Memories Never Dies

Épisode 6

Chapter 5

Arriving at our destination, my driver turns off the Clio's engine and finally lowers the music, which jolts me out of my thoughts. Looking outside, I realize we're in the Tenclub parking. The place, isolated from the city and casting a blue-tinted glow in the night's darkness, is unique. Located beside the beach, this is where we like to meet our friends every Friday night after a week of work.

_ Do you want to grab a bite? asks Enzo, gesturing to the fast-food place across the street.

The pseudo-restaurant doesn't really appeal to me, but I'm hungry, so I accept.

Without leaving the vehicle—after all, that's the point of a drive-in—we quickly eat our sandwiches as Enzo shares a few anecdotes about his workday. Then, having finished our snack, we exit the car and begin walking towards the Tenclub.

As usual, Enzo takes my hand. A rather innocuous gesture, but one that, tonight, I perceive differently. It suddenly hits me that my lover has shifted from a detached attitude bordering on emotional moderation in private, to a much more attentive behavior in public. More of a show, intended to demonstrate to everyone's eyes that I am his property, rather than a way to show me his affection. A bit like a trophy that he would be proud to display, much like his Clio… A thought that doesn't fail to hit me. For the first time in three years, I wonder if, after all, our relationship isn't just based on a friendship and physical alliance, maintained by habit and devoid of depth... A brief reflection, quickly interrupted by the festive atmosphere that engulfs us as we approach the two-story building. A cacophony of sounds that intensifies even more when the bouncer, posted at the entrance, opens the door and invites us inside.

It's still early, but the place is already packed. Not surprising, since this multiplex, equipped with a nightclub on the upper level, also has a full space dedicated to the bar and another to billiards on the ground floor. A place that the boys in our group particularly enjoy, spending their evenings around these imposing tables, while we girls unwind on the dance floor. After a quick look at the gaming area, where enthusiasts play with great concentration, we make our way to the back of the room where Laura, my childhood friend, seated at our usual table, signals us to join her. A sight that immediately puts me in a good mood, making me keen to let go of my partner's hand and find my way into my friend's arms… My soul sister, my sister from another mister. The one who lights up my darkness and sets off my uncontrollable laughter. The girl who lives fifty meters away from me and whom I've known since kindergarten, The pretty brunette with dark eyes and her signature plunging square neckline, she prefers to flutter from flower to flower like a butterfly, without worrying too much. Even though she doesn't have a permanent lover, she shares the same view of life as me. Our bond goes beyond just that, as we share hobbies as regularly as life allows, enjoy a contagious good mood, and have a pronounced taste for beauty, fashion, parties with friends, and more… In short, you get the idea—we're like a party and music, inseparable.

_ Hey, buddies!

Laura cheerfully greets us, jumping up to hug me as we approach. I haven't seen her in a week. She then kisses Enzo, still wrapped in my arms, before inviting us to sit with her on the bench. However, my man, already worn out by our explosive duo, declines the invitation and scans the area.

_ Are the others not here yet? (he asks, raising his voice over the music.)

_ No, (Laura responds, mimicking his volume.) Antoine and Karl are on their way, and Joyce and Maxou will join us later."

_ OK! I'm going to the bar. Do you want anything to drink?

We nod and place our orders.

As soon as Enzo leaves for the bar, Laura starts the conversation. She's a waitress at a high-end local bistro and often interacts with high society's elite; her authenticity and candor frequently lead to amusing situations that usually leave me in fits of laughter… However, tonight, I'm not quite as receptive, and my contrived reactions catch my friend's attention.

_ Hey, Rosa? You with me, honey?( she prods, shaking me from my distraction.)

As if brought back to a reality I had momentarily deserted, preoccupied at times by my sister, at other times by Amaury, I open my eyes in surprise.

_ What? Yes… it's just that… sorry, I'm listening.

Laura's laughter encourages my apologetic smile, but I don't have time to linger on what just happened as she continues, eyes narrowed, filled with curiosity.

_ Oh, oh! Are you hiding something from me?

_ Not at all! ( I defend myself.) I'm just tired, that's all.

_ Of course! Just tired… Tell that to someone else, Rosa!

Instead of trying to justify myself, and without waiting for Enzo's return, I suddenly stand up and grab my friend's hand.

_ Come on, let's dance!

