Heal My Wounds

Chapter Three

Olivia

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‘Olivia, open the door this minute!’ My mum's familiar voice yelled from the other side of the door. Groaning, I took off my headset and left the comfort of my bed. I slipped on my flip-flops and made a frantic effort to hold my hair in a messy bun.

It was past 3 noon and yet I was still in my nightwear, my breakfast and lunch by my bedside table untouched.

I unlocked the door and was quick enough to get out of the way before I get hit as mum swung it open. It’s been two days since we arrived in Brighton and I hadn’t stepped out to greet mum's endless list of family friends who had all been looking forward to my next visit.

My mum stood by the door tapping her foot, something she did when she was really angry.

‘What is wrong with you, Li? You’ve been indoors ever since we got to town. The whole neighborhood's been asking about you.’

I remained quiet.

She stepped into my room and saw my meals lying stale and untouched by my bedside. She dragged me to my bed, made me sit, and sat beside me.

‘You need to stop moping. Get out there and have a life. You aren’t getting any younger. Scarlett got engaged three weeks ago. You need to get outside, go for a run, walk or something. You need a man. I think you’re dragging this ambition thing way too far.’

‘I’m sorry, Mum.’ I said. I didn’t want her to go on and on.

Mum let out a sigh. ‘I need you to be down early for dinner. We’d be having guests. Apply light makeup and take that mourning look off your face.’ She smiled and kissed me on my forehead. Typical.

She shut the door and walked down the hallway. I threw on my headset and a slow, emotional sound filled my ears. I was lost in my own world. I felt a pit of loneliness within me. I always faked not being bothered about not having someone but deep down, it was all a fallacy.

I wanted to be loved unconditionally by someone. To matter. I wanted more than anything else to be protected and babied by someone. Each time I saw my parents or a random couple, the pit in my heart grew bigger. And now, Scarlett is getting married. My baby cousin. I felt a tear escape but I quickly wiped it away.

It was 5 pm. I needed to be down in time for dinner before mum pulls down my door with her voice. Without any hesitation, I took off my pajamas and stepped into the bathroom. I wondered what kind of guests would require me to look good for dinner. I won’t be surprised if my parents invited some random boy that showed interest in ‘the daughter the town hasn’t been in a long time' over for dinner. They feared that I would be lonely if I went on the way I was going.

I slipped on my light blue silky dinner dress which blended with my milk-colored skin and picked a sliver shiny slippers for my feet. I wasn’t in the mood for heels. I dried my damp hair with the towel as my drier for wasn’t functioning after a long time of being kept. I packed my hair in a ponytail and let the tail drop over my back. I applied light makeup and glossed my lips.

I stood in front of the mirror for a while to admire my beauty. I was beautiful and I knew it.

‘Olivia!’ Mum's voice rang throughout the house.

I knew better than to get mum upset. I picked up my phone and proceeded out of the room and down the stairs.

Mum gleamed with smiles as I climbed down.

‘Now that's my baby girl.’ She said grinning from ear to ear. ‘You look beautiful, Li.’

‘Thanks, mum.’ I went into her waiting arms. Her hug grew tighter.

‘Mum, I can’t breathe.’ I said indicating it was time for her to let go. ‘You'll smear my makeup.’

We laughed. I guess it won’t be so bad in Brighton after all. I thought.

‘Hey, Scarlett.’ I gave her a warm hug. ‘Congratulations, sis.’ Mum told me about your engagement. ‘I'm happy for you.’

‘Thanks, Li. It’s good to have you back after such a long time.’

I joined Scarlett in setting the table for dinner. Mum had made some jerk chicken sauce with rice and peas for dinner. She also had some cakes and chocolate puddings for dessert.

Just as I placed the last glass cup on the table, the doorbell rang and mum made for the door. Dad walked in with a tall, young, good-looking man in his late twenties. I was trying to figure out who he was. Probably the date mum and dad had brought for me.

‘Not bad.’ I thought. At least they got this one right.

‘Hey, dad!’ I walked over into his already outstretched arms.

