The Mate He Couldn’t Control (complete)

Chapter 32

I followed quietly, stuck in my thoughts as usual. Noah didn’t talk either which made me feel better about it. I’m slowly starting to figure out the moon goddess. She has a strange way of reminding you that she has it all planned out for you, no matter how much free will you believe you have. It’s subtle though as if she’s hoping you’ll overlook it. What are the chances that the twins AND Noah all three show up from the same place across the world, all three with supernatural abilities?

We walked up a few flights of stairs before Noah opened two large doors. “As much as we love unity, the school is divided into three families: Vampires, Witches, and Hybrids. This tends to be useful when we get new students who haven’t learned control.” There were a few kids that skipped out on dinner, but they took one look at Noah and left. We sat on one of the couches beside a giant fireplace as my eyes wandered the room slowly. Everything in the castle is incredibly sculpted in detail which makes each room more enchanting than the last. “We haven’t had the time to add a tribrid house so you’ll have to manage with us.”

“Unfortunately.” I tried to keep a straight face as I said it but his side eye made me let out a giggle. The silence made its way in between us again so I finally worked up the nerve to say what I’d been dancing around all day. “I remembered.” His head snapped in my direction, but the rest of his body stiffened. “Two years ago I met you on my birthday.”

Noah’s face lit up, but his eyes held slight disappointment.

“When did you remember? I hoped you would before the ball, but I was pushing my luck.”

“A few weeks back. My cousin irritated me and somehow triggered it.”

“I’m sorry for compelling you, truly. I was a very new vampire at the time. I wasn’t supposed to be out of the castle or anywhere near you. I didn’t know that you were unaware, but afterward, I realized you might have responded differently if you had been.”

“There’s no need to be sorry. You helped me. I let Jaylon go and moved on with my life as you told me to. I can’t begin to imagine how different I would be now if it weren’t for that encounter.”

“Were you happy?”

“The happiest I’ve ever been.”

“I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if it had been the opposite.”

“You have no idea how much good has come from that moment,” I reassured, lightly placing a hand on his arm. “May I ask you something?”

“Yes, of course.”

“My friend threw out a rather odd idea about someone like me having multiple. . . companions. Are you my mate?” The question came out slowly as I tried to calm my nerves.

“I thought you’d never ask, My Love,” Noah breathed out, sliding closer to me and gently grabbing my hands. For a moment, I felt happiness and relief, but then all of the other emotions began to kick in as I realized the chaos this would bring. How could it be both? He caught on to my lack of response and continued, “I’m willing to let you go. It’s not what I want, but I know it’s what’s best for you. With your title, you need a mate that your pack will trust, which isn’t a vampire. I just need you to promise me something.”

My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I could pass out. This is so unfair. I don’t have the option to get to know him and base the decision on my heart. I have a pack to think of. And on top of that, I now have someone else to think of. I can’t expect him to stay once he realizes my situation. I closed my eyes painfully. “What do you want me to promise?”

“Promise me that you will be happy,” Noah whispered, making me open my eyes and look into his. They held the same pain as mine.

“I can promise that I will try. But what about you? What about your own happiness? How are you okay with this?”

“I will be happy. I am happy. I’ve known this day would come for a while now. Just knowing that I will have you in my life is comforting. We may not get to spend eternity as mates, but we can spend eternity as friends, just like your grandmother and Elgar.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Eternity.”

“So who is doing the rejecting?”

“Rejecting? I meant that I wouldn’t claim you as mine. If I reject you, another will come after me. That’s another person I’ll have to share you with. Jaylon is enough.” His eyes darkened with jealousy while searching mine.

“But if you reject me, you will have another mate. You will have someone all to yourself. That’s the least I can give you.”

“Even if I ever agree to that, you're in no condition to handle a rejection. We can discuss this in a few months when you are.” His words made me slightly adjust my posture. There’s absolutely no way he knows and Jaylon doesn’t. Do vampires sense it sooner? Do witches? Does the whole castle know? Now isn’t the time for this discussion, Alison.

“No, we must do it now. Please let me do this for you. If we don’t do it now, I will never be able to.”

His features reflected his irritation but once he looked into my pleading eyes, he couldn’t say no. “Who’s rejecting who?”

“We could do it at the same time,” I offered sadly.

