My Missing Girl

43. Problematic

Hannah still didn't accept what Adam told her, she still felt strange. Because when someone has decided to establish a new relationship with the girl or man who has been chosen as his new partner. So why argue if he still loves people in his past. According to Hannah, it does not make sense, if only he still loves his old lover, then why in spreading new love? Isn't that unfair to his new love?

Like used goods, initially, it was thrown away and left because the owner did not need to use it. But when the person who has thrown away the used goods still feels the need for sure the item will be picked up again even though he has a new item. Because the person thinks that the new goods he has have not met his needs while the used goods that have been thrown away are still lingering and still worth reusing.

Is Hannah like that in Alex's eyes? Where Hannah is his new item that must look very interesting if viewed for a moment. But will it lose its appeal when Alex feels discomfort towards her? Or could Alex be bored with her? Wouldn't that have happened. Hannah and Alex have only been around for a few months so it could have happened. Because the name of the human must be bored at something that has lost its appeal according to the person. Including Alex who can get bored with Hannah, anywhere and anytime.

Honestly, Hannah went crazy thinking about all this. Moreover, based on Alex's story to him the man had kept his affection for Liliana for a dozen years, it could be said that love was almost eternal. If calculated from Alex's age, the man had already loved Liliana for almost half his life. That means Alex's love for Liliana is deep. Not worth the time Alex spent with Hannah just a moment, with the corn age that was ready to harvest only younger Hannah and Alex's relationship.

Hannah thought she was just a temporary close friend of Alex.

"If it's like this I can go crazy," Hannah groaned in frustration. So upset she was with herself Hannah was willing to grab her hair.

Hannah bites her fingernails, Hannah's habit when agitated, and has not found a bright spot of trouble.

Hannah curled up alone in her room, she didn't want to be disturbed because it took her own time to calm her heart that was not directed in the slur of jealousy.

James, who had entered the clock to check on Hannah's condition, entered Hannah's room. Seeing Hannah's state like that makes James worried because he does not want Hannah's situation to get worse if many thoughts.

"James? You're coming?" James smiled discordantly when he heard Hannah's strange words, a question he needed to ask.

"It's time for Hannah's visit, I'll see you," James replied in his subtle voice.

"Wasn't I already mighty?" Hannah asked because she was confused. So upset Hannah, the woman was blind with time.

"It was this afternoon, now it's the time to check in the afternoon, Hannah," James explained, because it was true that he had already met Hannah, but it was during the day. Around one o'clock in the afternoon visit and check for daylight. And now it's the afternoon.

"Waw fast time passed," Hannah marveled at the passage of time today.

James rubbed Hannah's head affectionately, "What are you thinking? Don't remember a time like that?" James asks the question, James, also while examining Hannah, starting from Hannah's temperature and blood pressure, making sure the girl is quite well.

"I fought with Alex," Hannah replied honestly, James already knew his relationship with Alex so there was nothing to hide.

"Why?"

"There's a little problem,"

James exhaled, "If it was just a childhood, but why do you look so moody?"

Hannah drenched her shoulder, "I don't know either, but it hurts a lot."

James exhaled again, "Want you to tell me?"

"I can, as long as you're not busy. You see, I also need a confidant because Adam can't make a backrest, that guy is so annoying. When I asked for advice on how to deal with a wounded heart, but he answered it rationally and logically, it didn't make sense in my opinion." Hannah complained - her heart was already burning.

"It looks like you're depressed, I have one more patient scheduled, after which I'm free, so I'll come straight here later."

"Okay, I'll wait."

It wasn't until twenty minutes that James returned to Hannah's room, about five minutes James was just observing Hannah thinking. Maybe the girl was thinking about how to start this very important story. Hannah needs more time.

"May I start now?" after a while Hannah opened her conversation.

"Whenever I'm ready,"

And...

Hannah also conveyed all her complaints to James about how she felt. How she feels and conditions. Some days Hannah has been dealing with her heart problems. She spread all her heart outpourings to those closest to her to get the best solution. Hannah is a typical human being who can't keep her problems. She needs someone who can listen, Hannah can't if she keeps the problem that's causing the injury to herself. Hannah can't bear the pain without sharing, not sharing the grief. Instead, share the story so that someone gives Hannah advice. Sometimes Hannah can be superhumanly selfish when her desires are not fulfilled. Because what she wants has to be there and she has to get it.

