Memories Never Dies

Épisode 8

Chapter 7



Finally, March 18th!

As usual, neither Luna nor I work on Mondays. We usually take advantage of our day off to do some cleaning, laundry, and accompany Nonna on her grocery shopping trip to the supermarket at the edge of the village.

But today, our grandmother is absent. She's helping the community association, of which she has been president for many years, with the final preparations for the big spring festival taking place this Wednesday.

Rising at dawn, I leave a note for Enzo before departing his apartment and returning to the Glycines, appearing to have forgotten my nighttime visions.

As I draw near the house, headphones in my ears, I perceive another song amidst my playlist melodies. Hastily, I reduce the volume and listen intently, questioning if I'm hallucinating when I realize...

The song "Under Pressure" by Queen, reverberating at full blast, is coming from our home! Even worse, the volume is so loud that it seems like a party is underway.

Exasperated, I push open the wooden porch door and dash inside the building. The floor and walls of the old dwelling quiver literally beneath the bass resonance as I traverse the hallway and stumble upon my sister vacuuming in the living room.

The young woman, passionately singing the lyrics of her favorite band, startles when I call out to her.

_ Are you deaf, Miss Mercury? (I shout, grabbing the remote to lower the speaker volume.) They can hear you across town!

_ Gosh, you scared me! (Luna exclaims, clutching her heart.) Weren't you supposed to be at Enzo's?

Flabbergasted by my so-called "older" sister's exasperating behavior, and without bothering to respond, I roll my eyes and head to the kitchen to quench my thirst.

While Nonna may be away, it doesn't justify making a lot of noise. Luna tends to be rather inconsiderate, has a strong liking for noise, and a bad habit of acting as if she lives alone, all of which makes me extremely frustrated. However, engaging in an argument with her is out of the question! Beyond these minor, temporary annoyances, this pretty blonde with her youthful face brings an easygoing nature to our home. A spontaneity and vibrancy that I lack due to my strict rules. As with my work, and that of others, for instance, in my behavior (and that of others), my appearance...everything must be thought out, flawless (except for my bedroom, mind you!), and respectful of rules or other people. But what's even more delightful about Luna is her ability to never be upset or angry. Like just now, where at a lower volume, she continues her household chores without batting an eye, and of course, because it's less amusing, she adds a touch of theatrics!

Everything is well organized in the small house where each of us three has well-defined tasks. Luna handles cleaning the floors, vacuuming, and mopping. I take care of the laundry... washing, drying, folding, and ironing. Nonna, on the other hand, prepares all the meals in addition to household tasks that aren't assigned. But today, with our grandmother unable to cook, it's up to me to step in, knowing that my older sister, who is horrified at the mere sight of a saucepan, won't be volunteering.

So, I have free rein...

First of all, I busy myself with baking muffins that I'll take to the agency this afternoon. Making amends with Amaury for my distant attitude last week is my top priority. Then, right after my shower and while the cakes are in the oven, I embark on cooking authentic Carbonara pasta for my sister and me. Eggs, Guanciale, and Pecorino, nothing less!

Literally lost in the labyrinth of our smartphones' social networks, we hardly exchange a word during the meal. And yet, between Luna, who's been navigating an emotional desert since her separation, and me, who can't utter a word about my situation, the choice of conversation topics, beyond trivial chitchat, is limited.

After finishing the dishes, each of us returns to our own tasks.

For Luna, it's time to go grocery shopping and restock our little family's pantry. As for me, something else awaits...

Always prepared, organized, and leaving no room for improvisation, I quickly depart the house for my appointment with Amaury, arms laden with files, my laptop, and the muffins baked earlier. It's an interview that I've meticulously planned, down to the last detail.

First of all, ensuring the agency's reputation and image is fundamental. Therefore, just as I would for any of my clients, nothing has been left to chance. From the reception to the project presentation, right down to my clothing, everything has been meticulously calculated.

And Than, intentionally, for my unique client this time, mentally. Maintaining composure in his presence is essential for my survival. Otherwise, how could I sustain a professional relationship if I cannot withstand the disquieting and unvoiced attraction that arises in his company? It’s an uneasy and unfamiliar situation that nonetheless poses some practical difficulties. Restraining emotions of such strength is not simple. However, with resolve, some verbal maneuvering, regulated breathing, and a serene disposition, I am confident I can manage anything.

Feeling serene and almost self-assured, I arrive on the battlefield, ready to face the situation.

Typically closed on Mondays, the premises are deserted and quiet. As I'm a bit early, I take advantage of the time to heat water for tea and carry my belongings upstairs, meticulously placing them near the window to maintain my composure throughout the interview (a well-known technique among recruiters). With my laptop switched on, I begin tidying up the surrounding area where my colleagues have piled up their files when the doorbell rings!