“On the count of three?” I nodded. “One. . . two. . .” When three got there, we both rushed the words out before we could change our minds. It felt horrible. It felt like my soul was being ripped from my body. I wanted to scream and break everything in the room, but I was just sitting there frozen with slow tears sliding down my cheeks. Noah was stiff and his eyes were holding in tears. My mind was rushing and my body felt numb. I slowly laid my head on his chest with his warmth being my source of comfort. “I’m sorry, My Love,” he whispered, rubbing my hair gently as my tears wet his sweater. I could feel the energy seep out of my body while I watched the flames beside us. Deep down I know, I will live to regret this.

I slightly woke up for a second but not enough to open my eyes. I readjusted, burying my face in his neck. The arms around me tightened and gentle fingers played with the end of my hair. Right before I fell asleep, I heard flapping nearby. A loud, raspy caw made me shoot up, ripping myself from the arms that held me. A black crow stood in between an open set of glass doors, staring at me curiously.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Noah sat up, pulling me back into his chest.

“Do you not see it?”

“That’s just Chaos, My Love. He is my familiar.” His soft hands ran up and down my arms slowly to calm me down.

“You chose the symbol of death as a familiar?” I questioned quietly, refusing to take my eyes off it.

“Familiars choose their magical being. And no they do not symbolize death, that’s superstition. Crows symbolize change and transformation.” I reluctantly sighed before observing my surroundings.

“Where are we?”

“In my room. You were very weak and fell asleep on me. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go home or not so I brought you up here.”

“Thank you for taking care of me,” I smiled awkwardly, turning back to face him.

“You don’t have to thank me for something I should be doing anyways.”

“I’m not your mate, you don’t have to take care of me.”

“You are my mate, rejection or not. I will always take care of you.” Our eyes caught each other for a moment. But the second my body began begging to kiss him, I awkwardly looked away and stood up.

“What time is it?”

He looked down at his wrist and then back up at me. “It’s 3:30, would you like me to take you home?”

“I can blink.”

“No, you shouldn’t be doing magic at least until the end of the day, you are still weak.”

“I feel fine.”

“No, please let me walk you home,” he begged. I agreed and headed for his door, trying to stay as far from the crow as possible. “We can’t go through the halls, everyone is supposed to be in their rooms. We’ll have to jump. I can hold you if you’d like?”

I looked down at my heels. They wouldn’t survive the impact. “If you don’t mind.” I glanced over at the crow that stood watching me.

“Chaos won’t harm you. If anything he’ll protect you,” Noah reasoned.

“Protect me? How?”

“Crows are very intelligent and have amazing facial recognition. They know when someone is a threat.”

“So then why did you name him Chaos?”

“I didn’t. He named himself that.”

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better.”

“He’s part of me. I will never hurt you. He will never hurt you. I promise.” I glanced from Noah to Chaos reluctantly before walking towards the glass doors. To my relief, it moved out of my way. I stepped on the edge and looked down as the wind blew my hair back. There was no balcony and we were hundreds of feet in the air. “I didn’t realize we were so high up.”

My breath caught in my throat once I felt his chest against my back “Are you scared?” he whispered in my ear.

I glanced down once more before turning around and looking up at him. “No.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and he did the same around my waist. I laid my head on his chest as he took a step forward and then we dropped.

The wind began to attack us full force as we fell through the sky. I lifted my head and cupped his left cheek with my hand. I couldn’t help but return a gentle smile as his eyes looked into mine with love. It felt like slow motion as my hair flew around us. It would have been the perfect moment to kiss. I hate the number three.

We came to a sudden stop and Noah let me down gently. “Do you feel better?”

“What do you mean?”

“It appears that you have returned to cooler tones,” he replied, causing me to look down. My white locks were back and very messy.

“You calm my nerves,” I admitted, turning towards the forest.

I heard him smirk behind me before he grabbed my hand and we made our way. “Have you ever jumped from that high before? You seemed cautious.”

“Not that high, but I usually don’t have a problem with heights. I’ve just been extra cautious here lately. . . So, you can talk to birds?”

“Not exactly. We share thoughts with our familiars.”

“Oh, well that’s useful. Will I have one?”

“I’m not sure, your wolf might try to eat it,” he joked, making me giggle.

“Eww, no. I am fully in control.”

“I’m only kidding.” He squeezed my hand gently and stayed silent for the rest of our walk. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I know some people wanted moments of silence, but when Jaylon did, there was a reason, which is never good.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, turning to look at him once we reached my house.

Noah looked at me confused. “No, why do you ask?”

“You have moments where you don’t talk for long periods. Am I getting on your nerves?”

“No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Silence makes me anxious. Every time Jaylon’s quiet he’s about to explode.”

“I swear to you I am perfectly fine. I just like enjoying the moment with you. Please don’t ever think you're doing something wrong.” A smile came to my lips and I nodded.

