Her Ravaged Life

Ch. -17-

 “And sometimes, there is only bogeyman waiting for you in the dark,” I reply with bitterness in my voice, and I can’t figure out how to make myself feel better again. To feel like someone who is capable of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel instead of being afraid that the tunnel could collapse on top of you any minute.

 “He is not the monster you think he is. But I also know that this is not what you want to hear.” She raises from the seat she took when we started chatting and was getting ready to leave. 

 “Why didn’t he marry any of the women throwing themselves at him?” I couldn’t let her leave. Talking to her kept me sane and I didn’t want to be left alone with my stupid head again.

 “I don’t know. Some say he never got over Lilian, some say he’s gay, others that they weren’t good enough for him. Who knows, he’s not the most talkative guy out there,” she said jokingly. 

 I loved talking with her. She was easy going and the more I spent time with her the better I felt about my rock bottom of a life.

 “Did you know Lilian?” Only information I found about her during my research was that she was killed with a single gunshot to the head, her funeral was closed casket and only immediate family was allowed to attend. No pictures, no history, just the little article about her death is all that is left of her.

 “I did, but enough about that. Do you want something to drink or are we still breaking stuff?”

 “Well champagne didn’t work out too good for me so maybe coffee,” I ask hoping this time I will actually be able to walk out of this bird on my own two feet.

 “Give me two minutes.” And she disappears behind the curtain.

 We chat for the rest of the flight about this and that but nothing in particular. Soon it is time to buckle up and dive head first into reality.

 When we are parked, she approaches me and places everything I had packed, but he took from me, in my arms. 

 “I really hope you give him a chance eventually, he might be worth it,” she says and squeezes my hand before hurrying away. 

 And here I am. Still awake, still walking on my own. 

 I step out of the aircraft and there is black Lincoln waiting for me. It is like the games will never end. I am half a world away and he still finds ways to get my blood rushing to my head. We might be married on paper, but that’s it, he has no real power over me.

 I search my bag for my phone to Uber home and I have two missed calls plus one message. Both calls are from Dan, one and only bastard worse than Barraza, seems like I have developed a magnet for assholes. The message is from Barraza, ‘Take the car. I need to know you are safe. Your Husband.’

 Safe? I snort at his message. I was safe, very safe before his little temper tantrum that flew me to God knows where and bounded my future to him, his criminal activities and enemies. Thanks to him, from now on I am always looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is coming after me to hurt him.

 I discard his request and walk pass the Lincoln to wait for my Uber. There is no way I am giving him the pleasure of thinking that I need him. He can sit in his villa and order another bride if he wishes, I am done.

 Drive home is eventless, and I enjoy the familiar sights that swoop by my eyes. The buildings, neon lights and streets that have been my home for so long make me feel calm and content. Now I have to start rebuilding my life from the ground up, but it gives me the chance to reevaluate my previous choices. 

 When I finally reach home, I fall on my bed and try to erase the last day and half from my memory. If he really keeps his distance and stays out of my life, I can be his estranged wife nobody knows about. Marriage is just a paper. Right?

ONE WEEK LATER.

 I have been killing my brain for a week now. When I decided to come back, I knew this was the best thing for me, the right thing. Everything about him and his actions screamed atrocity, yet my curious nature is wondering what he had to offer. What if I stayed, what if I acted as his wife, what if I succumbed to my attraction to him. 

 I need something to turn my brain off. Being here alone with one million on my bank account and this giant of a ring reminding me what happened, will send me to the madhouse soon.

 I need someone to talk to. Another human being. Another beating heart. Barraza was right, I never bothered to make any friends and now I have no one to call, no one to confide to. I used to think that family would be enough but look how great that thought turned out.

 I take the post-it that was slipped into my purse by Paige some time during the flight and read it over and over to decide if I should contact her. ‘If you ever need to talk, call me, Paige’ and she added her cell number. I really liked her, but she is standing to close to Barraza, I don’t know if I can trust her. Actually, I am pretty sure I can trust her, but not him. It is better for her if I don’t get her mixed up into the mess I am in. 

 If I only had someone other to call. I can explain her what is going on and she can hang up if she wants. She can make the decision herself.

 I place the note next to the phone and start dialing the numbers. I get half the numbers down and slam the handset back to the base. She is too close to him. 

 Only other person I ever cared to talk to at the office was Willa, the secretary. She is this overweight wallflower who turned out to be quite funny when you invested little time to get to know her.

 We never hang out or talked about personal issues, but she might be the only person who would accept my invitation to out and have coffee, to talk. 

 Our call was short and to my surprise, she refused. Well, f**k my life. People with no friends refuse to talk to me, I don’t want to delve into that thought too much cause on top of everything, I really don’t want to become suicidal as well.

 Whatever. I will continue what I have been doing for the past week. Watch Netflix and eat my troubles away. Just me and my calories.

 I ordered Chinese and 45 minutes later I am opening my door to the courier.

 “What the f**k!” No more hiding, I guess.

 “Hello princess,” says the most disgusting slithery voice.

 “Dan?”