Laura shoots me an incredulous look.

_ Huh, I thought you were tired!

_ That's exactly why! It'll wake me up. Come on!

Laura sighs, implying that I'm not fooling anyone, but she follows me anyway.

Knowing that she won't let it go, I lead her upstairs. At least here, with the amplified sound system of the nightclub, I know that any conversation will be impossible.

Even though deep down, confiding in someone would be the best way to ease my conscience, between my strange dream and my last meeting, everything is so jumbled in my mind that I believe it's still too early to reveal anything to anyone. A festive wave, filled with deafening sounds, multicolored lights, and people grooving to the latest Latin hits, instantly envelops us as we enter the room. We struggle to make our way through the dense crowd and find a spot on the dance floor, just a few steps away from the DJ. With the help of the infectious rhythms, the warm atmosphere, and my lively friend, it only takes me a few minutes to let loose and fully immerse myself in the party.

A bit later in the evening, dehydrated, I step away from the dance floor to take a break at the bar. Patiently waiting for the bartender to take my order, I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. Thinking it might be my unwell sister, I grab the device and unlock it. Instead, I see a message from an unknown number:

UNKNOWN:

Good evening, can I offer you a drink?

I look up to find the person behind the audacious message. My eyes land on a man sitting just a few meters away from me—it's Amaury, Michel's nephew, the captivating Mr. Fashion-Model, looking even more fascinating than I remember.

What is he doing here?

My heart races as he waves at me, getting off his bar stool.

I'm panicking!

The sudden acceleration of my pulse causes a rush of blood to surge through my body so rapidly that, on top of the adrenaline rush, I feel like I might faint. My anxiety intensifies when I realize, without any tangible reason, that Enzo is also nearby, just a few steps away from us. But I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? It's not like I'm about to flirt right under his nose...

As Amaury approaches, his irresistible smile accompanied by a subtle lip-bite strikes me with another wave of heat. Thankfully, the dim lighting conceals the flush that reddens my cheeks.

_ Good evening, young lady!

He says, his face coming close to my ear so that his voice can rise above the sound system.

Uncomfortable and a bit caught off guard, I watch as he effortlessly indicates the empty bar stool next to me.

_ Good evening,

I respond. He nonchalantly gestures towards the empty bar stool next to me.

_ May I?

I nod my head, unable to object. The worst part is that the situation seems to amuse my "unexpected guest," who flashes me a drop-dead gorgeous smile just before motioning to the bartender.

Nico, the employee in question, approaches us and leans over the counter. Amaury whispers something in his ear, presumably his drink order, before turning back to me, his face so close to mine that our skin is almost touching. This newfound proximity, brimming with magnetic waves, puts me in a delicate position—but I also feel a certain anxiety about Enzo, or one of my friends, suddenly showing up and assuming that I'm flirting.

_ Can I offer you a drink? he spontaneously proposes.

Another caress brushes against the soft skin of my neck. Disconcerted, I lean back to put some distance between us before responding. But I only lose my composure even more as our eyes, mere centimeters apart, meet. While mine are undoubtedly dazzled, his are... breathtaking! It's like admiring the starry sky in the Atacama Desert, which, by the way, boasts the most beautiful night sky in the world.

_ Um... M-hm, a Coke, please,

As if to deliver the final blow, Amaury slowly slides his hand onto my mouth before moving away, a sly smile on his face, to complete his order with Nico.

While he leans in toward the bartender, Nico takes the opportunity to wink at me with highly questionable undertones. But I don't have time to contradict the implication and make him understand that he's mistaken, as Michel's nephew redirects his attention to me.

_ I hope I'm not disturbing you?

Under the influence of this damned emotional chaos that's difficult to control, I shake my head in denial, while a thought crosses my mind.

I furrow my brows and lean towards his ear in turn.

_ Weren't you supposed to fly back to Paris tonight?

Making the situation more uncomfortable than it already is, Amaury slightly pivots his face and fixes his two dark diamonds—his eyes—on me.

_ My flight was canceled. My uncle recommended this place to me...

An almost intolerable proximity and an unnervingly intense visual exchange are interrupted by Enzo's dramatic entrance; he doesn't seem to have missed any of the developing scene.

With a menacing air, the young man places a hand on Amaury's shoulder, forcing us to abruptly step back.

