DARLINGS: He’s cold-hearted, but he’s mine

2

Some things never change but unfortunately, some things do. Those changes are lessons to be learned in life. Some of them make us and some of them mar us forever.

The only constant thing in life is death, but sadly, it took me years to realize that. Some things are lost forever, and those you trust will jilt you when the need for them to stand by you comes. I had experienced the loss of my father and had watched my mother die before my own eyes. Watching those who brought me into the world give up on life has made me sometimes think of giving up as well. However, whenever I remember that I have someone I need to protect, someone I owe my life, I immediately discard the thoughts.

People are the most inconsistent part of life. They can change as fast as the wind blows. Those we love and care for may never reciprocate our affection. The truth is, the most painful thing about betrayal is not the stab in the back, it is turning around and realizing who had the knife. Unfortunately, it took my father losing everything he had to learn that life lesson. I, however, have always believed that he was weak. He gave up without thinking about his family. I wondered though if he regretted his decision while he was on the brink of death. I always wished I could see him and ask him if those he died for were worth it.

My mother on the other hand was a fighter. She stood by us and protected us until she couldn't anymore. She died of cancer and as I watched her take her last breath that night, I promised myself to carry on her legacy. I gave up everything I had for my brother. My dream, my happiness, and my comfort, I gave it all up for him. But destiny seems to only have bad things in store for me, here I am again, watching over my brother on his sick bed.

I watched him smile in his sleep and a tear couldn't help but slip down my eyes. I felt guilty, he was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. The fact that he could still smile despite his situation made me want to protect him even more. His innocence and optimistic outlook on life have never ceased to amaze me. I needed money for his surgery but yet I had no hope. I had already dropped out of school to make ends meet and getting as large a sum of the money as was needed for his surgery is almost a mission impossible for me.

My head was hurting and the burden life placed on me was crushing me. I was tired but I wasn't allowed to say so. My greatest fear was that I would lose the only family I had left to the cold hands of death. The only dream I had left was to see him alive and happy, why is the world out to crush my last dream? Will I survive the death of another family member? What hurt me even more was that I didn't have enough time to accompany him. I don’t have enough time to stay by his side all day long. I smiled sadly and placed a kiss on his forehead. I had to leave to meet someone who claimed he would be able to help.

********

I quietly sat by my boyfriend who had been on his phone since we arrived at the venue he claimed we were to meet his boss. According to him, he was meeting his boss for an important business and had asked me to accompany him. I, however, would have turned down the invite and rather watch my brother sleep all night rather than attend some company dinner that has nothing to do with me. But he promised me he would help settle some part of my brother’s surgical fees. Don’t quote me wrong, I never asked him to pay me for my service, he was my boyfriend after all and he doesn't need to pay me for stuff like this. But he willingly offered to help, and I was in desperate need of money that I couldn't refuse.

As I glanced at him beside me, I couldn't help but sigh. I have known him for the past five years. It was right before I dropped out of college. He was a regular at where I worked one of my part-time jobs at that time but surprisingly I had never met him until one faithful evening, I was feeling down, angry, and frustrated. I was extremely anxious and tired, as my mother was on her deathbed. I was very young back then but I still had to work to feed all three of us. I, however, had never complained or whined about it. But that day wasn't my day. Everything seemed to be going against me, and then he walked up to me, I wasn’t willing at first but slowly he made me open up to him. Like an angel sent to me, he consoled me, tried his best to make me happy, and helped me pull through the most difficult period of my life. He was the man I love. When my mother passed away, he was the only adult around me. He lent me his shoulder when I needed a shoulder to cry on. When I had to put on a font in front of my brother and pretend to be okay, he saw through me. He taught me that crying doesn't make me a weakling, it makes me human. He made me realize that it's right for me to cry when I’m hurt. He told me that, if I keep my worries and sadness all locked in, it will slowly kill me without actually killing me. That was the man I love, but recently he had seemed distant.

