I sat across from Esther in the blue room that we had decorated for Sebastian. He was happily lounging in his baby bouncer with a myriad of toys surrounding him on the floor and we watched him from a corner of the room. We had only brought in a baby bed, his toys and set up a changing station. The rest of the room was bare with a large painting of Clifford, the big red dog, on the wall. Esther wiped his chin of drool from his babbling and looked up at me from her position on the floor. I couldn’t stop staring at her, she was so beautiful. And still alive. If Adira hadn’t gotten here before I did, they both would have been slaughtered and I would have lost my mind. I didn’t want to experience losing a mate. I didn’t want to experience losing a pup. The reality that they could be gone in a