_ Everything alright, my friend? Am I interrupting something? he spits in Amaury's face.

Muscles tensed, jaw taut, and a dark look in his eyes, Amaury rises from his bar stool, towering over my boyfriend with his 6'2" frame, ready to strike back. Surprised, I observe Enzo, who, despite his muscular build, is still no match for Amaury. It takes me a few seconds to react. Before the situation spirals out of control, or Enzo finds himself in a vulnerable position, I intervene.

_ Everything's alright, 'N'!( I reassure him, pulling him close.) He's Michel's nephew.

The young man takes a step back and, to assert his territory, wraps his arm around my waist. A gesture that exasperates and revolts me in equal measure, which I make a point of expressing with an annoyed look at Amaury, while Enzo attempts to smooth things over.

_ Sorry, man. I thought Rosa was... well, you know what I mean. I'm Enzo, the lady's boyfriend,( he announces, extending his hand. )No hard feelings?

Amaury, who had just locked eyes with me, remains bewildered for a nanosecond before finally accepting the handshake.

_Amaury Sander, (he replies, offering no further courtesy.) And... I was just leaving.

However, Nico's arrival, bearing the drinks ordered earlier, stirs up hostilities, and the exchange of stares speaks volumes. The look Amaury shoots at the bartender is filled with reproach, which Nico immediately deflects with a regretful shrug, while Enzo is on the brink of exploding.

Sensing my irritation growing through the piercing glares I shoot at my partner, Amaury grabs his glass and empties it in one gulp.

_ As I said, I was leaving.

But just as he begins to turn away, Enzo grabs him by the arm for the second time.

_ It's fine, man. Don't worry about me; I've got a game of pool to finish anyway.

No sooner has he finished speaking the last word than he turns to me, takes my face between his hands, and kisses me passionately.

I am completely astonished, not having seen it coming!

If I had any doubts about his possessiveness, this display leaves no room for ambiguity. It's so obvious, in fact, that it's embarrassing. Not for me, of course, since I consider this closeness to be completely normal, if you ignore the clear "private property" aspect. No, I'm more concerned about Amaury. Because, without a doubt, I don't want to hurt or offend him. Because, without a doubt, I appreciate him more than I care to admit, and Enzo's ridiculous display has just thrown my heart into turmoil once again.

As the latter walks away, leaving Amaury and me alone, I experience a strange feeling. A sense of betraying him. Not in the literal sense, but by deceiving him with behavior that goes against what he has every right to expect from me. My guilt is compounded by the fact that I find myself involuntarily at the center of a sort of love triangle, with on one side the boy I've been with for nearly three years, and on the other, a man with unparalleled attractiveness. And the worst part is that, in a way, I've just received the blessing of the former to stay in the company of the other...

_ I'm sorry I put you in this situation,( Amaury interrupts, his face softening.) I didn't know your heart was taken... And on the other hand,( he smiles, staring at me,) it's not surprising!"

His words, heavy with implications and supported by an eloquent look, finish me off. Clearly, Amaury isn't ready to give up his game of seduction, even after what has just happened. The worst part is that I can't find the strength to push him away. Why? What power does this man have over me that makes me so vulnerable and helpless? What has he done to me? How should I handle or even respond to his barely concealed advances? And most importantly, do I really want to? Because that's the real question here.

_ No worries, everything's fine, (I reassure him, not entirely sincere with myself.) He's a possessive guy.

A clarification that subtly amuses my neighbor, who doesn't miss the opportunity to drive the point home.

_ That's an understatement. And yet... I'd have done the same.

A jab, followed by another insinuation that I choose to ignore by rolling my eyes towards the pool tables.

Enzo, amidst his fellow players, is concentrating deeply on the game. He takes the game seriously, requiring precision and skill, and occasionally shoots suspicious looks towards the bar.

Amaury, who also observes him with a dark eye, rekindles the conversation.

_ Do you play?

Uncertain about the intention behind his question—whether it's an invitation to play or simply out of curiosity—I open my eyes wide, holding my breath. But, unable to imagine Amaury being unreasonable enough to provoke Enzo by proposing a game to his girlfriend right in front of him, I quickly regain my composure.

_ Do you mean: do I know how to play?

He nods... I breathe a sigh of relief!

_ Barely I reply intentionally briefly.

