank into a deep dark abyss filled with melancholy. Her life suddenly felt empty and hollow with nothing to do and no reason to live or be happy.

Sameer got up with a jerk as if her words were pulling away the ground from beneath his feet and he was going to sink somewhere drowning deeply. "Yeh kya bol rahi ho Naina...itna ganda mazaak kaun karta hai subah subah! Agar mujhse koi galati hui hai aur tum sazaa dena chahti ho toh de do, maar lo, peet lo, gaaliyan bhi de do, par aisi baat mat karo jo sochne mein bhi daravani ho".

Naina also got up and faced him "Main koi mazaak nahi kar rahi hoon Sameer. Dou din se tumse isiliye baat nahi kar pa rahi thi, kyonki main koi faisla nahi kar pa rahi thi. Par ab maine faisla kar liya hai. Hum saath nahi ho sakte".

"Tumhe yeh faisla lene ka haq kisne diya Naina. Hum ek dusre se pyaar karte hai, lagbhag teen saal ho gaye hamare rishte ko. Jab yeh rishta hum dono ka hai toh tum akele kaise faisla le sakti ho? Agar Arjun Bhaiyya aur Shefali apne pyar ke liye nahi lad paaye, ek dusre ke liye khade nahi ho paaye, toh ismein unki galati hai. Tum unke toote hue rishte ki sazaa hamare rishte ko kyon de rahi ho? Yeh sahi nahi hai Naina. Main tumhari har baat manta hoon Naina par iss faisle ko accept nahi kar sakta". (Had to use some parts of CVs dhansu dialogs).

"Main tumse puch nahi rahi hoon Sameer, bata rahi hoon. Mai itni swarthi kaise ho jaaon ki  apni khushi ke liye, apne parivaar ki khushi unki izzat sab daav pe laga doon? Meri Maa toh pehle hi nahi hai, agar Papa ko bhi kuch ho jaata toh main kya karti? Chachaji mujhpe kitna vishwas karte hai, unhe yakeen hai ki parivaar ki maryada ko todkar main kabhi kuch nahi karoongi. Wo apni betiyon se zyaada pyar karte hai mujhe. Papa ke hote hue bhi hamesha Papa ka pyar mujhe unse hi mila hai. Unka vishwas kaise tod doon? Tum batao Sameer, agar meri jagah tum hote aur Papa ya Chachaji ki jagah Nanaji hote aur wo tumse kehte ki tumhe unme aur mujhme se kisiko chunna hai, toh kya karte tum Sameer? Kya tum mere saath rehne ke liye Nanaji ko khone ke liye taiyyar ho jaate? Papa ne jo kiya agar waisa Nanaji karne ki koshish karte toh tum hone dete?"

Sameer understood what she meant. There was no way he could have ever been able to choose between Nanu and Naina. They both were his lifelines and though Nanu wasn't with him today, his blessings and guidance always lighted the path for him. He calmed down as this was not the time to get angry and blast on his girl. She was in a very fragile state of mind, exceptionally vulnerable, she was shaken from within and was undergoing an emotional turmoil. He had to make her see through this.

So he tried calmly, "Naina...Nanaji hamesha meri khushi chahte the. Wo kabhi nahi chahte ki apni zindagi ki sabse important dou khushiyon mein se main ek ko chunu. Parivaar saath deta hai, saath chodta nahi...hamari khushi mein jo khush na ho, wo parivar kaise ho sakta hai? Naina...tumhara parivar chahe tumse kuch bhi kahe, main tumse vaada karta hoon ki kabhi aisa waqt nahi aane doonga ki tumhe pyar aur parivar mein se ek chunna pade. Main achche se jaanta hoon tumahari family tumhare liye kitni important hai. Tum khud socho Naina, agar main bhi tumhare parivar ka hissa ban jaaon toh chunne ka sawal hi nahi aata. Please bharosa rakho mujhpar, hamare pyar par".

Sameer tried to make her see reason, but for the moment Naina had decided.

"Nahi Sameer, aisa nahi hoga. Main nahi chahti ki jaise Arjun bhaiyya ko sabke samne apne pyar ko galati bolkar chodna pada, main bhi tumhe sabke samne galati bolun ya usse bhi bura, hamare rishte ko jhukla doon. Uss waqt jo tumhe dard hoga use na tum seh paoge, na tumhe aise toota dekhkar main seh paungi. Yeh sab mere liye bhi aasan nahi hai Sameer, jitna bura tumhe lag raha hai, mujhe bhi utna hi dard ho raha hai. Par aage aanewale dard se tumhe bachana chahti hoon, isiliye, aaj se, yeh sab yahi khatam".

She looked into his eyes and decreed her final decision and walked away hiding her tears but let them flow freely after turning her back, leaving her world behind. Her heart broke into thousand pieces when she looked into his eyes and saw the pain she had just subjected him to. She thought he would move on in a few days and she would carry his love in her heart forever and live on for her family but destiny had other plans.

Sameer saw her walking away as if his life was draining out of him. There was no life for him. If there was no Naina, there was no Sameer.

He smirked as if resigned to fate "Keh rahi hai ki aage aanewali dardbhari zindagi se bachana chahti hai....yeh bhool gayi ki agar wo nahi toh Sameer ki toh zindagi hi nahi". Tears rolled down his cheeks.