Falling for my enemy

The Realization

Ellie Ann’s Point of View

I can’t believe what Payton did kissing me like that the fucker was lucky I didn’t kick his ass or f*****g shoot him with my damn gun. The suspension was a long annoying drag but I don’t want to go back to school and see that fucker again. I promised my dad that I would graduate for him and I will for him and only him. I will graduate with honors and be at the top of my class to make him proud of me even though I think he was or is proud of me. He was the only one who understood me in many ways than one he understood my anxiety, depression and everything that I dealt with. My mom, on the other hand, was different she thought I was just a damn nut case which is why she put me on so many f*****g medications that I didn’t have any feeling so I couldn’t bother her when she was f*****g cheating on my dad and sleeping with so many horrible men. I remember one of them he had come in my room and he forced me to be with him I wanted to kill myself at that moment my mom thought I was just wanting attention but she was wrong I was broken because of the s**t she had put me through. My dad dying her abusing me mentally and physically she was a f*****g horrible person.

Having Payton in my life for those two days he made me forget everything that I had gone through even though I hate his guts he helped me. I was scared of falling for him because I knew it was risky. I can't give myself to someone again, especially someone who can hurt me as he can. I knew I was slowly growing feelings for him. I can’t risk letting someone else in my heart know that Jackson was a safe bet on a husband or a future father of our children but I don't want safe anymore I want passion and desire. I knew that was Payton, he was everything that I have always wanted. He was the one who would always annoy me when I was upset and I never knew how he knew when I wasn’t ok he was amazing and I wanted him. I needed him in my life. I just had to find a way to get him and have him know that I wasn’t going to be the same person these last few days because I was high and being a b***h because I was mourning my relationship with Jackson and he needed to know that he would have to fight for me and whatever we would be.

I said f**k it I drove to his house and knocked on the door not knowing if I would get him or not but I needed to talk to him right now. He opened the door surprised to see me. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just a pair of boxers. God, how was I going to focus? He was ripped with a perfect v-line that would make a girl drool over him. He started to work out when we were in middle school and by the time we were in high school he had a damn six-pack.

“El what the f**k do you want or did you come to tell me how I shouldn’t have kissed you or slept at your house or some bull s**t like that.” He looked pissed at me for what happened last week and I could tell he felt completely defeated

“I wanted to talk about the kiss and what the hell I am feeling right now because I don’t know what the f**k it is and I need you right now.”

“Fine let's talk in my room because my uncle is in the living room with one of his ‘girlfriends and I don’t want that prick to hit on you or try to sleep with you.” I was shocked at what he had said but everyone knew about his uncle he was even worse than Payton with women. He has even apparently got a teenage girl pregnant and left her alone with the baby or killed them. We have all heard both stories. We walked into his bedroom which was neat with a few pieces of furniture with pictures of him and his parents with a few trophies.

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“I am sorry for the way I have treated you I have been a real f*****g b***h to you and I don’t know why I am like this right now. It's just when you kissed me I couldn’t understand why I was feeling the way I was because you're not something that I need in my life or have ever wanted. But I have not got you out of my mind for the last few weeks and I want to understand what I am feeling for you but I am scared because of who you are.” He looked shocked like he couldn’t process what I had said. Before I knew it he had kissed me with the same passion he had kissed me with before and I quickly kissed him back with the same passion and need. I knew this kiss would lead to other things and I knew I wasn’t ready yet for that yet. We finally came up for air and I looked in his beautiful blue eyes and his million-dollar smile he was f*****g handsome.

“I want us to try to be something but I want to take things slow with us. At first, I know you're not used to that but I need it.”

“God, you're so damn cute I can wait as long as you need me too. I have waited this long to have you as mine and be able to hold you in my arms. Do you want to stay here since it’s really late and I don’t want you to drive home at this time at night.”

“Yes, but I have nothing to wear besides the clothes I am wearing but I am not going to sleep in them.” He gets up and goes to his drawer and pulls out a simple white t-shirt and black basketball shorts. He tosses them at me. “Here you can wear this and I can put your clothes in the washer so you have something to wear before going back to yours in the morning.”

“Ok, I am going to change in the bathroom.”

“Babe you can change here it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” God, I love the sound of him calling me I want me to call me his forever. What is this man doing to me? I haven’t even been this way with Jackson ever so you know what I mean I don’t really want to say it yet because I don’t want to risk myself getting hurt by him.

“And have you perving over me No thanks, babe.” I walk to the bathroom but I feel him grabbing me by the arm and spinning me around and kissing me. This kiss was different than the rest of our kisses. It was a long loving kiss telling me he didn’t want to let me go. He always makes me weak in the knees every time he kisses me or touches me lightly.

The next morning

“Can you let me change already babe.” he kept kissing me, not wanting me to leave. He pinned me on his bed tickling me and kissing my neck. God, he is driving me crazy. It made me not want to leave but since my Aunt Carrie was back I needed to be home before she freaked out.

“Ok babe you're going to get me in trouble if I don't get ready and leave.” he looks at me with a confused look on his face.

“You would get in trouble for not being home when she is home but not for smoking or doing drugs.” I roll on top of him sitting on him looking at his beautiful eyes.

“Yes, she is chill but I still need to be there because she has been gone for over a month now and she will murder me if I am late.” I get up and run to the bathroom to quickly change and brush my teeth. He got up early to get me a damn toothbrush and other essentials. God, I love this man. Holy s**t I love him, my god, I am in serious trouble