Full Moon Defenders

Chapter 8

Auroras’s Pov

When I opened my eyes, the sun was already up in the sky. What time is it? Have I overslept? I tough. The truth was that I haven’t slept this well in years. I have forgotten how nice it feels to sleep with someone by your side, who hugs you and kisses you on the forehead before falling asleep. A warm feeling traveled through my body recalling last night's events. This is not good, Aurora. Stop thinking about these things again 'cause it doesn't make any sense. My brain knew exactly what he had to do but my heart was totally against it. That's the biggest fight I have faced and that I am still facing. Hopefully, one day this struggle will end so I can enjoy my life. It has never been easy for me to choose between the things I must do and the ones I want to do. Sometimes I feel that there is someone else inside me who pushes me to do things that surprise even myself, like yesterday, when I stood up to my brother so stubbornly. I am always calm and patient...or at least I was, but there are moments when I feel that I have to fight for what I want, that I don’t want to simply obey. Of course, such behavior is excluded in a pack. The only one who doesn't have to obey no one is the Alpha and all the rest have to bow their heads in front of him. Maybe that is another reason why the people from the pack hate it so much. Many times I wonder if they will ever change their opinion about me, but as long as I will not be able to offer an answer to the questions "Where do I come from?" and "Who are my parents?" they will keep their distance from me. I don't judge them and I never did. They were scared. I knew that, but I also wanted to prove to them that they were wrong about me and that I was incapable of hurting anybody, especially them. The Full Moon Pack was my home. The home my father provided me, and due to the love and admiration I still hold for him, I will never turn against anyone from that pack, under any circumstances. I wish there was something I could do to demonstrate to them that there is no reason to be afraid of me. But what could it be? With that question in mind, I got up on the bed and went to my room, not before grabbing my dirty clothes from the floor.

The room was just like I left it. The wind was strong last night because there were some dropped things on the floor. Alex was right, I couldn't have slept in this room.

"Well, I guess that that will be the second thing I must do today. The first one will be a long and hot shower."

I ran to the bathroom, taking my T-shirt off on the way. It was amazing how it still smelled like him.

I shook my head as if that would dispel the thought, but I must be honest and concede that I won't be able to erase last night from my memory anytime soon. Deep down within my heart, I wanted it to repeat over and over again, but my mind knew better.

The shower was pure therapy. Thanks to the hot water, I managed to release the tension from my body and clear my head. The day will be a long one, full of preparations for tomorrow. Finally, my brother will be named the Alpha of the Full Moon Pack. I was so proud of him. He deserves it. Not because of the Alpha blood running through his veins, but because he worked his ass hard to deserve the role he inherited.

If his father were watching him, and I knew he was, he would feel so proud of the man his son had become.

I got out of the bathroom with a towel around my head and another one around my body and my surprise was not small to see three men in my room fixing my window. Fortunately for me, they were all focused on what they were doing and none of them had the time to notice me before I vanished again in the bathroom, slamming the door as a subtle signal of my presence.

I only saw them for one second, but it was enough to realize that the men were my brother, his future Beta and his best friend Marcus and Milo. I must have been very focused on my thoughts that I hadn’t even heard the noises from the other side of the door.

I couldn’t stay there forever, but the problem was that I had no clothes and most probably they will not finish with the window in a few minutes, so I could get out and get what I needed.

“Hey, sis, are you in there?” I heard my brother’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Yes, I am here. Could you tell me how much this is going to take? I can’t get out of the way I am right now.

“I have already brought you some clothes. If you open the door, you can have them,” he told me with a sly sense of humor in his voice.

Slowly, I opened the door wide enough so my hand could pass through it without having to face my brother because I already knew that there must be a huge smirk on his face and I wasn’t in the mood for that. If I could avoid a confrontation, why not simply take the opportunity?

I took my time getting myself ready before leaving the bathroom. I dried my hair and pulled it back in a ponytail, I brushed my teeth and put on the clothes my brother brought for me. Fortunately for me, they combined very well and I was perfectly ready for the day. There were plenty of things to do. So, I went out of the bathroom heading straight to exit the door. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. There was no point in me staying in the same room with three men. Easy to say, hard to do. Of course, my dear brother has to mess up all my plans.

“Where are you going in such a rush, sis?” he asked me, already blocking my exit.

“Alex, there are a lot of things to do for tomorrow and I have to help Olivia with the preparations.”

“I am coming with you. We are already done here”.

I took a look at the window. It was true. The boys were already picking up their tools from the ground and all the scraps of material. It was all done and tonight I will sleep in my bed.

“Great! Thanks for your help, guys!” I told them, grateful, but only Marcus dared to look at me and with a sincere smile he answered me:

“Anytime with pleasure.”

I smiled back at him.

Marcus is a great guy and a strong warrior. We haven't changed too many words in the past, but he never looked at me with fear and contempt like the others did. Maybe it was because he was my brother’s best friend or maybe he simply doesn’t believe that I can be a threat to the pack. He lives with his mother and his younger sister, Leila, who I think has a great crush on Alex, but that’s none of my business. His father died one year after Alex’s father's death and maybe that made the two of them get along so well: they share the same pain. He is almost as tall and muscular as my brother. They had trained together since childhood, encouraging each other to achieve greater performances, so it was obvious that he would be his Beta when the time would come, and that time is tomorrow. He must be as nervous as my brother, but there they were, in my room, fixing my broken window.

“In this case, let’s go!” I said, leaving the room without wasting another second of the day. Olivia must be waiting for me for hours.

The next 6 hours were an ordeal. The preparations seemed endless. Just when I thought I had finally finished something, something else appeared instead. I didn’t even have time to eat. Everything must be perfect for tomorrow.

