Rumoured

Beautifully broken

I lay on my bed lazily analysing everything that had happened. I was unusually calm. I mean when people suddenly come up to you and tell you that they are demons and angels, you are either supposed to laugh at their faces or call 911 considering that they were acting crazy. But I did no such thing. It actually surprised me how easily I believed Agustin like I always knew that he was what he claimed to be. And I still know that he is saying the truth even though he didn't give me any proof of such existence. 

Maybe it was a mate thing? The undeniable trust I feel towards him? Nevertheless, I am completely and utterly am in love with him. Its weird, these things I am feeling. This tingly sensation throughout my body whenever he touches me. The loving look he gives me makes my heart flip a thousand summersaults in a second. And not to mention the permanent blush that exists whenever I am around him. It sounds so very cliché, but now I know that maybe- love does exist.

I never felt love before. Didn't know that something like that existed till I met Agustin. Not even with my parents- Nope no, Amara, don't go there. I shook my head vigorously to remove all thoughts as I got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. Washed my face, did my business and got ready for school. I had never been so excited to go to school ever before. In my life. Ever. School had always been a compulsion for me, as I never believed in a thing called 'high school experience.' And I know the reason for my excitement- my beautiful angel mate, Agustin.

I opened my front door and as if on routine, I heard Agustin's bike's roar. I looked over my shoulder too see my ever so hot boyfriend- yes boyfriend look at me with a smug smile on his face. He was planning to tease me today. I could tell, by the look on his face. But I don't mind cause everything about him pleases me, even the worst. Oh my god I am talking like an overly attached stalker again. Stop!! 

"Hey" He greeted me with the same smug smile and loving gaze. 

"Hi" I replied shyly as the blush crept back on my face. I walked towards him as he placed the helmet on my head and clasped in on and that is when it hit me. Oh no! I am supposed to tell him everything today. What if he decides he does not want me anymore after I tell him? What am I going to do then? I was horrified and maybe it showed on my face.

"What's wrong?" He asked his expression turning into a frown and eyes showing worry. 

I stood there for a while and started at him, remembering everything that is happening. But I had to tell him. I did. I can't just hide it from everyone forever. "Agustin, I have decided that I will tell you everything today." I stated emotionlessly. 

"Ok...if you want to" He said still unsure and his eyes travelling all over my face maybe to decipher what I am feeling. 

With a big sigh, I spoke again. "I will tell you at lunch, but, um only you, please". I didn't want the others to know. Yet. His hand came up and cupped my cheek as he said, "Are you afraid that I will leave you Amara? If you are thinking that , don't. I would never leave you- no matter what." I would be lying if those words didn't make me feel much better. I nodded as I leaned into his touch. We stood there like that for a while and then he pulled me gently tugging me on his bike as he drove off to the place where all my secrets will be revealed. 

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I was sitting in my class- the period just before the bell for lunch. Time flew by today like no other day. As each minute passed by, my heart beat increased. It took everything in me to not chicken out of telling Agustin. I could practically feel my heart racing and that's when it happened. The bell. 

Ring, ring, ring. 

And I just sat there, looking out the window, let everyone leave first. Usually I would run out of class as soon as the bell went off but I wasn't in hurry today. I took a few deep breaths. Ok. Here we go. Time to tell your boyfriend everything. And with that, I walked out of class. 

People passed by in the corridors but I was too busy in my own thoughts. I walked as slow as I could to delay the inevitable. I saw the table from a few meters away, to find the boys already sitting there. But not Agustin. I let my gaze look around to any approaching figure in the secluded area, but could see none. 

"Boo" Came the sound as I jumped and soon found myself in the ally between the two buildings of school, as my eye connected to the beautiful mis-matched once. 

"Agustin! You scared me!" I placed a hand on my even-faster-beating heart. 

His gaze turned from amusement to love so plane and clear and his features visibly softened. I stood there and took a moment to compose myself. This is it, Amara. The perfect place and the perfect time. Tell him everything. I looked up at him to find him already looking back at me with an intense stare. 

"Ok, so I guess this is where I tell you everything." I look a deep breath again. I'll keep it as short as I can. All I wanted to do was get this over with. 

"I will start from the beginning. I was six years old and that is when my little sister was born. Before that, my parents were pretty much abusive. They never wanted me as my mom got pregnant when she was in high school and my dad was forced to marry her once of age. From the day I was born, all I had seen was drugs and alcohol all around the house. My parents were addicts and they didn't want anything to do with me. I realised that at a very young age- so I ran away when I was six, never planning to come back. But of course, they found me and dragged me back home. That's when they told me that I was going to be a big sister and I never thought of running away again. The abuse stopped till my sister was born. I was seven and my sister was one when I realised that my parents were back to being abusive and addicts. They were rarely home and whenever they used to come back, they would hit me for no reason. But I never said anything as I wanted to stay and protect my sister." 

I did not realise I was crying till I felt his hand on my cheek wiping the tears away. But I was not done. "This went on till I was ten and my sister was four. My parents frequently changed houses and changed my school, for what reason? I didn't know. I-I went to school that day. It was a normal day. I came back home and-and, I found her on the floor." By now my tears were flowing freely but I couldn't care less. The memories were too much to bear. 

"S-she was dead! I found her on the floor, dead. Someone had stabbed her and there was blood everywhere. I knew who did it very well- my parents. I tried waking her up so much, she just wouldn't. Just wouldn't. My neighbours found us. Me crying and my sister dead on the floor and my parents no where to be found. The police came too and that's when my parents came back acting like that they loved me so much and they were mourning for my sister. I was too little, I didn't know what to do. The police didn't find any evidence against my parents or anyone for that matter and the case closed. I-couldn't get over it for a long-long time but my parents didn't care. They would leave me alone in the house and go do there thing. I had PTSD and saw multiple child psychologists but none could help. Eventually my parents started coming home less and I could be more thankful. There was even I time where I actually thought that I killed her- my sister. Maybe I did. Maybe if I was home that day- not fearing that my parents would hit me again- I could have saved her."

That was it. That was when I broke down in Agustin's arms being a sobbing mess.