I wasn't sure if I was imagining things due to my insecurities, but he didn't seem like the man I used to know anymore. He seemed tired of me and even though that was a hard pill to swallow, I had no time or strength left to wallow in self-pity and cry over heartbreak. I had foreseen this moment and I had always reminded myself that if my father’s relatives could stab him in the back, then anyone could do the same. So, whenever I got extremely happy, I always made sure to remind myself that with the ever fleeting time is a moment of happiness. Nothing lasts forever and the moment of happiness will surely pass away. I reminded myself that he could leave me at any time, just like my mother and father who had promised to protect me till eternity, he could jilt me as well.

A waiter brought drinks to the private suite we were in and even though it was for a split second, I noticed a glint in his eyes. His eyes lingered on my boyfriend and I felt like they were communicating through their eyes. As I watched him leave, I couldn't help but wonder if all I saw was just a figment of my imagination. I sighed and shrugged it off after a while. Whatever it was is none of my business.

“ How much longer do I have to wait? ” I asked him tiredly.

“ I’m sorry, babe. They will be here soon ” He replied with a smile.

That was the smile I fell for in the first place. A smile that was as bright as the stars, I could feel my uneasiness dissipate and I smiled warmly back at him.

“ Have a drink ” He offered, dropped his phone, and made to pour me some wine.

“ Wouldn’t it be rude to be drunk before your boss gets here? ” I asked quizzically.

“ Common, babe. Who gets drunk over a glass of wine? ” He mused.

I chuckled and took the glass from him. He’s right, who gets drunk over a glass of wine?

“ My boss is close by, ” He said standing up after receiving a message on his phone. “ I want to have a word with someone outside before they get here. I’ll be back ”.

I nodded in response and went on to gulp down the remaining wine in my cup.

I wanted to have more, but I reminded myself that I have to maintain my composure in front of his boss and colleagues. But it wasn't long before I started to feel dizzy and hot. I gently tugged the neck of my dress, what was happening to me?

I sighed and shook my head in an attempt to remain conscious. But I only seem to be getting worse every passing second. I took hold of the bottle of wine to check how many percent of alcohol was present in it, but my vision was getting blurry.

“ This isn’t going to work ” I mumbled to myself and took my cell phone in an attempt to call my boyfriend but his line wasn’t going through.

“ Gosh! ” I sighed in frustration, “ Maybe I should leave ”.

I might as well leave and explain to him the next day rather than stay and risk embarrassing him in front of his boss. I stood up but ended up staggering. My feet were wobbly but I knew I needed to leave. I was feeling uncomfortably hot and uneasy. I staggered out of the suite and took a passage that was connected to the bar’s exit. But just as I was almost at the exit, someone grabbed me from behind and covered my nose with a piece of clothing. I was already weak so my feeble struggle didn't affect whoever was behind me. I unwillingly sniffed in the contents of the piece of clothing and everything went blank soon after. The noise from the loud music that was played became distant and my eyes slowly closed as I slipped into oblivion.

When I opened my eyes again, I was alone in a room. I rubbed my eyes groggily and sat up. I was feeling hot, and the only thing I wanted to do was to take off my clothes and get in a cold shower. It seems like I was still under the influence of the wine I took or maybe something else had been done to me. I got on my feet but the throbbing in my head made me fall back on the bed.

I felt dizzy and my vision was blurry. My body doesn't seem to belong to me anymore and my brain wasn’t thinking straight. I just lay there, tugging on my clothes, wishing someone could take them off. Soon, I heard the door to the room I was in open and closed. Even though my vision was blurry, I still noticed someone stagger into the room.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. When I opened them again the figure was by the bed, my vision was still blurry but from what I could make out of the figure, I felt like the intruder was a man. My doubts were confirmed by the sound of his voice.

“ Who are you? ” He asked somewhat angrily.

Weirdly, my body seemed to react to the sound of his husky voice. I breathed shakily and stood up. Staggering up to him, I took hold of one of his hands and whispered in desperation. “ Help me ”.

My hands wandered, our lips met and we kissed each other aggressively with extreme urgency. Soon my dress was off and I was caged on the bed by this stranger who might be able to quench the fire of my desire.