The pain I felt was not from the physical hits, it ascended beyond that and settled on all the guilt I felt. I felt as though I was dead but the pain in my heart caused it to shatter again and again. How could I mess up? I killed two children. As much as I wanted the pain to stop, I deserved all of it. I’d have to experience more than three times the pain that I am in order to make up for what I’ve done.
It was shocking when I first woke up. I felt as though God was torturing me; I tried to die twice within the same day and I had been saved each time. Actually, I shouldn’t even call it ‘saving’, it’s far less than that. It’s t*****e. That’s all. It was shocking to wake up but when I did the pain was momentarily replaced with confusion.
I woke up in a darkened capsule, it rattled me back
