Fury

Letting Go

"Sometimes we have to let go of what's killing us, even if it's killing us to let go." I read somewhere, the words couldn't be harder to live by. 

How do you let go of something that haunts you constantly. 

Hot water flowed over me as I shook my head from the memories trying to overtake me.  Turning the shower off I stepped out, wrapping my cobalt blue towel around me. Wringing my hair out once more before looking through the closet for clothing. I picked my silk shorts and top sliding them over my still warm body. 

After finishing my nightly routine, I moved to gather my laptop and the files I brought home from the office. The report from our recon mission still needed to be finished along with the countless other follow-up reports. I sighed and started typing only to stop halfway into them deciding I needed caffeine. 

I padded down the steps of our condo to the first floor kitchen to start the coffee pot. White and gold granite counters paired with pearl cabinets and cobalt blue accents covered the room. I smiled at our home. Dolly and I had such a similar taste, I swear we were the same person. 

The beeping from our pot pulled my admiration away as I pulled my favorite mug from the cabinet. It was from Disney world, Tinkerbelle with messy hair and a bathrobe that said "Mornings aren't magical." I loved this cup, Dolly bought it for me when we took our trip there last year. 

One of rare times to be able to get away and enjoy life. I smiled at he memories, stirring in the teaspoon of sugar. I turned to the icebox to find my French vanilla creamer mumbling a damnit, when I could only find the Irish crème. It was Dolly's turn to grocery shop and she obviously forgot my preference. 

Finishing fixing my cup with milk instead I then moved  to find a snack. Finding a box of chocolate chip teddy grahams I did the happy dance jumping up and went back to my coffee. 

'Such a child' Delilah rolled her eyes at me. 

'Oye shut it ye animal' I faked an accent as I moved toward the bedroom. 

She snorted at me and I smiled to myself, it was nights alone like this that I never really felt lonely. Delilah was with me now and that was all that mattered. To someone who didn't know about shifters like us, we would seem to be crazy. I mean afterall having conversations with yourself did make you seem a little odd. 

I wasn't born a shifter, no I was made this way after I escaped. Moving to the bed I propped up on the headboard and sipped my coffee as I looked out the large windows overlooking the city lights. My bedroom was decorated in the same golds, whites and blues as the rest of the house. 

No we weren't the typical bachelorette pad with everything pink and extremely femininely. Not to say we didn't like pink or glittery things and colors. We just decided we wanted to have a neutral zone, one calm and relaxing. 

Setting my coffee on the white nightstand, I put a few pillows behind me then pulled my laptop over. Finally cozy I took the next few hours to finish my reports for Monday. Slapping my MacBook closed I sighed in relief, only to reach for my coffee and it was cold as ice. 

I growled and looked to my bedside clock reading 2:13 am. I couldn't believe I had taken that long to finish up, but at least it was finished. Unlike Dolly, I hated to get behind on paperwork. Even though id lived a long life and had many different jobs, identities and homes this city was my favorite. My job as an agent was by far my favorite as well. 

I jumped slightly when I heard a bump downstairs. My hair stood on end with my breathing coming to a halt. Delilah come forward to listen helping as my hearing and sight zeroed in. A second bump had me moving to the bedroom door half shifted. My claws elongated as I peeked through the door. 

"ah s**t" The voice made me calm and shake my head, retracting my claws I sighed in relief.

I waited until Dolly made it up the steps and turned to her doorway, I jumped from my door "DOLLYROOO" I yelled and she yelped then fell to the floor. 

"Damnit Mia! I could have killed you ," Her heartbeat was in overdrive and she was glaring at me. Her eyes glowed yellow in the dark and her fangs were showing. I couldn't stop the fit of laughter as I watched her. My payback was well played and she deserved it for having me half shift. 

She growled at me again and huffed. " Next time don't be surprised if I claw that pretty face of yours Mia." 

I shook my head in return and wiped at my tears to reply " You wouldn't, you couldn't. My kitty is bigger than yours." I winked and helped her up from the floor, pulling her into an embrace. 

'p***y,' she mumbled as she hugged me back. I laughed into her shoulder. 

"Speaking of p***y" I wiggled my eyebrows as I gestured to her southern region. 

"Nope, Nope and Nope. No details for you now since you scared me." Dolly scoffed and gave me a playful shove as she moved to her room. Her hips swayed and she winked over her shoulder slamming the door before I could get to her. I rolled my eyes and yelled "Fine be a sour puss". 