Because even though it's clear he's trying to start a conversation between us, I also know that playing along would be unwise. For me, my relationship, for Enzo… No, I must absolutely keep this demonic being at a distance, just like all the emotions he arouses in me. It's a difficult test, intensified with each new approach of this beautiful, unwanted suitor—whether it's the warmth of his breath on the nape of my neck or the enchanting scent that emanates from him every time he leans in close to me, shattering the invisible barriers I'm trying to erect.

In other circumstances, or in another life, I probably wouldn’t have hesitated for a second to engage in conversation with him, but not here, and not tonight. There's Enzo, the others, and above all, this curious attraction between us. An attraction that is both unfamiliar and familiar, intensified by the attitude of this troublemaker. Because I can feel that Amaury knows exactly what he's doing, just as he is aware of the effect he has on me. And the most unsettling part is that, in addition to not hiding it, it seems like he’s insisting! Why?

I meditate.

And what if, in the end, it was all just a product of my imagination? What if this man isn't actually trying to seduce me, but simply being friendly in anticipation of our upcoming collaboration? A healthy and logical intention, after all. Especially since he's not one of those jerks you often come across in places like this. Moreover, it would be pretty outrageous to flirt with a woman right under her boyfriend's nose. And, he is Michel's nephew, isn't he? A respectable man from a respectable background...

_ Have you been working with my uncle for a long time?

This question, after my last thought, leaves me perplexed... Is he not only trying to bewitch me, but also reading my thoughts?!

_ Almost four years, I reply, still deliberately holding back.

A distance that, unfortunately and as expected, ends up exasperating Amaury, who this time speaks to me with a frustrated expression.

_ I'm sorry to be direct, but... do you want me to leave? I feel like I'm bothering you, and it's clear that you're not enjoying my company, am I right?

Realizing, with a heavy heart, that I’ve deliberately led him to these conclusions, I hesitate before responding.

Uncomfortably, I face his delicious eyes. The ones that now look at me strangely, filled with disappointment, resignation, and also anger or powerlessness. I'm not really sure, except for the fact that I don't want to hurt him.

And honestly, what can I possibly say to him? That his presence disturbs my heart in a way that's both sweet and frightening! That the warmth of his voice flows through me like the vital fluid that runs through my veins? Or that his fragrance, his look, and his presence exert on my senses an attraction similar to the magnetic field of a magnet? Of course not! Should I lie to him then? I’m suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion!

Hesitantly, my eyes still uncertain, I finally speak.

_ It's just that... sorry Amaury, it's not your fault. It's been a long day and I...

The lost look I cast towards the billiards doesn't escape the man who quickly puts an end to my embarrassment.

_ I'm not sure I understand, but you seem troubled,( he continues, staring at me intently, forcing me to lower my eyes.) So, at the risk of becoming annoying, or making you more uncomfortable than you already are, I won't insist and will leave you alone.

Unable to respond, I observe him drink his second cocktail, and place a bill on the counter without his dark eyes leaving me.

Finally, before turning on his heels, he whispers a last sentence to me in a provocative tone.

_ Have a nice evening, Young lady, and... say hello to your friend for me.

His comment, heavy with meaning, doesn't leave me indifferent. Could he be annoyed that I'm not available? Maybe even jealous? No, even if it's obvious, it doesn't make sense! We don't even know each other! But then, what is he playing at? Is he trying to send me a message? Which one? So many questions I don't have time to ask him, since Amaury, followed by Enzo's dark look, heads towards the exit. This sudden reality feels like a painful stab in my gut, and I struggle to understand the reason. Indeed, how could this man have become so important to me in just one day? Like his hurried departure that, obviously, shouldn’t affect me. Yet, that's far from the truth. His presence, as well as his absence, triggers something powerful and irrational within me. And like a wildfire, the blaze spreads by radiation, gradually affecting every part of my body, my soul, and my heart at an uncontrollable speed. A heart in pieces that screams at me to catch up with him... To join him and cry out that he's wrong. That I appreciate him, but I'm not allowed to. And that's the whole problem. I have to resist, refuse to listen to this irrational organ, and fight firmly against temptation. To ignore him, and all the emotions he awakens in me, to bury them forever, here and now, because I know, I feel it, if I don't do it, I won't find the strength to fight anymore... And the first way to achieve this would be, in fact, to distract my mind.