‘My darling', he said implanting a kiss on my forehead. ‘You look beautiful. Good to see you are back in your normal self. Your mum and I were pretty worried about you.’

I took the bottle of wine from him. It was obviously his latest production. Dad made a tradition to come home with a sample of his latest wine product before it went out to the public. We would drink the wine over dinner after making a toast of course and then dad would ask each of us for reviews.

I smiled. My parents hadn’t changed a bit. I stood aside, waiting for them to introduce me to the cute

Just then, Scarlett walked into the room.

‘Hey, baby.’ She sounded excited as she walked over to the stranger. They shared a short kiss and then it dawned on me. He was her fiancé.

My heart sank. They looked good together.

‘Babe, meet Olivia, my cousin. Li, this is Tom, my fiancé.’

‘Finally, someone decides to introduce me to the charming guy in the room.’ I said with a loud laugh trying to hide my disappointment.

I stepped forward for a brief hug.

‘Pleased to finally meet you, Tom.’

I turned on the speaker and the soft voices of Beach Boys filled the room. I took my seat by the left of dad, opposite mum.

Dad was sharing a story of a scene one of his workers had put up. Occasionally, his audience would laugh and throw in a comment or two before leaving dad to continue his story. I’d also let out a smile to fake paying attention. The sound of forks meeting plates filled the room.

I couldn’t believe mum and dad made me dress up and apply all this makeup just so I could meet Scarlett's fiancé.

The meal tasted good and somehow, it managed to suppress my disappointment.

Mid-way into dinner, the doorbell rang.

‘I'll get it.’ Mum said. Dapping at her lips with the serviette, she stood up and walked towards the door.

For the first time, I observed how much dad had changed. His black hair was gradually being replaced by grey hair and he had more wrinkled in his face. He still had that handsome look I always admired.

I was engrossed in admiring dad that I didn't notice the sixth person who just entered.

‘Li, someone is here to see you.’ Mum called out.

In disbelief, I looked up and my eyes met those bright blue eyes which I dreaded so much.

‘Stan. What are you doing here?’ I closed my mouth to prevent myself from drooling.

I turned to look at mum who was overly concentrated on her meal. I needed no soothsayer to tell me this was all her making.

‘I tried reaching you for some days. I traced you down to your apartment and was told by your neighbor that you left two days ago with your mum. So I was left with no other choice than to come to see you in person.’ Stanley explained.

‘See me in person? What for?’

I turned to the table to see four pairs of eyes staring at me.

‘Sweetheart, cut him some slack. He must be so stressed out from the long drive.’ Mum said to me. Turning to Stan, she said, ‘Forgive our manners. Join us for dinner. You must be famished by now.’

‘Mum!’ I yelled.

Paying no heed to me, she walked into the kitchen and returned with a clean set of cutlery.

‘Ma, there would be no need for that. I’d just grab a meal downtown.’ Stanley said politely refusing the offer.

My mum paused for a while, looked up at him, and continued setting the table. Mum wasn’t someone to take no for an answer.

When she was done, she pulled out the chair close to me and ushered him into it.

‘Help yourself, darling.’ Mum said as she took her position beside dad.

The sweet smell of his cologne mixed with the aroma of the meal filled my nose. I tried so hard to concentrate on my meal as the rest of my family, Stan inclusive, chattered into the night.

I remained silent as dad entertained everyone with his endless tales. I could barely concentrate.

‘Clink! Clink!!’ Dad tapped his glass with cutlery, indicating that it was time for the toast. I lifted my head carefully avoiding his eyes.

‘To family, and love.’ Dad made the toast.

‘To family, and love.’ We repeated after him and clinked glasses.

Soon, dinner was over. Dad, Stan, and Tom stepped out into the garden to continue their discussion leaving mum, Scarlett, and I to clear up the dishes. In no time, we were done and I stepped out into the veranda to grab some fresh air. I could see the men sitting by the poolside chattering as dad went about his endless tale.

My eyes met with those of Stan. They looked bright with the reflection of the red light dad used in decorating the poolside. I felt a new surge of emotions run through me. Like an impulse, he got up, said his final greetings, and walked towards me.