She growled but I only laughed in return heading to my own room and closing the door. Pulling back my covers and sliding into the plush mattress I sighed and closed my eyes. Falling asleep quickly only to have my dreams invaded with more memories. 

~~~~

I remember his dark greasy hair, the feel of his clammy hands as he yanked arms. He was one of the rough ones, the kind that paid extra so he could act out his assaults without punishment. He backhanded me causing my lip to split and blood to drip down my chin. I gritted my teeth but knew there was no one going to save me. I had cried, screamed and begged to many times in the last few years to expect anyone to come. 

No, I had to be my own savior. 

On one of the rare occasions I was sober, I was able to recall a class I had taken in college. A Biology study about the belladonna alkaloids or nightshade plant. I managed to find the plant growing in a alleyway near dumpsters. It was a regular spot for our Jons to take us for a quick ram. 

Most of the time we are watched like hawks, even during our sessions. This time however my sitter was preoccupied with another one of the girls. I managed to pull enough of the berries into the top of my shoes while he finished dressing. 

The next time I had to see the rough one and I wasn't watched so much I would take them.

When he saw the blood drip down my chin, his beating slowed. "Oh baby, lets savor this moment. Afterall i paid extra to get you completely alone." At his words I knew I was in trouble. If I survived the night without being beat to death it would be a miracle.  My sitter was paid extra, he said for our solitude and I knew now was the time. He grabbed my neck squeezing tightly. I coughed and pulled at his hands to no avail. 

I was only human afterall and my strength was bare minimum after being starved, beaten and abused all this time. I scratched at his arms drawing blood and he grinned licking his lips at me. I cringed back when his tongue met my chin licking the red from my skin. 

I pushed harder and he let me go, dropping to the floor gasping for breath, I crawled towards the door. He grabbed my leg pulling me back and I used the moment to kick him in the face. He yelped but let out a laugh as I tried to scrabble away. My heart raced the sweat poured down my face mixing with my tears. 

"I love a good fight before a f**k, lets see if your worth the money." He grinned and came towards me. 

I wouldn't beg for mercy, for my life, no its what he wanted. What they all wanted, the sick bastards in this world needed us at their mercy for power. I cringed as his boot made contact with my back, the sole pressing into my already bruised spine. 

Pushed further into the floor, he started to speak again " Now, beg me. Tell me how I shouldn't hurt you. Plead for your life whore." I bit my tongue to keep the cry from escaping my lips. His boot lifted and he kicked me with force. 

"I said Beg!" He screamed as he kicked me again. 

I curled into a ball on instinct to protect my organs. He kicked me a few more times and I kept stifling my cries. His anger spiked, I looked up to see him pulling at his hair and mumbling to himself as he paced. In his distracted state I managed to get up and make it to the hallway. 

The room was a shabby hotel ripped old carpet smelling of piss and mold. The wallpaper was peeling away with rickety furniture and flickering lights. I'm sure the bedding housed many insects, not to mention diseases of all kinds. I searched for a weapon anything to cause him damaged but came up short. 

Before I could reach the door my hair was yanked and I fell backwards into the entry table. The impact shattered the rotten table and causing me to feel extremely disoriented. A swift kick to the abdomen had me coughing and sputtering. I looked up to see him grinning down at me, he was speaking but I couldn't understand him. 

My body was getting weaker by the minute, blood dripped down my chin and I wiped it away as I tried to stand but failed. I was on my knees when I felt him behind me, my dress was pulled up. I started to shake as I knew what was about to happen. I was starting to panic, even though I was in this position so many times however this time would be the last. 

~Mature Content reader be warned~ skim down if you want to skip~

My frantic eyes searched for somewhere to run, hide or just escape. His hands burned every inch of my skin, I held back a scream as he shoved into me. My body fell numb as he thrust, I felt my insides tearing. I could feel the blood dripping down my legs as he took me by force. 

Tears fell like waterfalls as I silent cried, my arms and legs shaking with his movements. I hated myself, I hated him. Everything. My life was supposed to be more, I should be graduating and working as a doctor not this. His fist gripped my hair and he yanked me back as he released inside me. 

~ Continue here~

I felt sick all over and immediately vomited bile and he let me go disgusted by me. I fell forward as I regained my strength, heavy breathing between the tears. Through my blurry vision I could see the shattered table, the splintered wood and glass from the vase. I reached forward grabbing one of the largest pieces of wood. 

I staggered when I stood but I was so enraged it was all focused on his back. He was fixing his pants with this back to me, I took my chance and lounged for him. The wooden leg sliced through his skin like planes through clouds. I smiled as his blood poured on the floor and his scream echoed the room. 

