To Love Another

Brave Faces

My breathing slowed as I sank into the feeling of Daniel’s thumb rubbing my upper arm. With my head resting against his chest, I could hear his steady heartbeat. A sound I never expected to hear again.

“Lydia? How are you feeling?” Daniel asked. Only his voice was different. A little bit deeper than usual. As I stiffened slightly in his arms, I could have sworn I heard a growl rumble from deep in his chest. I took a deep breath and looked up into Daniel’s eyes. Green, not blue.

“Kai?” I pushed myself away and scanned the tree line in search of Daniel. “Why didn’t you correct me when I called you…?”

“You were already in distress,” he looked down at his shoes, “I thought it might make things worse if I reminded you that he’s gone.”

I still felt a sharp pain in my chest at the words ‘he’s gone’, even though I already knew it.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked, wrapping my arms around myself.

“We were in the truck behind you. When I saw you tumble out, I offered to come looking for you.” He let out a slight chuckle, “Your mom was hysterical.” I felt a pang of guilt. “But I told them I would bring you to the church with me.” He said quickly, noticing my internal struggle.

“I can’t do it, Kai.” I shook my head vigorously, my curls bouncing around my face. “I’m not going in there.”

“I felt the same way this morning. The thought of seeing my best friend like that… I barely got out of bed.” He walked over to where I was standing and rested his hands on my shoulders.

“What changed your mind?” I asked.

“Well,” he thought for a moment, “I thought about a time when we were 18. We got into a huge fight. Monumental. Words were said, things were thrown, doors were slammed. We didn’t speak for over a week. You’d think we were going through a break up. But then one day, Dan showed up on my doorstep. He had prepared a big speech about how he was going to fight for our friendship, no matter what it took.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for him. I had been a complete d**k to him. I wouldn’t have blamed him if we had never spoken again. But there he was, ready to forgive me. So, the very least I can do for him now, is be there for him one last time.” He shuffled once and looked away.

“What did you fight about?” I asked.

Kai blushed, “Nothing that’s needs to be talked about right now.”

I sat down on the log and rested my head in my hands.

“L, I know how much you loved him. And I know without a doubt that he loved you the same, if not more. This will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done and, hopefully, will ever have to do. But I can guarantee that if you don’t do it, if you go home instead, you will regret it.” He gently placed his hand on my back, “This is your last chance to see him, to hold his hand, run your fingers through his hair, to say goodbye.” I shook my head again, tears blurring my vision. “If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for his parents. They adore you, and to see you there would give them strength. To know that their son was able to bring so much joy and love to someone’s life, that his life touched someone so deeply, will bring them light in this dark time.” He tightened his grip on my shoulder and slowly lifted me to my feet. “So, are you coming with me?”

I mustered all of the strength I had left and nodded. “I’m with you. Thank you, Kai. I would never have left the woods if you hadn’t come for me.” I pulled him into a light hug. And just before I pulled away I felt, more so than I heard, him quietly mutter, “Mine.”