“Thank you for walking me home.” I pulled him into a tight hug that filled my body with warmth.

“It’s been my pleasure,” he replied, flashing a bright smile before planting a kiss on my forehead. “Alison?”

“Hmm?”

“Why were you upset when you arrived?”

“What makes you think I was upset? I just wanted to see the castle.”

“I am not a fool, My Love. Your features were dark and your eyes were tired. Does he hurt you?”

“Not physically,” I replied quietly.

“You promised you would be happy.” Noah’s body stiffened and his eyes turned cold.

“It’s not like that, at least not anymore. I have been happy lately. At first, we had problems, but now we’re fine. I’m just trying to give him space. I’ve been getting on his nerves a little. Ever since the transition, I’ve been clingy.”

“Clingy? He’s mad because you're clingy?”

“Jaylon is a very introverted person. I haven’t given him the space or time he needs.”

“Do you have any idea what I would do to be in his shoes? Just being in your presence for a moment brightens my whole day. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I got to spend every day with you, beginning to end.”

“But I’ve been a lot lately. . .”

“That shouldn’t matter. You are my mate. You are my space and my time. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, you will always have my attention. You deserve to be treated that way by more than just me.”

“I can’t just push him out of his comfort zone, he’ll shut down.”

“Look, My Love, we rejected each other because you believe you can be happy with him and you have a pack to run. But if he makes another tear fall from your eyes, I will claim you and this as mine,” Noah whispered in my ear, holding a soft hand to my lower stomach. His lips placed a slow kiss on my cheek before he disappeared in the wind. I stood speechless with raised eyebrows, staring into the direction he ran off in. We’re not discussing the thoughts in my mind.

“There you are. I’ve been worried. I haven’t seen you since lunch!” Nick started, pulling me into a hug.

“Why? I disappear all of the time,” I smirked to play it off.

“You haven’t disappeared since you and Jaylon got back together,” he argued.

“Back together?”

“You two are always off and on, don't start with me. Now, where were you?"

I gave him a look, warning him to hush as people started to fill the hallways. “I have to go, I have a quiz I didn’t get to study for yesterday,” I lied and sped off to class. I didn’t wanna talk about it, not until I did with Jaylon. I guess that conversation was happening sooner than I anticipated.

I walked into the dark classroom and froze. Jaylon was sitting on a desk, staring off into the dark. “I have been looking for you all night,” he started quietly before standing up and making his way over to me. “I checked our room. I went into your room. I ran through the ENTIRE forest. I went to your house. I went to the old packhouse. I went through the old tunnels. I called you. I texted you. I mind-linked you. This was my last stop.”

I took a step back for each one he took forward. My back reached the wall as he finally rushed up and stopped an inch from me. I gasped when I saw his face. His eyes were puffy and dark from his lack of sleep. “Why? You said you didn’t care where I went or what I did.”

“Where the f**k were you?”

“With Noah.”

He began to shake with anger before turning around and throwing a desk across the room. I stood quietly as he destroyed our surroundings. “Of course, you go to him! I knew you would do this. I could love all three sides of you just fine on my own but no you want to entertain someone else now,” Jaylon stormed around screaming.

The chaos in this whole situation is making me nauseous, but I tried to bite it down as long as I could. We need to get it all out, just not my breakfast with it. “Noah is my mate, but we rejected each other.”

At that, Jaylon froze. “You chose me?” he asked quietly. In a second, he was in front of me again with tears in his eyes, holding my face in his hands. He looked so hopeful but truthfully I think he was having a nervous breakdown. Somehow this was even more terrifying than him throwing tables. He kept repeating the words over and began pressing kisses all over my face. “I can’t believe you chose me.”

“I feel just as much for him as I do you, but it’s not like he had much to catch up to,” I replied, not hiding the irritation from my voice.

“But you chose me. That’s all that matters.” That’s all he cares about? There’s nothing that concerns him? He dropped down to his knees, rested his forehead on my stomach, and placed my hands on his head. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” And to think people worry about my emotional control. I can’t have a serious conversation with him like this.

I stood stiff for a minute, playing with his hair before asking, “How did you get here?”

“I ran here and Nick brought me clothes.”

“You need to get some rest.”

