Your Imperfections

Chapter 13

I bolt up in a sit, gasping for air. Breathe, I tell myself.

Breathe, you just have to breathe Aaleyah. It was just a dream. Just a bad dream.

Voices echo in my head, noises ring in my ear like the harsh bell of schools. I don’t see anything, I cant seem to get any oxygen inside me.

I wasn’t grateful for not having those nightmares in a long time. I should’ve been thankful, should’ve known how better I was getting. Seeing my sisters fragile face triggered emotions within me, emotions I had forgotten even existed.

The sadness, the denial, the anger. But most importantly, the guilt. The guilt always topped all of them, always left the others behind and it always takes place where my heart lies.

“Breathe, please breathe for me. Do you hear your heart? If you do, then count the beats and just calm down,” I finally heard Adian’s voice. He sounds franctic, like he wants to help me but really doesn’t know how he would do that.

I do as I am told. I count my heart beats, count until the erratic breathing slows down to a slow rhythm. I calm down.

Adian is just next to me staring at my face with worry washed all over his features. He finally thinks I am a crazy person. A crazy person he married. What if he doesn’t want to live with me anymore? What if he has finally decided to leave me, and really, is he to blame? I am the one with psychotic problems. There is nothing wrong with him.

“What has he done?”

His question catches me by surprise, but not for too long. The meaning begins to soak in my skin, and I cringe.

“What has he done to you, Aaleyah?” he repeats, this time a little tense.

I shake my head. “He has done nothing to me,” I reply. He didn’t, actually. It’s what he did that has my life like this. So shallow sometimes. So lonely. But no, I am not lonely, as God is with me everywhere, and He listens.

He runs a hand through his mop of dark hair, cursing something under his breath.

I hug my knees, drawing them up to my chest like a shield, as if that man would barge in any time.

What was he doing in here?

Adian knew him. He knows that man. Is he. . . was that—

No. This can’t be true.

“Adian, how did Uncle Sohail get in here?” I demand, turning in the bed to face him.

His eyes tell me the answer. But when he says it aloud, a soft whimper escapes my lips. “He is my father. The man I despise the most in this world.”