Fake Bully, True Crush

The Confession

Noah kept smelling the flower, always with a smile. like a kid. It seems that he really enjoyed this gift, and I followed his smile while he escorted me back to dormitory.

“Don’t look at me like a stranger, I am very, very hurt,” When we almost got dorm, Noah hid his smile and said.

I wasn’t aware that I looked at him like that. Although I felt apprehensive about the fact, he openly admitted that he was hurt, I was in constant confusion about my own feelings. He made this all happen, yet he was the one who was hurt. We were standing in front of the dorms open area, there was nobody, they either went to the party or remained studying inside.

I said, “Do you feel sorry about the pain you have caused?” I was outright curious at his statement, and I wanted him to elaborate some more. I opened my eyes to the fact that I didn’t listen to him because I didn’t believe anything he had told me before, it was my own defensive mind that thought all that was coming from his lips were lies.

Noah confessed, “Yes, I am deeply sorry. I acted so immaturely before, and I regret that, please forgive me.” He had a pleading look in his face, the storms in his eyes dimmed under the starlight, portraying him in a sad masterpiece.

He had his lips drawn into a small scowl, making me notice how he remembered all the worst things that happened to me because of him. The decision to forgive him was a big one, I was in a battle with what I was used to and what he offered me. He seemed to be really tortured by me not forgiving him. But he needed to know that it was easier said than done.

I could see the regret in his eyes when he faced me, I was certain that what he said was the truth, and I was ready to forgive. It took me a tiny moment to leave it all behind, he portrayed emotion and it was enough for me to forgive him. That, and I also wanted to move on in life. I didn’t want to hold a grudge forever; it was hefty for me to carry along the years in the future.

I imitated what he said before, “Sure, always forgive.”

What he told me before really manifested into my soul, although he was Ava’s fiancé, he was a different person than her. I couldn’t let my mind wrap around how opposite they were. He went from ignoring me as if we weren’t there for each other when we were children to trying to be my friend. It was a hassling whirlwind that I didn’t want to get into. Even though the pain in my chest told me it hurt me, I was willing to let go and start a new page in my life. Forgiving is only the first step and then moving on was the second. I believed when moments of pain breached the present, it would uphold the future further and I would get my part of happy endings.

We smiled at each other; his long eyelashes touched his underlids with ease when our eyes met, but in a much more friendly way. The breezes entertained us when we both looked into each other’s eyes.

“So, could we befriend now, just like when we were little?” Noah tentatively asked, he scratched the back of his head, his cuffs going downward at the motion, revealing his impressive arms. His question took me back to the golden age, when we were young and free together. We spent the best moments with each other, it was undeniable made with unforgettable memories.

But I looked hesitant in front of Noah, “It's just too dangerous to be your friend now. You have a jealous and fierce finance.” I laughed awkwardly, letting my hair fall freely in front of my face only to push it back to be able to see Noah, “I do believe she even could survive on a war.” It was true, Ava could do anything she set her mind into. Though she was a mean person, but her stubbornness could be applauded for, she was more determined than me, her soul always fighting with what she wanted in life.

This point makes Noah laugh, “Yes, she did have a distinct personality, very aggressive as well.” I was glad he agreed with me on that one. At least, he knew what he was in for. My mind wandered as to why Noah was making all these efforts to be my friend when he knew he had Ava, he was aware of her distinctive disposition, but he never made her change.

I took a whiff of his scent for the last time, “The most important is, three is a crowd and I don’t want to squeeze in the middle. I got my own thing going on, study hard and go to a fine institution. That’s my life.” I clarified; I really didn’t have the time to fight with a deranged fiancée in my schedule. I had a bright long-life plan of me, I was a tidy person over what I plan most of the time, I had to get a move on for my studies, get my needed scholarship, I didn’t want to add more pressure than what my life was.

“So, you definitely won’t agree with the secret friend idea?” Noah suggested, eyebrow quirking up as if telling me to rethink my decision. I could tell that he wanted this as he waited in patience for my answer, I knew my answer well and clear for obvious reasons.

I shook my head, “Not interested. Sorry!”

Noah looked a bit down, said: “ Give me some time, I will solve the problem.”

I didn’t know what he had meant by that, I thought he liked Ava long enough to stay with her, the idea of giving him some time sounded tempting, but the ring in my mind warned me that I didn’t have the time for this. I was concentrating in me and what I wanted to build for myself.

I didn’t have any added opinion on it, just said, “It’s time to say goodbye.”

When Noah waved goodbye, he looked very handsome under the starlight. The twinkling stars made his hair look a shade lighter than his brown hair, and his ashen eyes held me into its warmth. It was almost like the night was just made for him; his mesmerized eyes took me in one last time before he strode off to his own way.

His broad shoulders were the only thing I saw as his receding form made me sigh at our departure, it was like I willed my mind to memorize his figure as he rounded the corner, the students loitered back into the dorms, making him a faded memory.

Don’t be addicted to his beautiful eyes and shining smile! Damn it! This guy knows his own good looks, good move! I told myself, shaking my head a bit. I wasn’t that naïve; I knew that it was a move of his to make me pine after him.

Tonight, it was the best, I got the closure I wanted all along and Noah was a pure gentleman to me, the food was good, and the vibes were a bit too royalist for me, but it was nice overall. I enjoyed it though he didn’t let me pay.

When I got into my room, I looked at myself again in the mirror, I was flushed but in a good way, my face was purely smiling, my eyes wider than before and I felt the exhilaration of tonight burning in my stomach. But my smile simmered down when I remembered that it was goodbye, my eyes trembling as it went blurry, I would miss him terribly.

I sighed and closed my door, ridding away the feelings. I was knackered from the energy.

I found my open laptop screen on my small desk in front of my bed, there was a notification that I got a new email, I wondered from who when I sat down after throwing my clutch to the bed, releasing my feet from my heels of torture, a yawn escaped my lips, but I managed to read the email.

It was the SAT math section preparation materials, which he mentioned before. He was a genius, my eyes scanned the material properly in order to plan which to study first, and then I replied to his email in gratitude. I couldn’t keep my mouth from grinning widely at his thoughtful gesture. It was a part of the exchange we had before, and that made me know that he wasn’t letting go of a possibility of a friendship. He was fighting for us. I didn’t know why I got scared in the end of the deep tumble of emotions, maybe because by then, I wouldn’t get enough strength to fight with him, afraid of what Ava might do to me and of the destruction caused by her towards my goals.

I emailed back, “Thank you, good night.”

Noah replied immediately, “Good night.”