‘Hey,’ He said when he finally got to where I stood.

‘Hi.’ I replied pretending not to have noticed him walk over. ‘You came to deliver a message.’ I bluntly added trying to sound as mean as possible.

‘Let’s go for a walk.’ He said.

Deep down, I wanted so much to turn him down but for some reasons I couldn’t decipher, I was unable to. He had walked to the door and held it open.

The cold evening breeze felt good and I could feel my skin smoother from its gentle caress. It was one of those nights when the moon shone brightly.

‘It’s a beautiful night.’ He sighted out.

‘Yeah.’ I replied coldly. ‘So, can we get down to it? What’s so important that can't be discussed over the phone?’ I inquired trying hard to keep my cool.

‘You got the job. You resume in a week.’ He finally gave the news. ‘There was some kind of mix-up initially but since you meet the qualifications, we decided to give you a shot’.

I stood dumbfounded for a few seconds as though I didn’t hear what he just said. Taking the letter which he stretched towards me, my eyes ran through the printed text. Slowly, the scorn on my face eased off and was replaced by a smile.

‘Yes.’ I screamed. In my excitement I had hugged him. Though he was surprised at my unexpected reaction, he return the hug. I stood there, in his arms, for a brief moment before I returned to my usual self.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have …ehm…' I stuttered.

‘It’s alright. I perfectly understand. You seem really pleased to have gotten the job. Congratulations.’ He said cutting me off.

He embrace woke a part of me which I thought was dead. It reminded me of safety and comfort only that this time, it was torn between betrayal and disappointment. We stood there, the brightly shining moon casting our shadows on the lawn by the walkway.

‘Would you mind having a drink?’ he asked.

I nodded and we moved towards town where the bars were located.

‘Bringing the letter down here wasn’t necessary, you didn’t have to. You could have just sent an email.’ I said after a prolonged quietness.

He stopped and turned to face me. I could feel his blue eyes pierce deep into my mind.

‘I never got to say sorry, Li.’ He said slowly taking my hands.

My eyes became teary. How could he throw all we had? How could he humiliate me this much? The events of that night four years ago replayed in my memory. I could remember every detail of that night.

Mum had just dismissed me from the kitchen after running an endless list of errands. The party was going on quite well. I looked around, hoping to see Stan propped up with my cousins as usual but he was nowhere to be found. No one seemed to have seen him and I was getting worried.

He probably went home which was quite unusual of him.

‘Hey, Li. Do get me a new bottle of wine.’ Dad called out to me.

‘Okay, dad.’ I left my hunt for Stan and proceeded to the cellar where we had different exotic wines from dad's winery. The cellar was in the attic. No one hardly went there and so dad converted a part of it into a*****e for his wines.

Stan and I came up to the attic sometimes to have some of our make-out escapades. Drawing closer to the attic I heard funny noises.

‘Uh…. It’s so big, harder. Please….uhhh…har…’

I paid no attention. I was more worried about where Stan would be than the couple having the time of their lives.

‘Stan…..yeah… harder…uhhh...’

I heard some horny b***h scream Stan's name behind the door.

‘No, it’s not true. He wouldn’t do this to me. He said he loves me. I pushed the door open and saw Stan pounding non-stop deep into my best friend, her legs on his shoulders.

I moved backward slowly and rushed down the stairs to the comfort of my room. I heard him pleading behind me but didn’t consider listening to him.

‘It all happened so fast. I never wanted to hurt you the way I did.’ Stan's voice brought me back to reality. He was now standing very close to me. I could feel his breath on my chest.

Slowly, he raised my head and gave me a passionate kiss. I wanted to refuse, to push him away, to remind him that I didn’t need him in my life. I wanted so badly to push him off and walk home. But I couldn’t.

I stood there, enjoying the passionate kiss we shared. No doubt, I missed him. He was the reason why I had turned down so many others who wanted a relationship. I was scared.

I felt a new anger surge through me. Pushing him off, I walked into the cold night, through the lonely street, and back home.