The castle was full of people running from one side to another, something that happens only on big days like birthdays or The Moon Goddess Day. I loved those days because, for the rest of the year, the castle was empty. There is only me, my brother, and five servants, nobody else. The thought that I was responsible for that made my heart sad. I was the only thing splitting the pack in two: the ones against me and the ones with me. The bad part of the situation was that my brother was the only one who was not against it. When it comes to me, it's him against his pack and that was not good at all. But now, the castle was….alive, and it felt so good seeing the people so united about something so important for all of them. At least for today, they put aside their hatred for me and took part in the celebration as a whole and the result made all of us happy.

At the end of the day, everything looked amazing. The castle was full of beautiful-smelling flowers of all colors. Outside, we placed the long wooden tables and benches. In three lines separated by flower petal trails and each line had four tables. The kids used some jars in which they placed some candles and hung them on the twigs of the trees. On top of the tables, stretched from one branch to the other, we placed large white pieces of material to protect us from the rain, in case it rains. The tables were also covered with the same white material and the children had the task of putting flower ornaments there too.

Everything was so white, so bright, even though the forest didn't let much sunlight in, even though it was late spring and the sun was burning brightly.

Before going to sleep, I wanted to take another look at everything and make sure that everything was perfect for tomorrow. As I was standing in front of the castle, I sensed someone getting closer to me.

“You did a great job, sis! Everything is perfect for tomorrow”, Alex told me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“We did, not only me,” I answered without looking at him. I was so proud of the result of the teamwork, so proud of the people from the pack, and of the way they all worked together to make the day memorable for everyone.

“Ya, I guess you are right. It’s a teamwork result.” He was now admiring everything just like I was doing. After a few seconds, I broke the silence. I wanted to be the first to congratulate him.

“Happy birthday, brother! I wish you all the best in the new life that will start for you tomorrow. I know you will do a great job and you will not let anyone down. Father must be very of you.” He was looking straight into my eyes but there was nothing I could read on his poker face. He was just looking at me without a word.

“What’s wrong?” I asked without being able to hold his gaze anymore.

“It must be hard not to know when to celebrate your birthday. All these years, we have never celebrated your birthday because we never knew when it would be. We don’t even know how old you are. All we know is that you are more or less three years younger than me. I’m sorry, Aurora! I….”

“No need to apologize. You are not responsible for my situation, nobody from this pack is.” I took a deep breath and continued turning my gaze on him.

“I am not sure I want to know who I am, Alex. Your father kept this a secret until the very end. Probably he did it because he had strong reasons to do so, don’t you think? Maybe it is better for me and everyone if I never find the truth about my identity. Sometimes…. I feel a presence inside me that…I don’t even know how to explain it, but it scares me. I don’t know what it is, but what I do know is that I can’t control it. There are many things that you don’t know, brother, things that I hid from you because I feared your reaction. I don’t want you to look at me like the others do.”

He grabbed my shoulders and made me face him.

“Listen carefully, Aurora! No matter who or what you turn out to be, to me you will always be my sister. And I know exactly what you are going through because I have been watching you, observing you and I understand you more than you understand yourself. Don’t underestimate me, Aurora. Don’t ever think again that you can hide things from me ‘cause you can’t. If I didn’t say anything until now, it is because I wanted to give you space and time to analyze it alone. I was waiting for you to come and talk to me about those things but you never did. Why? You don’t trust me?”

I could see it in his eyes, he was very serious about that question. He thinks that I don’t trust him enough to share with him my secrets, but it was not true. It was not about trust, it was about fear. Fear that he might stop caring for me, loving me, being there for me, protecting me like always. I wasn’t ready to risk all that because it was all I had.

“Is not what you think, brother.” I bowed my head, rubbing my forehead with my fingers, frustrated that I couldn't find the right words to express what I was thinking. Why was it so difficult? Why couldn’t I simply be completely honest with him until the very end?

The truth about why I couldn't wasn't because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know how to be completely honest when I didn't even have all the answers. There were questions I asked myself over and over again, but the answers never came and I didn't know who could give me all the answers I needed.

I took another deep breath. It was getting late and cold. I didn’t want to continue the conversation because it led to nowhere. I must search for the answers myself and my answers were not in that place.

“Let’s drop it for the moment. I am very tired and I need to sleep”, I told him, hoping he would listen to me.

“NO! You are not going anywhere. We will talk about this now.” If you do trust me, then why you never came to me to talk about everything that’s going on with you?”

“Because what I have are all questions and you can’t answer any of them. Or could you? Can you tell me who the hell my parents are? Are they dead or alive? Did they give me to your father or did he find me somewhere in this forest, because I don’t remember how it happened? Can you tell me what kind of beast I have inside ‘cause I know that there is something, I can feel it deep inside my bones. Can you tell me how the hell I can communicate with animals or how I can control the elements of nature because I can do that? I can split the water of the lake in two if I want. Did you know that?” I was yelling. I couldn’t control my anger and my frustration anymore. It was the first time that I had said all that out loud and I couldn’t stop myself anymore. Now he knows it and there is no turning back.

“Now tell me, brother, can you answer these questions? Do you understand what the hell is going on with me?”

He didn’t say a word. He continued to look me in the eyes without being able to say anything. But I didn’t stop there. I can’t stop anymore.

“Of course, you can’t ‘cause you don’t know anything and you don’t understand anything about me. And the worst part is that even if you would like to help me, you can’t. NOBODY CAN HELP ME!

Anger coursed through my veins and I couldn't stop it. A twinge ran down my spine and the earth ran out from under my feet. It wasn't in my imagination, it was happening. The earth was shaking.