THE TALK
1370 Words
Tana came back from running two hours after I woke up. I had always been amazed at the great resistance of her, not only for exercising but for other things. Some time ago, Leah gave us some tickets to a cooking class - it was a couple’s class inside an Italian restaurant in the heart of Seattle under the direction of the chef. Pizza. We were going to cook pizza and the couple who cooked the best pizza would take home a basket with 5 bottles of wine of their choice and an unlimited access pass to the restaurant valid for only two months. It seemed like fun, Tana and I were more than eager to share such an experience. Unfortunately for me, I had completely forgotten how competitive my fiancée was and how hard-headed I was. Obviously, we didn't win, and we ended up getting kicked out of the restaurant and banned for life ... or until the chef resigned and died.
"Something smells good!" she said as she took off her clothes at the kitchen entrance. Tana's tanned body gleamed in the faint rays of the sun striking the tiny beads of sweat. She dropped her clothes to the floor and began to remove her tennis shoes. "Is it fattening food?" she asked panting, walked to the refrigerator and took two bottles of water to give one to me and one for her.
“Would you like some salad instead?”
She wrinkled her nose and shook her head vigorously. Lately she didn't feel like going on a diet and honestly neither did I. We decided to just relax until we had to get back to work. Work seemed like a stressful thing to do, especially after being forced to do so. When Tana and I landed in Cancun after escaping from Richard thanks to Julien's help, I immediately contacted Detective Rogers - who had been helping me locate Tana - and let him know everything that had happened. Rogers immediately took notes of everything and told me that he had discovered shady things- businesses where Richard was involved in, but we couldn't discuss it on the phone. That intrigued me quite a bit, for I wasn't going to let the son of a b***h have his way after everything he did to us. The only thing Rogers could tell me during that first call was that the movie Tana had been filming at Richard's mansion was already in production and would be released in Las Vegas. Richard would use that movie as a shield and argue that Tana and I had been in agreement from the beginning.
“I will go take a bath and be back in an hour or so.” She kissed my cheek and took off swaying her hips with the sole purpose of tempting me into joining her. I would have… but I was cooking.
True to her word, she came back after an hour or so (which ended up being way more than that) wearing nothing but one of my t-shirts. She had always looked lovely in them and so I continued to get more even though I rarely wore them at home or going out.
“I knew you were making tacos.” She groaned as she sat on the table. “Please tell me you put really big chunks of bacon in there as well.”
“You know I did.” I flashed her a grin when I set the bowl right at the center of the table. “Beer?” She nodded eagerly beaming at the freshly cooked beef diced stake with caramelized onions and bacon. Flour tortillas went better with this dish although I preferred the yellow corn ones the most, Tana always begged for me to use these ones instead. Fattening food, indeed.
“I won’t be able to fit in my clothes anymore after we leave, Madox.” Her eyes narrowed on me as she reached for one big tortilla.
“You don’t have to worry about it, sweetheart.” I said as I grabbed two beer bottles from the fridge and made my way back to the table handing one bottle to her before I sat down.
“Why not?” her mouth full now.
“You’re a porn star. Porn stars are naked most of the time.”
She blinked at me as if she had forgotten all about it but made no comment on it.
Tana and I ate in silence and only spoke when we asked for salt or napkins. I hadn't considered Tana's feelings about going back to work at all. "You don't want to act anymore?" I asked before taking a sip of my beer. She didn't answer right away but pursed her lips at the question. “You can tell me.” I was trying my best to be encouraging without seeming like a pushy bastard. It wasn’t that I wanted her to work, it wasn’t like that at all. If she no longer wanted to do what she’d been doing for so long and drop it all to the garbage for the sake of staying home and away from all dangers that existed in this world… we would have a big problem. Tana had always been strong and independent woman, rarely anything made her cower; having her feeling scared almost all the time whenever she saw a door opening or heard a beeping sound wasn’t normal. That wasn’t a life at all.
She shrugged and continued to eat.
“Tana…”
“It’s not like I actually act, I fuck.”
I winced at her tone. “You do a lot of simulated s*x unless they need a clear shot.” I reminded her reaching for her hand. She was eying me so strangely now. “But if you don’t want to do that anymore, that’s fine. You can always do something else.”
“I don’t want to work.”
“Oh?”
“Aren’t we getting married anyway? We can live off your money, you have plenty.” She snapped and pulled her hand back, placing it on her lap. “I want to stay home.” She muttered, mostly to herself.
“Money is not the problem here, Tana.” Had I approached the subject too soon? Was it too soon for us to disclose this? “I just don’t want you to hold back on living your life because of what happened.”
“Didn’t you go through something similar too? Being held against your will and forced to do things you didn’t want to do? Every time I had to perform or train, I thought of you and your safety- whether I’d see you again.” Her voice began to waver however she didn’t relent. “I loathe him, Madox. I loathe him for what he did to you the most.” Then she cried in earnest. “For what he made me do to you.”
“What would have happened if you hadn’t done it?” I whispered as I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arms around her shaking body. “Breathe, come on, just breathe.”
“He said he’d kill you if I didn’t…”
I nodded trying my best to remain calm for her sake. “Then it’s alright.” She stared at me as if I had gone insane and only cried harder. “You didn’t hurt me, I was in no pain at all and I must be honest with you,” Here goes nothing. “I kinda enjoyed it.”
“What?!”
“It was odd, I’ll give you that but having done that with you- excluding the part where Doll was riding me- I felt… good. And even though was meant to be scary and traumatic, in a way… It made me feel closer to you.”
“Madox…” she began but I cut her with a kiss. “Let me talk…”
“No.” she needed to understand this. She needed to know. “I’ve been having nightmares and strange fantasies when I am alone.” She tilted her head, gauging me. “I dream of the things Richard did to me and the things he had me do. And the strangest thing of all… disturbing at the same time, it’s that I always feel pleasure from that. Even when I was living through it all, I felt a great deal of pleasure.”
She nodded as if she was trying to take it all in and process it. But then, “I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yes,” she seemed more serene now. And as she held my gaze with her reddened eyes, she confessed. “Because it’s that way for me too.”
- Writer