_ Just a minute, I'll be right there!

I rush down the stairs and immediately recognize Amaury at the entrance. He has pressed his hands against the glass and is peering inside. Despite having practiced this scenario in my mind countless times since our previous meeting, I had nearly forgotten the powerful surge of emotions that takes hold when he's near. Overcome by a quick yet intense moment of panic, I find my legs weakening. But I must swiftly regain control or risk ruining everything! Relying on my training, I take a deep breath to gather strength and silently repeat, "Everything will be alright." As I approach the door, Amaury, who had been leaning in, steps back and grabs his briefcase from the doorstep.

As naturally as I can, I offer a charming smile and open the door, holding it for Amaury as he enters.

_ Hello, Amaury! Come in.

The man passes by me, regarding me with an amused look, and in a split second, manages to unravel all my hard work at maintaining self-control.

_ Hello, young lady!

Averting my gaze to the doorknob, I close it behind him and continue, disregarding the sarcasm in his voice.

_ Did you have a pleasant journey?

_ Yes, thank you! (he responds, surveying the surroundings.) Are you alone here?

_ Yes, we're closed on Mondays. But for this type of meeting, I personally prefer... no phones, clients, or Michel to interrupt us.

_ Clever, I must admit... We won't be disturbed then.

The smile he directs at me, along with his last remark, heightens my discomfort. However, determined not to let anything show, I maintain a relatively confident voice.

_ Would you like some tea, Amaury?

_ With pleasure!

_ Wonderful! I'll prepare it for us. In the meantime, feel free to head upstairs—we'll be more comfortable in the meeting room. I'll join you in a minute.

As he ascends to the meeting room, the realization of our impending one-on-one conversation begins to sink in. My hands grow clammy, and my heartbeat quickens alarmingly. "Alone with him," I think, the words cycling through my mind. Ridiculous! Not at all professional, childish, immature...

STOP! I must regain control immediately!

Breathing slowly and deeply from my stomach, I exhale several times in succession. After a few minutes, I ascend the stairs, carrying the muffins baked earlier and two teas on a tray.

_ Well, well! (the man bows upon seeing the light refreshments.) What have I done to deserve such honors?

_ Oh, it's nothing, I admit, attempting to hide the flush creeping onto my cheeks.

As a true gentleman, he clears some space at the center of the table, where I place the tray before sitting down. In an effort to regain control of the situation, I quickly grab the projector remote and get started.

_ Are you ready? I'll begin.

Amaury relaxes into his seat, motioning for me to carry on.

Besides helping me avoid direct eye contact with Amaury's captivating face, the presentation serves as a practical visual aid. As we go through each aspect, my client can see the project's results simultaneously on the screen. I review the proposals from my service providers, presenting invitation samples, menu designs, and the various objects that will contribute to the overall ambiance...

Every time Amaury raises an objection, I diligently note it in my notebook before resuming the presentation. I continuously force myself to stay focused on the task, carefully avoiding eye contact with him.

A little while later, he abruptly breaks the studious atmosphere with a sound of pleasure.

_ Mmm... These are incredible!

Initially startled, I turn towards him and smile, feeling flattered as I watch him savoring one of my muffins, eyes closed.

_ I'm glad you enjoy them.

Opening his eyes, which leave me unmoved, he fixes his look on me.

_ Did you make them?

_ M-hm... this morning. Let's say it's my way of making peace. I admit, my nose wrinkling in apology.

_ Really? Consider it done, then!

Faced with his irresistible smile, I feel my cheeks flush with discomfort and pretend to review my notes. However, disregarding the clear message I'm trying to convey—that I'd prefer to avoid the impending conversation—Amaury persists.

_ Especially since you've hit the nail on the head, young lady.

Confused, I raise my nose.

_ Mmm!?

_ Yes... Chocolate is undoubtedly my second reason for existence.

This revelation piques my curiosity about his primary reason, but I must not get sidetracked. Entering such a conversation would be risky, at the very least.

_ I wouldn't go so far as to consider it vital, but I do grant it an important place. (I respond, attempting to avoid the topic.)

_ Perfect! That gives us something in common, don't you think? Quite a good start, wouldn't you say?

Under his intent observation, I offer a shy smile and quickly refocus on my presentation, striving to regain control of the situation.

_ To return to the matter at hand,( I say, pressing a button on the remote,) concerning the table layout, I suggest we organize them as shown here (a virtual reception hall materializes on the screen). As you can see, each table is planned to accommodate eight guests. This is typically the approach we take for events of this nature... Your thoughts?

Awaiting approval that doesn't come, I turn again towards the man, who—caught admiring me—hurriedly shifts his focus to the PowerPoint presentation.

_ Yes, yes, it's flawless... That works for me.

Keeping my composure, I proceed as if nothing had occurred...

