17 SIGNS

The 17 Signs

Most people will give their managers the benefit of the doubt at first, but sometimes there's an inner voice telling you that something between you two feels awkward.  Gut instincts aren't whims. They're your subconscious on steroids. It's putting hundreds of facts together, with the ultimate result being an emotion or physical feeling — in this case, of discomfort or irritation. If you're unhappy or angry about the situation, you're right.  And that's something Sophia Godfrey knew too well. 

Carefully observe how the boss treats other colleagues before leaping to any conclusions. They may be a very effusive, gregarious person who simply behaves that way with everyone because they're a people pleaser. And even if your boss flirts with you from time to time, again, consider how they are with other colleagues — they may be a naturally flirtatious person who really means no harm. 

And also consider your own actions. Are they flirting with you simply because you've been a little flirtatious with them? Be very cautious when interpreting someone else's intentions behind their actions. It's normal for bosses to wish their employees a good morning, but if your boss comes over to your desk to check on you throughout the day, it looks like you have an admirer. Again, if they come over to you a lot because you work on a specific project together, that's different. But if they come over just to chat, well, come on, it's clear.

And if you determine that you're the only one they flirt with, and it's not a result of your behavior toward them, then this is a powerful sign they're crushing on you.

If you're occasionally asked to stay beyond normal business hours and have a legitimate joint project to work on, that's one thing. But if you start seeing a pattern of being singled out, and the meetings are always running late —or there are too many unnecessary private meetings — then your boss may try to go beyond a professional scope. 

Most managers have a heavy workload, so when they take the time just to call you randomly without a genuine reason to talk, then it can be a sign that they are thinking about you a bit more than they should be. Check their body language and eye contact. If you catch them stealing glances at you often or sustaining eye contact longer than is comfortable for you, then this could be a sign.

Yes, it could be simply because they respect you and trust your abilities, but if it crosses over into clear favoritism — for example, they offer you opportunities that you know in your heart you don't deserve — then it might be a sign then they like you a little too much.

Lovestruck bosses may give you better projects; more mentoring time than your peers; take you to more lunches; offer you more flexible hours or other perks; be lax about your mistakes, or give you other special treatment. Sounds great? Well, unfortunately, favoritism in the workplace may not only lead to a disgruntled staff — it can result in a hostile work environment claim by other employees and may lead to a court case. 

Does your boss share work and personal confidence with you that you know they wouldn't share with anyone else in your office? Yes, they may be doing this because they trust you, but it may also be because they want to deepen the relationship and sharing confidences is a proven way to do that. Compared to all the other employees, they treat you differently. Of course, they treat you differently; they want to sleep with you. Maybe they promote you even though you're relatively new to the job, or provide you with extras when you don't actually deserve them. You can run with this for a while, but if the other employees see this, they aren't going to be happy.

Maybe your boss told you they left their partner or about a wild weekend at the bar. Either way, this is overstepping the working relationship you share. If your boss talks about their personal life to you, specifically in the area of dating and s*x, well, this is a clear sign they're gauging your reaction.

A boss who has a romantic agenda may intrigue you with a seemingly exaggerated view of your brilliant future at the company. It may be difficult to discern if your manager is just as encouraging with everyone, but when your job outlook seems suspiciously rosy, take a pause ... and consider all the possible signs to get a realistic sense of their motivations.

If they invite you to spend time together outside of work it might just be a simple coffee after work, but if this happens in addition to other signs, then this could be a red flag.

New outfits, new haircuts, and more attention to detail might be because they're hoping to catch someone's eye at work, and it might be yours.

If they value your opinion more than anyone else's, again, this could just be that they value and trust you as an employee — but if they ask you for input on personal issues, such as clothing choices, or even dating issues, then this might be a sign. Asking you for advice on their own love life could be totally innocent, but it might also be a ploy to suss out how you really feel about them.

If compliments are coming your way nonstop but they have nothing to do with work or start to sound inappropriate, then your boss may have more than a friendly affinity for you. While s****l harassment training has exploded over the years, managers can still become lax. So watch for this sign. Compliments about your appearance, fashion sense, or amazing personality are especially strong indicators. Throwaway lines such as, 'Anyone would be lucky to have you,' may be signs they have a crush on you. They get a little too close. Your boss wants to see what you've done, so they lean on your desk, staring at the screen. Now, this happens and it doesn't mean it's s****l. Usually, this is a sign they want to be closer to you. They may touch you, graze your arm, or speak into your ear. The point is, these invade your personal space. If they enter your personal space, it's a solid sign they want more.

If everyone in the company receives a motivational mug on Valentine's Day that says, "We love our employees" embedded in a big red heart, that's wonderful. But it is not so endearing if your flirtatious boss secretly places sweethearts candies on your desk.

If they laugh a little too easily, and a little too long, at your shitty jokes...   Overly effusive laughter can sometimes be a great "crush barometer." You're the funniest person to them. To your boss, you're hilarious. You're more than hilarious, you're literally the funniest person on earth. Nothing you say won't be laughed at, even if it's a lame joke.

Laughter is a huge sign of physical attraction. I mean, unless the joke is truly funny, we rarely laugh with people we find unattractive.

If your boss seems to remember everything you tell them — when they're normally more forgetful — this could be a sign they are paying especially close attention to you. People remember way more details about interactions with someone they have a crush on, partially because they've likely been obsessing about those details, looking for signs that you're interested. Remember last week when you were complaining about your new standing desk making your heels sore? You might not. But when someone else remembers, and sends along to a link for non-fatigue rugs and offers a discount through their office account? They're into you. Personal calls and emails. Now, for some reason, your boss has your personal email and phone number. This part isn't entirely unusual as many employers have their employee's personal information. However, they rarely use it unless it's an emergency.

But, if your boss is quick to send personal emails and call you outside of work unless it's strictly work-related *it probably isn't*, they want to cross over into your personal life.

They treat you like they don't like you. Of course, this could mean they simply don't like you. But if your boss playfully teases or picks on you, it could be their way of flirting ... or a way to hide their admiration.

They share a ton of inside jokes with you. If you're in a fun, high energy office, you're bound to have a few inside jokes with some of your coworkers. However, if your boss only seems to pal around with you, that could be a sign that you're their favorite. In fact, it might even indicate that they like you as more than an employee You have a lot of private meetings. And yet, you're still not sure why you have them. An occasional meeting with your boss is normal, but if he asks you to a private meeting when really there's no need, he's into you.

Depending on how you feel about your boss, these private meetings can be uncomfortable and feel like you're being cornered. Too many private meetings mean they want to see how they can go from professional into personal encounters...

If the seventeen signs are all there, you'll want to be decisive and tread carefully.