Is It You

Adira POV 5

I stood from the kitchen and watched Malachi work out on the front lawn, surrounded by barbells of varying sizes, a training bench and a wide grey mat. He was shirtless except for the black shorts that hung low on his hips and wireless headphones in his ears. I peeked at the clock and realized it was 5AM.

I'm pretty sure he's avoiding me. How can he be working out this early!

I tried to remove my gaze from the window but then he turned around and his eyes caught mine. There was a hint of sadness and anger in them but he simply cut his gaze away from me and continued with his weights. Seeing him like this wasn't what I wanted nor planned but there was no way I could have made it better. I wanted him to know the truth. I wanted him to know the choice he was making. I had no skills or desire to be a Luna and I was pretty sure I'd be terrible at it.

I moved away from the window and put on a pot of coffee. Sleep hadn't been my best friend all night and I could feel the tiredness greasing my muscles. My movements were choppy and I felt as if I would fall any moment. Coffee was the best choice. I poured it into a large cup and took a seat by the table since I wouldn’t make it back upstairs.

Hmmm.... refreshing

I could feel it starting to open my pores and strengthen my eyes, going down to my fingers and my neck. It would surely aid the minimal energy I already had. The next thing on my list was to make breakfast to appeal to Malachi’s good side. I didn’t want his wolf to dislike me. There’d only be tension and as it was, I’d be stuck with him for the next six months so we had to play nice. I set about making pancakes and a few strips of bacon, starting up the coffeemaker again and left it to do its thing.

I peeked out the window one more time. Malachi was packing away the equipment from the front yard, moving the weights last as if they weighed nothing. He put them to the side of the house in a small shed then came walking back to the front door. I moved away from the window at the last moment and saw the front door fly open. He walked across the living room in fast strides and I tried calling out to him.

“Malachi”

No answer.

His feet touched the bottom of the stairs and I walked up behind him. Let’s try this again.

“Malachi”

He started climbing the stairs one by one and I noticed his headphones were still in. I climbed up behind him and caught a fist full of his shirt in my hand. It restricted his next step and he slowly turned to look at me. I motioned to my ears for him to remove his headset. Slightly annoyed, he took them out and pushed them into his pocket.

“I made pancakes and bacon. Care to eat?”

He was looking at me with a sour expression and I couldn’t really blame him. With everything happening, I had drawn the short end of the stick. I wish I could take it back but it was too late. Malachi sighed.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to eat.”

I turned on my heel and went back to the kitchen alone. Trying to tame the beast would be difficult but I only had so much bravery and confidence to do it. I could try again tomorrow.

But tomorrow was the same thing. And the next day. And the next. The entire week had flown past us and we kept tiptoeing around each other. I had continued making breakfast each morning after his workout but he kept ditching me to his office or his bedroom. At this point I was convinced that he was surviving without food since he ate nothing I offered but Wildon showed up today with freshly made brownies from his mate.

I allowed him to take them to Malachi’s office and left them for the evening. I could eat alone. He didn’t have to hide. It’s his house and his choice. I knew I was hurting but I had to reign it in until I returned home. For now though, I’d make my favorite pasta recipe. I skillfully went through the motions and within the next hour, I sat around the dining table with a fork in my hand. The creamy pasta and cheese looked mouth watering but I couldn’t help to not feel sad.

“Something smells good” Wildon’s distant voice travelled to me until he was off the stairs and standing by the kitchen door.

I gave him a meek smile and refocused on my plate.

“Care if I join you? My mate is terrible at cooking but surprisingly baking is her calling.”

I gestured to the pan with adequate pasta left and he took a few scoops for himself then joined me at the table. It felt nice to have someone’s company, to try my cooking like my parents did. Adair always ate with me despite her depression too. She had said it was one of the good moments between us.

“This is great Adira,” Wildon complimented. “Wonder why Malachi keeps asking me to bring food over when you’re right here”

I still hadn’t touched my plate yet but he was going through his in gusto. I put down my fork and leaned back in my chair.

“I hurt him, didn’t I?”

Wildon paused with his fork and looked over at me. He didn’t respond though no matter how much I wish he did. I already knew the answer.

“I didn’t want to hurt him, that wasn’t my true intention. I just wanted him to know what he was getting into. How could I hide from him the fact that I’m not his mate? That I don’t even have a wolf? I’m a disappointment to my family already, I don’t need to be useless to him too”

I said too much.

“Thanks for eating with me,” I gave Wildon a soft shoulder squeeze then left him to finish up. I needed some sleep to calm my raging emotions.

I can’t believe I just blurted all that out, even if it was the truth. I didn’t want to pretend to be Adair and then be rejected when I got too attached. Alphas are protective of their mates and I was lucky enough that he didn’t attack me but...I didn’t want him to think I was her. I want him to accept me for me. But I’ve always been a second choice, a mistake. Maybe I would have been better off if I was at my apartment for the next three months. Being alone was better than being here.

Tonight I couldn’t sleep either. I turned to see the sun shining through on a beautiful Sunday morning and I shared its warmth. I kicked my sheets off and rubbed the back of my neck. Something was off. My temperature felt unusually high and my body was weak. A few nights without proper sleep and food pushed me right into a high fever. s**t. I tried to push off the bed and unsuccessfully landed on my stomach on the floor. The vase on my night dresser also came down with me and a resounding crack filled the air, glass pieces spread out to my left.

“Adira?” Malachi’s worry filled voice sounded down the hall.

No, I didn’t want him to see me like this!

I tried to answer him but words barely passed my lips. I heard his slow footsteps coming up to my door and he paused outside.

“Adira, are you okay in there?”

I wanted to move off my arm so badly and move away from the damage but I couldn’t feel my legs. I didn’t want to ask him for help when I had no right too. I tried again to answer him and the wrong word left my lips.

“Help,” I squeaked.

I didn’t recognize that wanton voice that came out but I knew it was me. He opened the door and his eyes momentarily widened to see me sprawled on the floor. He quickly stepped around the glass fragments and hoisted me to his warm chest.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

He set me on the bed carefully and brushed the hair away from my face. It felt awkward for him to be touching me, holding me but I welcomed a change in his demeanor. After ignoring me for six days, I officially couldn’t take it anymore. I may not be his chosen but I was still a person.

“You have a fever,” He muttered. His voice held a hint of annoyance.

“I didn’t mean to annoy you,” I said with a shaky voice. “I’m fine, go back to your office, it’s just a mild fever”

He looked down at me with anger in his eyes. Did I say something wrong? He pulled my sheets up to cover my legs and moved away from the bed. I was prepared to see him leave but he turned to look at the broken vase. Should I offer to replace it?

“I’ll clean up the mess after I get you some pills,” He stated out loud. “I’m terrible at the stove but I should be able to make you some chicken soup. That's okay?”

I gave him a dumbfounded look. Why would he do that?

“You don’t have to do that, I’m fine. I can take care of myself” I told him.

I turned on my side and listened as his footsteps left the room and the close of the door.