Determined, I grab my glass, empty it in one gulp while scanning the room to see where my friends are: Laura, Maxou, Antoine, Karl and Joyce, and see the small group at our usual table.

Before joining them, I take a deep breath to give myself courage and dive into the crowd with a determined step. But as soon as I arrive, feeling all eyes on me, as if pursued by the echo of a new guilt, I start to doubt. Not surprising in the end, because even with Enzo's blessing, the feeling of having transgressed the fundamental rules of our relationship, such as trust for example, persists. A lingering emotion that brings with it a host of malicious questions: what if my friends had guessed? What if, haunted by questions, they started to judge me?...

But first, my reason reassures me, since when would they have become that kind of person or possess the gift of mentalism? It's true, because apart from the fact that I don't care about other people's judgments, and considering that I'm the only one who knows the true extent of my troubles, we're talking about my friends here. Good-hearted people who will never be about negative criticism. A false peace of mind that is enough to calm me down, when after greeting them one by one with a check, I sit next to my friend Laura, nonchalantly.

The conversations start again. Across from me, Maxou, the nerd of the group, with his small round glasses, working in finance and undoubtedly destined for a bright future, chats with Antoine sitting to his right, a smooth-talking salesman who could sell headphones to a deaf person, and as usual always showing off. He's to the left of Karl, a good-looking but somewhat dim guy who dropped out of school in high school. Life isn't easy for him. With no diploma in hand, he bounces between small, often ungrateful jobs and drinks quite a bit of alcohol. Facing the boys is Joyce, Maxou's girlfriend. She's a British girl who just arrived in France. She works as a nursery nurse at the Saintes-Dames elementary school.

Barely two minutes after I've settled in, Laura's prying eyes, my long-time friend, sitting between the British girl and me, pivots in my direction.

_ Who was the good-looking guy with you at the bar?

_ What?! You're not serious! I retort, staring back at her with a fake irritated air.

_ Well what? Everyone saw you, Rosa... Come on, who was it?

Faced with her pleading eyes, I raise mine to the ceiling and eventually give in.

_ Amaury Sander, Michel's nephew.

_ Well I'll be damned! Quite a cutie, (Laura exclaims.) If he needs a distraction, I'm available!

_ Laura... You can be shocking at times! (I scolded, furrowing my brows.) He's my boss's nephew. Plus, he's just passing through here, and probably has a girlfriend, if you want my opinion.

I struggle to hide my rather inappropriate and disproportionate annoyance, a reaction that I immediately regret. First, because I am not suppose to feel anything about Amaury, theoretically at least, and secondly because Laura is a big growing girl, free to be interested in whoever she wants, unlike me. Unless, ultimately, the idea of Laura flirting with the source of my mental turmoil bothers me... A behavior that, of course, doesn't escape her sharp eye.

_ Hey, you're not telling me everything, she teases me with a friendly shove.

I push her back in the same way, but with an expression filled with exasperation.

_ Ah-ha! (Laura exclaims, now seeing right through me.) Tell me... Did the cute guy perhaps turn your brain upside down by any chance?

You really can't hide anything from her!

I sigh without adding anything. I don't want to discuss it. Not here, not now. I'm not ready. Besides, everything is still too fresh and there's no proof that this isn't just a temporary disturbance that will sort itself out. And as they say, the night brings clarity. In other words, it's sometimes necessary to take a step back from events. This wisdom, tonight, makes perfect sense and I fully intend to put it into practice. After all, I'm sure of nothing. Neither of what I feel, nor of what I want to feel, and even less of the real motivations of my troublemaker. Prudent and reflective, I am somewhat wary and the kind of person who listens to reason before the heart. This approach may leave little room for spontaneity, granted, but it also considerably limits failures. The kind of accidents of life that waste time and a multitude of other things... So, rather than ignoring the signals sent by this captor of my heart, having had my fair share of suffering in the past, I prefer to muzzle and silence it, even if I admit that, for once, the test is proving difficult...

Determined to forget my inner turmoil for tonight and to distract myself, it's clear, I stand up and, as at the beginning of the evening, invite Laura to follow me.

"Want to dance with me?"

"Okay! But one day you'll have to explain."

One day, but not today!

I send her an over-the-top smile, because even if I know she's not fooled, I also know she's extremely patient.