_ The guest seating has been arranged according to your instructions. I'll provide you with the details at the end of our meeting.

_ Agreed.

_ I also need to visit the event hall to get a sense of the space and evaluate other options.

_ Yes, and on that topic... (Amaury straightens up and grabs his phone.) I'll be staying in town for a few days and wanted to suggest we meet at the estate on Friday afternoon. Would that work for you?

_ Friday?

Burying my nose in my planner—not only to check my schedule but also to conceal my discomposure at the revelation that he will be staying in the area for a few days—I'm caught off guard by this unexpected detail, which has a bombshell effect. How will I handle this unforeseen development? Will I be obligated to see him again before Friday? But I'm getting sidetracked... Amaury's throat clearing reminds me of the matter at hand.

Confused, I raise my gaze to meet his. He awaits my response...

_ Um... Friday... (I immediately collect myself, refocusing on my screen.) Yes, I'm available! What time would you like me to meet you there?

Our eyes momentarily lock—mine are fleeting, while his are intent—until he shifts to check his own schedule, granting me the chance to breathe again; I hadn't noticed I was holding my breath.

_ How about... 2 p.m.? Does that work for you?

_ M-hm... That's perfect for me!

_ I'll send you the address via message—you'll see, it's easy to find.

I respond with a smile and quickly write down the appointment in my planner. Then, without missing a beat, I continu the meeting.

At 5 p.m., the meeting ends without a hitch. In conclusion, I present Amaury with his printed dossier—an elegant, bound brochure. I explain that it includes the key points we covered, along with the items awaiting his confirmation. As our discussion concludes, he starts packing his belongings into his briefcase.

All things considered, aside from a few uncontrollable palpitations at the beginning of the meeting, I conclude that I handled myself quite well. In fact, I'm feeling a profound lightness, despite my better judgment telling me that prolonging this moment is unwise.

_ I believe you mentioned you'll be staying in the area for a few days?

Amaury pauses, his dark eyes locking onto mine. This time, rather than feeling awkward, I experience an instinctive desire not to break our connection, especially when he smiles divinely and responds:

_ Michel convinced me to attend the Spring Festival... It's happening this Wednesday, isn't it?

_ That's correct!

_ According to my uncle, it's a well-known event in the region.

_ Yes, it does draw quite a crowd to the town.

_ I heard the agency is involved too?

_ Indeed, along with all the local businesses and many residents. It's an event that requires a lot of planning and every helping hand is appreciated.

_ You're also lending a hand?

_ In a way, through Michel, but also because my grandmother has been on the committee for years.

_ Oh... Your grandmother! That's very admirable.

_ Let's just say that with her profession, it was hard to leave the committee .

To steer the conversation away from personal matters, I begin clearing the remnants of our meal from the center of the table.

_ And she was?

I shoot him a hesitant look without pausing in my tidying

_ Teacher.

Amaury responds with a respectful pout...

_ Then please extend my gratitude to her.

I pause, puzzled by his request, and study him closely.

_ Why do you say that?

He flashes a radiant smile, seemingly pleased with his words.

_ Because she must be the reason you're such a beautiful person.

It's as if the protective barrier around my heart crumbles in an instant, leaving it defenseless. For a moment, I find it hard to breathe. Amaury's words, along with the piercing look in his eyes and the inviting tone of his voice, dismantle my defenses, revealing a side of me I never knew existed. A secret chamber within my heart is exposed—a place where my survival instincts had locked away a potent emotion, far beyond my conscious reach. That's what I'm telling myself, I rationalize. Yes, because I know exactly where this type of vulnerability often leads. My mother before me, Nonna, and now my sister have all suffered the consequences. Opening up to such burning emotions also means enduring the pain of their loss when life rips them away. And that's not even considering the dizzying, uncontrollable state that can shatter rocks—it leaves me dangerously exposed. Despite Amaury appearing well-intentioned, I can't afford to be weak. Perhaps that's why my current relationship suits me perfectly—no risk, no madness, no suffering.

I'm uncertain about everything, but for now, even if my heart craves adventure, I must also listen to my reason. That small voice urging me to be cautious. My response reflects this measured approach—neither too rushed nor too committed, but seemingly detached.

_ You're probably right,( I say, finishing up my innocuous cleaning of the table center.) After all, she raised me.

Though Amaury may be strange and enigmatic, he's certainly not naive. And as if to appear less intrusive or to clear his conscience, he quickly apologizes.

_ Sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

I know he doesn't mean it, just like I'm aware that I'm not being completely honest with him. After all, I didn't have to share such personal details about my life. Even worse, as I head to the stairs with my tray to end our conversation, I give him additional information.

_ It's no problem. My sister and I have lived with our grandmother since childhood, so naturally, it leaves a mark.

