BABY STEPS

CHAPTER 6 (PART 3)

"Honestly?" He asked, raising a brow. "I don't know. I've just been itching to just talk to you."

"Why?"

"I don't know," he says again, sitting down on Adam's bed beside me. "I guess I just, I don't know, Aria. We see each other every week day, and I don't want things to be weird between us."

"Who said things were weird?" I started to play with my hands, looking down at them, trying not to look at him. My heart was beating so fast I thought he could hear it now.

"Come on, we don't say hi to each other, and that's weird! I..." He trailed, off, and I risked a glance at him, watching as his ears turned red. "We had... A moment... We did a thing. And we shouldn't be like this."

"We're not friends, Ian," I state, and he nods slowly.

"I know that."

"We never spoke before."

"Stop acting like it doesn't matter!" He jumps to his feet, then stands directly in front of me. "Look, it may not be a big deal to you, but..." I finally looked at him.

"But it was your first time, and it sucked. Right?"

He sighed softly, nodding in agreement. "Right." Every time I looked down at my hands, I kind of looked at my stomach. How can he not know that we're having a baby together? Can't he feel it? The way I do. Can't he tell that something isn't right?

"We could try and be friends," I say. "But I don't think that'll help. And I don't think your girlfriend would like it."

"She'll get over it," he laughs, walking over to Adam's trophy shelf. Running his finger along the names.

"Does she know?"

"She knows about me. Not us. I don't just go around telling people that I had s*x with you."

"Wasn't that the whole point?"

"No!" He shouts, looking back at me. "It wasn't just about that!"

"Then what?" I asked, standing up to. "What was it about?" He doesn't answer right away, he just stares at me. And it's the most impassive stare in the world. I swear this boy gives nothing away.

"I don't know..." He trails off softly, and I shake my head moving closer to him.

"Well you got to tell me something, Ian, because I am just dying!"

"There's nothing to tell!" He shouted.

"Then why'd ya have to pick me of all people? Why me?!" We were standing face to face now, the closest we've ever been since that night.

"Look, I just wanted to get it over with! Okay? I just wanted to know what it would feel like. It could've been anybody! But you were there, and you were willing." Ouch.

For some reason that hurt. It really hurt. But what was I expecting him to say? That I was the prettiest girl at that party? That he's been wanting to have s*x with me for years?

I nodded slowly, taking a few steps back from him. I think he realized then what he had just said. What he had really said. And that was that I wasn't great, or his first choice, but I was good enough. I'd do.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "That was mean."

"No," I said courtly. "No you're right. I should learn how to say no." And with that, I made my way out of the room.

"Aria, wait," I heard him say, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"What?" I asked, turning around slowly. I just wanted to leave, that's all I wanted. To go home and just cry. I was an i***t to think that maybe he would just like me, and then like my baby. That hope is such a b***h.

"I'm not saying that there's something wrong with who you are, but... I just... Why do you do it? You just seem like such a nice, gentle person yet you let guys like me take advantage of you. Why?"

"Because," I said quietly. "It makes me feel... Loved."