This is what you’re doing to me

day 3: violent outburst

Day 3: violent outburst

1st march 2017

Pieces of broken glass and ripped up photo’s, scattered all over the lounge room floor. I sit silently, with my arms wrapped around my knees, my eye’s peering through the thick curtain of hair hanging over my face.

 I can hear them. Mum and Jake, they are arguing again. This time it’s worse. “If you don’t leave, I’ll call the cops” mum threatens, with anger. “Go on cunt” Jake hisses back, his face inches from mums. She pushes him back with the palm of her hand. “YOU CUNT” he rages, in utter violence

 The door slams shut in his face, followed by the silence. Still huddled up on the middle of the couch, slowly I begin to lift my head. Glaring back at me, those violent, vicious, angry eyes. “What you looking at w***e!” he berates. I feel the sharp sting of his words as they cut through me like a blade. I’m unable to speak, too afraid.

 Mum’s bedroom door comes flying open. “Did he just call you a w***e?” she badgers. Still unable to speak, I give a small, frightened nod. “HOW DARE YOU!?” she yells, turning towards Jake. “YOU FUCKEN SNITCH” he snaps at me. It all happens in what feels like a rush. He picks up a bright, pink hair brush, from the mantel piece above the fire place and violently hurls it in my direction. “OW” I cry, as the brush strikes my leg, hard. Tears escape from my eyes as I try to hold them back.

 He can’t see me cry, only the weak cry. “Snitches get stiches cunt” he spits, before turning and heading out the front door. “Are you okay?” mum asks, sharply. I just nod, too shocked to know what to say.

Trailing slowly behind mum as she ambles down the pathway, towards the main gate. “For f**k sakes “, I hear her gasp. I’m still a little dazed, my eyes red and irritated from the pain of Jakes unwanted outburst. Just outside of the main gate, stands Jake, with his arms crossed tightly against his chest, leaning back against mum’s black V8 commodore. He wears a heavy, evil like grin. “I told you to leave” mum fumes. Jake doesn’t respond.

Glancing around, at the environment around me, I can see the rest of the damage Jake has done. Broken garden ornaments, smashed up glass, everything is a mess.

There is a loud gasp, followed by the sound of Mum’s angry voice. “YOU PIECE OF s**t!” she yells, with pure hatred. I follow her gaze to the back door of her car. A massive indent the size of a pumpkin, has been kicked into the car’s door.

“I’m calling the cops! Just you wait cunt” she retaliates. “Go ahead dog” Jake spits back. 

It took just under 15 minutes for the cops to arrive. In that final moment, when I saw the two big, scary police officers come into view, everything froze. It had felt like my whole world had been ripped apart. Like a massive fist punching me in the gut. Standing there, in silence, watching the scary officer’s handcuff my big brothers hands. Knowing there was nothing I could do to free him.

12 hours later, Jake was released. 

Seeing a police officer cuff your brother’s hands and take him away isn’t easy, especially at the age of thirteen. I had just turned thirteen a few weeks ago, Jake never even got me a present, let alone knew it was my birthday. I guess in a way, this was his present to me. Watching me suffer from his actions and consequences, now isn’t that the perfect gift to a thirteen year old girl?