Downstairs, I unload the items from my arms onto the bar, while Amaury places his belongings on the floor, seemingly in no hurry to leave.

_ From what I've seen, the town looks really pretty and peaceful, doesn't it? he asks, gesturing towards the alleyway with his chin.

His unexpected restraint catches me off guard—is it apathy or grace? Regardless, I'm grateful for the respite and return his smile.

_ Indeed. The village boasts a charming blend of nature—forests, seas, and mountains…

_ Perfect for a sports fanatic, like you, isn’t it?

His comment makes me laugh.

_ Fanatic? That's an overstatement. I simply relish the serenity of a quiet morning, far from the chaos. It's more a basic necessity than a passion for exercise, if you see what I mean.

_ I see exactly what you mean, and if i was you, I wouldn't deny myself the pleasure.

My look stop over his athletic body, and a question springs to mind.

_ Do you do any sports, Amaury?

He laughs in turn.

_ Living in a big city requires some adjustments. Not to make excuses, but it's quite difficult for me to do some. I have a tight schedule, you understand,( he says with his beguiling smile still lingering on his lips.) However, I occasionally run, but indoors on a treadmill.

_ When you put it that way, it's not very motivating. If you feel like running in the fresh air during your stay, I'd be delighted to show you around the coast.

He instantly shoots me a skeptical look.

_ I'm flattered by your offer, but... I'm not sure it's a great idea.

I laugh.

_ Pff! Are you afraid you won't be able to keep up ?

_ No, (Amaury objects, suddenly serious.) I was thinking more about your friend... Enzo. I'm sure he'd take it quite badly, don't you think?

Realizing my inadvertent mistake—the image I've unintentionally projected of myself: a forward, amoral woman—I defend myself vehemently.

_ I... you've got it all wrong! I'm not proposing a date, just a jog between colleagues! But if you think it's inappropriate...

_ One-nil to you, Young Lady!( he cuts in, amused by my fiery attitude.) And by the way, remind me never to piss you off!

I would have laughed, but I just roll my eyes to dissipate the awkwardness. Truthfully, on this occasion, my mouth—or my heart,—spoke faster than my reason. Amaury isn't wrong to warn me. Enzo indeed wouldn't be happy to learn I'm getting a bit too close to this Adonis. Moreover, a jog implies spending more time together, and that's not the best way to escape the reality of my feelings, if not the exact opposite. Despite this, I don't feel guilty, even when Amaury proposes a compromise.

_ Well... That's not possible this week, but know that I'll be pleased to accompany you during a future visit. That is, if your offer still stands, of course.

In response, I let out a small affirmative sound from my throat while biting my lip.

After a brief blank in the conversation, Amaury unexpectedly resumes with a new topic.

_ Would you grace me with your presence at Philippe's sixtieth birthday?

Surprised by the request, I study him closely. The event is still months away, and the thought of going pleases me. The concern, however, lies in his conduct as he proposes it. The intensity of his stare, the inflection of his voice, and his entire bearing seem to suggest more than a wish—they convey a longing that only someone infatuated could reveal.

_ You don't need to give me your answer today,( he react to my silence.) But know that...

_ Yes,( I interrupt.) It would be an honor.

Amaury's delight is immediate. His face and irises light up, and when he mimics a faltering heartbeat by placing a hand over his heart, as if struck by a bullet, I'm at a complete loss. Because compared to a jog, attending a social event with the most attractive being on Earth is pure provocation toward Enzo. Honestly, it's crazy! Yet, once again, I have no regrets about my decision and even commend my audacity.

_ To be completely honest, I anticipated rejection and even braced myself for that possibility. But... I must admit that you're entirely unpredictable.

_ You're implying that I'm impulsive,

I laugh.

_ No, I'd say audacious!

_ More like imprudent!

_ There's nothing imprudent about following your heart,

he assures me in a soothing voice.

"Touché!" I think, overcome by a whirlwind of delicious emotions that foretell nothing but trouble.

This is dangerously close to an informal admission, perhaps even crossing a line. However, I choose not to focus on that, opting instead to ride the powerful currents pulsing through me.

Only a few feet apart, our bodies appear suspended in an alternate reality. Although the distance between us is manageable, it feels trivial in the face of the magnetic pull we share. A single gesture from Amaury could be my undoing... Yet, he remains still. Instead, he glances at his watch.

_ I should be going.

_ I... Yes, (I stammer, disappointed yet relieved, yet disappointed...) I'll drive you out.

Relaxed and cheerful, my eyes sparkling, I escort him to the exit. I offer him a final glance and watch him depart through the shop window, my heart full of stars, pleased with the way our meeting has unfolded—even though we undeniably teetered on the brink of disaster. However, that was before considering Amaury's manifest wisdom and respect. Nevertheless, I know I'll need to exhibit greater resilience next time.