To Shirley
1037 Words
MILIANI
Each day felt like a repeat of the one before. I woke up early, got dressed and headed out, my resume clutched in hands.
The job-hunting journey had started a few days back and six days into it, I would have given up if I had a choice.
The first place I had gone to, to search for a job was a small marketing firm. I sat in a cold waiting room for what seemed like forever. My hands trembled as I flipped through my resume one last time, trying to calm my mind.
When they finally called me in, the interview felt mechanical. The questions were the same ones I had answered a hundred times before: “Tell me about your strengths,” “Why do you want to work here?” I gave them the answers they expected, though I didn’t believe a word of them. My heart wasn’t in it.
Again, they told me they would be in touch but I could tell by the way they didn’t meet my eyes, the way they practically pushed me out the door, that I wasn’t what they were looking for. Another rejection.
With every new company I visited, the same story unfolded: polite smiles, rehearsed questions, and cold, disinterested responses. Each time, they’d promise to “get back to me”.
By the time I reached the fourth company, the drive in me had started to wane. After getting a rejection, I returned home.
Clarissa wasn’t home yet. I let out a sigh and strolled to her bathroom to have a shower since the one in my room was faulty.
I had barely stepped into her bathroom when something tucked behind the toiletries on her counter caught my eye. At first glance, it looked like a regular box—maybe toothpaste or a new skincare product. But as I got closer, I froze.
A pregnancy test.
My heart skipped a beat. A rush of curiosity and excitement burst inside me. Pregnant?
I leaned in closer and spotted the faint lettering on the side of the box. It was definitely what I thought it was. My fingers hesitated midair, hovering over the box, torn between respecting her privacy and needing to know more. But the temptation won, and I carefully plucked the test out of its hiding spot.
Positive.
I gasped, clapping a hand over my mouth before the sound could escape. She hadn't said a word about it. How had she kept this to herself?
I could feel a mix of emotions swirling in my chest—excitement, confusion, a hint of worry for her. Was this planned? Was she okay? I glanced at the door, half-expecting her to burst in and catch me snooping, but the house was silent.
Setting the test back exactly where I found it, I took a deep breath and tried to collect myself. I still wondered how she had kept it away from me?
A thousand thoughts crossed my mind all at the same time ranging from how long had she known, why had she kept it from me to who was responsible for it? She was single! She was not in any relationship as she claimed all that mattered to her was her business and she wasn’t ready for a relationship yet.
I tried to get the thoughts off my mind and stay calm but I could not get myself together. I however managed to have my bath and then returned to my room to get dressed. After a few hours more, she returned, looking quite stressed and worried.
“Are you okay?” I questioned and she nodded. I bit my tongue, not sure if to tell her what I had actually seen or pretend like I had seen nothing. She proceeded to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
“I had to use your bathroom today. The shower in mine isn’t functioning.” I informed her and her eyes widened as she almost choked on the water. She stared at me wide eyed and I knew for a fact that I could not hide it anymore.
“Yes.... I did see the pregnancy strip. You are pregnant? How? Who is responsible for it?” I probed and leaned in closer to her. “I know you are not in a relationship and.... did you go back to Max? After what he did to you? Is he...”
“It is none of your business!” she yanked her hands off mine and proceeded to her room like I had asked a very terrible question. I was left with guilt and confusion. Something did not add up.
Her reaction to me finding the pregnancy was too aggressive, it was beyond embarrassment.
I contemplated going to her room to apologize when her phone buzzed. I guess she had been so upset that she didn’t even know her phone had slipped off her hands in anger. It was .. Lennon. I was curious to find out what was happening but I didn’t want history to repeat itself.
My pulse quickened as the phone buzzed again. This time, a message preview appeared beneath the name.
“I know you are scared but it is going to be okay. I will take care of you and our baby.”
I staggered backwards in shock. What was this? With trembling hands, I grabbed the phone closer, torn between wanting to know more and feeling like I had crossed too many lines. Taking a deep breath, I opened the chat and saw it all, leaving me gasping for air.
She stepped out, possibly to grab her phone but froze the minute she saw me. Her eyes widened, darting between my face and the phone, where the message from him still glowed on the screen. For a split second, her expression was unreadable—shock, fear, and something that looked like desperation all tangled together.
“Give me that,” she said, her voice sharp but shaky.
I didn’t move. I kept my eyes locked on hers, the silence between us stretching like a taut rope ready to snap.
“So.... it was you.... Clarissa... or should I say.... Shirley?”
- Writer