Like the case of love for Alex, if he has chosen Alex to be his lover, then the other girl does not have it. Hannah doesn't like to share.

"Do you know about Liliana?" Hannah nodded, "Of course, Alex told me. He said that Liliana was his first love."

"And you're hurt for that reason?" Hannah nodded again.

James nodded his head, he understood how Hannah was feeling. Although he was a man he was also able to understand a woman's heart. Especially about Hannah, James was already out of his head.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Well, Alex."

Hannah rounded her eyes perfectly, "You mean?"

"Makeup with Alex, Hannah. That's the best way, you have to be honest and open to each other. Alex has dared to open the wounds of his heart for you. So you have to accept and forgive. Because Alex did all that for you."

Hannah rolled her eyes, slightly disapproving of Alex's statement although in her heart was a little moved and agreed with what James said.

"On what basis did you say that?" Hannah is still asking questions that she thinks are important to ask.

"I've been a friend of Alex's for a long time, I know Alex better than myself. Including Alex's love story, I know it all. He was in great distress at that time, he had no spirit of life when bad things happened to Liliana. Alex is willing to leave his life of luxury just because he doesn't want to remember the past."

"His past hurts too much, even if I'm in Alex's shoes I've given up on my life. Because I don't think it's as strong as that guy."

"Can you just imagine, Hannah? When you trust someone who many people already believe in if the person you think is alive but is considered someone else is dead. You believe the person you love is still alive with just Trust in heart  'my heart says she's alive.' Are you going to be able to live like that for a dozen years? Haven't determined yet? And Alex goes through it all, almost eleven years on he believes Liliana is alive and trying to find her with any show. Alex was like a madman, looking for the dead who were considered alive."

"Alex was more excited to search when one of his acquaintances told me that Liliana was alive and living in the city. Alex did it all without getting tired. But slowly he let go of Liliana a little bit when he got to know you, Hannah."

"Hannah listen to me..." James held Hannah's hand tightly, the girl was already as upset as she heard James's explanation.

"Do you think Alex didn't think about this — Alex expressed feelings for Hannah, he thought about this a thousand times. When he wants to make sure of his feelings. It wasn't easy for him, but when Alex had already decided he wouldn't give up on Hannah's decision. The man is very gentle when it comes to feelings towards women. So you have to be able to accept."

Hannah's tears grew louder, and her breathing was heavy because of her broken tears. Everything James said was true. Hannah never thought about getting there, because she only thought about herself.

James was a little relieved when he was able to calm Hannah down a little. The girl if many thoughts that must be noticeable once because the girl can't hide her feelings.

James hugged Hannah tightly, she channeled the warmth of her embrace for Hannah. From the outside, James smiles warmly to keep Hannah calm, but inside her heart, James is so crushed, he can't help but hurt when the loving girl loves others more than herself.

Wounds are implied in the scars, we as humans cannot avoid the name of the wound. But injuries can also make us learn to accept the situation and then rise from the wound.

From wounds we learn as much as you feel, how much happiness will greet you? God never betrayed his obedient servants. Especially when the servant receives the wound sincerely and accepts it without blaming the exact circumstances of the servant can certainly get happy from God.

Wounds never betray, because wounds are only adjectives that humans use as personal protective equipment when he does not want to admit his mistakes and prefers to label himself as being hurt. But the wound is not that bad.

If only wounds could talk, he would complain to humans because he always blames him when humans are down. It should be that as human beings we should be friends with wounds, by making news or the cause of the wound perched on humans, such as 'what makes you like this?' or could it be, 'are you all ready unable to make this heart hurt?' may also be with, 'if indeed you do not want to hurt yourself, can we be together and improve? So we can be friends. Even though I am side by side with the wound I will remain happy because I believe it exists for reasons I once did, and it will heal if it accepts it sincerely."

Wounds never hurt, wounds just want us (humans) to be able to distinguish what is good or bad for us. We as human beings always strive for the best for ourselves. Don't always feel hurt because 'I'm hurt'

Whether the wound in the mean is a wound in the heart, on the body, or in the mind. Wherever the wound is still we should be grateful for the pain. Because with the wounds of life we are more colorful because we are happy from the results of the struggle.