I drove to the packhouse as Jaylon clung to me, mumbling how ‘perfect’ I am for him. He placed kisses all over my shoulder and the side of my face while I ignored all of it, mind linking my teacher to use a different classroom. His flips are getting on my last nerve. I don’t care if it’s a good or bad attitude, I just want him to pick a side and stay there. It’s like he has a twin or something. At first, he was reluctant, apparently in fear of me leaving, but I made him take a shower the second we walked into his room. I immediately opened his balcony doors, took off my shoes, and dropped back on his bed, closing my eyes. The wind passing by calmed me as I took slow breaths. I don’t feel good at all. I feel nauseous and weak. But emotionally. . . I’m numb. I’m kind of just here, taking care of Jaylon.

Jaylon jumped on the bed beside me not long after. “Jaylon! You're soaking wet!” I complained.

“I’ll dry. I didn’t want to keep you waiting too long,” he replied, flashing me his perfect smile.

“It doesn’t take more than a minute for you to dry off! Where is your towel?” I demanded, sitting up.

“No, I’ll go get it.” He left and came back with dry skin and towel-dried hair. Was it that hard? Now the bed is damp.

“Thank you.”

He yanked me over to him and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “You always smell so good,” he mumbled into my hair.

After ten minutes of mumbling, I snapped. I rolled on top of him, grabbed his jaw, and glared down into his eyes. “Are you relapsing?”

“No.”

“Do not lie to me! Ever since the party, you’ve wanted nothing to do with me and now you’re all over me, begging for my attention. This happens every time you're high.”

“Okay, okay! I took one Friday and yesterday, but I’m not high. It takes a lot more than that. You know I’m trying,” he tried to reason, but it just made me growl in frustration.

“Trying? Are you serious right now? Trying? This is not trying, it’s giving up. You were a month clean. Do you think I’m dumb enough to believe this is the result of one? We were happy on Friday before you pulled that. Ever since I’ve been on the verge of tears trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong.”

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll do better-”

“I don’t want better, I want different. I’m tired of hearing ‘I’m sorry’. Everything is one thing after the next. I am your mate who is also going to be your Luna, the least you can give me is a healthy relationship. Now I’m going to school.” He tried to sit up in protest but I ripped his bracelet off and placed my glowing hand on his forehead. I let out a sigh of relief as I watch him fall asleep. I will admit, our problems aren’t all his fault. I have my moments too, but the things he’s done. . . This is just ridiculous.

The sleep spell I put Jaylon under would only last through the day, so I made sure to trap him in his room. Dalton and Seth owe me favors, so they’re making sure he eats. Jaylon is not well at the moment and I’m not in any state to deal with it. At least he’ll be completely sober tomorrow.

After school, I went home but my parents weren’t there so I went out for a run to clear my mind. I took off through the trees, heading straight for the waterfall. About ¾ of the way there, I began to feel exhausted, so I cheated. I popped in front of Noah, who didn’t look the least bit surprised, more like he was waiting. “Hello, My Love,” he smirked up at me before taking off his blazer and holding it out.

His face then went serious as he watched everything but me. I quickly shifted and put it on. “Thank you,” I smiled shyly.

“Of course. Besides, you look better in it than I do. Your wolf is much bigger than you are.”

“It's a title thing. How did you know where I would be?” I asked, refusing to let the topic slip.

“I was out for a walk and I heard you running around. I knew it was a matter of time before I’d see you. Speaking of that, you know you should be resting.”

“I slept just fine last night.”

“That’s not nearly enough. Look how tired you are. You should be home, in bed, with no distractions.”

“Fine, I will try to rest when I get home if you do something for me.”

“Oh, we’re bargaining now?” Noah raised an eyebrow, making me let out a giggle.

“I will rest if you meet my parents.”

“Hmm. . . usually the rejected lovers don’t meet the parents.” Even though he was playing it off as a joke, I could see the slight discomfort in his expression.

“I think they will like you and Jaylon will never let me around you unless you have my father's support,” I explained, causing him to stiffen.

“When?” he asked shortly.

“Really? Is tonight alright? Around seven or eight, whatever time is best for you.”

“I’d do anything to keep a smile on your lips. But yes, eight would probably be best.”

“Thank you so much!” I jumped up, hugging his neck. When he didn’t wrap his arms around me, I leaned my head back and gave him a confused look.

“Love, I’m trying as hard as I can to be a gentleman. But, you're only wearing my blazer,” he admitted painfully in my ear, causing me to slowly back up with an awkward smile. “Now, you must get some rest. I’ll see you tonight?”

“I hope so,” I admitted, before starting to walk off. “Oh, yeah. . .” I trailed off, stopping and taking off his jacket. I tossed it to him as his eyes darkened, then gave him a playful smirk before disappearing through the trees.