I pulled back and struck him again, then again. I didn't stop until his body fell limp against the floor. Blood poured from his back, sprayed on the ceiling and across the room. The sitter would be here soon, the commotion from his screams had drawn attention. 

Banging on the door ensued and I started to panic, scrambling to my heels I found the berries at tip. I only hand enough room in the pointed toes for six berries all together. My plan was to overdose, I was done with this life. Other girls had families or someone they threated to harm keeping them obedient. 

I was an orphan, alone and I refused to be controlled anymore. I took the berries and swallowed just as the door crashed in. Three men entered and when they seen the mans body they stepped towards me. No doubt planning to punish me, I gave a toothy grin and stood up ready for my punishment. 

I laughed when the closest one slapped me. He cursed me, his short hair, crooked nose and brown eyes baring anger. My body started to convulse and I dropped to my knees. Falling to my side as a sharp pain ensued in my abdomen. 

My vision was blurring and I smiled through it, I welcomed the dark and asked forgiveness for my sins. My last rights I thought bitterly, but I was ready. I laughed until my throat filled with foam.

Finally Letting go. 

 I woke up in a ditch next to the dead body and I immediately vomited. It was only bile as I hadn't been allowed to eat for the last few days, but the acidity burned my throat none the less. My body was bruised and raw as it has been the last few months.

 I stuffed down my gagging and pulled the pants and shirt from his body. Covering my own since I was in a torn dress. I didn't know how long I had been out but judging by my stiffness It was a while. 

I stumbled but found my footing and climbed out of the ditch to see I was in a heavily wooded area. I was scared to say the least, dark forest in the middle of night was a horror movie classic. My imagination started to run wild with the possibility of wild animal attacks. 

Nothing scared me more than being found by my captors though. I wasn't expecting to wake up, but here I was walking and breathing. I moved slowly using the trees for support, water was the only thing on my mind. 

I walked for hours until the sun was just coming over the horizon. I could hear the birds waking and for the first time in a while I felt a smile form. The blues, pinks and oranges of the sky where something I had only dreamed about lately. 

We only were allowed out at night and the sun was a rare sight for us. I sat down next to a large log and watched the sun continue to rise. It kissed my skin as if to say good morning child and you are safe. 

I sat for another few minutes enjoying the sun when I heard a growl. At first I thought it was my stomach from not eating, however the sound grew and when I turned I was met with the scariest moment of my life. 

Staring only a few feet from me was a large cream colored lion. Her teeth showed and her shoulders were hunched over in a lounge position. As if sizing me up, I could only gape at her, the scream lodged in my throat. 

My mind screamed for me to run but I knew I was no match for her. Hell I was barely able to stand much less run. I closed my eyes and muttered a few curses before I opened them. To my astonishment she was gone, in her place stood a woman. 

I blinked several times and wiped my eyes as if I was a hallucination. "Great job Mia, your near death experience is making you see things." I shook my head  as if to clear my thoughts only she didn't move. 

The woman was pale but had chestnut long curly hair to her mid stomach. It covered her breasts from view and her eyes where a bright green. I continued to stare at her as she looked back to me. I blinked again but she still didn't move. 

"Um....Hi" I knew it sounded dumb but I had to confirm she was real. Maybe I was really dead and I was stuck in purgatory I thought. I shook my head and closed my eyes taking a deep breath then pinched myself. 

I rubbed the skin and yelped at the pain, I looked back up to find her even closer. I obviously wasn't dreaming now. She studied me closely as I did her. 

"I'm Marda" Her voice was sweet like a spring breeze, her mouth curved to a smile. I gaped at her, I wasn't dreaming this was real. I continued to stare at her and had so many questions but I couldn't make myself speak. 

She held out a hand to me as she stood up, pulling me with her. I looked at our hands then back at her eyes. 

"Come child, you must be hungry." She said again as she gently led me further into the woods. What had I woke up into, a dead guy next to me whose clothes I stole. Now a woman. wait a lion what no. I was confused and disoriented. 

I followed her all the while watching my surroundings as if other things where coming for me. In the distance I could see an orange glow with smoke and white fabric. It must be a camp I thought as I continued with her. 

I just prayed it was a safe place, I was still nervous but what else could I do. I was not a live off the land kinda girl and I knew I wasn't on an episode of naked and afraid. Then again maybe I was, my best bet was to stay with this woman atleast until I figured out where the hell I was. 

So I did. I stayed and this beautiful clan of women gave me the greatest gift I could have ever received. 

A way for me to seek revenge in the most animalistic of ways. 

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