Broken Promises

Chapter 2

I woke up, completely covered in cold sweat. I’ve been dreaming about that night for the past year and it still haunts me every time. It’s hard to let go of something when you get constantly reminded, even more if you have no memory of what happened after.

Being alone does that though, it gives you the time to think and rethink, almost making you drown in it all over again.

Like I said, I prefer the solitude but I’m not going to get my life back this way. As I kept repeating that in my head, I looked to the side to see how late it was.

5:17

Surprised that I for once made it past 3am, I turned back and laid on my back, staring at the ceiling.

I really don’t feel ready to go back to school but I have to do this. The longer I wait, the harder I’ll get to get out of this circle.

Sighing once, I pushed the covers back and pushed myself up. I have to do this. I have to…

I slowly got out of the bed and let my feet touch the cold wood of the floor. Let’s do this.

After a cold shower and throwing on some random clothing I had found myself on the porch, watching as the sun slowly came out of it’s slumber. I’ve come quite accustomed with doing this, waking up early and watching as the rest of the world around me slowly wakes up to start their day but it’s like I never do. Like I’m just stuck in a glass box where time stands still.

At least this is a better sight than at the hospital. That’s positive, right?

The sound of the door softly opening made me look back to see my grandfather, a soft smile on his lips “You want to have some breakfast?”

Did I want to? No, but as I learned, not eating isn’t a solution.

“Sure, I’ll be right in” he gave me a nod as the door closed back behind him and a loud sigh came from me. They lost their child as well, I should try not to make this any harder than it already is.

I walked back into the house and sat myself down with a plate that was filled with all sorts of things. I remember how I used to love grandma’s cooking when I was younger.

“Honey?” her voice made me look up as her lips were pressed in a thin smile “If you’re not ready for this, I need you to tell us”

The emotion in her voice made my heart clench but I quickly pushed it away, putting on a brave face “It’s alright, I can’t put my life on pause forever”

And it was true, this wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. What my parents wanted for me…

A lone tear escaped her eyes as her smile turned bigger this time.

“I’m proud of you, Catherine” her and granddad kept repeating those words until the car finally stopped in front of the school. I’m really not ready for this.

My breathing went quickly but I had to keep repeating the words in my head. You have to.

“We asked if you could have as many classes with Luke as possible, so if there’s anything you can go to him”, grandpa said and I let out a shaky breath. Luke…

He had been the kid that lived in my grandparents street and we’d always meet up whenever I visited them. I have no doubt he knows about my situation though and I’m not sure if that makes things better or worse…

“I’m gonna go”, I opened the door and quickly stood, afraid my short moment of courage wasn’t going to last very long.

“We’ll pick you up later, okay?” I have him a nod, closing the door and turning around as a few gazes already landed on me.

My eyes quickly glued to the floor and I started pushing my feet, already dreading the day. I entered a hallway and I felt so many eyes on me, it almost made me turn around and run. I really don’t wanna be here, this is just too much.

“Cat?” that made me look up and I could almost cry in relief “Luke?”

He hadn’t changed one bit. His light curls still framed his face as he stared at me with those pretty baby blue eyes, he looked as handsome as ever.

“Are you ready for your first day?” he asked as he came to me, looking almost excited, and I felt grateful I didn’t get the face full of pity or the ‘Are you okay?’ I was expecting.

“Not even a bit”, I spoke truthfully but he just threw his arms around my shoulder and started walking me “Don’t worry, you’ve got this. I picked up your stuff and put them in your locker so we can already go to class if that’s alright”

I gave him a sincere smile, as much of one I could give anyway, and spoke softly “Thanks Luke”

“Don’t mention it”, he said as he pulled me in a classroom and stopped at a desk. Siting down, he patted the one beside him for me.

Several minutes passed before a lady entered the classroom, saying the words I hoped she wouldn’t “Good morning class, we’ve got a new student today. You want to come introduce yourself?” Her eyes were on me by the end, just like everyone else’s and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Deep breaths, just breath…

Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself out of the chair and took hesitant steps to the front of the class.

“I’m Catherine, 17 years old and I moved to live with my grandparents and sisters”, I spoke and my eyes stayed with my feet. I just couldn’t get myself to look up.

“Where did you live before that?” someone asked and I froze. I don’t, I… I just….

“Calm down, there will be other times to ask her all these questions”, the teacher interrupted and I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. So I suppose they know as well…

“You can get back to your seat, Catherine”, she gave me a smile before I bolted back to my chair, my cheeks probably crimson red. She didn’t need to tell me twice.

“You alright?” I turned to Luke and quickly just nodded before I fixed my gaze on the desk in front of me. I wasn’t okay but I was just happy I wasn’t standing there anymore. And to think once I loved getting all the attention…

I heard the door of the classroom open again and looked up just as the teacher crossed her arms.

“Jake, you’re late”, the teacher spoke to the guy that just entered but he just waved her off as he went passed me to the back of the class. I’ll have to reminde myself to avoid mister arrogant… That was so not okay.

“Alright, let’s begin now we’re all here”, the teacher started and I softly relaxed into the chair. I can do this.