The Choice

The choice

As I sat in my car looking at the frozen world around me I assumed I was dead. I mean the car that was about to hit me was frozen the wind was still and the world was quiet. Then I heard a voice behind me call my name.

I turned around and saw a young woman dressed all in white. She was beautiful and her voice was so sweet and comforting as I opened my mouth the only thing I could say was “What will happen to my kids?”

She smiled and said, “That all depends on what you choose.”

I said

“What do you mean I’m dead right?”

She then smiled widely and explained,

“No you are not. You have been given a choice. You can choose to let the current events before you take their course and join your husband and your children will go on with their lives or you can go back.”

I said “back where?”

“ Back to before you met your husband. You will keep know of this life but you will be able to make different choices that can change this future. I can’t guarantee you will end up with a better future or that you won’t experience grief and you will carry the burden of knowing what awaits if you can’t make the changes you need to. Also this gift comes at a price one that not all who are given this choice are willing to pay.”

I am waiting for her to tell me this price and wondering why I am being given this choice.

“Your price is that you will not be able to recognize Jack as your husband. You will remember you had a husband and children but their faces and names will be forgotten. And if by the time you return to this day and time you have not changed the choices you made enough you will loose them all for good.” She finished

“Why am I given this choice? What is special about me?” I asked And she replied “That answer is not one I can give you. If you choose to go back all will be explained but if you choose to let this future be and join Jack your children will suffer grief and loneliness that will alter not only their future but many others futures as well.” She paused and then took a long breath and continued, “ You and Jack are special and your children are important more than you know but you messed up and didn’t follow the signs that we set out for you, you chose and life that was safe and boring now you can change that or not but I need your choice now I can’t hold you in this place for too much longer!”

“Wait, what do you mean, who are you?” I asked in rapid succession. “ Lillian make your choice and you will get your answers!”

As I thought about what she said I thought about my mundane life that was filled with love before the accident but was predictable, I wouldn’t have called it boring but was no where near exciting. Then I thought about Jack and how I desperately wanted to see him, since that day I have been missing a piece of my soul and being with him peacefully in the eternities sounded really nice to this tired mama. But, then I thought of my kids and realized that I would not leave them like that. I knew that everyday I would have to remember being a mother and wife but be without them and that I would have to find them all again but I knew it was my turn to save them all by losing them all hopefully for just a time. I turned to her and said with all the bravery I could muster, “I am going back!”

She didn’t say anything just smirked and snapped her fingers and everything went black.